relationships

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Being ready to receive what you want

Very often we go through life with defences that we developed early on. These act as barriers or walls we needed at one time to feel safe but that now serve to shut out desired influences, like intimacy or love. In order to get what we want in life, we have to be willing to receive it when it appears, and in order to do that, we have to be open. An essential part of being ready to receive what we want is to soften these barriers enough to let those things in when they show up. For example, we may spend a lot of time alone as a way to protect ourselves from being hurt by other people, but this prevents us from meeting new friends.

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Another obstacle to receiving can be our tendency to believe that we have to act aggressively in order to achieve our desired goal. These types of beliefs can give us tunnel vision, so we fail to see and be open to other opportunities. Becoming ready to receive often involves softening our defences and fostering a willingness to remain open to possibilities outside our immediate realm of vision.

If we are looking for love or friendship, it means first looking within ourselves to see where we are shut down and then, not getting too fixated on where we might find the love we want. In this way, we become more open as individuals and more expansive in terms of what we see as possible.

If this has resonated with you get in touch today. Through personalised guidance, I help you develop a positive mindset and create lasting changes in your life. What are you not happy with in your life? What are you happy with in your life? Find out how to change some of your habits for a better life.

Get in touch today. Email hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Many people don’t realise the importance of working with a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

Get in touch today.

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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How to handle the split loyalties with friends when they separate

I think we have all had this dilemma.  Who do we stay friends with after a couple divorces or separates? Hopefully you can stay friends with both parties, but that can be difficult as we are often dealing with human emotions and judgemental attitudes. Realistically, the divorcing couple will expect you to commit to one side or the other and this often establishes itself way before the final separation or divorce. This is due to our blame culture – it’s always someone else’s fault – when actually there will be many circumstances that overlap and maybe many years later after a lot of reflective thought  we realise each partner was partly to blame for the failure of that relationship. How can you handle the initial expectation to now ignore one or other former partner? It can be really tough for friends of separating partners – which one do you invite to the family party –  can you invite both? – What will happen if they meet at the family wedding? – What will happen if each one brings a new partner?

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All I can say is there is no set advice or guidance in the form of a one size fits all answer. However, common sense dictates procedures to adopt in order to ensure that your former couple remain friends long after the divorce or separation. Always try to balance being sympathetic and understanding to both friends without actually agreeing to any of their own conclusions regarding blame etc. – remember your only hearing one side of a very unbalanced perspective. Don’t reinforce any biased viewpoints – remain impartial. This will need exemplary diplomatic skills and can actually be both challenging and rewarding.

Make it clear you may still see or respond to each former partner from time to time for obvious and practical reasons. It needs to be made clear by way of simple inexplicit references with your normal conversations that this will happen. It ensures that you are not accused of being a ‘Judas’ and losing the confidence or friendship of either party when they find out that you have had contact with their former partner. Never, ever say to either party what you really thought of their former partner. Just remember that a high proportion of separating couples do actually end up getting back together again. There will of course be a whole host of anomalies that will occur that will need careful thoughtful planning on what your responses will be for each individual case of a divorcing couple. It won’t be easy. But trying to frame your responses within these guidance rules should ensure that your friendship is retained and remains flexible for most situations that may occur over the coming years.

If this has resonated with you in any way, and you would like help to make your life enhancing decisions, get in touch hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk. Work with me, improve your confidence in yourself and and see how much more you can achieve. Relearn how to live your life in the front row, re-take control of your own life. 

Many people don’t realise the importance of working with a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

Get in touch today.

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Knowing when to let someone go

It’s common to maintain a relationship because we feel the other person needs us or we believe that they will eventually change. We may also be afraid of hurting the other person or feel insecure in our ability to find new relationships. Just as a good relationship can have a positive impact on your life, stressful, draining, or imbalanced relationships can have negative effects on your health and well-being. But knowing when to end a relationship and acknowledging that the pain will pass can often prevent greater pain and feelings of loss in the long run.

If you’re in a relationship that isn’t satisfying or one that has become unhealthy for you, rather than spending energy attempting to fix a problem or complaining, ask yourself what you really want from the relationship. Consider whether the other person truly considers your feelings or if they are willing to change their behaviour. Ask yourself if you’ve often thought about ending the relationship or if you feel your bonds have atrophied. While every relationship has ups and downs, when there are more downs than ups or the two of you are bringing out the worst in each other, it may be time to sever the connection. Be honest with yourself and your answers, even if the truth is painful.

Relationships thrive on honesty, communication, mutual caring, and time spent together. When one or more of these elements are missing, it may be that the relationship, no matter how passionate, simply isn’t worth it. It’s far better to end a relationship that doesn’t feel right than to hold on to it and languish in feelings of anger or resentment. Moving on without struggle, on the other hand, can be the door that leads you to a more nurturing relationship in the future.

If this has resonated with you in any way, and you would like to start living your life in the driving seat rather than the passenger seat, please get in touch. hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk. Work with me, improve your confidence and learn how to maintain or exit a relationship. Relearn how to live your life in the front row, take control of your own life. 

Work with me. Many people don’t realise the importance of securing a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

Get in touch today.

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Maintaining our energy and confidence levels

The people with whom we have the most contact and hang around with will have either a positive or negative effect on our levels of self-esteem and confidence.  We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around.

How do they make you feel?

Yes, they make me feel the same!  The positive thinking people can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with ‘can do’ vibes that has a knock on effect onto everyone else. They are a joy to be around and bring our energy levels up and increase our self confidence.

We also know of those people who drain the energy from a room!

It is their perception that they never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – need I go on?

These people have the power to drain our energy and bring us down to their level, a million miles away from the level that WE want to be operating on. But they only have that power if we allow them to.

Some family members can be a lot like this as well,  we can always choose our friends, we can never choose your relatives! We can choose what are prepared to listen to though.

So what can we do to make sure that the people who we hang around with empower and support what we stand for, rather than bring us down all of the time?

  • We have the power to choose who we hang around with. Ideally we want happy, vibrant and positive people. If we hang around with those types of people, the negative ones will disappear as they won’t be able to cope.
  •  If we have good friends who are negative and yet we still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how it feels  – if they are a true friend they will respect this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.
  • The same can be said with family. Our more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years and years and from different eras. They have learned their behaviours from their parents and grandparents. Appreciate where they have come from and, as above, acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.
  • Remember, that nothing has meaning in our lives except the meaning that we give it.

We are in control of our positivity and negativity, and nobody can take that away from us.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Confidence sapping friends, family and colleagues

Although it is a well known fact, there are still some people who are totally unaware that the people with whom they have the most contact and hang around will have either a positive or negative effect on their levels of self-esteem and confidence.  We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around. How do they make you feel? Yes, they make you feel the same!  They can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with positive, ‘can do’ vibes that has a zingy knock on effect onto everyone else.

We also know of those people who could moan for England, and continually do! Often the least confident people are the ones who moan about how hard done by they are, how they are overlooked for promotion, how they are never chosen for this team or that project.  They don’t realise how damaging they are to themselves and to other people. They claim they never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and they are negative thinkers – need I go on?

These people drain your energy and try to bring you down to their level, a million miles away from the level that YOU want to be operating on. Work colleagues can be like this and will affect you and your confidence levels if you allow them to.  When you have spend your working days with negative people, try to block out as much of the negativity as possible.  If there is one particular person who continually drags you down, take them to one side and explain how you feel and ask them to be more considerate of your feelings. Family members can be a lot like this as well, but although you can always choose your friends, you can never choose your relatives!

So what can you do to make sure that the people who you hang around with empower and support what you stand for, rather than bring you down all of the time?

You have the power to choose who you hang around with. Ideally you want happy, vibrant and positive people. You also have the power to choose who you don’t hang around with.  Be selective. If you have good friends who are negative and yet you still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how you feel – if they are a true friend they will respect you for this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity. The same can be said with family. Your more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years and years by their parents, teachers etc., and the conditioning has come from different eras. Appreciate where they have come from and be selective with the information that filters through to your brain. Discard the negative.

Remember, nobody can reduce your confidence levels unless you allow them to.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Coming back to centre in a relationship

Anyone in a long-term relationship knows that coming together and moving apart is all part of the journey.  Early in a relationship, intense periods of closeness are vital to establish the ground of a new union. Just as a sapling needs a lot more attention than a full-grown tree, budding relationships demand time and attention if they are to fully take root. Once they become more established, the individuals in the relationship begin to turn their attention outward again, to the other parts of their lives that matter equally, such as work, family, and friendships. This is both natural and healthy. Yet, if a long-term relationship is to last, turning towards one another recurrently, with the same curiosity, attention, and care as in earlier times, is essential.

In a busy and demanding world full of obligations and opportunities, we sometimes lose track of our primary relationships, thinking they will take care of themselves. We may have the best intentions when we think about how nice it would be to surprise our partner with a gift or establish a weekly date night. Yet somehow, life gets in the way. We may think that our love is strong enough to survive without attention. Yet even mature trees need water and care if they are to thrive.

One of the best ways to nourish a relationship is through communication. If you feel that a distance has grown between you and your partner, you may be able to bridge the gap by sharing how you feel. Do your best to avoid blame and regret. Focus instead on the positive, which is the fact that you want to grow closer together. Sometimes, just acknowledging that there is distance between you has the effect of bringing the relationship into balance. In other cases, more intense effort and attention may be required. You may want to set aside time to talk and come up with solutions together. Remember to have compassion for each other. You’re in the same boat together and trying to maintain the right balance of space and togetherness to keep your relationship healthy and thriving. Express belief, love and confidence in each other, and enjoy the slow dance of intimacy that can resume between the two of you.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Fear can block our creativity

That sounds daft I know but take a moment to imagine yourself telling a story.  Imagine yourself telling the story to someone you love and who loves you.  You probably feel warmth and energy as you fill in the details of your tale to your friend’s delight, the feedback, even without words,  is positive.  Now, imagine telling that same story to someone who, for whatever reason, makes you uncomfortable.  The wonderful descriptions, the fine points and colourful images that unfolded in your mind for your friend probably won’t present themselves.  Instead of warmth, energy, and creativity, you will most likely feel opposite sensations and a desire to close down.  When we feel unsafe, whether we fear being judged, disliked, or misunderstood, our creative flow stops. Alternately, when we feel safe, our creativity unfolds like a beautiful flower, without conscious effort.

young couple in casual clothes enjoying coffee and chatting

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

Being aware of this is a positive as we can maximize our creative potential by creating the conditions that inspire our creativity. In order to really be in the flow, we need to feel safe and unrestricted. Being in the flow is something that happens, not created.  It happens because we are so enthralled and wrapped up in what we are doing, that time flies by and before we know it a whole day has gone by.  Achieving being in the flow is not as simple as avoiding people who make us feel uncomfortable. Sometimes we can be alone in a room and still feel totally blocked. When this happens, we know we have come up against elements in our own psyches that are making us feel uneasy and fearful. Perhaps we are afraid that in expressing ourselves we will discover something we don’t want to know, or unleash emotions or ideas that we don’t want to be responsible for. Or maybe we’re afraid we’ll fail to produce something worthy.

When you’re up against fear, internal or external, ritual can be a creative and powerful antidote. Ensure you have everything you need to be creative. Have your right pens, paper, equipment ready.  Make sure you have a drink nearby, and something to snack on.  Play your favourite music if it helps.  Think about what creates the perfect space for you to be in the flow, and then let it happen naturally.  You cannot force it.  Flow will happen when your setting is right, when you are not fearful or being judged and you feel safe and warm.  Take a moment to bathe in the warmth of this feeling and then fearlessly surrender yourself to the power that flows through you.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Choosing to have a partner or being single

The ways we choose to love can be as unique as the way we choose to stay healthy, entertain ourselves or make a living.  Some people choose to enter into a partnership with a special individual, while others find immense satisfaction in staying single. There is no right or wrong way to be in your life when it comes to deciding whether or not to be in a relationship, even though society as a whole tends to put an emphasis on romantic partnerships. Whether you choose to go through life as part of a romantic relationship or live as a single unit, there are benefits to both. Feel absolutely free to be comfortable with whatever choice is right for you.

man in black long sleeved shirt and woman in black dress

Photo by Jasmine Wallace Carter on Pexels.com

Choosing to be single is a wonderful way to spend time discovering yourself.  You will have more time and space to discover what and how you want your life to be without having to keep someone else’s choices in mind.  Being single gives you the freedom to do what you want at a moment’s notice and the pride that comes with facing life on your own terms.  Companionship, support, and affection will be found while spending quality time with your friends, colleagues, and relatives.  There is also the fun that comes with being able to date many different people without having to make a commitment.  Choosing to have a partner, on the other hand, brings with it an opportunity to share your life with another person.  There is comfort in the knowledge that you are facing the world with someone as a united front.  When life is challenging, you are in a position to strengthen, as well as give each other comfort. There is also the inevitable transformation of self that comes from allowing another person to be so intimately a part of your life.

Remember that what is right for one person may not be right for another, and people can change their minds about wanting to be with another person or wanting to be alone many times over the course of their lives.  Whether you seek out a partner or live the single life, embracing it fully will ensure that either choice is as fulfilling as possible for you.

I would love to hear from you about your experiences.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Our changing nests

Once we become parents, we are parents forevermore. our identities change perceptively the moment Mother Nature inaugurates us as mum or dad. Yet the role we undertake when we welcome children into our lives is not a fixed one. As children move from one phase of their lives to the next, parental roles change. When these transitions involve a child gaining independence, many parents experience an empty nest feeling. Instead of feeling proud that their children have achieved so much—whether the flight from the nest refers to the first day of nursery or the start of college—parents feel they are losing a part of themselves. However, when approached thoughtfully, this new stage of parental life can be an exciting time in which mothers and fathers rediscover themselves and relate to their children in a new way.

sisters

As children earn greater levels of independence, parents often gain unanticipated freedom. Used to being depended upon by and subject to the demands of their children, parents sometimes forget that they are not only mum or dad but also individuals. As the nest empties, parents can alleviate the anxiety and sadness they feel by rediscovering themselves and honouring the immense strides their children have made in life. The simplest way to honour a child undergoing a transition is to allow that child to make decisions and mistakes appropriate to their level of maturity. Freed from the role of disciplinarian, parents of college-age children can befriend their offspring and undertake an advisory position. Those with younger children beginning school or teenagers taking a first job can plan a special day in which they express their pride and explain that they will always be there to offer love and support.

happychildren
An empty nest can touch other members of the family unit as well. Young people may feel isolated or abandoned when their siblings leave the nest. As this is normal, extra attention can help them feel more secure in their newly less populated home. Spouses with more leisure time on their hands may need to relearn how to be best friends and lovers. Other family members will likely grieve less when they understand the significance of the child’s new phase of life. The more parents both celebrate and honour their children’s life transitions, the less apprehension the children will feel. Parents who embrace their changing nest while still cherishing their offspring can look forward to developing deeper, more mature relationships with them in the future.

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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The Best We Can Be – honouring our children

Everything we do and say in the presence of our children makes an impression on them. We may think we can get away with swearing or gossiping in front of them when they can’t talk, but we have forgotten that just because they can’t talk doesn’t mean they don’t hear. They are sensitive sponges absorbing their environment in ways we will never know. Even if the words don’t make sense to them, they make an impression, as does the energy behind the words. We honour our children when we acknowledge that they are fully present from the very beginning and when we offer ourselves to them in ways that model the best of what humans can be.

sisters

When we bring a child into the world, a great welling up of love and hope fills our hearts. We unequivocally want the very best for our children, and we want to be the best parents a child could ever want. We begin to see ourselves and our lives in a different light, and things that seemed okay before we had a child suddenly reveal themselves as problematical. This can lead to a somewhat mincing review of our habits of speech, thought and feeling, our relationships, and our physical habits. We may feel that we have put ourselves under a microscope, which can be stressful. However, it can also lead to a great healing of our own unresolved issues and, in turn, it enables us to be good parents to our children. Talking to other conscious parents about this life transformation can be very helpful.

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Our desire to become the best we can be is often strongest at the very beginning of a child’s life and sometimes loses its intensity as we grow accustomed to their presence. However, it is never too late to look at ourselves and notice whether we are offering our best to our children. That original welling up of love and hope can inspire us throughout our lives to be the best we can be.

If anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make changes if you want to in your life. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk