April 9, 2015 by Maggie Currie

Why do people stay in abusive relationships?

There are many, many reasons why women and men don’t leave an abusive relationship. Often it is because they don’t realise that they are being abused. They think it is normal. I know from experience that I believed the emotional, psychological and financial abuse I suffered was normal. I thought everyone’s relationship worked in this way. It wasn’t until I literally woke up one day and thought ‘this is n’t normal’ and started really looking at other people’s relationships that I realised I was in an abusive relationship.

I went and consulted a solicitor who agreed that not only was this an abusive relationship but I had grounds for divorce. Unreasonable behaviour. And so I took my courage in both hands and filed for divorce.

What is an abusive relationship?

One where you are treated in one or more of these ways:

Manipulated – Have their will imposed on you so you do as they say without realising it

Controlled – told what to wear, what to do, where to go, where you can and can’t work, who you can and can’t speak to

Insulted – in private and/or in public

Treated as a possession

Told that everything is your fault

Deprived of money – only allowed so much a day not allowed your own income

Deprived of friends – not allowed to have friends

Only allowed a mobile phone as long as you only call the abuser and they control the bill

Psychologically mistreated – made to feel worthless

Emotionally mistreated – constantly told you are useless and nobody wants you

Physically – beaten, burned, tortured

Sexually – raped, made to perform acts you don’t want to, made to be part of a threesome

Verbally – shouted at, berated in front of other people, made to feel small and inadequate

Held prisoner/locked up

Made to have meals on the table at specific times and threatened with various consequences if they don’t appear on time.

Interestingly in 1995 a national survey showed that just under 50% of abusers are in fact female.

I believe that most of the reasons that people don’t leave abusive relationships, once they realise what it is, stem from fear.

Most of the fears are understandable, but often irrational. For instance, fear of having no money if they leave. Because women are generally at home looking after the children, they don’t have any income of their own. The fear of financial ruin builds in the mind until it becomes ‘I can’t survive if I leave’. And so they stay.

Fear of losing the children. If a man has been abused he may find it very difficult to leave with the children.

Most of the fears are understandable, but often irrational. For instance, fear of having no money if they leave. It may be they don’t have any income of their own. The fear of financial ruin builds in the mind until it becomes ‘I can’t survive if I leave’. And so they stay.

Fear of what other people might think. There is often a social stigma that labels people as failures if they dare to leave their partners. Usually nobody outside the home realises what is going on which adds to that stigma. This leads to feelings of insecurity. And so they stay.

Fear of what might happen to them at the hand of their partner if they did leave. Often people believe that their partner will come after them and kill them and/or their children. The threats are made to them over and over again, until they are ingrained in their mind. And so they stay.

People often fear that they are the reason that they are abused. That it is their fault. And if they were to change their ways their abusive partner would be different. A false supposition. And so they stay.

Of course, the abuser will tell their partner that they will change, they won’t do it again. But they do. They never change.

I know how difficult it is to leave an abusive relationship. I was verbally, emotionally and financially abused by my first husband. He would belittle me in front of the children and other people, always tell me that I knew nothing, that I was of no use and he would do anything to stop me succeeding at anything. Add to that the fact that my parents believed that I should make the marriage work because I was too young, in their opinion, to know what I was doing, and I was financially dependent. And so I stayed. I stayed 10 years.

I did, eventually, wake up to the fact that it was not normal to be treated in this way, and found the courage to leave and take the children with me and started a new life in a different town. The feeling of relief was immense. Although I was threatened with all sorts of things, such as having the children removed, losing my flat etc., I discovered that the threats were empty. And this is probably true of most abusers. They are cowards and when someone actually stands up to them, they generally back off.

There are ways out of this horrendous situation. There are both men’s and women’s refuges who will help you so that you can get yourself out of the abusive home. Once you are out and can think about what options there are for you, there are counsellors and life coaches who can help you see yourself as you, the real person, and not a punch bag.

There are various organisations who can and will help you to start your new life. Social Services and the Police will work together to ensure that you are safe and help you to move on with your life. They will give you respite and guidance in a safe environment. There are solicitors, the Samaritans, Citizens’ Advice, Relate and they can all point you in the right direction for help. Schools will have contacts if you are worried about your children. There is a whole lot that can be done for you once you are out of the abusive situation and in a safe place. There are protocols that can be introduced and put into action for you.

There are trusted friends and family who may be able to help you too.

If I had known about life coaching back then I would have been first in the queue.

There is no reason good enough to actually justify staying in an abusive relationship.

It can be hard to admit that you are in an abusive relationship. But if you think you are being abused and you are unhappy, get out of that relationship as soon as possible. Take your courage in both hands and make the leap. Often men find it much harder to admit to being abused than women do, but I believe they are just as justified as anyone else. There is help out there for everyone.

Do you want to remain stuck and miserable? If your answer is no, find your way to get out and start your new life on your own terms.

Remember, the relationship has failed, not you. You are not a failure.

If you would like to chat confidentially about your situation, contact me hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Maggie Currie

Thought Leader, Speaker, Author, Survivor

Contributor to BBC Radio, Vectis Radio, Susan Rich Radio

Published author and regularly write articles for national and international magazines.

Find out more about me on my website.

March 23, 2015 by Maggie Currie

Do you look good on the outside, but inside you are crumbling?

Wouldn’t it feel wonderful to get beyond these feelings to a calmer and more positive place. What if you could…

Overcome your fears and anxieties?
Gain the courage to make a change?
Get on with enjoying your life?
Unlock your inner strengths?
Put your own needs first?
Be a survivor not a victim?

THIS IS NOT SOME UNACHIEVABLE DREAM. I’M GOING TO HELP YOU MAKE IT HAPPEN.

Picture this. In 2 1/2 days you’ll be feeling like a new you. You’ll have reconnected with your inner confidence and feel able to survive the challenges and obstacles that you face in your life.

You will have developed a new found energy, and you will have a spring in your step.

You’ll be on track to change your situation and live the life you want.

IN OTHER WORDS, IN JUST 2 1/2 DAYS, YOUR LIFE WILL BE TURNED AROUND.

I am running two retreats, one for women and one for men, here on the Isle of Wight.

The S.E.L.F. Retreat for women, and The L.I.F.E. Retreat for men.

I’M HERE TO HELP YOU

I want you to know that it is possible to make a change; that no situation, no matter how desperate, is insurmountable.

As Napoleon Hill says, “Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.”

So, if you’re serious about moving on from your feelings of anxiety and despair, now’s the time to take action.

I’ve designed this Retreat for you – the person who is struggling to live life on your own terms and is finally ready to turn things around.

I’m here to help you be a survivor.

Stop making the same vague wish (“I hope my life finally takes off this year”) every single birthday.

One of these Retreats is for you if you’re finally ready to make a positive change and be a survivor, not a victim.

WHICHEVER RETREAT YOU CHOOSE, I AM GIVING YOU:

The tools you need to recharge yourself and your confidence in yourself in a supportive and non-judgmental environment.
The knowledge you need to survive following a life trauma – divorce, redundancy, overwhelm, loss.
My knowledge and the resources I have accumulated over many years of research, trial and error and failure, and of course successes.
A stay in a beautiful Victorian mansion so close to the beach you will have sand in your shoes. (Situated a 20 minute walk from the Hovercraft and Wightlink Fastcat passenger terminals. No need to bring your car across. I can even arrange for you to be collected from the ferry or hovercraft and bring you to the venue.)
The focus on you to get to know and love your real SELF.

Plus I am giving you:

A buffet style continental breakfast each morning.
Your own chef preparing, cooking and serving your lunches and dinners each day on site.
Unlimited refreshments throughout each day.
Your own welcome pack to keep.
Some top notch surprise guest speakers and coaches to add to your experience.
Our own private Facebook group for continued support.
A one to one coaching session with me.

YOU will find the solutions you are looking for. Forget all the imagined reasons why you think it won’t work for you. Believe the one reason why it will!

Find out more about the Retreat of your choice by clinking on the appropriate link:

The S.E.L.F. Retreat

The L.I.F.E. Retreat

The investment per person is £749.00 all inclusive. No hidden costs. Everything is provided, just bring yourself.

Don’t think of cost, think of the value to you and your life.

RESULTS

I’ve been working with clients as a thought leader and survival coach for the past 10 years to help them overcome stress, anxiety and life trauma.

I helped one client to change their career from one they hated to one they loved.

Another client came to me with anxiety associated with confrontation and low self-esteem. She is now leading a whole team of people and confident in her abilities.

I also helped a client who was suffering from very low self-esteem to realise her full potential and she is now blossoming running her own business.

Don’t just take my word for it!

“Maggie has an instant relaxing mentality rarely found in people, backed with a genuine empathy for people. Maggie has the mark of calm, leaving you feeling relaxed and at peace. Maggie’s knowledge and style leaves clients and fellow professionals wanting more of her work. Maggie is just one of those people with a gift and the world is blessed with her use of them.”
– DU, UK (Male)

“Maggie has great experience of dealing with life situations in a positive way. I have seen people grow within themselves during several of her presentations and seminars. She deals with people in a non-judgemental and constructive way, whilst challenging them to look at their view of them selves and to re-evaluate their own self-worth.” – KC, UK (Male)

“Maggie assisted me through a challenging time in my life. She is able to combine a no nonsense approach with genuine empathy to her coaching work and shares her knowledge generously. She holds you accountable for outcomes in a warm and caring manner. Being coached by Maggie was such a pleasure. I always looked forward to those sessions with anticipation. Maggie is able to hold your space in a non-judgemental manner which gives you the confidence to move forward. I certainly recommend her as a coach.” – TZ, South Africa (Female)

“I used to get irritated whenever you would say ‘why can’t you do that?’ or ‘why do you think that?’. But now I see that by questioning my thinking you have broadened my outlook and I can actually achieve more than I ever thought. In fact the other day I was faced with a challenge, and my initial thought was I need to get someone in to do this for me. Then I stopped and thought of you and it came to me that I can do it. And do you know what, I did it and it worked out very well.” – IM, UK (Male)

SO ASK YOURSELF, WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT FROM YOUR LIFE? WHAT DO YOU WISH YOUR LIFE COULD BE LIKE? AND HOW READY ARE YOU TO MAKE A CHANGE, ONCE AND FOR ALL?

Book your place today……..There are only 10 places available for each Retreat.

The S.E.L.F. Retreat

The L.I.F.E. Retreat

Grant yourself the freedom to START LIVING.

Can’t wait to see you there!

Maggie Currie

Thought Leader, Speaker, Author, Survivor

Contributor to BBC Radio, Vectis Radio, Susan Rich Radio

Published author and regularly write articles for national and international magazines.

Find out more about me on my website.

P.S. Here are just a few testimonials from my previous workshops/courses/seminars:

“Thanks Maggie, I have your book in my bag and the collage I made at your workshop, when I look at it, it gives me the confidence to carry on. I can’t thank you enough for that workshop, it was great.” Maggie J

“Maggie always brings a refreshing energy to any situation. She truly enjoys helping others to live the life they deserve!” Teri H

“Maggie helped me to make one big decision that led to another, and another, and another – and that’s how my life changed for the better!” Jane L

“Maggie makes the toughest challenges seem simple. Always exceeds my expectations.” Wendy W

“I have done really well since your workshop. I decided that it was OK to give up being self employed because there is too much going on elsewhere it is not serving me well. I have successfully applied for a surveyors job at xxxxxxx and been offered a very good package. I have accepted and start in November part time until I finish all my jobs and then full time by 2015. I am really pleased to say the least. It was very helpful to go somewhere for some “me” time. Thank you! ” Peter M

March 15, 2015 by Maggie Currie

Set goals that stretch you, but that you can achieve

With the year a quarter of the way through already and the distant memory of those abandoned New Year resolutions, you may well be demoralised into thinking that goals cannot be achieved easily.

However, if you commit to a proper process you can, and indeed will, achieve your goals.

I would like to tell you how I managed to identify my goals for setting up my own businesses and how I achieved them.

When I was leaving the relative security of paid employment for the peculiarities of self-employment, I needed to decide what I was going to do, as, like a lot of people, I had a chequered career history. I chose to work in a field that I most enjoyed, people development. I then had to research the market to see where there was a gap, and if there was a gap, if I had the capability to fill it.

I did a lot of research, most of which cost me no money but a lot of my time. I asked friends, family and colleagues. I looked in the press and on the Internet, and I spoke with professionals, people already in business and business associations. All the research told me was that there was room for a Coach who wanted to help people to survive following life traumas, and to really start living their lives.

I identified my Unique Selling Point – ME! No other company had me within their employ. So I used this to my advantage and set about contacting everyone I knew and told them what I was doing and asked them to consider me for work.

Help comes to those who help themselves. The old adage “All good things come to those who wait” is true, but it’s also true that more help comes to those who help themselves. I hated the wait for the telephone to ring, so I acted as if my business was already running and built a database, set up templates, made business cards, researched the possibilities of employing staff, hiring premises and even working abroad. Nothing was out of reach.

This enabled me to feel and act as if I was already in business, so when I networked – and believe me, I networked – I sounded professional. In time the telephone did ring and one thing led to another. I have been in business for ten years now and have enjoyed every minute. I have learned a lot too. All my hard work has paid off and I am very successful.

Now I want to inspire and motivate you to achieve your goals.

But what are your goals? Do you know? The very first thing you need to do is take some time to seriously consider what goals you want to achieve. Really think, and decide what your goals are. Something else to consider is what are you most dissatisfied with in your life. What can you do about it?

Look at your personal life, your personal growth, your finances. Is there anything you would like to change? What can you do to make those changes?

Once you have set goals for your personal life, think about your career. What do you like about it? What don’t you like about it? Are your finances healthy? What about your professional development? What can you do to change the things you don’t like and implement the things you do like?

Commit to 1-3 goals to get you started, you can add more as each you achieve each goal. Aim to have no more than seven goals at any one time, whilst you work on the top three as a priority. Sometimes it is better to set yourself smaller goals, then you will be motivated to set bigger ones as you achieve them.

Some people prefer to set one or two large goals, and put all their energy and focus into those. The number of goals you set is more to do with your personality than with your likelihood of success. Whichever you choose is fine, each is equally successful, if you follow this process. Once you have your goals, look at them in conjunction with each other to ensure they are not pulling you in different directions.

Once you have decided on your goals, refine them. All goals must be written down and be personal, in the present tense and positive. If your goals are not written down, they are merely dreams.

All your goals must start with “I”. The idea of present tense is important as it convinces your subconscious to think you are already achieving it. The subconscious part of your brain does not judge the information it is presented with, it cannot tell the difference between fantasy and reality. So if your goal is, for instance, to build a business, speak to yourself as if it is already underway and your subconscious will think you are currently doing so. This adds to your success.

So your goal may be ‘I am building my business and every day I am more successful’. Or it may be ‘I am moving up my career ladder at the right pace for me’.

Always write your goals down as it cements them into your psyche. Research has proven that goals that are written down have a significantly higher rate of success.

Goals must always be positive. Goals must be about what you want to achieve, to have or do. Focus on what the goal will give you. What benefits to you are there to achieving your goal? Do not think of what you are giving up or losing, as this is the wrong direction to focus in – look forward not back.

Irrespective of the goal, there are only four benefits:

Well being
Status
Money
Time

Once you know this, you will be able to keep that in focus and the idea of what you are aiming to achieve has a reason behind it, a benefit.

One of the main causes of goals not working is focusing on what you are missing out on and not on what you are gaining. What will you gain from achieving your goals?

Take action and really begin to change your life. If you need help, email me at hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk and we can arrange a FREE chat.

Maggie Currie

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March 2, 2015 by Maggie Currie

Chill

Stress as we all know is a killer. And yet still the number of people suffering from it continues to increase. In the UK it is estimated that work-related stress is responsible for six million days of sick leave a year.

When you own your own business, being sick from work is simply not an option. Ask a business owner when they last took a day off sick and chances are it was last century. Maybe we’re all delusional, believing that the business would come crashing to its knees if we weren’t there to run it. More likely that we know the business can function very well without us, but there simply aren’t the resources in place to pick up the work in your absence. Whatever the reason, small business owners don’t read the signs their bodies send them when they are working too hard. That stiff neck, backache, that heart burn – you just work through it.

Whilst it is normal to have some stress when running your own business, excessive stress can seriously disrupt your productivity and have a huge impact on your physical and emotional health. How you deal with this stress can mean the difference between your success or failure.

If you go to your local A & E department you will find doctors and nurses working in very stressful conditions as a matter of course. They get on with their jobs in a quick but measured fashion and there is never any panic amongst the staff. This includes everyone, the porters, the doctors, the nurses. They all have a job to do and they just get on with it – systematically. No dramas, no ‘not quite knowing what was the most important or urgent task of the day’.

There really is little to get stressed about in business. What goes on in hospitals every day all over the country is quite extraordinary. Our doctors and nurses and all their support teams work in severely stressful situations, they work incredibly long hours and are in the business of saving lives. It doesn’t get much bigger than that does it? And yet they seem to do it quite reservedly – we don’t hear much about them on a day-to-day basis do we?

Is it really worth getting so worked up about business? Why not start a triage system in your business – there are just some things that can sit being monitored for while, whilst you get on with the important stuff.

Managing stress doesn’t have to be about making huge changes or rethinking career paths. I believe it is about focusing on the one thing that’s always within your control: YOU.

You can’t control everything related to your business; that would be unrealistic. But that doesn’t mean to say that you are totally powerless—even when you’re stuck in a difficult situation.

I’m a coach specialising in helping people reduce or eliminate stress in their work. I will help you get out from hiding behind your desk. I have set up and run two successful businesses over the past 10 years and I managed stress levels successfully so that it didn’t affect me very much.

And you can do it too…… Take responsibility for your working life. I will help you to focus on what is important, what can be monitored, what can be outsourced, what can be ditched, so that you can work smarter and not harder.

Get in touch today to find out more about my 8 week coaching programme to help you reduce or even eliminate stress from your work.

Maggie Currie

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February 16, 2015 by Maggie Currie

Give yourself permission to simply be

I have discovered that frequently the elation that we feel when we have learned an important lesson, achieved a goal, or had a huge breakthrough can be met with a period of downtime afterward. During this time of transition, we may feel unsure and not know where to turn next, we may have feelings of lack of self worth and self doubt.

I know that during this period of downtime, we may begin to wonder what our life is about, what our purpose is, will life get better? These feelings are very common and we all feel them from time to time. If this resonates with you, just remember you are not alone.

Often, we feel best when we are working on a project or vigorously pursuing a goal. We are engaged in the process of achieving, planning, doing. But there is nothing inherently wrong with spending a day, a week or even a month, simply existing and not having a plan. Just being. This time is just as valuable and helps to rebuild our stocks of energy, ideas etc.

I know that I have found sometimes the quiet lull between ideas, projects, and goals can make life appear empty. I know there are some people who, after accomplishing one objective, want to move immediately on to the next.

However, we are all different. When you find that your next step is unclear, it is quite natural to feel frustrated, or disconnected or even a mild depression.

To help calm what can be distressing thoughts, learn to accept that you will continue to grow as an individual whether you are striving for a specific objective or not. Just be. Use all the time you need to think about what you have recently gone through and leisurely contemplate what you wish to do next.

You may also find that in simply being and going through the motions of everyday life, you reconnect with your priorities in a very organic, unforced way.

I have found that this transition time is different all the time. It can be a period of reflection or a period of adjustment where new values based on recent changes can be integrated.

Just because you have temporarily lost sight of a final destination, doesn’t mean you should assume that you have lost your drive. Where you are going next will become apparent at the right time for you.

I would love to hear from you about your experiences of simply being. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

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December 30, 2014 by Maggie Currie

Do you really know what will it take to make you happy?

Think about it and see if you can discover, or if you know, what it will take for you to be happy?

Will being in a relationship, or with the right boyfriend/girlfriend make you happy?
Will being married make you happy?
Will having a million pounds make you happy?
Will being successful make you happy?
Will having better health make you happy?
Will getting a new job make you happy?
Will having a great career make you happy?

If you think the answer is yes to any or all of the above questions, you’ll never find happiness!

Surprised? Well don’t be. The truth is nothing can make you happy. Happiness is something we feel, not something we can find.

Being happy doesn’t depend on a particular outcome or something happening to you. There isn’t somewhere you can go and find happiness sitting there waiting for you.

Advertising of all sorts is designed to make you think that a new car, a particular skin cream, a new outfit, some new shoes, a drink or a new diet will make you happy, but that is simply not true. Nothing can make you happy because happiness is a feeling. Happiness is something you experience.

If you want to be happy, then be happy. Most people don’t choose to be happy because they spend most of their time focusing on what they perceive is wrong with their life.

Think about it, you can’t be happy doing something that you don’t like. If you don’t believe me try it. Try doing something you despise and see if you can be happy at the same time. Trust me, you won’t be happy doing something you don’t enjoy!

You also can’t do something you really enjoy and be sad or angry. Don’t believe me? Try it. See what happens. Go and try doing something you really enjoy and see if you’re angry or miserable at the same time. That really doesn’t work.

Unfortunately, people believe they can be happy when they achieve a particular goal and make the mistake of chasing that goal in order to be happy. It’s really not achieving the goal that makes them happy. It’s the feeling of achieving the goal that provides another feeling, satisfaction perhaps, that is mistaken for happiness.

This mistake is quite common, because it’s not security or peace of mind that makes you happy. You experience happiness when you do what you enjoy and when you focus on the positive things taking place in your life. If you’re not doing that then you can never be happy. Don’t think that you can be happy just by having something.

You can experience happiness by achieving your particular goal, by doing what you enjoy, having fun while achieving your goals and choosing the right goals, the kind that allow you to be happy all the time. Focus on what you want.

Start doing the things that you enjoy. Look at the positive things that are going on in your life. Direct your mind and subconscious mind to help you experience happiness every day. This will start once you begin to appreciate the good things in your life.

Okay so how can you begin to be happy? It’s really quite simple, all you have to do is shift your focus.

Instead of looking at all that is wrong with your life, instead of looking at what you don’t like about yourself or your life; constantly criticising; change your focus. Start appreciating all that is good in your life. You will probably find there are many things you appreciate.

Make a list if you want and write out all of the positive things in your life. Usually someone will say: “Maggie, I can’t think of anything positive or good in my life. I just want to be happy.” That’s only because you are not seeing all the positive things in your life. And so you’ll never be happy.

Every day there are wonderful things taking place in your life, yet you fail to observe and recognise them. You tend to take them for granted. This can be anything – a hot meal, a wonderful spouse, family, a beautiful flower, lambs playing in a field – If you have a roof over your head, that’s a positive aspect of your life.

Start looking at all of the great and terrific things that are going on in your life and you’ll begin to experience happiness on a deeper level. You can begin to improve or change the areas that you are not happy with but at the same time you should acknowledge the good things that are going on in your life.

Your mind is used to only paying attention to what is going wrong and in the process it directs the subconscious mind to continue creating more of those things that are going wrong. You actually create more of what makes you unhappy.

Why?

Because your subconscious creates what you regularly think about. So if you don’t regularly focus on the positive things you won’t create positive situations in your life.

And here’s where it gets worse. When you constantly focus on what is wrong with your life, when you only think about and see what is wrong in your life your subconscious begins to create more of what is wrong or more of what you don’t want because it thinks that you want more.

Now you know why it can be so difficult for some people to truly experience happiness, it’s because they’re used to focusing on the negative aspects of life and in the end continue to create more of what they don’t want.

In order to change all of this you have to begin training the mind and re-directing the subconscious mind to begin creating what you want in life and to focus on the good things that are taking place in your life.

Begin experiencing happiness by changing your focus. Every day think of the positive things that are going on in your life. Make a list of all the wonderful things that are taking place in your life.

Think of at least 3 great things that happened to you, they can be small or large – but just appreciate 3 good things that happened during the day. Focus on the positive. Direct your mind and subconscious mind by changing your perspective so you experience happiness everyday

Too often I hear from people who simply want to be happy but when I ask them what they do for fun they say: “Nothing.” No wonder you’re not happy. How can you be happy if you’re never having fun in life?

If you want to experience happiness then start doing things that you enjoy. You may like gardening; you may like hang gliding, you may like riding your bike, you may enjoy going for long walks, you may enjoy acting like a 5-year old – whatever it is start doing it and see how great you feel.

But there is one catch when you’re doing what you enjoy, you can only focus on that and not think about anything else that may be bothering you. That’s the only way you’ll truly enjoy the activity and begin to experience happiness.

As adults we get bogged down with the everyday tasks that force us to be serious. We have jobs where we’re serious, bills to pay, food to prepare, children to look after, it’s all too serious and it is necessary. I’m not suggesting you ignore your responsibilities – but take some time just to have some fun.

Now you can’t just have fun once a week or once a month. You have to do this every day. It can be for just 5 minutes a day if you like. That means every day you have to find something fun to do, and only then will you get comfortable and used to the process to the point where you regularly experience happiness. Once you start doing this you’ll enjoy it so much you’ll wonder why you never did this to begin with.

If you don’t feel you have the time to have fun and enjoy your life then you’re really saying that your happiness is not important enough. Only when you decide to be happy will you truly begin to experience happiness. You can work with the techniques I’ve outlined – they will help you get started. But you will need to train your mind and subconscious mind to begin seeing and living in a different way.

Maggie Currie

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© Maggie Currie and Maggie Currie Coaching, 2011-2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Maggie Currie and MaggieCurrie.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

December 16, 2014 by Maggie Currie

Fast forward 1 year – what do you see for yourself?

How would you like to see yourself in a year’s time? Would it be the same as now, or with slight changes or a whole new look?

Currently my life is:

My relationship with myself looks pretty good at the moment. I treat myself with respect and gratitude and take notice of the good thoughts, I acknowledge the not so good thoughts and endeavour to take no notice them beyond that.
My thoughts are generally positive but occasionally a negative thought will creep in. This is normal for everyone.
My relationship with my husband is fantastic, we love and respect each other and make each other laugh.
My relationship with my mother is good, we see each other fairly regularly, my father passed away some years ago, but is always in my heart and mind.
My relationship with two of my children is virtually non-existent (their choice which I respect) and with the third it is quite long distance and variable.
My physical health is pretty good, I am slightly overweight and making an effort to change this and I currently feel great.
My finances are reasonably okay, but could of course be a lot better. Bank account is in the black and the cash flow is restricted.
My business world consists of coaching, I am self-employed and an entrepreneur. I am the business.
I am peaceful in my life, asking the Universe for what I want, although I could ask more often. I don’t meditate.
For fun I work at pop festivals and trade by offering Indian head massage to all the punters at the festivals.
I take time for myself every day, even if it is only 5 minutes.

In a year’s time I see for me:

An even better relationship with myself.
Fewer negative thoughts creeping in.
A continuing fantastic relationship with my husband.
A great relationship with my mother.
A better relationship with my daughter.
Better health, less overweight.
Fabulous finances.
Business booming.
Peaceful in life and asking and receiving more from the Universe.
Still enjoying pop festivals.
My third book published.
Taking more time for myself every day.

Take a few moments to think about your future. Is there anything you would like to see differently? What are you prepared to do to bring about those changes?

If you need help get in touch today and we can get a date in the diary for a chat.

Maggie Currie

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© Maggie Currie and Maggie Currie Coaching, 2011-2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Maggie Currie and maggiecurrie.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

November 30, 2014 by Maggie Currie

What are your perceptions and beliefs?

Whether you realise it or not, you are constantly in the process of creating and changing your reality.

You are not truly aware of what someone else’s reality really looks like, and they are not truly aware of what your reality looks like. You are only aware of your own reality and how it looks to you.

Don’t believe me? Take a simple scenario. A road traffic accident, where nobody is hurt, fortunately, when one car hits another car. There are three witnesses. A policeman will ask each witness what he or she saw. There will be three completely different perceptions of the same incident.

For instance, one person might state that they saw the first car brake suddenly, so the driver of the car behind (being far too close in their perception) braked really hard but the car was going too fast and ran into the car in front with a loud bang.

The second person saw the second car approaching the car in front too fast and the driver didn’t appear to even see the car in front and ran straight into it without braking.

The third person witnessed the first car slow down too much so the driver of the car behind (which wasn’t going too fast) couldn’t quite stop in time (though they tried) and hit the car in front really hard.

Three different perceptions of the same accident – each quite ‘real’ to those witnesses – but significantly dissimilar.

How you perceive your life and everything around you will differ dramatically from other people’s perceptions. Your reality is totally unique to you.

How you think about your life, how you see yourself in the mirror, and what you believe is happening to you at any given moment, will be the reality that exists for you.

You’d better believe it!
So what are your beliefs? They are your views, judgments, guiding principles and decisions about yourself, family and friends, communities, organisations, employers and everything else you come into contact with.

Your beliefs filter everything you see, hear and feel around you and, as a result, determine the meaning you attach to any event. Your beliefs act as self-fulfilling prophecies. If you think that you can’t do something and then find it extremely difficult to do and give up trying, you have successfully fulfilled your belief that you can’t do it. What would have happened if you had believed that you could do it? Would your reality have been different?

Your beliefs, whether they be limiting or empowering, determine your actions, and your actions in turn verify your beliefs. Over time, as you collect more evidence to prove your beliefs, your beliefs become your reality.

Your beliefs operate in your subconscious mind and influence your conscious mind, as I mentioned in the previous chapter; they affect your thoughts and behaviour. Whilst you are aware of many of your beliefs, in general, your most influential beliefs are stored away in your subconscious mind.

There are some beliefs you view as absolute truths and never question – that is just the way the world is! A change in your beliefs can have a major impact on how you live your life and the behaviours you manifest.

Once you believe in something, you tend to ignore opposite examples and accept only those events that reinforce that belief.

As Henry Ford, industrialist, said:‘Whether you believe you can or believe you can’t, you are probably right.’

How right he was.

Henry Ford

Do you currently have beliefs that keep your reality comfortable and safe and that prevent you from exploring your true potential? Do you choose to acknowledge only the reality that is predicted by your limiting beliefs and then use these observations as proof that your current reality is indeed true?

Is it time to step out of your comfort zone and set sail into the unknown? To push the boundaries of what you think you know and discover new lands and opportunities – to challenge yourself to create your new reality?

This is an excerpt from my book ‘What you believe creates your reality‘. If anything resonates with you, please buy it, read it, take action………………….change your life.

Maggie Currie

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November 3, 2014 by Maggie Currie

Do you know where your beliefs and values come from?

Whether you realise it or not, you are constantly in the process of creating and changing your reality.

The second person saw the second car approaching the car in front too fast and the driver didn’t appear to even see the car in front and ran straight into it without braking.

Three different perceptions of the same accident – each quite ‘real’ to those witnesses – but significantly dissimilar.

How you perceive your life and everything around you will differ dramatically from other people’s perceptions. Your reality is totally unique to you.

How you think about your life, how you see yourself in the mirror, and what you believe is happening to you at any given moment, will be the reality that exists for you.

So what are your beliefs? They are your views, judgments, guiding principles and decisions about yourself, family and friends, communities, organisations, employers and everything else you come into contact with.

What would have happened if you had believed that you could do it? Would your reality have been different?

Your beliefs operate in your subconscious mind and influence your conscious mind, they affect your thoughts and behaviour. Whilst you are aware of many of your beliefs, in general, your most influential beliefs are stored away in your subconscious mind.

Once you believe in something, you tend to ignore opposite examples and accept only those events that reinforce that belief.

As Henry Ford, industrialist, said: ‘Whether you believe you can or believe you can’t, you are probably right.’

How right he was.

Your beliefs can have a significant effect on your life, particularly your health.

To quote Ian McDermott and Joseph O’Connor, from their book NLP and Health, (Thorsons, 1996), ‘in a typical clinical situation, about thirty-five percent of all cases receive as much pain relief from a placebo as from morphine – simply because the recipients believe it will work.’

That is a very interesting observation isn’t it? The subconscious mind believed it had been given a strong painkiller, and therefore the pain was relieved. This happened because the subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between the truth and anything else it is told.

But what about your beliefs? How can you verify them?

Well, many hundreds of years ago people were told, and believed, that the world was flat. Today there are probably still some people who continue to believe this. It is easy to see how this belief was once so prevalent. Just look at the ground beneath your feet – it’s flat. In the distance you may be able to see a few hills and valleys, but these are just ripples on an otherwise flat surface. All of the land is surrounded by water and it seems quite logical to have once believed that if you sailed far enough you would eventually fall off the edge of the world. Those who set off to sail the seas and never returned were testament to this. Obviously those who did return, just hadn’t sailed far enough!

You will have noticed how this belief proved its own validity. Therefore that reality was true.

The flat-world belief was very useful in explaining and predicting phenomena in a very small area when there were no satellites, there was no television and there were no news broadcasts and no other means of communication other than verbal messages passed from one individual to another. More importantly, it made the people in that localised area feel comfortable and safe in this reality. However, by discouraging wider exploration, it was also a very limiting belief.

But you can challenge this belief and put your life ‘at risk’. You can let go of the limiting belief of a flat world and explore other possibilities. You can entertain new and more expansive beliefs, which other people may view as equally limiting or indeed as impossible. All these beliefs are equally valid.

Does that sound like something you would like to experience? I work with clients face-t0-face, on the phone and via Skype. The choice is yours. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose. Contact me today for a free chat on how we can start moving you from a place that is not so great in your life to a place of enjoyment.

Maggie Currie

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October 14, 2014 by Maggie Currie

Are you really conscious of your thoughts?

You are constantly barraged, from the minute you open your eyes and ears in the morning until the minute you close your eyes and ears at night, with information – facts and figures, fiction, half-truths, music, news, stories, half-heard conversations, pictures and images. This information comes from parents, siblings, relatives, newspapers, magazines, school, college, university, colleagues, television, radio, advertising posters, books, magazines, films, fellow passengers, articles – the list is endless. And this has been happening since the day you were born.

You would be surprised at how much information you absorb each week.

To prove just how much information you absorb each week and from how many sources, make a list of all the publications you read, the television programmes you regularly watch, the newspapers you subscribe to, the radio broadcasts you listen to and so on.

Are you surprised at the length of your list?

How much of that information that you have listed do you think is having a positive effect on your life? Make a note in your notebook.

How much do you think is having a negative effect on your life? Again, make a note.

I bet the second list is far longer than the first.

You filter all the information you receive (whether you realise it or not) and you think you either store it away for future use (you believe it) or discard it as useless (you choose not to believe it). But, unbeknown to you, your subconscious mind will store all the information away, just in case, whether, in your conscious mind, you think you believe it or not. Your subconscious mind has remembered everything you have ever seen or heard since the minute you were born. Your subconscious mind has very kindly done this for you without you even knowing.

Think about it, you see a poster flash by you and the information on that poster is absorbed into your mind in an instant. You may not even have realised that the information has been registered. So what you believe today could be entirely based on something you read on that poster this morning. Alternatively your beliefs could be based on something that is hidden deep down in your subconscious mind that you thought you had forgotten about, but in actual fact it has been lurking there for many years, thanks to your subconscious mind.

Still don’t believe me?

Well let’s take an example – it is possible that when you started infant school you could have been told by your very first teacher, when you were just five years old, that you would find it difficult to keep up with your school work because, at the grand old age of five, you couldn’t sit still for more than ten minutes, and therefore you were perceived as not paying attention. Although we all know that it is possible for you to have been walking around and still listening to the teacher. That teacher labelled you, at that very young age, as non-attentive. Now this belief has been stored away in your subconscious mind for many years, whether you realise it or not, and it is quite possible that, because of this stored information, you did find it difficult to keep up. You were told it, you believed it and you made it a reality.

But what if that teacher had known that because you were only five years old it was entirely possible that you could listen as well as fidget, and that teacher had never made the negative comment in the first place? Your subconscious mind would not have been able to store that information away for many years because it would have been totally unaware. Would you have even thought that you couldn’t keep up with the school work? And would it have become a reality? I think not.

What if you had been told by that same teacher, when you were the grand old age of five, that you were very talented and that you would have absolutely no trouble at all learning? Would your reality have been different?

Yes it would! You would have found it easy to keep up with your schoolwork because you believed that you were talented and had no trouble learning and therefore your reality would have been totally different.

So whether you like to believe it or not, your subconscious mind rules your reality.

What a thought!

Maggie’s note: I was told when I was at school, at the ripe old age of eleven, that I was average and would never be clever and that I would be better off going to a comprehensive school rather than a high school, as I probably wouldn’t be able to keep up with the work. I was sent to a private school, all girls, because my parents didn’t want me to go to a comprehensive school (what would the neighbours think?) and left at age 16 with excellent exam passes in commerce, typewriting, shorthand, office arithmetic, accounts, office practice and English. I started work as a shorthand typist with a large insurance company in London and within four years was a personal secretary for a department head and supervisor of the typing pool. I wasn’t average at all, but my teachers had assessed me as average.

Does this resonate with you? What are your experiences where you have been labelled?

Maggie Currie

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