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Do you look good on the outside, but inside you are crumbling?

Wouldn’t it feel wonderful to get beyond these feelings to a calmer and more positive place. What if you could…

  • Overcome your fears and anxieties?
  • Gain the courage to make a change?
  • Get on with enjoying your life?
  • Unlock your inner strengths?
  • Put your own needs first?
  • Be a survivor not a victim?

THIS IS NOT SOME UNACHIEVABLE DREAM. I’M GOING TO HELP YOU MAKE IT HAPPEN.

Picture this. In 2 1/2 days you’ll be feeling like a new you. You’ll have reconnected with your inner confidence and feel able to survive the challenges and obstacles that you face in your life.

You will have developed a new found energy, and you will have a spring in your step.

You’ll be on track to change your situation and live the life you want.

IN OTHER WORDS, IN JUST 2 1/2 DAYS, YOUR LIFE WILL BE TURNED AROUND.

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I am running two retreats, one for women and one for men, here on the Isle of Wight.

The S.E.L.F. Retreat for women, and The L.I.F.E. Retreat for men.

 

I’M HERE TO HELP YOU

I want you to know that it is possible to make a change; that no situation, no matter how desperate, is insurmountable.

As Napoleon Hill says, “Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.”

So, if you’re serious about moving on from your feelings of anxiety and despair, now’s the time to take action.

I’ve designed this Retreat for you – the person who is struggling to live life on your own terms and is finally ready to turn things around.

I’m here to help you be a survivor.

Stop making the same vague wish (“I hope my life finally takes off this year”) every single birthday.

One of these Retreats is for you if you’re finally ready to make a positive change and be a survivor, not a victim.

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WHICHEVER RETREAT YOU CHOOSE, I AM GIVING YOU:

  • The tools you need to recharge yourself and your confidence in yourself in a supportive and non-judgmental environment.
  • The knowledge you need to survive following a life trauma – divorce, redundancy, overwhelm, loss.
  • My knowledge and the resources I have accumulated over many years of research, trial and error and failure, and of course successes.
  •  A stay in a beautiful Victorian mansion so close to the beach you will have sand in your shoes. (Situated a 20 minute walk from the Hovercraft and Wightlink Fastcat passenger terminals. No need to bring your car across.  I can even arrange for you to  be collected from the ferry or hovercraft and bring you to the venue.)
  • The focus on you to get to know and love your real SELF.
Plus I am giving you:
 
  • A buffet style continental breakfast each morning.
  •  Your own chef preparing, cooking and serving your lunches and dinners each day on site.
  •  Unlimited refreshments throughout each day.
  •  Your own welcome pack to keep.
  •  Some top notch surprise guest speakers and coaches to add to your experience.
  •  Our own private Facebook group for continued support.
  •  A one to one coaching session with me.

YOU will find the solutions you are looking for. Forget all the imagined reasons why you think it won’t work for you.  Believe the one reason why it will!

Find out more about the Retreat of your choice by clinking on the appropriate link:

The S.E.L.F. Retreat

The L.I.F.E. Retreat

The investment per person is £749.00 all inclusive.  No hidden costs. Everything is provided, just bring yourself.

Don’t think of cost, think of the value to you and your life.

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RESULTS

I’ve been working with clients as a thought leader and survival coach for the past 10 years to help them overcome stress, anxiety and life trauma.

I helped one client to change their career from one they hated to one they loved.

Another client came to me with anxiety associated with confrontation and low self-esteem.  She is now leading a whole team of people and confident in her abilities.

I also helped a client who was suffering from very low self-esteem to realise her full potential and she is now blossoming running her own business.

Don’t just take my word for it!

“Maggie has an instant relaxing mentality rarely found in people, backed with a genuine empathy for people. Maggie has the mark of calm, leaving you feeling relaxed and at peace. Maggie’s knowledge and style leaves clients and fellow professionals wanting more of her work. Maggie is just one of those people with a gift and the world is blessed with her use of them.”
– DU, UK (Male)

“Maggie has great experience of dealing with life situations in a positive way. I have seen people grow within themselves during several of her presentations and seminars. She deals with people in a non-judgemental and constructive way, whilst challenging them to look at their view of them selves and to re-evaluate their own self-worth.” – KC, UK (Male)

“Maggie assisted me through a challenging time in my life. She is able to combine a no nonsense approach with genuine empathy to her coaching work and shares her knowledge generously. She holds you accountable for outcomes in a warm and caring manner. Being coached by Maggie was such a pleasure. I always looked forward to those sessions with anticipation. Maggie is able to hold your space in a non-judgemental manner which gives you the confidence to move forward. I certainly recommend her as a coach.” – TZ, South Africa (Female)

“I used to get irritated whenever you would say ‘why can’t you do that?’ or ‘why do you think that?’. But now I see that by questioning my thinking you have broadened my outlook and I can actually achieve more than I ever thought. In fact the other day I was faced with a challenge, and my initial thought was I need to get someone in to do this for me. Then I stopped and thought of you and it came to me that I can do it. And do you know what, I did it and it worked out very well.” – IM, UK (Male)

SO ASK YOURSELF, WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT FROM YOUR LIFE? WHAT DO YOU WISH YOUR LIFE COULD BE LIKE? AND HOW READY ARE YOU TO MAKE A CHANGE, ONCE AND FOR ALL? 

Book your place today……..There are only 10 places available for each Retreat.

The S.E.L.F. Retreat

The L.I.F.E. Retreat

Grant yourself the freedom to START LIVING.

Can’t wait to see you there!

Maggie Currie

Thought Leader, Speaker, Author, Survivor
Contributor to BBC Radio, Vectis Radio, Susan Rich Radio
Published author and regularly write articles for national and international magazines.
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Find out more about me on my website.
 
P.S. Here are just a few testimonials from my previous workshops/courses/seminars:

 
“Thanks Maggie, I have your book in my bag and the collage I made at your workshop, when I look at it, it gives me the confidence to carry on. I can’t thank you enough for that workshop, it was great.” Maggie J
 
“Maggie always brings a refreshing energy to any situation. She truly enjoys helping others to live the life they deserve!” Teri H
 
“Maggie helped me to make one big decision that led to another, and another, and another – and that’s how my life changed for the better!” Jane L
 
“Maggie makes the toughest challenges seem simple. Always exceeds my expectations.” Wendy W
 
“I have done really well since your workshop. I decided that it was OK to give up being self employed because there is too much going on elsewhere it is not serving me well. I have successfully applied for a surveyors job at xxxxxxx and been offered a very good package. I have accepted and start in November part time until I finish all my jobs and then full time by 2015. I am really pleased to say the least. It was very helpful to go somewhere for some “me” time. Thank you! ” Peter M
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Give yourself permission to simply be

I have discovered that frequently the elation that we feel when we have learned an important lesson, achieved a goal, or had a huge breakthrough can be met with a period of downtime afterward. During this time of transition, we may feel unsure and not know where to turn next, we may have feelings of lack of self worth and self doubt.

I know that during this period of downtime, we may begin to wonder what our life is about, what our purpose is, will life get better?  These feelings are very common and we all feel them from time to time. If this resonates with you, just remember you are not alone.

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Often, we feel best when we are working on a project or vigorously pursuing a goal. We are engaged in the process of achieving, planning, doing.  But there is nothing inherently wrong with spending a day, a week or even a month, simply existing and not having a plan. Just being.  This time is just as valuable and helps to rebuild our stocks of energy, ideas etc.

I know that I have found sometimes the quiet lull between ideas, projects, and goals can make life appear empty. I know there are some people who, after accomplishing one objective, want to move immediately on to the next.

However, we are all different.  When you find that your next step is unclear, it is quite natural to feel frustrated, or disconnected or even a mild depression.

To help calm what can be distressing thoughts, learn to accept that you will continue to grow as an individual whether you are striving for a specific objective or not. Just be. Use all the time you need to think about what you have recently gone through and leisurely contemplate what you wish to do next.

You may also find that in simply being and going through the motions of everyday life, you reconnect with your priorities in a very organic, unforced way.

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I have found that this transition time is different all the time. It can be a period of reflection or a period of adjustment where new values based on recent changes can be integrated.

Just because you have temporarily lost sight of a final destination, doesn’t mean you should assume that you have lost your drive. Where you are going next will become apparent at the right time for you.

I would love to hear from you about your experiences of simply being. Get in touch today.

 

Maggie Currie

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Taking time for YOU!

My clients often tell me that one of the added benefits of coaching with me, that they hadn’t considered before they started, is that their hour and a half session can often be the only time in a busy week that they feel able to step back and truly focus 100% on themselves.  Hand on heart, how often could you say that you allow yourself to do that?

A lot of the time we get so busy ‘doing’ that we forget about ‘being’.

This was a revelation of sorts for me some years back.  I had something fantastically inspiring to aim for, I had the focus and drive to work really hard and I was making good progress.  And yet, I wound up feeling ill, stressed and fairly disillusioned.  If this was what having stretching goals was about, I wasn’t sure I wanted them after all!

Talking through how I felt with a friend one day, I was brought up short when she said “oh yes, you’ve become a human doing instead of a human being” and I thought about that all the way home.

teenage depression - teen woman sitting thinking

As I reflected on the previous few months I could think of few times when I wasn’t ‘doing’ and even fewer times when I’d consciously decided to take time out and just be.

So, how much of your time do you spend ‘doing’ and how much do you spend ‘being’?   If you had to divide a circle up with how much time you give over to each? What would it look like?  How big would your ‘being’ slice be?

With our busy lives and time-poor society it can seem impossible to take more time for ourselves, but at what cost do you choose not to?  My decision those few years back was to invest more time in myself, and I’m certain that I’m much more productive as a result.  I get more done in my ‘doing’ time now than I ever did when I was ‘doing’ every waking second of the day.  Plus, my ultimate decision was that it couldn’t all be about the doing and the destination or I’d miss the journey altogether.

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So what time could you make for yourself to just be?  When could you next set aside an hour or two, a whole day or even more than that to relax and recharge?  How much better would you feel if you did?

Could you do with some regular time set aside to focus 100% on you and on making your life how you want it?  Have you got so lost in the process of life, that you have forgotten who you are?

I can help you with focusing on you and learning to be.  Contact me today and we can have a chat on how it will work.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves so that they can have more fun, live a better life and enjoy their work.

 

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Do you have feelings of inadequacy? I know I do.

Sometimes I have feelings of inadequacy and of not being good enough. I am not sure where they come from, but I sometimes wake up feeling that way.

I remember one occasion, I went to a breakfast business networking meeting, one I go to every Thursday morning at 7am, which means getting up at 5am to be showered and dressed ready to set off for business by 6.15am at the latest. Then a 10 mile drive.

Usually these meetings are full of energy and fun and are a pleasure to be at, but on this day it was a little different. One of our members had split with her significant other and moved off the Island and is now living with her parents on the mainland. This person will be sadly missed as she is vibrant, honest, straight talking and fun. So there was an air of sadness that she had suddenly gone. There were also some people there who were revelling in this news and making stupid comments, which I tried to ignore, as they were so unnecessary, and I thought it was shameful. I said nothing as I didn’t want to get into a stupid argument.

When the meeting finished I took some items to the DHL drop point to send around the world, as I do several times a week with my secretarial business. This should have taken about twenty minutes but ended up taking nearly an hour because the computer system wouldn’t let them put in the address and postcode I had for one item going to China, and a call to the helpdesk was needed, and this took forever. The lady who served me is also one of those people I try to avoid as she drains all the energy from me and is very critical of everyone and every thing. So instead of getting back to my office by 9am to get stuck into my work, I didn’t get back until nearly 10.30 and then I was all behind and annoyed that things didn’t work out.

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I sat and thought about what it was that was making me feel inadequate. Not the fact that I was late getting back to the office. Not the fact that we had lost a great member of our networking group. So what was it? And then it came to me. The night before I had been talking on a fabulous phone call with two other coaches. The creativity and ideas were flowing from them, and what brilliant ideas they were. I am in awe of their power to think these things through so easily and clearly. So, I believe that I was feeling inadequate because I had absolutely nothing to add to these two brilliant coaches’ thoughts and ideas. They had done their homework fantastically and presented their ideas and innovations in clear and concise ways, and they were great ideas and I know they will work.

I feel that my strengths lie elsewhere, but at that particular moment I wasn’t sure where. I hate feeling this way and it makes me really upset to think this way. I know that I am a brilliant coach and that I do make a huge difference to people’s lives and that I will continue to do so. Having written all this I felt much better and know that I have a lot to offer but not necessarily in the same way as other people. I also know that I should not compare myself to other people, that is definitely a confidence killer.

Your life does not resemble anybody else's

So, to re-boot my confidence I have written a list of my creativity and innovativity (is that a word?) and here is the list I have come up with:

My creativity

  • Superb coach
  • Brilliant cook
  • Expert typist – Can set out a document by eye, and it will look great on the page.
  • Brilliant writer and author
  • Fabulously intuitive
  • Do my accounts satisfactorily
  • Create a good workspace
  • Create opportunities for clients
  • Create opportunities to get clients
  • Great supporter
  • Impactful
  • Great teacher
  • Create achievable goals for my clients and for myself

My Innovativity

  • Build relationships online and in person
  • Think up new ways for my clients to succeed
  • Find new ways for me to succeed
  • Lead by example
  • Positive and encouraging to all
  • Hear beyond the words

If this hits home to you then please feel free to contact me. You are not alone. I would love to talk with you and help you to learn how to be more confident in yourself. As we all know, life is a school and we are constantly learning. I really do look forward to hearing from you with your lists of creativity and innovativity.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves so that they can have more fun, live a better life and enjoy their work. Get in touch today for a free informal chat on how I can help you.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

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Listening to my own advice – a well earned break

It was 4am last Sunday when the alarm clock roused me from a deep sleep.  I had to get up and get ready to catch a ferry to the mainland at 6.45am.  But first, the caravan needed to be retrieved from the farm where it is stored, about 12 miles away.

Bleary eyed I showered and dressed, made a hot drink and set about loading up the van with the stuff we needed for our short break.  I had catered for our trip with food for our breakfasts, some lunches and some dinners.  We would be eating out in the evening on at least one occasion.

So off we went to hitch up the caravan and set off to catch the ferry.

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Everything went to plan, the four sets of gates on the farm were still firmly closed.  We managed to negotiate all of them, closing them behind us.  Arrived at the ferry terminal with time to spare.  Feeling hungry now, looking forward to a hearty breakfast on the ferry.

On arrival at the mainland we disembarked and set off for Redhill aerodrome for the first of our planned excursions, a flight over London in a helicopter.  The sun was shining, there were loads of people watching the planes and helicopters taking off and landing.  There was the danger of low cloud and rain coming in from the west, but that was going to be later on in the day.  Our flight was going ahead, but it was going to be the last one of the day as the pilot had to get the helicopter back to it’s home before the weather changed.

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The flight was glorious and over too quickly.  We flew over the Gherkin, the Shard, saw HMS Illustrious on her tour around the UK before she is scrapped.  There were tiny cows in the fields, weeny people playing golf (I never knew there were so many golf courses in London). And all too soon we were heading back to Redhill.  The helicopter was flying at 125 mph, but it didn’t feel like it.  It was comfortable, enjoyable and I loved it.  My husband loved it too, which is just as well as it was his anniversary present from me.

We landed back at Redhill and collected our van and caravan and set off to find out caravan pitch for the next few days.  We travelled back to Winchester which was to be our base.  The certified site was fabulous.  It was a small farm with a few horses, there were five pitches and that was it.  We had electric hook up and water.  We were set.  The farmer and his wife were lovely and couldn’t have been more helpful.  They found us telephone numbers for local taxis and made us feel really welcome.

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I cooked a roast chicken, roast potatoes and vegetables for our dinner and it was lovely to just sit and watch the horses whilst enjoying our evening meal.

The next day we planned to go to Southampton as we had tickets for the Rocky Horror Show.  We left around 11am and took a taxi to the station and got a train to Southampton station.  The free bus took us to West Quay shopping centre.  We had lunch in the John Lewis restaurant with some wine, since we weren’t driving anywhere.  A wander around the shopping centre reminded me how much I dislike shopping.  We had several cups of coffee during the afternoon and then set off to catch the free bus back to Southampton Station. Over the bridge and a short walk away is the Mayflower Theatre where we had a table booked for our evening meal.

A lovely meal it was too.  It was delicious, presented beautifully and the service was great.  Ready now for the Rocky Horror Show. We have seen the film several times, and seen a stage version many years ago.  Would it be good, would it the same?

No it wasn’t the same, it was even better. The whole thing was full of energy.  There were a lot of the members of the audience dressed up as various characters from the show and a lot of interaction between the audience and the narrator, who was Philip Franks.

Thoroughly enjoyed it, the audience was up and dancing and the atmosphere was brilliant.  Then we walked back to the station and got a train back to Winchester and taxi back to our caravan.

The next day we went to the Wimbledon Museum, my Christmas present.  A trip around the museum and going on to Centre Court and Court No. 1. Taxi to the station, train to Wimbledon and, because it was raining, a taxi to the Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club.

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Of course it rained, as you would expect at Wimbledon.  We were taken around a large part of the site, into the covered walkways between Centre Court and Court No. 1.  Past the players’ restaraunt, through the players’ reception area.  Onto Court No. 1.  We were not allowed anywhere near the grass, it had it’s own security guard to make sure nobody touched it.  It was of course pristine.  The edges were perfectly shaped, the grass trimmed to perfection.  We sat in the press seats and could see all around.

Then we went to Centre Court.  Again not allowed anywhere near the grass, which also had it’s own security guard.  We were allowed to sit in the press seats again, and we could see the BBC commentary box – basically a portacabin – where people like John McEnroe, Boris Becker et al describe the action.

There is a 360 degree pod on Centre Court where you can get an all round view of the stadium.  It is removed for Wimbledon fortnight for obvious reasons.

We dined in the restaurant and of course had to have strawberries and cream. Well it would have been rude not to whilst at Wimbledon.  A visit to the museum revealed some fascinating facts and showed the clothes women used to wear whilst playing, including their bustles.

Back on the train to Winchester. This time I cooked spaghetti bolognese for our evening meal.  Mmmmmm.

Our final trip was to a brewery and winery near Henley.  We drove there this time.  I agreed to drive back as it was my hubby’s Christmas present.  So I tasted a soft drink whilst he tasted the wines, beers and liqueurs.

First a trip around the brewing processes, learning how they mix the hops with the gloop for the beer, and how they harvest the grapes and press them and bottle them ready to sell.

Very interesting indeed and of course there was the tasting of half a dozen wines, several beers and a few liqueurs.  A very enjoyable couple of hours.  I drove back to Winchester and we enjoyed our evening meal of pie and chips.

Thursday we set off for home.

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A very enjoyable few days fitting in our various trips and making use of our caravan for the first time this year.  It will have several more outings in June, July and August and it will be going as far afield as Scotland, Henley and Manchester.

I have learned to practice what I teach and coach, and that is to have time for myself.  If you find that difficult, then we can work together on that.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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What makes a very good relationship last?

I believe a good relationship is based on trust, love, respect, listening, learning, giving and taking.  Communication of course is essential.  If you don’t communicate effectively with each other, then the relationship will fail. Whether the relationship is a marriage or a friendship, those bases have to be covered or the relationship will not flourish.

I have been married to my husband for 29 years and we love each deeply.  We also trust each other implicitly.  I always listen to what my husband has to say, and mostly he listens to what I have to say.  We don’t always agree, but we respect each other’s opinion.  There is also the factor of knowing that we are there for each other to support and encourage in low times and to praise and celebrate with each other in the high times.  We each know that we can depend upon each other no matter what.  Our communication works, we are honest with each other and there are no secrets (with the exception of birthday and Christmas presents of course).

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I have very few good friends who I would trust with my life.  But those I do have know that equally they can trust me with their lives.  I have one friend in particular who I have known since I was 9 years old.  We are good friends.  We live hundreds of miles apart, but we manage to get together at least once a year and to keep in touch via email and social media.  We love each other as friends, trust and respect each other, learn from each other even now after all these years.

I have a good relationship with my mother, this has not always been the case, but I have learned that we do love each other, respect each other’s opinions and although we live about two hours away from each other, we communicate via phone every so often and I visit her many times a year. She is going to be 90 this year, still lives in her own home, and is surprisingly spritely for her age.

Here are some tips to help make your relationship last:

  • Be honest with each other. If you have made a mistake then admit it, apologise. Don’t let your ego get in the way.
  • If your partner makes a mistake and apologises, is it always their fault? Did they know what you expected of them? Was your communication clear? If not, can you take responsibility and admit that?
  • Say I love you to your partner or friend and mean it. They will be feeling on top of the world because they feel loved and wanted.  This will reflect back on you and make you feel the same.
  • Say thank you. That has a similar effect to saying I love you. Being appreciated means so much in a relationship.
  • Don’t forget that you are still your own person and your partner or friend is still their own person.  Have your own set of friends that you can go out with now and again, without your partner.  Being together all the time can be very suffocating and can cause damage to a relationship.
  • Share your secrets. Know the trivial things about your partner that nobody else knows.

If you don’t have a good relationship with someone, is there something missing? Do you trust each other, respect each other, listen to each other, learn from each other and love each other?

Four Women Friends at the Beach

The best part I find of being in a relationship is that I am not in it alone.  I have someone to love, to work with and work things out with.

No relationship is perfect, it would be terribly boring if it were.  But you are in the relationship with someone you love and who loves you. Cuddle your partner when you go to sleep at night – there is nothing more comforting than having a loving pair of arms around you when you go to sleep and when you wake in the morning.

All of these things will help to make a good relationship last.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves, and I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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I am bored, what can I do?

Boredom for me was when I knew that I had to get up and out of my bed to go to the office to do a job that I really didn’t want to do, I could do it in my sleep, and I was not appreciated for doing it.  Not only that, I had to commute 2 hours each way.  I was bored with waiting at bus stops in the rain, with getting on trains with standing room only, with walking through the streets of London in the cold and wet.   I found it very difficult to motivate myself to go to work, and when I got there I would go through the motions, do a great job of course, and then be pleased to go home. I would watch the clock all day long and be constantly thinking about when my next day off was or when I could go on holiday.

Stressed Businesswoman

I decided, after some thought, that I would rather work for myself, and I looked around for what I could do. My attention was drawn to helping people to get out of ruts, to change their lives and I investigated several  possibilities and decided on life coaching.

I began with an online course through a college, taking two courses to gain a diploma in life coaching. I discovered that I loved coaching and that I was very good at it too. I went on to study with a large coaching organisation, followed by a smaller coaching organisation, qualified as an NLP practitioner and most recently an online coaching school based in U.S.A. as an emotion based coach.

These are my qualifications that I have achieved:

  • Distance Tutoring
  • Life Coach
  • Corporate & Executive Coach
  • Advanced Confidence Coach/Group Trainer
  • Licensed YOU University Coach 
  • Licensed NLP Practitioner
  • Sports Psychology
  • Disability Awareness
  • PTLLS (Professional Teaching Award B Tech level 4)
  • TEFL/TESOL (120 hours) (Teaching English as a Foreign Language)
  • Thought Field Therapy Practitioner
  • Indian Head Massage Practitioner

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My decision to retrain and work for myself has paid off tremendously for me. I have never looked back.  And there are some great benefits for me too:

  • My boss rocks and lets me do whatever I want!
  • My commute is less than 30 seconds, unless I stop by the kitchen for a coffee.
  • I have the ability to transform millions of people’s lives and still be in my pyjamas.

So with coffee and this ability I have become unstoppable.  And you can too.

Is there something or someone in your life that you can identify as creating the boredom in your life? If so what is it?

 If you are bored what are you going to do about it?

 Now you can ask yourself that question again – I’m bored what can I do?

  • Listen to the voices in your head, write down the answers you hear on a piece of paper as they pop into your head.
  • Study those answers.
  • Research some of the answers and see if they really resonate with you.

If you start to spend your life doing what excites you, you will find a solution to your boredom, I can assure you.

And if you need help finding that solution, contact me and we can work together to find your solution.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Is the feeling of fear real?

The feeling of fear. What is it? Can you describe it?

When I ask this of myself and others, the replies are the thoughts people have about fear and not a description of the “feeling” of fear.

That is not unexpected, after all it is the left brain’s, rational/analytical job to put into words feelings that arise from somewhere in our bodies, the subconscious.

Instinct, intuition, imagination and everything else that’s in the right brain doesn’t generally speak to us.

The subconscious mind speaks and thinks in pictures, senses and sensations, urges, vibrations, waves, patterns, connections and possibly in other intangible ways.

So when you talk about fear you are actually talking about your thinking.  You are talking about the mind’s attempt to translate your physiological responses through thought and language and how it tries to make rational sense.

emotionalwoman

I believe your emotions are just that, authentic feelings being expressed in thought.  And fear is just such an emotion.

That’s what is making me think that fear doesn’t really exist in any other dimension of our being.  I believe it is possible that there is no such thing as fear outside of the subconscious mind. That the feeling of fear is not real. The case has been made in the past that fear is necessary for self-preservation. But is it?

The fight or flight survival response is an occurrence that happens without thought. It really doesn’t have the time to be otherwise.  Look at something you are ‘scared of’, a spider, a bear, a clown. Do you feel fear or are you thinking fear?

If you were to walk around the corner and come face to face with a huge grizzly bear, you would definitely feel something right away.  But is that feeling fear?

If you listen to people who have encountered survival situations, whether they be stopping someone falling off a cliff, ripping the door off a burning car, disarming a man with a knife, they will say their sense in that moment was not fear. They were too busy with their actions.

Fear after the act, yes.

We have all felt that thing that our mind has labelled fear. But is that what it really is?

Maybe not.

FEAR =

 False

Expectations

Appearing

Real

Think about the interview scenario:  You are sitting waiting to go into the room, you think ‘what if there are ten people on the panel’, ‘what if they ask me questions I can’t answer’, ‘what if they are all wearing suits’.

What are you actually afraid of?  You are not afraid of the panel, you are not afraid of the questions, you are not afraid of the suits.  You are not afraid of the reality, but of the negative expectation, or thoughts, of what you imagine might happen next.

 New for 2013. From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again

But if any of those things did really upset you that much, you would take flight and there really wouldn’t be any thought involved at all.  Your intuition and instinct rule your fight or flight response.  Only 2% of our fears actually occur, the other 98% are just imagined.

Trust in your intuition and don’t let false expectations drive your life.

Do you want to remain stuck and miserable with the fear of making changes in your life? 

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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We each have our own perceptions and beliefs – and so we should!

Whether you realise it or not, you are constantly in the process of creating and changing your reality.
You are not truly aware of what someone else’s reality really looks like, and they are not truly aware of what your reality looks like. You are only aware of your own reality and how it looks to you. 

Don’t believe me?  Take a simple scenario.  A road traffic accident, where nobody is hurt, fortunately, when one car hits another car.  There are three witnesses.  A policeman will ask each witness what he or she saw.  There will be three completely different perceptions of the same incident.

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 For instance, one person might state that they saw the first car brake suddenly, so the driver of the car behind (being far too close in their perception) braked really hard but the car was going too fast and ran into the car in front with a loud bang. 

The second person saw the second car approaching the car in front too fast and the driver didn’t appear to even see the car in front and ran straight into it without braking. 

The third person witnessed the first car slow down too much so the driver of the car behind (which wasn’t going too fast) couldn’t quite stop in time (though they tried) and hit the car in front really hard.

 Three different perceptions of the same accident – each quite ‘real’ to those witnesses – but significantly dissimilar. 

 How you perceive your life and everything around you will differ dramatically from other people’s perceptions.  Your reality is totally unique to you.

How you think about your life, how you see yourself in the mirror, and what you believe is happening to you at any given moment, will be the reality that exists for you.

 So what are your beliefs?  They are your views, judgements, guiding principles and decisions about yourself, family and friends, communities, organisations, employers and everyone and everything else you come into contact with.

 Your beliefs filter everything you see, hear and feel around you and, as a result, determine the meaning you attach to any event. Your beliefs act as self-fulfilling prophecies.

If you think that you can’t do something and then find it extremely difficult to do and give up trying, you have successfully fulfilled your belief that you can’t do it.  What would have happened if you had believed that you could do it?  Would your reality have been different?

Your beliefs, whether they be limiting or empowering, determine your actions, and your actions in turn verify your beliefs. Over time, as you collect more evidence to prove your beliefs, your beliefs become your reality.

Your beliefs operate in your subconscious mind and influence your conscious mind, they affect your thoughts and behaviour. Whilst you are aware of many of your beliefs, in general, your most influential beliefs are stored away in your subconscious mind.

There are some beliefs you view as absolute truths and never question – that is just the way the world is! A change in your beliefs can have a major impact on how you live your life and the behaviours you manifest.

Once you believe in something, you tend to ignore opposite examples and accept only those events that reinforce that belief.

 flat world

As Henry Ford, industrialist, said: ‘Whether you believe you can or believe you can’t, you are probably right.’ How right he was.

Do you currently have beliefs that keep your reality comfortable and safe and that prevent you from exploring your true potential? 

Do you choose to acknowledge only the reality that is predicted by your limiting beliefs and then use these observations as proof that your current reality is indeed true? 

Is it time to step out of your comfort zone and set sail into the unknown?  To push the boundaries of what you think you know and discover new lands and opportunities – to challenge yourself to create your new reality?

Make a note of the limiting beliefs you are aware of.  Really give this some thought.  You will probably find a lot more than you originally thought if you keep delving deeper into your thoughts.

 I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Taking time for YOU!

My clients often tell me that one of the added benefits of having coaching with me, that they hadn’t considered before they started, is that their coaching sessions can often be the only time in their busy week that they feel able to step back and truly focus 100% on themselves.  Be honest, how often could you say that you allow yourself to do just that?

A lot of the time we get so busy ‘doing’ that we forget about ‘being’.

windowcleaning

This was a revelation of sorts for me some years back.  I had something fantastically inspiring to aim for.  I had the focus, I had the drive to work really hard, and I was making good progress.  And yet, I ended up feeling ill, stressed and fairly disillusioned.  I began to think that if this was what having stretching goals was about, I wasn’t sure I wanted them after all!

Talking through how I felt with a good friend one day, I was brought up short when she said “oh yes, you’ve become a ‘human doing’ instead of a ‘human being'”.  I thought about that all the way home.

As I reflected on the previous few months, I could think of very few times when I wasn’t ‘doing’ and even fewer times when I’d consciously decided to take time out and ‘just be’.

How much of your time do you spend ‘doing’ and how much do you spend ‘being’?  If you had to divide a circle up with how much time you give over to each, what would it look like?  How big would your ‘being’ slice be? Be absolutely honest with yourself.

piechart

With our busy lives and time-poor society it can seem nearly impossible to take more time for ourselves, but at what cost do we choose not to?  My decision those few years back was to invest more time in myself, and I’m certain that I’m more productive as a result.  I get more done in my ‘doing’ time now than I ever did when I was ‘doing’ every waking second of the day.  Plus, my ultimate decision was that it couldn’t all be about the doing and the destination or I’d miss the journey altogether.

So as we roll into the next season, what time can you make for yourself to just ‘be’?  When can you next set aside an hour or two, a whole day or even more than that, to relax and recharge?  Imagine how much better you will feel when you do?

Could you do with some regular time set aside to focus 100% on you and on making your life how you want it?

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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