feelings

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Friends and family who sap your positive energy

The people with whom you have the most contact and who hang around you will have either a positive or negative effect on your levels of self-esteem and confidence.

We all know people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around. They are pleasure to know.

Have you noticed how they make you feel?

They tend to make you feel the same as them, happy and positive! They can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with positive, ‘can do’ vibes, and that has a knock on effect onto everyone else.

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On the other hand, we also know of those people who are the opposite and who can moan for England, and continually do so!

According to them they never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like other people to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – and so much more!

These people have the ability to drain the energy from the room, and  they bring everyone down to their level, they make everyone feel miserable.  This is a million miles away from the level that YOU want to be operating on.

Have you noticed how they make you feel?

How do I know I am in a relationship that is bad for me?

 

It is often the case that some family members can be a lot like this. However, whilst you can usually choose your friends, you have little or no choice with your family!

So what can you do to make sure that the people who you have most contact with empower and support what you stand for rather than bring you down all of the time?

You have the power to choose who you have contact with. Ideally you want happy, vibrant and positive people. If there are people who are constantly draining your positive energy you have a couple of options.  One option is to tell the draining people exactly how you feel and if they are really good friends they will respect your wishes and may change their behaviour. If they drift into the negative again, try to ignore it.  Interestingly if they aren’t really good friends, they will drift away and go to find someone else to drain. Another option is to distance yourself from the negative people, they may or may not notice.  If they do and want to know why, explain to them how you feel.  If they don’t, all to the good they are directing their negativity at someone else.

The same can be said for your family.  Your more mature relatives have been conditioned for many, many years and are a different generation.  Appreciate where they have come from whilst being selective with the information that filters through to your brain.  You have the same choices as with your friends for the younger relatives, tell them how you feel and they will either change something or drift away.

Don’t attach any guilt to your decisions, as it is your life and if you are tired of the negativity, it is time for you to do something about it.

You may well find that you will make new friends who are positive and upbeat and some members of your family may reappear who have also removed themselves from negative relatives.

If this resonates with you, and you would like to learn more about my work and how I can help you,  get in touch with me today. I would like to hear from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Impacting lives

A year ago I verbalised that I intended to impact the lives of a million people and help them to become the authentic people that they are. Help them to rebuild their confidence in themselves and their abilities and become functioning human beings again. The functioning human beings they were before they forgot how to function.

I was inspired by both my daughter’s journey through leaving an abusive marriage, staying in a refuge and making a new life and home for herself and her children.  Plus I was inspired by the work of a High Chief in Malawi who has annulled all the marriages of young girls and is getting them back into education.
Since that time I have written a comprehensive six module course, talked to domestic abuse services, safeguarding teams, ladies who have escaped from abusive relationships, gentlemen who have been homeless, have been addicts and are now on the road to recovery.
In January 2017, having applied for and been granted Lottery funding as Break the Cycle Community Interest Company  we are running two courses in Havant for ladies who have escaped from abusive relationships and one course here on the Isle of Wight for ladies who have been in abusive relationships.

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It is definitely a start, and I will reach that one million target, maybe not next year, but it will happen.

If this resonates with you, and you would like to learn more about my work,  get in touch with me today. I would like to hear from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Do you always need to defend yourself?

Living with people who are verbally abusive or verbally aggressive can be very demanding on your time and energy.  But does it have to be that way?

The abusive or aggressive person often wants you to defend yourself or explain yourself.  This is abusive behaviour, controlling, demeaning and only you can decide if you are willing to tolerate it.  Some people have tolerated this behaviour for many decades, probably because they are scared of what other people might say or think, scared about what would happen if they stood up to the bully, and even scared of what life would be like if they were to leave and begin a new life for themselves.

There is a lovely quote from Sophia Dembling “If you can plant yourself on solid ground in your head and heart, other people won’t be able to throw you off balance.  No need to debate or justify your stance.  Explain yourself if you want, bu you needn’t defend yourself.”

tiredwoman

The bully is usually sweetness and light when anyone else is around, but when there is nobody else there they can be constantly verbally abusive and aggressive.  This is typical behaviour from a bully who, if confronted, will usually back down because they are usually cowards too.  They want control of you and this is the only way they know how.  And because they have got away with it for years, and because you think you can’t do anything about it, they will continue in the same way.

So, what can you do about this verbally abusive and aggressive person?  You have several options available to you.  You can put up with it, you can ignore it (not so easy I know), you can try and persuade the bully to go to counselling with you or you can decide you are not going to tolerate it any longer and leave the relationship.

The excuses will roll around your head one after the other – They won’t be able to cope without me, what will I do on my own, what if…………?

Dealing with emotional abuse

But you have to decide what is best for you, and only you.  It is your life and you deserve to be able to live it in your way without the constant abuse and aggressiveness.  The abuser has chosen their path and they are happy to be on it as they are in control of you and they know exactly what they are doing to make you unhappy and make you believe that if you were to leave them that this would happen or that would happen, and they will come out with a large range of scenarios.  All of these scenarios will sound plausible, because that is what they are good at.  Making you feel inadequate.

So it is up to you to decide what you want to do.  Do you want to stay and be constantly verbally abused and spoken to aggressively?  If not, seek some professional help so you can make an informed decision about your life.

Are you ready to make changes? Work with me and learn to live life from the inside out gain more freedom, more fun and less stress.

You will discover how your mind only works one way – from the inside out.  Your life will be more productive, enjoyable and fulfilling.

Here is a lovely testimonial from one of my clients: ‘Maggie intuitively knew that the path I was on wasn’t the way I truly wanted to go. She allowed me to see that my passions were elsewhere and opened my mind to the possibilities ahead of me. I changed my path and have never looked back. Maggie was totally right.’ – MV, UK

So get in touch with me today.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

 

 

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The future is in your imagination

I was reading a post that a friend created on Facebook.  I am going to call her Anne. It went something along the lines of she had to travel to London on the train tomorrow and there will be a strike.  She made up this scenario of thousands of people trying to cram themselves onto a train to get into London.  Anne thought she would be late for a meeting.  She was worrying that she would be late and so the thoughts went on.

Anne was thinking about the future, and the future hasn’t happened yet.  It is in our imaginations.  It isn’t reality.  Just the like the past – it was our reality once, but not any longer.  The only reality we have is now in this moment.  The future isn’t our reality because it hasn’t happened yet.

Stressed Businesswoman

So today, in her actual reality, Anne has found that the train she got on was fairly empty, she got a seat and she got to London on time for her meeting.  This is Anne’s reality now.

All that worrying Anne did about whether she would be late, be squashed on a train made her anxious in the moment.  That was her reality.  Anxious thinking.  Anne’s imagination had created this whole scenario and she believed it.

We have somewhere in the region of 80,000 thoughts a day.  Some of them we are totally unaware of, these thoughts are the ones that keep us alive.  We don’t consciously think breathe in, breathe out thousands of times a day. We don’t consciously think about driving when we drive.  Those thoughts are in our subconscious and run in the background.

The thoughts we are aware of in our conscious mind are the ones that flit in and out of our heads.  Some of them we catch and some of them pass through with little or no notice.

We don’t have to believe all the thoughts that appear in our mind.  We can recognise them and discard them, we can recognise and believe them.  But we don’t have to believe them all, especially the ones that are about future events and how bad or good they are going to be. The future is in our imaginations.

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Do you want clarity about your current situation, about what really matters in life, the choices you want to make and who you really are?

Are you ready to make changes? Working with me and learning to live life from the inside out will bring you more freedom, more fun and less stress.

You will discover how your mind only works one way – from the inside out.  Your life will be more productive, enjoyable and fulfilling.

So get in touch with me and we can get a date in the diary for an initial chat.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Why, what, how and what?

Why would you want to work with me?

I have over a decade of experience as a coach and mentor and have worked with an amazing array of people from all walks of life.

Here is a comment from one of my clients in the USA:

“‘Oh, what a wonderful call I just had with Maggie, she has a way of coaxing out of me things and putting others in proper perspective. Feeling so much better, the little residual of melancholy about the fourth of July was gone by the end of the call. Great feeling letting it go. Now to get on with the rest of the day I am feeling very upbeat’.” – VB, USA

Additionally I have extensive qualifications, having worked hard on my own personal and professional development:

And I am currently working with Jenny and Rudi Kennard to become an Innate Wellbeing Facilitator.

My vast experience includes:

graduated

What do I provide?

Coaching and mentoring either individually or in groups to help you reach clarity about your current situation, about what really matters in life, the choices you want to make and who you really are?

I can help you with:

  • Personal development
  • Career development
  • Anxieties and stress
  • Relationship issues
  • Limiting inner beliefs

and so much more………………………

Here is a comment from a gentleman I coached a few years ago:

“I was helped immensely by Maggie in finding my way with the career I wanted, She was non judgemental and patient and made me focus on what I really wanted. I knew she was a good coach, but it wasn’t until I implemented what I learned that found out what a great coach Maggie is. Can’t recommend her highly enough.” – CG, UK

I provide results for my clients.

theworldisyourcanvas

How does it work?

Initially we will have a completely free, no obligation chat.  We will get to know each other better and I will get a sense of what is you want to achieve.  If you and I agree to work together, we will get a date in the diary for your first coaching session.

Case study:

A young lady came to me saying she was unhappy in her life and working together she came to realise that her relationship with her partner was stagnating.  She made the decision to leave the relationship.  Since then she has found her soul mate and challenged herself to do some really challenging things in her life.  To name a few things she has achieved:  Gone through astronaut training at NASA, experienced weightlessness in a plane, taught a class in Italy and many other things.

Here is a comment from a gentleman I worked with:

“Maggie has great experience of dealing with life situations in a positive way. I have seen people grow within themselves during several of her presentations and seminars. She deals with people in a non-judgemental and constructive way, whilst challenging them to look at their view of them selves and to re-evaluate their own self-worth.” – KC, UK

top100coaches

What if you did work with me?

Everyone of us was born for greatness and we knew that, until we forgot! Working with me will help you remember again.

When you start to see the true power of thought and its relationship to your way of living your life, your transformations will begin and you will better understand yourself and the world in which you live.

You will discover how your mind only works one way – from the inside out.  Your life will be more productive, enjoyable and fulfilling.

If you do nothing but hope your life will change, it won’t.  Be certain your life will change when you work with me.

So get in touch with me and we can get a date in the diary for an initial chat.

I am offering YOU 3 coaching sessions for the bargain price of £247 (usually £1500). So grab a bargain whilst you can!  Offer ends 31st October 2016.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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How do I know I have low self-esteem?

Low self-esteem manifests itself in a variety of ways, and I should know I have been there.  For me the following was very true:

  • I didn’t think I was good enough.
  • I thought everyone else thought they were good enough.
  • I didn’t look after myself, I put others first.
  • I let people manipulate me.
  • I was in a bad relationship.
  • I felt sad and thought there must be more to life than this.
  • I constantly asked other people for their opinion, I didn’t think I knew anything.
  • I was verbally and emotionally abused and never felt I was worthy.

I started out with the intention of being happy when I got married at age 19, but soon discovered that the marriage was not working as I was constantly treated like an idiot, not allowed to develop as me, told I was worthless and became a possession.  This situation went on for 12 years and my self-esteem nose-dived.  Whilst in that relationship I had no idea that it wasn’t normal, I thought every marriage was the same.

Dealing with emotional abuse

I woke up one morning and a thought crept into my mind.  This is not normal, there has to be something different.  I summoned the courage to seek some help and explained my situation to a solicitor and he confirmed it was not normal. I decided there and then I had to get out of that relationship.

Getting out of that relationship led me to become a single parent, living in a small flat with three small children, no money, no job, no prospects and I felt there was no hope.  My self-esteem went down even further.

Something had to change, and there was one day that sticks in my mind when things began to change.  I had the flu and the children all had chicken pox.  We were sitting huddled in the living room trying to keep warm and I had only one coin left for the electric meter.  Something had to change and very soon or none of us were going to get through this.

I phoned my parents and asked them to bring me some 50p pieces for the meter.  This didn’t change anything immediately, but it did help us to get better.  I resolved that I could get a job, I was capable and I was going to change mine and my children’s lives.

The very next week I went out and got a job cooking school meals in the school my children attended.  It meant I was there when they went to school and when they came home. I was there in the school holidays.  But it also meant I was independent, no longer reliant on benefits and other people.  I was changing my life.

Does anything resonate with you yet? Can you see the likenesses in your life at the moment? Well I can assure you, there is hope.

It took me a while, some years, but I found the answers to rebuilding my self-esteem and my life to such an extent that I run two successful businesses that I set up and I am a published author. I married again and have been very happily married for 32 years to a wonderful man who loves me.  I have spent over a decade as a life coach and mentor and work with people who have no self-esteem and help them to re-build it and I love every minute of it. I know how it feels, I know it hurts and that’s why I can help so many people.  I am still learning, life is a school and I attend every day.

Dealing with emotional abuse

 

So what can you do right now to begin to change your situation and start to re-build your self-esteem?

  • Stop thinking that you are not good enough. You most definitely are.
  • Begin to look after yourself, put yourself first. It is not selfish – it is essential.
  • Before you think that you don’t have the answer stop, really think about the question, the answer is there, you just have to find it deep down inside yourself.
  • There is more to life than you have now, it is out there waiting for you. What is it that you want? Picture it in your head, write it down, look for it , open your mind to it.
  • Listen to your intuition. Really listen. It is telling you what is right for you now in this moment.

By changing your attitude towards yourself other people will change their attitudes towards you, it will take time, but it will happen.

Begin today to change your life. You deserve to be happy and to be yourself. You deserve to have high self-esteem.

If you would like to find out more about living in the moment and rebuilding your self-esteem,  get in touch and let’s have a conversation.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

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Stress – what is it?

Have you set yourself goals that you think you want to achieve?  If so, are they actually achievable?  And more importantly are they really necessary?

There is stress around setting goals.  You make them mean something about your worth and value and this creates pressure as you strive to achieve them.  And if you do achieve them, will there still be something missing?

screaming

So, let’s imagine you want to test out how stressed you are.

If you feel you have to make it happen you are putting a huge responsibility on your shoulders.  You think you are on your own.  You work hard at gaining more knowledge, you work harder and keep a very tight control.  You make it all about your personal commitment and discipline.  You want to prove yourself to yourself, and to everyone else, or you think you will lose everything.

We force ourselves out of our comfort zones feeling stress and fear all the way along.

On the other hand, you could leave it all up to the Universe.  This mean you sit and wait for the conditions of your environment or in your mind to be perfect………  This is very unlikely to happen.  So you feel stressed whilst you wait.

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Alternatively, and more sensibly you can use your free will and make decisions from your innate wisdom and stay on course when have stressful thinking.  It is your thoughts that cause the stress, since stress itself does not exist until we create it.

So relax into what it is you want to achieve, live in the moment.  Don’t think about the future as it hasn’t happened yet.  Don’t think about what you did in the past, nothing can change that. Do what you feel is right in the moment and your stress levels will reduce and you may even find that you have no need to set goals at all.

If you would like to find out more about living in the moment and reducing your stress levels,  get in touch and let’s have a conversation.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Allowing your reality to be

There are times when we notice something about ourselves, our relationships and indeed our whole world that we feel needs to change.  Some of us expound about how something or somebody needs to change in order to achieve our desired outcome.  Others of us take action and start to work on our inner selves or work on a outer goal.

What we often find is that, without us doing anything at all, the change that we desire has happened and it would appear we have had nothing to do with it.

It could be viewed as a miracle, but in fact the change has happened from the inside out.  Our thoughts are very powerful and by accepting or rejecting some thoughts we live in the reality of our creation. Our thoughts only work one way, from the inside out.

oneway

When we are experiencing anxiety over something that may or may not happen, we are actually experiencing anxious thoughts.  There isn’t anything in the future to be anxious about, it hasn’t happened yet and indeed may never happen.  Once we accept we are experiencing anxious thinking, we can let it go and come back to our current reality.

We are built for reality and each of us has our own reality.  We each have a different experience of an event.

Business people communicating with each other against white

Take a theatrical performance.  Each and everyone in the audience will have their own experience of that performance.  Some will experience laughter, some will experience boredom, some will experience wonder and so on.  Each and every one of us lives in our reality created by our thoughts in the moment.

When you start to see the true power of thought and its relationship to your way of living your life, how thought generates your experiences, your transformations will begin and you will better understand yourself and the world in which you live.

If you would like to find out more, get in touch and let’s have a conversation.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/Maggie-Currie-Coaching-527886050648208/?ref=hl
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Making time for YOU!

My clients often tell me that one of the added benefits of coaching they hadn’t considered before they started, is that their coaching session can often be the only time in a busy week that they feel able to step back and truly focus 100% on themselves.  Hand on heart, how often could you say that you allow yourself to do that?

A lot of the time we get so busy ‘doing’ that we forget about ‘being’.

This was a revelation of sorts for me some years back.  I had something fantastically inspiring to aim for, I had the focus and drive to work really hard and I was making good progress.  And yet, I wound up feeling ill, stressed and fairly disillusioned.  If this was what having stretching goals was about, I wasn’t sure I wanted them after all!

Talking through how I felt with a friend one day, I was brought up short when she said “oh yes, you’ve become a human doing instead of a human being” .  That comment really resonated with me and I thought about it all the way home.

As I reflected on the previous few months I could think of few times when I wasn’t ‘doing’ and even fewer times when I’d consciously decided to take time out and ‘be’.

So how much of your time do you spend ‘doing’ and how much do you spend ‘being’?   If you had to divide a circle up with how much time you give over to each, what would it look like?  How big would your ‘being’ slice be?

piechart

With our busy lives and time-poor society it can seem impossible to take more time for ourselves, but at what cost do you choose not to?  My decision those few years back was to invest more time in myself and I’m certain that I’m much more productive as a result.  I get more done in my ‘doing’ time now than I ever did when I was ‘doing’ every waking second of the day.  Plus, my ultimate decision was that it couldn’t all be about the doing and the destination or I’d miss the journey altogether.

So what time could you make for yourself to ‘be’?  To listen to your thoughts and feel your feelings.  When could you next set aside an hour or two, a whole day or even more than that to relax and recharge?  Can you set aside fifteen minutes a day to sit and have a cup of tea or coffee, relax and be you.  How much better would you feel if you did?

Could you do with some regular time set aside to focus 100% on you and on making your life how you want it? If so, what are you prepared to commit to?

concept

Learn to live your life more simply.  We all have around 80,000 thoughts a day, but we don’t have to listen to or believe them all.  Which are the thoughts that give you a nice feeling?  Which are the thoughts that you don’t like?  Have you considered that you are only one thought away from a lovely feeling and a more peaceful life?

Have you got so lost in the process of life that you have forgotten how to be you?  Would you like to have a conversation to discuss this further? Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/Maggie-Currie-Coaching-527886050648208/?ref=hl
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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My self awareness

When I was in my teens, and even up to my early 40s, I had very little self awareness.  I plodded along doing what I was told to do, manipulated by so many people.  I was so totally not self aware I didn’t even notice that I was living my life on other people’s terms.

It is only since I began training to be a transformational coach thirteen years ago that I have really discovered myself and discovered my own self awareness.  I have found that to be able to grow into my own self-awareness I have to be aware of  my feelings and emotions.  This was quite a difficult journey for me, as I have suppressed feelings and emotions for many years.  The reason – I was conditioned by my parents from  childhood  that I should be seen and not heard.  I was told that I should not express anger or display any emotion.  And so I learned to repress them.

Dealing with emotional abuse

Having this understanding now after learning so much about my feelings and emotions and rediscovering who I am really am, I know that I can express my feelings and emotions. And this is a huge step for me towards self-awareness.

But what does self-awareness do for me? What are the benefits to me?  Being self-aware has given me the opportunity and freedom to change those things I want to change about myself and create the life that I want.  I now don’t allow others to manipulate me.  I live my life on my terms.  I am seen and heard and I do express my feelings and emotions.

The more clarity I get about who I am and what I want, and of course why I want it, the more I empower myself to consciously make those wants a reality. But, how do I get this clarity? I turn to the expert – ME.  I know more about myself than anyone else, I know I have been manipulated and by whom.  I know I have suppressed my feelings and emotions,  and I know why.  And I have got to know myself even better over the past few years by becoming so much more self aware.  I am, of course, still learning.

To get the clarity I want I have learned to ask myself questions and expect specific answers. The more specific my answers, the more impact they have on my life and then I have a much clearer picture of  me.  Of course, there are times when my answer is ‘I don’t know’ and I know that is okay too.  I give myself the freedom to take a wild guess and this allows me to carry on.  What I have discovered is that I really do know more than I ever thought I did.

Dealing with emotional abuse

Honesty is vital in my answers to myself.  It will lead to my true self awareness, but it does take a lot of courage.  It is the courage to face my fears or to face something I find difficult to accept about myself.  For instance, I know that I am impatient and want things to happen now.  I also know that when people are speaking to me I used to get impatient to hear the end of what they were saying, and I tended  to try to finish their sentences for them.  I know this about myself and now take the time to listen when people are talking and not just to give them an answer, but to hear what they are saying beyond the words.

By being totally honest with myself I take ownership of my actions, beliefs, thoughts and feelings and find those beliefs that are no longer serving me. Those beliefs can then be discarded, altered or whatever feels right for me now.

I find that sometimes I do slip up and give an answer that perhaps I think I should give, rather than what I really know is right.  That means I am giving answers from my head rather than getting in touch with my feelings and getting the answer from inside. To get out of my head again, I take several deep breaths, allow the brain to quieten and start to listen, to notice where the thoughts are coming from.  This helps me to balance myself and to find the answers I need, and they come from inside me rather than from my head. I have learned that life only works one way, from the inside out.

I know that whatever I discover about myself I can handle with ease and acceptance.  I trust that whatever I discover about myself will in some way lead to a greater sense of me and increased self-awareness.

And of course I am learning every day more and more about myself too.

If you find this resonates with you, get in touch with me for a free conversation about your thoughts on self awareness.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/Maggie-Currie-Coaching-527886050648208/?ref=hl
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk