March 23, 2015 by Maggie Currie

Do you look good on the outside, but inside you are crumbling?

Wouldn’t it feel wonderful to get beyond these feelings to a calmer and more positive place. What if you could…

Overcome your fears and anxieties?
Gain the courage to make a change?
Get on with enjoying your life?
Unlock your inner strengths?
Put your own needs first?
Be a survivor not a victim?

THIS IS NOT SOME UNACHIEVABLE DREAM. I’M GOING TO HELP YOU MAKE IT HAPPEN.

Picture this. In 2 1/2 days you’ll be feeling like a new you. You’ll have reconnected with your inner confidence and feel able to survive the challenges and obstacles that you face in your life.

You will have developed a new found energy, and you will have a spring in your step.

You’ll be on track to change your situation and live the life you want.

IN OTHER WORDS, IN JUST 2 1/2 DAYS, YOUR LIFE WILL BE TURNED AROUND.

I am running two retreats, one for women and one for men, here on the Isle of Wight.

The S.E.L.F. Retreat for women, and The L.I.F.E. Retreat for men.

I’M HERE TO HELP YOU

I want you to know that it is possible to make a change; that no situation, no matter how desperate, is insurmountable.

As Napoleon Hill says, “Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.”

So, if you’re serious about moving on from your feelings of anxiety and despair, now’s the time to take action.

I’ve designed this Retreat for you – the person who is struggling to live life on your own terms and is finally ready to turn things around.

I’m here to help you be a survivor.

Stop making the same vague wish (“I hope my life finally takes off this year”) every single birthday.

One of these Retreats is for you if you’re finally ready to make a positive change and be a survivor, not a victim.

WHICHEVER RETREAT YOU CHOOSE, I AM GIVING YOU:

The tools you need to recharge yourself and your confidence in yourself in a supportive and non-judgmental environment.
The knowledge you need to survive following a life trauma – divorce, redundancy, overwhelm, loss.
My knowledge and the resources I have accumulated over many years of research, trial and error and failure, and of course successes.
A stay in a beautiful Victorian mansion so close to the beach you will have sand in your shoes. (Situated a 20 minute walk from the Hovercraft and Wightlink Fastcat passenger terminals. No need to bring your car across. I can even arrange for you to be collected from the ferry or hovercraft and bring you to the venue.)
The focus on you to get to know and love your real SELF.

Plus I am giving you:

A buffet style continental breakfast each morning.
Your own chef preparing, cooking and serving your lunches and dinners each day on site.
Unlimited refreshments throughout each day.
Your own welcome pack to keep.
Some top notch surprise guest speakers and coaches to add to your experience.
Our own private Facebook group for continued support.
A one to one coaching session with me.

YOU will find the solutions you are looking for. Forget all the imagined reasons why you think it won’t work for you. Believe the one reason why it will!

Find out more about the Retreat of your choice by clinking on the appropriate link:

The S.E.L.F. Retreat

The L.I.F.E. Retreat

The investment per person is £749.00 all inclusive. No hidden costs. Everything is provided, just bring yourself.

Don’t think of cost, think of the value to you and your life.

RESULTS

I’ve been working with clients as a thought leader and survival coach for the past 10 years to help them overcome stress, anxiety and life trauma.

I helped one client to change their career from one they hated to one they loved.

Another client came to me with anxiety associated with confrontation and low self-esteem. She is now leading a whole team of people and confident in her abilities.

I also helped a client who was suffering from very low self-esteem to realise her full potential and she is now blossoming running her own business.

Don’t just take my word for it!

“Maggie has an instant relaxing mentality rarely found in people, backed with a genuine empathy for people. Maggie has the mark of calm, leaving you feeling relaxed and at peace. Maggie’s knowledge and style leaves clients and fellow professionals wanting more of her work. Maggie is just one of those people with a gift and the world is blessed with her use of them.”
– DU, UK (Male)

“Maggie has great experience of dealing with life situations in a positive way. I have seen people grow within themselves during several of her presentations and seminars. She deals with people in a non-judgemental and constructive way, whilst challenging them to look at their view of them selves and to re-evaluate their own self-worth.” – KC, UK (Male)

“Maggie assisted me through a challenging time in my life. She is able to combine a no nonsense approach with genuine empathy to her coaching work and shares her knowledge generously. She holds you accountable for outcomes in a warm and caring manner. Being coached by Maggie was such a pleasure. I always looked forward to those sessions with anticipation. Maggie is able to hold your space in a non-judgemental manner which gives you the confidence to move forward. I certainly recommend her as a coach.” – TZ, South Africa (Female)

“I used to get irritated whenever you would say ‘why can’t you do that?’ or ‘why do you think that?’. But now I see that by questioning my thinking you have broadened my outlook and I can actually achieve more than I ever thought. In fact the other day I was faced with a challenge, and my initial thought was I need to get someone in to do this for me. Then I stopped and thought of you and it came to me that I can do it. And do you know what, I did it and it worked out very well.” – IM, UK (Male)

SO ASK YOURSELF, WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT FROM YOUR LIFE? WHAT DO YOU WISH YOUR LIFE COULD BE LIKE? AND HOW READY ARE YOU TO MAKE A CHANGE, ONCE AND FOR ALL?

Book your place today……..There are only 10 places available for each Retreat.

The S.E.L.F. Retreat

The L.I.F.E. Retreat

Grant yourself the freedom to START LIVING.

Can’t wait to see you there!

Maggie Currie

Thought Leader, Speaker, Author, Survivor

Contributor to BBC Radio, Vectis Radio, Susan Rich Radio

Published author and regularly write articles for national and international magazines.

Find out more about me on my website.

P.S. Here are just a few testimonials from my previous workshops/courses/seminars:

“Thanks Maggie, I have your book in my bag and the collage I made at your workshop, when I look at it, it gives me the confidence to carry on. I can’t thank you enough for that workshop, it was great.” Maggie J

“Maggie always brings a refreshing energy to any situation. She truly enjoys helping others to live the life they deserve!” Teri H

“Maggie helped me to make one big decision that led to another, and another, and another – and that’s how my life changed for the better!” Jane L

“Maggie makes the toughest challenges seem simple. Always exceeds my expectations.” Wendy W

“I have done really well since your workshop. I decided that it was OK to give up being self employed because there is too much going on elsewhere it is not serving me well. I have successfully applied for a surveyors job at xxxxxxx and been offered a very good package. I have accepted and start in November part time until I finish all my jobs and then full time by 2015. I am really pleased to say the least. It was very helpful to go somewhere for some “me” time. Thank you! ” Peter M

March 2, 2015 by Maggie Currie

Chill

Stress as we all know is a killer. And yet still the number of people suffering from it continues to increase. In the UK it is estimated that work-related stress is responsible for six million days of sick leave a year.

When you own your own business, being sick from work is simply not an option. Ask a business owner when they last took a day off sick and chances are it was last century. Maybe we’re all delusional, believing that the business would come crashing to its knees if we weren’t there to run it. More likely that we know the business can function very well without us, but there simply aren’t the resources in place to pick up the work in your absence. Whatever the reason, small business owners don’t read the signs their bodies send them when they are working too hard. That stiff neck, backache, that heart burn – you just work through it.

Whilst it is normal to have some stress when running your own business, excessive stress can seriously disrupt your productivity and have a huge impact on your physical and emotional health. How you deal with this stress can mean the difference between your success or failure.

If you go to your local A & E department you will find doctors and nurses working in very stressful conditions as a matter of course. They get on with their jobs in a quick but measured fashion and there is never any panic amongst the staff. This includes everyone, the porters, the doctors, the nurses. They all have a job to do and they just get on with it – systematically. No dramas, no ‘not quite knowing what was the most important or urgent task of the day’.

There really is little to get stressed about in business. What goes on in hospitals every day all over the country is quite extraordinary. Our doctors and nurses and all their support teams work in severely stressful situations, they work incredibly long hours and are in the business of saving lives. It doesn’t get much bigger than that does it? And yet they seem to do it quite reservedly – we don’t hear much about them on a day-to-day basis do we?

Is it really worth getting so worked up about business? Why not start a triage system in your business – there are just some things that can sit being monitored for while, whilst you get on with the important stuff.

Managing stress doesn’t have to be about making huge changes or rethinking career paths. I believe it is about focusing on the one thing that’s always within your control: YOU.

You can’t control everything related to your business; that would be unrealistic. But that doesn’t mean to say that you are totally powerless—even when you’re stuck in a difficult situation.

I’m a coach specialising in helping people reduce or eliminate stress in their work. I will help you get out from hiding behind your desk. I have set up and run two successful businesses over the past 10 years and I managed stress levels successfully so that it didn’t affect me very much.

And you can do it too…… Take responsibility for your working life. I will help you to focus on what is important, what can be monitored, what can be outsourced, what can be ditched, so that you can work smarter and not harder.

Get in touch today to find out more about my 8 week coaching programme to help you reduce or even eliminate stress from your work.

Maggie Currie

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Simple Steps Real Change

February 16, 2015 by Maggie Currie

Give yourself permission to simply be

I have discovered that frequently the elation that we feel when we have learned an important lesson, achieved a goal, or had a huge breakthrough can be met with a period of downtime afterward. During this time of transition, we may feel unsure and not know where to turn next, we may have feelings of lack of self worth and self doubt.

I know that during this period of downtime, we may begin to wonder what our life is about, what our purpose is, will life get better? These feelings are very common and we all feel them from time to time. If this resonates with you, just remember you are not alone.

Often, we feel best when we are working on a project or vigorously pursuing a goal. We are engaged in the process of achieving, planning, doing. But there is nothing inherently wrong with spending a day, a week or even a month, simply existing and not having a plan. Just being. This time is just as valuable and helps to rebuild our stocks of energy, ideas etc.

I know that I have found sometimes the quiet lull between ideas, projects, and goals can make life appear empty. I know there are some people who, after accomplishing one objective, want to move immediately on to the next.

However, we are all different. When you find that your next step is unclear, it is quite natural to feel frustrated, or disconnected or even a mild depression.

To help calm what can be distressing thoughts, learn to accept that you will continue to grow as an individual whether you are striving for a specific objective or not. Just be. Use all the time you need to think about what you have recently gone through and leisurely contemplate what you wish to do next.

You may also find that in simply being and going through the motions of everyday life, you reconnect with your priorities in a very organic, unforced way.

I have found that this transition time is different all the time. It can be a period of reflection or a period of adjustment where new values based on recent changes can be integrated.

Just because you have temporarily lost sight of a final destination, doesn’t mean you should assume that you have lost your drive. Where you are going next will become apparent at the right time for you.

I would love to hear from you about your experiences of simply being. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

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January 27, 2015 by Maggie Currie

Why We Must Care for Ourselves

So many of us focus so much on caring for others that we forget all about caring for ourselves. But when we don’t take the time to care for ourselves it can be extremely damaging to our health. It is often instilled into us as we grow up, we are conditioned, that we should care for others first and ourselves last and that it is selfish to think of yourself. But I think this belief is wrong and it is not selfish to look after ourselves first, it is absolutely vital.

Giving too much can hurt us. It is important that we learn to care for ourselves too. It doesn’t make us unkind or selfish. We’re not caring less for those who depend upon us. We’re not saying, “I matter more than you.’ We are simply caring for our own needs too, looking after our own health, so that we have more to give in future.

There is a story that really hits home with me and affects me every time I read it, and it says that a mother was taking a flight on a plane with her twin daughters who were aged 5. There was an emergency and the oxygen masks came down and the mother, although she had listened to the safety announcements and knew what to do with her mask did not put her mask on first. Instead she tried to get masks on her twin daughters to no avail. Because she had not put her mask on she soon could not breathe, became unconscious and couldn’t help herself or her daughters. All of them died. Now, if she had put her mask on first she would have been able to calmly fit the masks on her daughters and they would probably all have survived. So no, it is not selfish to look after yourself first, it is vital.

A study of carers carried out in 2004 highlighted how caring for others too much can hurt us. Examining a group of carers who looked after chronically ill children, scientists at the University of California in San Francisco analysed samples of the carers’ DNA.They measured the length of their ‘telomeres’, which are essentially the end caps on DNA, the nearest I can come to describing these is something like the plastic end caps on shoelaces. As we age, our telomeres gradually shorten just like the end caps on shoelaces get worn away. Interestingly measuring the length of telomeres is one of the most accurate ways of measuring the age of the body.

Studying the telomeres of 39 women who cared for chronically ill children and 19 women who were mothers to healthy children, they found that the telomeres of the most stressed carers were 15% shorter than those of the least stressed women. The scientists concluded that this degree of shortening was equivalent to at least ten years of extra aging.

In 2007 a study of carers of Alzheimer’s patients found something similar. University of Ohio scientists studied the telomeres of 41 caregivers of Alzheimer’s patients and compared them with the telomeres of non-caregivers, once again finding that the caregivers had much shorter telomeres.

For people who give too much and are feeling tired and/or stressed, the question I always ask is, ‘If it was a friend or loved one who was in your position, what would you advise them?’ We know what to do but how often do we do what we know?

One way to think of it is like blowing up a balloon. We give a full breath and the balloon begins to inflate. But what do we do next? We take in a large breath to enable us to put more air in the balloon. Kindness to ourselves is like taking a breath. It replenishes us so that we can give even more. If we forget to take a breath we eventually have nothing more to give, and the balloon is left to deflate.

We help others more when we also care for ourselves. Kindness can make the world a better place. But we must not forget to add ourselves to the list of those who need kindness, and make sure we give ourselves the kindness we deserve.

Do you feel like you could be getting more out of your life? Are you looking to make changes to improve your life but don’t know where to start?

Would you like to be happier, more confident, more relaxed and have time to care for yourself?

Good news! You’ve come to the right place and I know I can help… Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

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December 30, 2014 by Maggie Currie

Do you really know what will it take to make you happy?

Think about it and see if you can discover, or if you know, what it will take for you to be happy?

Will being in a relationship, or with the right boyfriend/girlfriend make you happy?
Will being married make you happy?
Will having a million pounds make you happy?
Will being successful make you happy?
Will having better health make you happy?
Will getting a new job make you happy?
Will having a great career make you happy?

If you think the answer is yes to any or all of the above questions, you’ll never find happiness!

Surprised? Well don’t be. The truth is nothing can make you happy. Happiness is something we feel, not something we can find.

Being happy doesn’t depend on a particular outcome or something happening to you. There isn’t somewhere you can go and find happiness sitting there waiting for you.

Advertising of all sorts is designed to make you think that a new car, a particular skin cream, a new outfit, some new shoes, a drink or a new diet will make you happy, but that is simply not true. Nothing can make you happy because happiness is a feeling. Happiness is something you experience.

If you want to be happy, then be happy. Most people don’t choose to be happy because they spend most of their time focusing on what they perceive is wrong with their life.

Think about it, you can’t be happy doing something that you don’t like. If you don’t believe me try it. Try doing something you despise and see if you can be happy at the same time. Trust me, you won’t be happy doing something you don’t enjoy!

You also can’t do something you really enjoy and be sad or angry. Don’t believe me? Try it. See what happens. Go and try doing something you really enjoy and see if you’re angry or miserable at the same time. That really doesn’t work.

Unfortunately, people believe they can be happy when they achieve a particular goal and make the mistake of chasing that goal in order to be happy. It’s really not achieving the goal that makes them happy. It’s the feeling of achieving the goal that provides another feeling, satisfaction perhaps, that is mistaken for happiness.

This mistake is quite common, because it’s not security or peace of mind that makes you happy. You experience happiness when you do what you enjoy and when you focus on the positive things taking place in your life. If you’re not doing that then you can never be happy. Don’t think that you can be happy just by having something.

You can experience happiness by achieving your particular goal, by doing what you enjoy, having fun while achieving your goals and choosing the right goals, the kind that allow you to be happy all the time. Focus on what you want.

Start doing the things that you enjoy. Look at the positive things that are going on in your life. Direct your mind and subconscious mind to help you experience happiness every day. This will start once you begin to appreciate the good things in your life.

Okay so how can you begin to be happy? It’s really quite simple, all you have to do is shift your focus.

Instead of looking at all that is wrong with your life, instead of looking at what you don’t like about yourself or your life; constantly criticising; change your focus. Start appreciating all that is good in your life. You will probably find there are many things you appreciate.

Make a list if you want and write out all of the positive things in your life. Usually someone will say: “Maggie, I can’t think of anything positive or good in my life. I just want to be happy.” That’s only because you are not seeing all the positive things in your life. And so you’ll never be happy.

Every day there are wonderful things taking place in your life, yet you fail to observe and recognise them. You tend to take them for granted. This can be anything – a hot meal, a wonderful spouse, family, a beautiful flower, lambs playing in a field – If you have a roof over your head, that’s a positive aspect of your life.

Start looking at all of the great and terrific things that are going on in your life and you’ll begin to experience happiness on a deeper level. You can begin to improve or change the areas that you are not happy with but at the same time you should acknowledge the good things that are going on in your life.

Your mind is used to only paying attention to what is going wrong and in the process it directs the subconscious mind to continue creating more of those things that are going wrong. You actually create more of what makes you unhappy.

Why?

Because your subconscious creates what you regularly think about. So if you don’t regularly focus on the positive things you won’t create positive situations in your life.

And here’s where it gets worse. When you constantly focus on what is wrong with your life, when you only think about and see what is wrong in your life your subconscious begins to create more of what is wrong or more of what you don’t want because it thinks that you want more.

Now you know why it can be so difficult for some people to truly experience happiness, it’s because they’re used to focusing on the negative aspects of life and in the end continue to create more of what they don’t want.

In order to change all of this you have to begin training the mind and re-directing the subconscious mind to begin creating what you want in life and to focus on the good things that are taking place in your life.

Begin experiencing happiness by changing your focus. Every day think of the positive things that are going on in your life. Make a list of all the wonderful things that are taking place in your life.

Think of at least 3 great things that happened to you, they can be small or large – but just appreciate 3 good things that happened during the day. Focus on the positive. Direct your mind and subconscious mind by changing your perspective so you experience happiness everyday

Too often I hear from people who simply want to be happy but when I ask them what they do for fun they say: “Nothing.” No wonder you’re not happy. How can you be happy if you’re never having fun in life?

If you want to experience happiness then start doing things that you enjoy. You may like gardening; you may like hang gliding, you may like riding your bike, you may enjoy going for long walks, you may enjoy acting like a 5-year old – whatever it is start doing it and see how great you feel.

But there is one catch when you’re doing what you enjoy, you can only focus on that and not think about anything else that may be bothering you. That’s the only way you’ll truly enjoy the activity and begin to experience happiness.

As adults we get bogged down with the everyday tasks that force us to be serious. We have jobs where we’re serious, bills to pay, food to prepare, children to look after, it’s all too serious and it is necessary. I’m not suggesting you ignore your responsibilities – but take some time just to have some fun.

Now you can’t just have fun once a week or once a month. You have to do this every day. It can be for just 5 minutes a day if you like. That means every day you have to find something fun to do, and only then will you get comfortable and used to the process to the point where you regularly experience happiness. Once you start doing this you’ll enjoy it so much you’ll wonder why you never did this to begin with.

If you don’t feel you have the time to have fun and enjoy your life then you’re really saying that your happiness is not important enough. Only when you decide to be happy will you truly begin to experience happiness. You can work with the techniques I’ve outlined – they will help you get started. But you will need to train your mind and subconscious mind to begin seeing and living in a different way.

Maggie Currie

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© Maggie Currie and Maggie Currie Coaching, 2011-2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Maggie Currie and MaggieCurrie.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

December 16, 2014 by Maggie Currie

Fast forward 1 year – what do you see for yourself?

How would you like to see yourself in a year’s time? Would it be the same as now, or with slight changes or a whole new look?

Currently my life is:

My relationship with myself looks pretty good at the moment. I treat myself with respect and gratitude and take notice of the good thoughts, I acknowledge the not so good thoughts and endeavour to take no notice them beyond that.
My thoughts are generally positive but occasionally a negative thought will creep in. This is normal for everyone.
My relationship with my husband is fantastic, we love and respect each other and make each other laugh.
My relationship with my mother is good, we see each other fairly regularly, my father passed away some years ago, but is always in my heart and mind.
My relationship with two of my children is virtually non-existent (their choice which I respect) and with the third it is quite long distance and variable.
My physical health is pretty good, I am slightly overweight and making an effort to change this and I currently feel great.
My finances are reasonably okay, but could of course be a lot better. Bank account is in the black and the cash flow is restricted.
My business world consists of coaching, I am self-employed and an entrepreneur. I am the business.
I am peaceful in my life, asking the Universe for what I want, although I could ask more often. I don’t meditate.
For fun I work at pop festivals and trade by offering Indian head massage to all the punters at the festivals.
I take time for myself every day, even if it is only 5 minutes.

In a year’s time I see for me:

An even better relationship with myself.
Fewer negative thoughts creeping in.
A continuing fantastic relationship with my husband.
A great relationship with my mother.
A better relationship with my daughter.
Better health, less overweight.
Fabulous finances.
Business booming.
Peaceful in life and asking and receiving more from the Universe.
Still enjoying pop festivals.
My third book published.
Taking more time for myself every day.

Take a few moments to think about your future. Is there anything you would like to see differently? What are you prepared to do to bring about those changes?

If you need help get in touch today and we can get a date in the diary for a chat.

Maggie Currie

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© Maggie Currie and Maggie Currie Coaching, 2011-2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Maggie Currie and maggiecurrie.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

July 15, 2014 by Maggie Currie

Forgiveness – releasing the past

Forgiveness is such an important subject that I feel compelled to spend some time explaining its significance. When we hold something unforgiven inside, we are nurturing anger, hatred and resentment or maybe even guilt. These emotions lock us into the moment, continually reliving events. Over time all this emotion can become suppressed into the subconscious, but they are still there, consuming our mental and life energy.

Until we release ourselves from this cycle, it may prove impossible to move forward. It really does not matter what the issue was, whether slight or life-shatteringly traumatic. If you want to move on you must let it go. To do this you must forgive. To forgive someone does not mean that that you condone their behaviour simply that you forgive them, and release them. By releasing and forgiving them, you release yourself.

Some people hold onto their anger, refusing to forgive or let go. They will never move on until they do. In fact, quite the reverse, by allowing such emotions to ferment inside, they grow and can become all consuming, their whole life becoming defined by whatever the event was. They are no longer in control of their life or living the life they want. They are living a life that is directed by their anger and hurt.

How our lives are, is often a reflection of our reactions to the ups and downs of life. If we choose to accept the good and release the bad, we are able to maintain control over our lives and keep our sense of direction. If however we focus on the bad things that have happened to us, then these will simply grow, continually manifesting our own dark thoughts and divert us from seeking what we really want.

If you or your life is “stuck”, then it is well worth looking back to see if there is anything unforgiven in your past. Remember to forgive everyone, especially yourself. So many people trudge through their lives burdened with guilt for this or that. Forgive yourself and let it go.

Remember, life is in the now, the past is already finished and dead and cannot be changed. Nothing you can do now, can ever change the past, yet it is amazing how many people squander their emotional and life energy, consumed with anger or guilt about the past.

In this moment now, you have your power – the power to make your choices, take your action, to make a difference. You have no power in the past and you have no assurance of power in the future. If you want to feel free, released from the past then you must forgive. Forgive everyone, especially yourself. I know how difficult it is to overcome our natural and very human feelings of anger, guilt, resentment and fear. The basis of them can seem, and may well be, completely justified, you may be completely right to have these emotions, and it is OK to experience them. However, these emotions damage your ability to move on, you must accept your emotions, but then be prepared to let them go. To release yourself, you must forgive. Until you do you will remain the victim with your life locked into all those negative emotions.

Look around you, do you know anyone like that? Some tragedy or injustice has been suffered and now the entire life of that person is defined by their anger and resentment. Every positive thought, every inspired moment, all of life’s little pleasures are subsumed with their overwhelming feelings of anger, resentment, even desire for revenge. No matter how justified their emotions are, what good is it doing them? The past can never be changed. Life is full of tragedy and joy, it is not the events of life so much as how we respond to them that defines how joyous and successful our lives are.

It is time now for you to take action and to really begin to change your life. Or you could do nothing. It is your choice. I am coaching people to become the very best version of themselves.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

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April 13, 2014 by Maggie Currie

Noticing your feelings and defining the reaction taking place within you.

It is common knowledge that feelings can often bring about a very challenging aspect to our lives. We can experience very intense emotions without understanding precisely why. Consequently we can find it difficult to identify those solutions to relieving our distress, calming our minds and understanding why we are experiencing these emotions.

When we have mastered the ability of naming our feelings we can then tame them by finding an appropriate resolution. We are able to retake control of our personal power by becoming courageous enough to recognise and articulate, out loud and concisely, the essence of our emotions.

Once we assume ownership of these challenges we are empowered to shift from one emotional state to another — and with the added bonus of letting go of pain and upset because we have made it our own by defining it, examining the effect it had on our lives, and exerted our authority over it by making it our own. Additionally, by naming our feelings, we claim the right to divest ourselves of them whenever we choose.

When you are preparing to acknowledge your feelings aloud, take care to remind yourself gently that being specific is an important part of exercising control. It doesn’t matter what the nature of your feelings is, define very carefully the reaction taking place within you.

For instance, if you have a fear of a particular situation or are intimidated by an individual, endeavour not to mince your words while giving voice to your anxiety. The precision with which you choose to express yourself is indicative of your overall willingness to stare your feelings in the face without flinching. Naming and claiming may not always work if you keep this information to yourself. There will be occasions where you will find the release you desire achieve will only be found by admitting your feelings to other people. When this is the case, your ability to outline your feelings explicitly will help you to ask for the support or guidance you need without you becoming bogged down in the feelings that led you to make this admission in the first place.

So how do you identify that you have a particular feeling or emotion, and how do you define the reaction taking place within you? Sit down quietly, close your eyes and ‘listen’ to your body. What is it telling you?

For instance, do you feel a strange sensation in your stomach, or is there an uncomfortable sensation in your back, neck, arm or somewhere else? Focus on what you notice, really focus and allow it. Keep focusing on it and you will notice that once you have allowed it, the strange or uncomfortable sensation will gradually diminish and then disappear. But not before you have associated it with the feeling or emotion that had caused it.

When you have moved past that slight apprehension associated with expressing the feelings that are causing you distress out loud, you will be surprised to discover that you feel both liberated and lightened. This is because you have made a clear connection between your feelings and what is causing them allowing you to unravel the mystery that previously kept you from being in complete control of your emotional state.

The process of giving voice to your feelings allows you to let them go. Once you have let them go, you will naturally relax and rediscover your emotional equilibrium.

Contact me to have a free chat on how my coaching can help you understand and embrace your emotions.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

Coaching you to become the very best version of you so you can have more fun, live a better life and enjoy your work.

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March 26, 2014 by Maggie Currie

How to Develop a Positive Self Image in Negative Situations – Guest Blog by Lanre Solarin

It’s very easy to be overwhelmed by our problems, especially when we feel no one else is going through the same thing.

So we separate ourselves, and then either suffer in silence or bask in self pity. We tell every Tom, Dick and Harry about what we’re going through so that we’ll receive a response like, “Oh, I’m so sorry for you. It’ll be alright, okay?”

That’s one classic statement that most of us love when we’re in negative situations. But guess what?

It gets you nowhere.

Why? Because negativity doesn’t add a tint of positivity to any situation, no matter how much you “hope”.

Self pity is not a positive thinking exercise that helps you solve problems. It only allows people to sympathize with you, without giving you any actionable solutions. But unfortunately, it’s the therapy that many of us take when we suddenly end up in a bad debt or with a terrible relationship.

It gives us such a negative self image that we stop seeing the problem as something that will pass.

We begin to see that problem as if it belongs to us. This is real identity crisis. And when it gets to this stage, it means that our beliefs have been adversely affected and our image disrupted.

But there’s hope. Negative situations don’t always have to lead to negative personalities. We don’t always have to react to bad things as though the world is coming to an end.

All you need to do is learn to see yourself in the positive light. You need to learn to see the light at the end of the dark tunnel and then walk through it. Here are 3 ways to develop a positive self image even in the most negative of situations.

1. Refuse to Pity Yourself by Hating the Problem

Self pity keeps you stagnant and doesn’t drive you to try and solve the problem. On the other hand, taking action by seeking for advice gets you going from the problem spot. When I discovered that I had been plagued by inferiority complex for the first 17 years of my life, I had two choices: to feel sorry for the timidity I felt or to kick it to the curb.

The only way you can seek for a solution is to hate the problem you’re in, but not yourself. Instead, you need to love yourself so much that you wouldn’t want to associate yourself with that problem for a long time.

No matter how terrible the situation may be, you can push yourself to become a solution seeker rather than a problem carrier. To do this, ask yourself just one simple question, “Is this how miserable I want to be for the rest of my life?” If you answer “Yes” to that question, then stop reading. But if it’s a huge “NO”, watch how you’ll start to hate the problem you’re in.

2. Seek For a Solution by Being Aggressive

There are two types of aggressiveness: the misdirected one caused by the frustration of not achieving your unrealistic goals and the positive one which serves as a drive for success. The first type of aggressiveness is the reason why many people end up in self pity in the first place. The only way to seek for a solution to that problem you’re in is to make aggression your drive.

You must be ready to take “no” for an answer and not stop till you get what you want. You’ll need to start telling your sympathizers to stop being sorry for you and start giving you advice on how to get rid of the problem. You’ll need to make it clear to everyone that you’re not a victim of circumstance and that you won’t be in that mess forever.

To really do this, you’ll need to stop seeing yourself as someone who deserves to be pitied. Change your perception of yourself from that of a loser with no hope to that of a winner who can have everything working fine. Change your thinking from, “I can’t do this”, to “I can do this”.

3. Experience Gradual Success by Breaking up the Problem

Some problems are so huge and tough that it seems almost impossible to get out of them. But the good thing is that it’s never totally impossible. So what happens when you’re in a huge mess and you’re beginning to feel doubtful as to whether you’ll solve it or not? What you need to do is break it up.

The fact that you’re human means you have the ability to solve any problem you find yourself in. But to make things easier on yourself, you’ll need to start seeing the problem, not as just one huge mountain, but as a combination of rocks. Every problem can be taken apart piece by piece.

Assess that problem and determine the different things you need to do to get it solved. Divide it into steps and then make the accomplishment of each step a goal. As you complete each step and achieve each goal, let that be your drive to achieving the next one. This will help you to expect success at each step.

Being positive in the midst of negativity is not an easy task, but it’s a possible one. And it all starts from you making up your mind to become positive and then stay positive all through, regardless of how bad things may turn out.

The first step is always to make the decision to change. But after that what happens? You then manage that decision by following the three steps above. Refuse self pity to the extent that you start to hate the problem. This will help you aggressively seek out a solution and when you finally get one, approach it gradually.

By doing this, you’ll feel much better about yourself all the way and you’ll discover that nothing is too big that it cannot be solved. Even if the problem is so tough that you can’t chew on it, lick it instead :).

Lanre Solarin was once extremely negative about life until he encountered positive experiences that changed everything. You can grab a free copy of his report- Simple Steps to Positive Thinking to discover simple ways to Experience Positivity and change your life.

March 24, 2014 by Maggie Currie

How do you know when you are in need of coaching?

I know there are a lot of people who think that they are ‘fine’ and certainly have no need of coaching of any sort. They are mistaken in their belief that there is nothing anyone else can do to help them, that there is nobody else out there in the entire world who is in, or has been in, the same or similar situations as them. They continue to plod on through life without help, without looking for answers to their questions and still believing that there is nothing they or anyone else can do to change their current situations.

I know differently. I have been on both sides of that argument, and I know exactly what I am talking about. I have been there, I have resisted being coached. I thought I was fine and, because I am a coach, didn’t need any coaching. How wrong was I? Very, very wrong.

I have also been in a place where I didn’t even know coaching existed, when I was going through divorce and had no perception of a way out of despair and misery. I had no idea at that time that there were coaches out there who could help me. Had I known that help was available for me from a coach I would have been first in the queue. It would have saved me a huge amount of heartache and anguish.

Since discovering coaching and training to be a coach, learning NLP techniques and how to coach with some of the top people in the country, I have been coaching for ten years and successfully changed the lives of so many people, as well as my own. And I love every single minute of it.

But, and this is a big BUT, I resisted being coached myself because my ego kept telling me that I was okay, I was ‘fine’.

I have taken a good look at me, and my ego has been booted into the’ back of beyond’. I have hired my own coach, and I love being coached as much as I love coaching and watching people change and grow.Working with your own coach is so rewarding in a myriad of ways.

Maggie Currie

I learn something new every time I am coaching and being coached. I believe learning is vital since we are very unlikely to ever know everything.

Contact me to have a free chat on how my coaching can help you.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

I am coaching people to become the very best version of themselves so that they can have more fun, live a better life and enjoy their work.

Maggie Currie

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