Sometimes I have feelings of inadequacy and of not being good enough. I am not sure where they come from, but I sometimes wake up feeling that way.
I remember one occasion, I went to a breakfast business networking meeting, one I go to every Thursday morning at 7am, which means getting up at 5am to be showered and dressed ready to set off for business by 6.15am at the latest. Then a 10 mile drive.
Usually these meetings are full of energy and fun and are a pleasure to be at, but on this day it was a little different. One of our members had split with her significant other and moved off the Island and is now living with her parents on the mainland. This person will be sadly missed as she is vibrant, honest, straight talking and fun. So there was an air of sadness that she had suddenly gone. There were also some people there who were revelling in this news and making stupid comments, which I tried to ignore, as they were so unnecessary, and I thought it was shameful. I said nothing as I didn’t want to get into a stupid argument.
When the meeting finished I took some items to the DHL drop point to send around the world, as I do several times a week with my secretarial business. This should have taken about twenty minutes but ended up taking nearly an hour because the computer system wouldn’t let them put in the address and postcode I had for one item going to China, and a call to the helpdesk was needed, and this took forever. The lady who served me is also one of those people I try to avoid as she drains all the energy from me and is very critical of everyone and every thing. So instead of getting back to my office by 9am to get stuck into my work, I didn’t get back until nearly 10.30 and then I was all behind and annoyed that things didn’t work out.
I sat and thought about what it was that was making me feel inadequate. Not the fact that I was late getting back to the office. Not the fact that we had lost a great member of our networking group. So what was it? And then it came to me. The night before I had been talking on a fabulous phone call with two other coaches. The creativity and ideas were flowing from them, and what brilliant ideas they were. I am in awe of their power to think these things through so easily and clearly. So, I believe that I was feeling inadequate because I had absolutely nothing to add to these two brilliant coaches’ thoughts and ideas. They had done their homework fantastically and presented their ideas and innovations in clear and concise ways, and they were great ideas and I know they will work.
I feel that my strengths lie elsewhere, but at that particular moment I wasn’t sure where. I hate feeling this way and it makes me really upset to think this way. I know that I am a brilliant coach and that I do make a huge difference to people’s lives and that I will continue to do so. Having written all this I felt much better and know that I have a lot to offer but not necessarily in the same way as other people. I also know that I should not compare myself to other people, that is definitely a confidence killer.
So, to re-boot my confidence I have written a list of my creativity and innovativity (is that a word?) and here is the list I have come up with:
- Superb coach
- Brilliant cook
- Expert typist – Can set out a document by eye, and it will look great on the page.
- Brilliant writer and author
- Fabulously intuitive
- Do my accounts satisfactorily
- Create a good workspace
- Create opportunities for clients
- Create opportunities to get clients
- Great supporter
- Great teacher
- Create achievable goals for my clients and for myself
- Build relationships online and in person
- Think up new ways for my clients to succeed
- Find new ways for me to succeed
- Lead by example
- Positive and encouraging to all
- Hear beyond the words
If this hits home to you then please feel free to contact me. You are not alone. I would love to talk with you and help you to learn how to be more confident in yourself. As we all know, life is a school and we are constantly learning. I really do look forward to hearing from you with your lists of creativity and innovativity.
I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves so that they can have more fun, live a better life and enjoy their work. Get in touch today for a free informal chat on how I can help you.