feelings

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Forgiveness – releasing the past

Forgiveness is such an important subject that I feel compelled to spend some time explaining its significance. When we hold something unforgiven inside, we are nurturing anger, hatred and resentment or maybe even guilt. These emotions lock us into the moment, continually reliving events.  Over time all this emotion can become suppressed into the subconscious, but they are still there, consuming our mental and life energy. Until we release ourselves from this cycle it may prove impossible to move forward.

It really does not matter what the issue was, whether slight or life-shatteringly traumatic. If you want to move on you must let it go. To do this you must forgive. To forgive someone does not mean that that you condone their behaviour simply that you forgive them, and release them. By releasing and forgiving them, you release yourself.

Dealing with emotional abuse

Some people hold onto their anger, refusing to forgive or let go.  They will never move on until they do. In fact quite the reverse, by allowing such emotions to ferment inside, they grow and can become all consuming, their whole life becoming defined by whatever the event was. They are no longer in control of their life or living the life they want. They are living a life that is directed by their anger and hurt.

How our lives are, is often a reflection of our reactions to the ups and downs of life.  If we choose to accept the good and release the bad, we are able to maintain control over our lives and keep our sense of direction.  If however we  focus on the bad things that have happened to us, then these will simply grow, continually manifesting our own dark thoughts and divert us from seeking what we really want.

If you or your life is “stuck” then it is well worth looking back to see if there is anything unforgiven in your past.  Remember to forgive everyone, especially yourself.  So many people trudge through their lives burdened with guilt for this or that, forgive yourself  and let it go.

Remember, life is in the now, the past is already finished and dead and cannot be changed. Nothing you can do now, can ever change the past, yet it is amazing how many people squander their emotional and life energy, consumed with anger or guilt about the past.

In this moment now you have your power – the power to make your choices, take your action, to make a difference.  You have no power in the past and you have no assurance of power in the future.

Happy young woman with a white background

If you want to feel free, released from the past  then you must forgive.  Forgive everyone, especially yourself. I know how difficult it is to overcome our natural and very human feelings of anger, guilt, resentment and fear. The basis of them can seem, and may well be, completely justified, you may be completely right to have these emotions and it is OK to experience them.  However, these emotions damage your ability to move on, you must accept your emotions but then be prepared to let them go. To release yourself, you must forgive. Until you do you will remain the victim with your life locked into all those negative emotions.

Look around you, do you know anyone like that?  Some tragedy or injustice has been suffered and now the entire life of that person is defined by their anger and resentment. Every positive thought, every inspired moment, all of life’s little pleasures are subsumed with their overwhelming feelings of anger, resentment, even desire for revenge. No matter how justified their emotions are, what good is it doing them? The past can never be changed. The future is an incomplete equation.  Life is full of tragedy and joy, it is not the events of life so much as how we respond to them that defines how joyous and successful our lives are.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Conquer the fear of failure

Fear of failure is probably the single, greatest obstacle to success in our adult lives. We become totally preoccupied with seeking approval and not making a mistake. The fear of failure is often expressed in the words  “I can’t”.  We feel it in a physical way by the fast beating of the heart, rapid breathing and a tight throat. We can also experience this in the irresistible need to run to the loo.

Our second major fear that creates an obstacle in our performance is the fear of rejection.  We learn this at a very early age when our parents or guardians make their love conditional upon our behaviour.  In many cases, if we do something to please them, they give us love and approval. If we do something to displease them, they withdraw their love and approval – which we often interpret as rejection.

Going through divorce or break up of a relationship, being made redundant or retirement can trigger these feelings of failure.  But remember, you haven’t failed……the relationship failed with either your partner or your employer.  You did not fail.

How do I know I am in a relationship that is bad for me?

As adults , we become preoccupied with the opinions of others because of this perceived rejection.  Many people develop hostility, suspicion and an obsession with performance to some imagined high standard.  This is a belief that we have to work harder and accomplish more in order to please the boss.  The boss has been replaced as the parent and is perceived as the approval giver.

Research has shown that more than 99 percent of adults experience both these fears of failure and rejection.  They are caught in the vicious circle of feeling, “I can’t, but “I have to,” and “I have to,” but “I can’t.”

We can beat  these so called fears by remembering that fear is a thought. It doesn’t exist until we think about it.  We can increase our self-love and self-respect.  By not thinking about fear we can make those ‘fears’ subside and they are unable to affect our behaviour and our decisions.

Put the past behind you, it cannot be changed. The future is an incomplete equation. We have no way of knowing what is going to happen in the future. If we think we know, we are making up a scenario. We are not afraid of what we think we are afraid of – we are afraid of what we think.  We can only live in this moment.  Take a deep breath, relax into this moment.  Allow yourself to just be.

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Remember, you are wonderful. You are a valuable and important person.  What you think is ‘failure’ is temporary and it is how you learn.  Absorb all that you learn and become the valuable and important person that you know you are.

If this resonates with you, and you would like to learn more and how I can help you,  get in touch with me today. I would like to hear from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

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Friends and family who sap your positive energy

The people with whom you have the most contact and who hang around you will have either a positive or negative effect on your levels of self-esteem and confidence.

We all know people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around. They are pleasure to know.

Have you noticed how they make you feel?

They tend to make you feel the same as them, happy and positive! They can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with positive, ‘can do’ vibes, and that has a knock on effect onto everyone else.

iStock_000006933714Medium (2)

On the other hand, we also know of those people who are the opposite and who can moan for England, and continually do so!

According to them they never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like other people to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – and so much more!

These people have the ability to drain the energy from the room, and  they bring everyone down to their level, they make everyone feel miserable.  This is a million miles away from the level that YOU want to be operating on.

Have you noticed how they make you feel?

How do I know I am in a relationship that is bad for me?

 

It is often the case that some family members can be a lot like this. However, whilst you can usually choose your friends, you have little or no choice with your family!

So what can you do to make sure that the people who you have most contact with empower and support what you stand for rather than bring you down all of the time?

You have the power to choose who you have contact with. Ideally you want happy, vibrant and positive people. If there are people who are constantly draining your positive energy you have a couple of options.  One option is to tell the draining people exactly how you feel and if they are really good friends they will respect your wishes and may change their behaviour. If they drift into the negative again, try to ignore it.  Interestingly if they aren’t really good friends, they will drift away and go to find someone else to drain. Another option is to distance yourself from the negative people, they may or may not notice.  If they do and want to know why, explain to them how you feel.  If they don’t, all to the good they are directing their negativity at someone else.

The same can be said for your family.  Your more mature relatives have been conditioned for many, many years and are a different generation.  Appreciate where they have come from whilst being selective with the information that filters through to your brain.  You have the same choices as with your friends for the younger relatives, tell them how you feel and they will either change something or drift away.

Don’t attach any guilt to your decisions, as it is your life and if you are tired of the negativity, it is time for you to do something about it.

You may well find that you will make new friends who are positive and upbeat and some members of your family may reappear who have also removed themselves from negative relatives.

If this resonates with you, and you would like to learn more about my work and how I can help you,  get in touch with me today. I would like to hear from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Impacting lives

A year ago I verbalised that I intended to impact the lives of a million people and help them to become the authentic people that they are. Help them to rebuild their confidence in themselves and their abilities and become functioning human beings again. The functioning human beings they were before they forgot how to function.

I was inspired by both my daughter’s journey through leaving an abusive marriage, staying in a refuge and making a new life and home for herself and her children.  Plus I was inspired by the work of a High Chief in Malawi who has annulled all the marriages of young girls and is getting them back into education.
Since that time I have written a comprehensive six module course, talked to domestic abuse services, safeguarding teams, ladies who have escaped from abusive relationships, gentlemen who have been homeless, have been addicts and are now on the road to recovery.
In January 2017, having applied for and been granted Lottery funding as Break the Cycle Community Interest Company  we are running two courses in Havant for ladies who have escaped from abusive relationships and one course here on the Isle of Wight for ladies who have been in abusive relationships.

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It is definitely a start, and I will reach that one million target, maybe not next year, but it will happen.

If this resonates with you, and you would like to learn more about my work,  get in touch with me today. I would like to hear from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Do you always need to defend yourself?

Living with people who are verbally abusive or verbally aggressive can be very demanding on your time and energy.  But does it have to be that way?

The abusive or aggressive person often wants you to defend yourself or explain yourself.  This is abusive behaviour, controlling, demeaning and only you can decide if you are willing to tolerate it.  Some people have tolerated this behaviour for many decades, probably because they are scared of what other people might say or think, scared about what would happen if they stood up to the bully, and even scared of what life would be like if they were to leave and begin a new life for themselves.

There is a lovely quote from Sophia Dembling “If you can plant yourself on solid ground in your head and heart, other people won’t be able to throw you off balance.  No need to debate or justify your stance.  Explain yourself if you want, bu you needn’t defend yourself.”

tiredwoman

The bully is usually sweetness and light when anyone else is around, but when there is nobody else there they can be constantly verbally abusive and aggressive.  This is typical behaviour from a bully who, if confronted, will usually back down because they are usually cowards too.  They want control of you and this is the only way they know how.  And because they have got away with it for years, and because you think you can’t do anything about it, they will continue in the same way.

So, what can you do about this verbally abusive and aggressive person?  You have several options available to you.  You can put up with it, you can ignore it (not so easy I know), you can try and persuade the bully to go to counselling with you or you can decide you are not going to tolerate it any longer and leave the relationship.

The excuses will roll around your head one after the other – They won’t be able to cope without me, what will I do on my own, what if…………?

Dealing with emotional abuse

But you have to decide what is best for you, and only you.  It is your life and you deserve to be able to live it in your way without the constant abuse and aggressiveness.  The abuser has chosen their path and they are happy to be on it as they are in control of you and they know exactly what they are doing to make you unhappy and make you believe that if you were to leave them that this would happen or that would happen, and they will come out with a large range of scenarios.  All of these scenarios will sound plausible, because that is what they are good at.  Making you feel inadequate.

So it is up to you to decide what you want to do.  Do you want to stay and be constantly verbally abused and spoken to aggressively?  If not, seek some professional help so you can make an informed decision about your life.

Are you ready to make changes? Work with me and learn to live life from the inside out gain more freedom, more fun and less stress.

You will discover how your mind only works one way – from the inside out.  Your life will be more productive, enjoyable and fulfilling.

Here is a lovely testimonial from one of my clients: ‘Maggie intuitively knew that the path I was on wasn’t the way I truly wanted to go. She allowed me to see that my passions were elsewhere and opened my mind to the possibilities ahead of me. I changed my path and have never looked back. Maggie was totally right.’ – MV, UK

So get in touch with me today.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

 

 

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The future is in your imagination

I was reading a post that a friend created on Facebook.  I am going to call her Anne. It went something along the lines of she had to travel to London on the train tomorrow and there will be a strike.  She made up this scenario of thousands of people trying to cram themselves onto a train to get into London.  Anne thought she would be late for a meeting.  She was worrying that she would be late and so the thoughts went on.

Anne was thinking about the future, and the future hasn’t happened yet.  It is in our imaginations.  It isn’t reality.  Just the like the past – it was our reality once, but not any longer.  The only reality we have is now in this moment.  The future isn’t our reality because it hasn’t happened yet.

Stressed Businesswoman

So today, in her actual reality, Anne has found that the train she got on was fairly empty, she got a seat and she got to London on time for her meeting.  This is Anne’s reality now.

All that worrying Anne did about whether she would be late, be squashed on a train made her anxious in the moment.  That was her reality.  Anxious thinking.  Anne’s imagination had created this whole scenario and she believed it.

We have somewhere in the region of 80,000 thoughts a day.  Some of them we are totally unaware of, these thoughts are the ones that keep us alive.  We don’t consciously think breathe in, breathe out thousands of times a day. We don’t consciously think about driving when we drive.  Those thoughts are in our subconscious and run in the background.

The thoughts we are aware of in our conscious mind are the ones that flit in and out of our heads.  Some of them we catch and some of them pass through with little or no notice.

We don’t have to believe all the thoughts that appear in our mind.  We can recognise them and discard them, we can recognise and believe them.  But we don’t have to believe them all, especially the ones that are about future events and how bad or good they are going to be. The future is in our imaginations.

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Do you want clarity about your current situation, about what really matters in life, the choices you want to make and who you really are?

Are you ready to make changes? Working with me and learning to live life from the inside out will bring you more freedom, more fun and less stress.

You will discover how your mind only works one way – from the inside out.  Your life will be more productive, enjoyable and fulfilling.

So get in touch with me and we can get a date in the diary for an initial chat.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Why, what, how and what?

Why would you want to work with me?

I have over a decade of experience as a coach and mentor and have worked with an amazing array of people from all walks of life.

Here is a comment from one of my clients in the USA:

“‘Oh, what a wonderful call I just had with Maggie, she has a way of coaxing out of me things and putting others in proper perspective. Feeling so much better, the little residual of melancholy about the fourth of July was gone by the end of the call. Great feeling letting it go. Now to get on with the rest of the day I am feeling very upbeat’.” – VB, USA

Additionally I have extensive qualifications, having worked hard on my own personal and professional development:

And I am currently working with Jenny and Rudi Kennard to become an Innate Wellbeing Facilitator.

My vast experience includes:

graduated

What do I provide?

Coaching and mentoring either individually or in groups to help you reach clarity about your current situation, about what really matters in life, the choices you want to make and who you really are?

I can help you with:

  • Personal development
  • Career development
  • Anxieties and stress
  • Relationship issues
  • Limiting inner beliefs

and so much more………………………

Here is a comment from a gentleman I coached a few years ago:

“I was helped immensely by Maggie in finding my way with the career I wanted, She was non judgemental and patient and made me focus on what I really wanted. I knew she was a good coach, but it wasn’t until I implemented what I learned that found out what a great coach Maggie is. Can’t recommend her highly enough.” – CG, UK

I provide results for my clients.

theworldisyourcanvas

How does it work?

Initially we will have a completely free, no obligation chat.  We will get to know each other better and I will get a sense of what is you want to achieve.  If you and I agree to work together, we will get a date in the diary for your first coaching session.

Case study:

A young lady came to me saying she was unhappy in her life and working together she came to realise that her relationship with her partner was stagnating.  She made the decision to leave the relationship.  Since then she has found her soul mate and challenged herself to do some really challenging things in her life.  To name a few things she has achieved:  Gone through astronaut training at NASA, experienced weightlessness in a plane, taught a class in Italy and many other things.

Here is a comment from a gentleman I worked with:

“Maggie has great experience of dealing with life situations in a positive way. I have seen people grow within themselves during several of her presentations and seminars. She deals with people in a non-judgemental and constructive way, whilst challenging them to look at their view of them selves and to re-evaluate their own self-worth.” – KC, UK

top100coaches

What if you did work with me?

Everyone of us was born for greatness and we knew that, until we forgot! Working with me will help you remember again.

When you start to see the true power of thought and its relationship to your way of living your life, your transformations will begin and you will better understand yourself and the world in which you live.

You will discover how your mind only works one way – from the inside out.  Your life will be more productive, enjoyable and fulfilling.

If you do nothing but hope your life will change, it won’t.  Be certain your life will change when you work with me.

So get in touch with me and we can get a date in the diary for an initial chat.

I am offering YOU 3 coaching sessions for the bargain price of £247 (usually £1500). So grab a bargain whilst you can!  Offer ends 31st October 2016.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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How do I know I have low self-esteem?

Low self-esteem manifests itself in a variety of ways, and I should know I have been there.  For me the following was very true:

  • I didn’t think I was good enough.
  • I thought everyone else thought they were good enough.
  • I didn’t look after myself, I put others first.
  • I let people manipulate me.
  • I was in a bad relationship.
  • I felt sad and thought there must be more to life than this.
  • I constantly asked other people for their opinion, I didn’t think I knew anything.
  • I was verbally and emotionally abused and never felt I was worthy.

I started out with the intention of being happy when I got married at age 19, but soon discovered that the marriage was not working as I was constantly treated like an idiot, not allowed to develop as me, told I was worthless and became a possession.  This situation went on for 12 years and my self-esteem nose-dived.  Whilst in that relationship I had no idea that it wasn’t normal, I thought every marriage was the same.

Dealing with emotional abuse

I woke up one morning and a thought crept into my mind.  This is not normal, there has to be something different.  I summoned the courage to seek some help and explained my situation to a solicitor and he confirmed it was not normal. I decided there and then I had to get out of that relationship.

Getting out of that relationship led me to become a single parent, living in a small flat with three small children, no money, no job, no prospects and I felt there was no hope.  My self-esteem went down even further.

Something had to change, and there was one day that sticks in my mind when things began to change.  I had the flu and the children all had chicken pox.  We were sitting huddled in the living room trying to keep warm and I had only one coin left for the electric meter.  Something had to change and very soon or none of us were going to get through this.

I phoned my parents and asked them to bring me some 50p pieces for the meter.  This didn’t change anything immediately, but it did help us to get better.  I resolved that I could get a job, I was capable and I was going to change mine and my children’s lives.

The very next week I went out and got a job cooking school meals in the school my children attended.  It meant I was there when they went to school and when they came home. I was there in the school holidays.  But it also meant I was independent, no longer reliant on benefits and other people.  I was changing my life.

Does anything resonate with you yet? Can you see the likenesses in your life at the moment? Well I can assure you, there is hope.

It took me a while, some years, but I found the answers to rebuilding my self-esteem and my life to such an extent that I run two successful businesses that I set up and I am a published author. I married again and have been very happily married for 32 years to a wonderful man who loves me.  I have spent over a decade as a life coach and mentor and work with people who have no self-esteem and help them to re-build it and I love every minute of it. I know how it feels, I know it hurts and that’s why I can help so many people.  I am still learning, life is a school and I attend every day.

Dealing with emotional abuse

 

So what can you do right now to begin to change your situation and start to re-build your self-esteem?

  • Stop thinking that you are not good enough. You most definitely are.
  • Begin to look after yourself, put yourself first. It is not selfish – it is essential.
  • Before you think that you don’t have the answer stop, really think about the question, the answer is there, you just have to find it deep down inside yourself.
  • There is more to life than you have now, it is out there waiting for you. What is it that you want? Picture it in your head, write it down, look for it , open your mind to it.
  • Listen to your intuition. Really listen. It is telling you what is right for you now in this moment.

By changing your attitude towards yourself other people will change their attitudes towards you, it will take time, but it will happen.

Begin today to change your life. You deserve to be happy and to be yourself. You deserve to have high self-esteem.

If you would like to find out more about living in the moment and rebuilding your self-esteem,  get in touch and let’s have a conversation.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

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Stress – what is it?

Have you set yourself goals that you think you want to achieve?  If so, are they actually achievable?  And more importantly are they really necessary?

There is stress around setting goals.  You make them mean something about your worth and value and this creates pressure as you strive to achieve them.  And if you do achieve them, will there still be something missing?

screaming

So, let’s imagine you want to test out how stressed you are.

If you feel you have to make it happen you are putting a huge responsibility on your shoulders.  You think you are on your own.  You work hard at gaining more knowledge, you work harder and keep a very tight control.  You make it all about your personal commitment and discipline.  You want to prove yourself to yourself, and to everyone else, or you think you will lose everything.

We force ourselves out of our comfort zones feeling stress and fear all the way along.

On the other hand, you could leave it all up to the Universe.  This mean you sit and wait for the conditions of your environment or in your mind to be perfect………  This is very unlikely to happen.  So you feel stressed whilst you wait.

Happy young woman with a white background

Alternatively, and more sensibly you can use your free will and make decisions from your innate wisdom and stay on course when have stressful thinking.  It is your thoughts that cause the stress, since stress itself does not exist until we create it.

So relax into what it is you want to achieve, live in the moment.  Don’t think about the future as it hasn’t happened yet.  Don’t think about what you did in the past, nothing can change that. Do what you feel is right in the moment and your stress levels will reduce and you may even find that you have no need to set goals at all.

If you would like to find out more about living in the moment and reducing your stress levels,  get in touch and let’s have a conversation.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Allowing your reality to be

There are times when we notice something about ourselves, our relationships and indeed our whole world that we feel needs to change.  Some of us expound about how something or somebody needs to change in order to achieve our desired outcome.  Others of us take action and start to work on our inner selves or work on a outer goal.

What we often find is that, without us doing anything at all, the change that we desire has happened and it would appear we have had nothing to do with it.

It could be viewed as a miracle, but in fact the change has happened from the inside out.  Our thoughts are very powerful and by accepting or rejecting some thoughts we live in the reality of our creation. Our thoughts only work one way, from the inside out.

oneway

When we are experiencing anxiety over something that may or may not happen, we are actually experiencing anxious thoughts.  There isn’t anything in the future to be anxious about, it hasn’t happened yet and indeed may never happen.  Once we accept we are experiencing anxious thinking, we can let it go and come back to our current reality.

We are built for reality and each of us has our own reality.  We each have a different experience of an event.

Business people communicating with each other against white

Take a theatrical performance.  Each and everyone in the audience will have their own experience of that performance.  Some will experience laughter, some will experience boredom, some will experience wonder and so on.  Each and every one of us lives in our reality created by our thoughts in the moment.

When you start to see the true power of thought and its relationship to your way of living your life, how thought generates your experiences, your transformations will begin and you will better understand yourself and the world in which you live.

If you would like to find out more, get in touch and let’s have a conversation.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/Maggie-Currie-Coaching-527886050648208/?ref=hl
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk