Forgiveness is such an important subject that I feel compelled to spend some time explaining its significance. When we hold something unforgiven inside, we are nurturing anger, hatred and resentment or maybe even guilt. These emotions lock us into the moment, continually reliving events. Over time all this emotion can become suppressed into the subconscious, but they are still there, consuming our mental and life energy.
Until we release ourselves from this cycle, it may prove impossible to move forward. It really does not matter what the issue was, whether slight or life-shatteringly traumatic. If you want to move on you must let it go. To do this you must forgive. To forgive someone does not mean that that you condone their behaviour simply that you forgive them, and release them. By releasing and forgiving them, you release yourself.
Some people hold onto their anger, refusing to forgive or let go. They will never move on until they do. In fact, quite the reverse, by allowing such emotions to ferment inside, they grow and can become all consuming, their whole life becoming defined by whatever the event was. They are no longer in control of their life or living the life they want. They are living a life that is directed by their anger and hurt.
How our lives are, is often a reflection of our reactions to the ups and downs of life. If we choose to accept the good and release the bad, we are able to maintain control over our lives and keep our sense of direction. If however we focus on the bad things that have happened to us, then these will simply grow, continually manifesting our own dark thoughts and divert us from seeking what we really want.
If you or your life is “stuck”, then it is well worth looking back to see if there is anything unforgiven in your past. Remember to forgive everyone, especially yourself. So many people trudge through their lives burdened with guilt for this or that. Forgive yourself and let it go.
Remember, life is in the now, the past is already finished and dead and cannot be changed. Nothing you can do now, can ever change the past, yet it is amazing how many people squander their emotional and life energy, consumed with anger or guilt about the past.
In this moment now, you have your power – the power to make your choices, take your action, to make a difference. You have no power in the past and you have no assurance of power in the future. If you want to feel free, released from the past then you must forgive. Forgive everyone, especially yourself. I know how difficult it is to overcome our natural and very human feelings of anger, guilt, resentment and fear. The basis of them can seem, and may well be, completely justified, you may be completely right to have these emotions, and it is OK to experience them. However, these emotions damage your ability to move on, you must accept your emotions, but then be prepared to let them go. To release yourself, you must forgive. Until you do you will remain the victim with your life locked into all those negative emotions.
Look around you, do you know anyone like that? Some tragedy or injustice has been suffered and now the entire life of that person is defined by their anger and resentment. Every positive thought, every inspired moment, all of life’s little pleasures are subsumed with their overwhelming feelings of anger, resentment, even desire for revenge. No matter how justified their emotions are, what good is it doing them? The past can never be changed. Life is full of tragedy and joy, it is not the events of life so much as how we respond to them that defines how joyous and successful our lives are.
It is time now for you to take action and to really begin to change your life. Or you could do nothing. It is your choice. I am coaching people to become the very best version of themselves.
I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.
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Thank you for sharing these excellent words! I wish more people aware that the only person they hold back when they fail to forgive is themselves. We hold the key to this release because as you mention, the choice is fully our own 🙂