Confidence sapping friends and colleagues

The people with whom you have the most contact and hang around will have either a positive or negative effect on your levels of self-esteem and confidence.  We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around. How do they make you feel? Yes, they make you feel the same!  They can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with positive, can do vibes that has a knock on effect onto everyone else.

Photo by Matheus Bertelli on Pexels.com

We also know of those people who could moan for England! They never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers. These people drain your energy and bring you down to their level, a million miles away from the level that YOU want to be operating on . Family members can be a lot like this as well, but you can always choose your friends, you can’t choose your relatives! So what should you do to make sure that the people who you hang around with empower and support what you stand for rather than bring you down all of the time?

You have the power to choose who you hang around with. Ideally you want happy, vibrant and positive people.  If you have good friends who are negative and yet you still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how you feel – if they are a true friend they will respect you for this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity. The same can be said with family. Your more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years and years and from different eras. Appreciate where they have come from and as in number 2 above, elicit and select the information that filters through to your brain. Remember, that nothing has meaning in life except the meaning that you give it.

If this has resonated with you get in touch today. Through personalised guidance, I will help you to create your own boundaries so you will rebuild confidence in yourself.

Get in touch today. Email hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Many people don’t realise the importance of working with a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

Get in touch today.

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Being fearful by conditioning

We all have fears.  Some of them are passed down from our parents, and some we learn for ourselves.  Parents can condition us unwittingly and unintentionally. We all learn by example. If we really examine our fears about something, we can notice that the fear we have is not based on our own experience at all. We can trace that fear back to its source.  We may find that one of our parents handed it down to us. For example, your mother or father may have had an intense fear of lack of money, stemming from their own life experiences. If that fear was not resolved by the time you came into the picture, chances are you inherited it. Meanwhile, you may have no actual experience of lacking money, so being fearful doesn’t make sense, and it may even block you from doing certain things you want to do. Of course your parents were only trying to protect you, and that most of the errors in judgment they made were made with the best intentions. Now may be the time to release this fear symbolically.

Photo by MART PRODUCTION on Pexels.com

Obviously you cannot resolve someone else’s fear for them, but you can decide to let go of it on your own behalf. Whether your parents are still alive or not, I believe it is best to do this in a symbolic way, using visualisation. One simple visualisation I use, is to imagine you are sitting in a huge comfy chair, and in front of you is a blank wall.  On that wall you will write the name of the fear in great big letters. Now, as you think about releasing this fear, and how you will feel after it has been released, begin to wipe away each letter of the fear one by one.  As you do that and simultaneously think about releasing the fear, that fear is dissolved, for good.  Then you can sit back in your comfy chair and be free of that fear. The more we do this deep inner work with our fears, the better we will be able to parent our own children without burdening them with fears that don’t belong to them. Some of us will do as much of this work as we can before we become parents, while others will be working on this even as our children become adults. Some of us will not begin this work until they retire.  Whenever we undertake it, the effects will be felt, because once we break our ties to the fears of the past, our children’s ties to those fears are greatly weakened, so it’s important to remember that it’s never too late.

Allowing yourself to release your fears is one step in the right direction to lessening the burden on yourself, and will help you to live a more balanced life.  Ask yourself this – Why am I living a life with fears that take up so much of my energy?  Why don’t I release some of these fears so that I can begin to live my life in my own way? Notice how good you feel after you have released some of those inherited fears.

If this has resonated with you get in touch today. Through personalised guidance, I will help you to release those fears so you can create a less fearful life for yourself.

Get in touch today. Email hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Many people don’t realise the importance of working with a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

Get in touch today.

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Breaking family cycles

It can be easy to believe that by leaving our childhood homes and embarking upon the journey of adulthood, we have effectively removed ourselves from harmful and self-perpetuating familial patterns. In looking closely at ourselves, however, we may discover that our behaviours and beliefs are still those that were impressed upon us during our youth by our parents, grandparents, and the generations that preceded them. We may find ourselves unconsciously perpetuating cycles of the previous generations, such as fear of having enough, not showing affection, and secrecy patterns. Yet the transmission of negative patterns from one generation to the next is not inevitable. It is possible to become the endpoint at which negative family cycles that have thrived for generations are exhausted and can exert their influence no longer. Breaking the pattern is a matter of overcoming those values imprinted upon us long ago in order to replace them with pure love, tolerance, and conscious awareness.

Photo by Brett Jordan on Pexels.com

Even if you have struggled with the cumulative effects of family cycles that were an expression of established ways of living and a reflection of the struggles your ancestors were forced to endure, you can still liberate yourself from the effects of your family history. The will to get rid of old, dark forms of familial energy and carry forth a new loving energy may come in the form of an epiphany. You may one day simply realise that certain aspects of your early life have negatively affected your health, happiness, and ability to evolve as an individual. Or you may find that in order to transcend long-standing patterns of limiting beliefs, irrational behaviour, and emotional stiltedness, you have to question your values and earnestly examine how your family has impacted your personality. Only when you understand how family cycles have influenced you can you gain freedom from them.


In order to truly change, you must first give yourself permission to change. Breaking family patterns is in no way an act of defiance or betrayal. It is important that you trust yourself implicitly when determining the behaviours and beliefs that will help you overwrite the generation-based cyclical value system that limited your individual potential. Many people are on the earth at this time to break family cycles, for all of you are true pioneers. In breaking negative family cycles, you will discover that your ability to express your feelings and needs grows exponentially and that you will embark upon a journey toward greater well-being that can positively impact generations to come.

If this has resonated with you in any way, and you would like help to make some life enhancing decisions, get in touch hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk. Work with me, improve your confidence and and see how much more you can achieve. Relearn how to live your life in the front row, re-take control of your own life. 

Many people don’t realise the importance of securing a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

Get in touch today.

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

The black sheep

We may have felt like the lone black sheep in a vast sea of white sheep at some time in our lives. For some of us this feeling of not really belonging runs more deeply and could have spanned many years. It is possible to feel like the black sheep in families and peer groups that are supportive, as well as in those that are not. Even if we receive no overt criticism regarding our values, there will likely be times when it seems that relatives and friends are humouring us or waiting for us to grow out of a phase. Sometimes we may even think we have been adopted because we are so different from our family members. These feelings are not a sign that we have failed in some way to connect with others. Rather, they should be perceived as the natural result of our willingness to articulate our individuality.

Many people who feel they are the black sheep respond to the separateness they feel by pulling back from the very people to whom they might otherwise feel closest and embracing a different group with whom they enjoy a greater degree of commonality. But if you feel that your very nature has set you apart from your peers and relatives, consider that you chose long ago to be raised by a specific family and to come together with specific people so that you could have certain experiences that would contribute to your ongoing evolution. You may be much more sensitive than the people around you or more artistic, aware, spiritual or imaginative. The disparate temperament of your values and those of your family or peers need not be a catalyst for interpersonal conflict. If you can move beyond comparisons and accept these differences, you will come to appreciate the significant role your upbringing and socialisation have played in your life’s unique journey.

In time, most black sheep learn to embrace their differences and be thankful for those aspects of their individuality that set them apart from others. We cannot expect that our peers and relatives will suddenly choose to embrace our values and offer us the precise form of support we need. But we can acknowledge the importance of these individuals by devoting a portion of our energy to keeping these relationships healthy while continuing to define our own identities apart from them.

If this has resonated with you in any way, and you would like to explore your confidence, please get in touch. hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk. Work with me, improve your confidence and see how much more you can achieve. Relearn how to live your life in the front row, take control of your own life. 

Work with me, improve your confidence and see how much more you can achieve. Many people don’t realise the importance of securing a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Going against what is considered to be popular

Our decisions can be made by default, meaning they aren’t conscious decisions. Just because an idea or way of doing things is considered popular doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone. However, part of the way that something becomes popular is that many of us don’t take the time to determine what’s right for us; we simply do what most of the people we know are doing, we follow the herd. There may be many other options available, but we don’t always find the time to explore them. This may be the result of feelings of overwhelm or we feel pressured by family, peers, and humanity at large, to do things their way, the way things have always been done. It is important that, as often as we can, we decide for ourselves what to do with our lives rather than just drift along on the current of what is considered popular opinion.

It is not always easy to make decisions that go against the grain. Some people may feel threatened when those close to them make choices divergent from the ones they are making. Parents and grandparents may be confused and defensive when we choose to raise our children differently from the way they raised us. Friends may feel abandoned if we decide to change our habits or behaviour. Meanwhile, on our side of the fence, it’s easy to feel frustrated and defensive when we feel unsupported and misunderstood simply because we are thinking for ourselves. It can be exhausting to have to explain and re-explain our points of view and our reasons.

This is where tolerance, gentleness, and openness come into play. It helps if we are calmly persistent, consistent, and clear as we communicate to those around us why we are making the choices we are making. We also have the right to say that we are tired of talking about it and simply need our choices to be respected. Our lives belong to us and so do our decisions. Those who truly love us will stand by us and support our choices, never mind what’s popular.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you. Get in touch today to book your coaching sessions.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

False Beliefs

I expect there are many of us who have a deep-seated belief that to be able to do well in the world, we have to suffer and sacrifice. This commonly held thought stems from a certain mentality, inherited from ancestors who may have experienced or indeed believed this was true. This is often the way in which false beliefs take hold and don’t let go, even though they are no longer relevant. We must all live our own lives, in our own time, and learn what is true for us. Very few so called truths prove valid for all people all the time.

neon signage

Photo by Ivan Bertolazzi on Pexels.com

Keeping our thoughts clear of false notions is not an easy task, since we need to first know our own beliefs. Very often, these beliefs have settled deep in our unconscious minds where they simply sit unquestioned. Nevertheless, they have an effect on our hearts, our minds, and our reality. These beliefs act on us, creating situations and relationships that we regard as fate, when they are, in fact, simply our unconscious minds manifesting in the external world. As a result, we may not even be aware that we are carrying the burden of a ‘can’t do’ mentality, and we may wonder why we are not able to achieve, especially when we know we deserve it. If this is the case, it is time to look deeper within to see if we can discover the obstacle inside ourselves.

In order for us to evolve, it is important that we examine the contents of our minds and hearts and get to the root of what we believe about reality. Generally, our concerns of the moment can be trusted to guide our inquiries. If we are not achieving as we know we deserve, then this issue is calling us to look into the hidden corners of our psyches and root out any remaining beliefs that tell us we must suffer and sacrifice in order to do well. Our efforts will take us one more step away from this energy-sapping belief that we no longer need.

I would love to hear from you about your experiences.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

False Beliefs

I expect there are many of us who have a deep-seated belief that to be able to do well in the world, we have to suffer and sacrifice. This commonly held thought stems from a certain mentality, inherited from ancestors who may have experienced or indeed believed this was true. This is often the way in which false beliefs take hold and don’t let go, even though they are no longer relevant. We must all live our own lives, in our own time, and learn what is true for us. Very few so called truths prove valid for all people all the time.

analysis blackboard board bubble

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Keeping our thoughts clear of false notions is not an easy task, since we need to first know our own beliefs. Very often, these beliefs have settled deep in our unconscious minds where they simply sit unquestioned. Nevertheless, they have an effect on our hearts, our minds, and our reality. These beliefs act on us, creating situations and relationships that we regard as fate, when they are, in fact, simply our unconscious minds manifesting in the external world. As a result, we may not even be aware that we are carrying the burden of a ‘can’t do’ mentality, and we may wonder why we are not able to achieve, especially when we know we deserve it. If this is the case, it is time to look deeper within to see if we can discover the obstacle inside ourselves.

In order for us to evolve, it is important that we examine the contents of our minds and hearts and get to the root of what we believe about reality. Generally, our concerns of the moment can be trusted to guide our inquiries. If we are not achieving as we know we deserve, then this issue is calling us to look into the hidden corners of our psyches and root out any remaining beliefs that tell us we must suffer and sacrifice in order to do well. Our efforts will take us one more step away from this energy-sapping belief that we no longer need.

When you want to learn to relax and have more fun in your life and less stress,  contact me and begin your journey. I would love to work with you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Making Conscious Decisions

Just because an idea or way of doing things is popular, it doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone.  And  part of the way that something becomes popular is that many of us don’t take the time to determine exactly what is right for us; we simply do what most of the people we know are doing. In this way, our decisions about life are made by default, which means they aren’t conscious decisions. There may be many other options available, but we don’t always make the time to explore them. This may be the result of feeling overwhelmed or pressured by family, peers, friends, to do things their way, the way things have always been done. Regardless of the cause, it is important that we decide for ourselves what to do with our lives rather than drift along on the current of popular opinion.

happyladywithbook

It isn’t always easy to make decisions that go against the grain. Many people feel threatened when those close to them make choices different from the ones they are making or expect from you. Parents and grandparents may be confused and defensive when we choose to raise our children differently from the way they raised us. Friends may feel abandoned if we decide to change our habits or behaviour. Meanwhile, on our side of the fence, it’s easy to feel frustrated and defensive when we feel unsupported and misunderstood simply because we are thinking for ourselves. It can be exhausting to have to explain and re-explain our points of view and our reasons.

This is where gentleness, openness and tolerance come into play. It helps if we are calmly persistent, consistent and clear as we communicate to those around us why we are making the choices we are making. At the same time, we have the right to say we need our choices to be respected. Our lives belong to us and so do our decisions. Those who truly love us will stand by us and support our choices, never mind what’s popular.

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

It’s all about you

I don’t know about you, but this is one of my favourite times.  A time when I take stock of the last year and where that got me and when I start to look at the year ahead and get excited about everything that I’m doing and aiming for in this year.

I’ve noticed that I’m not alone in this.  Lots of people that I’ve spoken to in the past couple of weeks have been experiencing a mix of the dynamic “Right! the New Year is approaching and I’m going to do something different that’s going to make my life so much better!” and the well-known “Oh, but I’m too (insert the applicable response) ……..tired, broke, cold, miserable” excuse for inactivity.  Do you recognise that in yourself or anybody around you?

poutinggirl

Well, we’re going to look at how you can beat the winter blues simply by making it all about you.  So I suggest that if there is somebody close to you that’s walking around feeling miserable… send this to them quickly!  For those that have already beaten the blues and are charging ahead with making their plans for the coming year – well done!  You can also use these tips to add more energy to your resolve.

With the many different roles that we undertake in our lives these days, we can so easily get caught up in playing each one and everything it entails that, for a time, we lose ourselves in the mix.  It can feel like we’re doing everything for other people and nothing for ourselves.  What we do on a daily basis can stop being about choice and start being purely about obligation.  This can be particularly highlighted over the festive season when we drag ourselves up to go to yet another gathering when deep down we’d really like to stay in bed for a lay-in and really wish we’d never agreed to go in the first place!  No wonder so many people feel burnt out by the time they reach the New Year.

Well when New Year gets here, and some of the demands have lessened, it will be a great time to step back and bring the focus back to you.  Not only is it the simplest way of beating winter blues, it’s a great way to give an extra energy boost to your New Year plans and get next year off to the best start.

So be really honest with yourself, how good are you at focusing on you? How often do you put yourself before anything or anybody else?

For many of us, as we continue to juggle our commitments, obligations and other people’s needs, it’s not often enough.  Perhaps we feel that it’s selfish to focus on ourselves when there are so many other people and jobs demanding our attention.  But are we getting it wrong?  Think about it for a moment.  How differently would you feel if you put yourself first more often?  If you were to do more of what you wanted to do?  Would you feel more tired, stressed, time-poor, lacklustre?  Or would you feel quite the opposite?

screaming

Our energy levels are directly related to how we feel.  If we do little for ourselves we feel fed up, over-stretched, put upon and we tend to have low energy levels.  With low energy levels we feel less inclined to do the things we know we need to do, let alone anything else on top.  We also work more slowly and so become time-poor. Whereas if we consciously put ourselves first and look after our own needs and wants, we feel happier, more fulfilled, lighter and our energy levels soar.  When we have more energy we’re more productive so we get more done in the same or less time, making it possible to fulfil our commitments as well as looking after ourselves.

Sometimes we get so caught up with the roles we undertake, the commitments we have and the people around us, that we forget that we have a choice.  Try choosing one thing just for you, do it and see how different you feel.  See also the amazing knock-on effect that has.

tips

Top 5 Tips for Putting Yourself First

  1.  Don’t say ‘yes’ when you mean ‘no’!  How often do you do this? How does it feel?  Not good?  When you’re asked to do something, give it some thought and give an answer that’s true to you.  You will feel so much better when you say yes only  when you mean it.
  2. Do something different.  If you feel tired or over-committed, the chances are you didn’t choose to feel that way.  By consciously breaking your routine (even if it’s only for one day) and doing something out of the ordinary, you have taken back your right  to choose.  Choose something that will give you a buzz and see what a difference it makes.
  3. Know what gives you energy.  Make yourself a list of all the things that put a big smile on your face and make you feel great.  Things that are focused on and all about you.  Then when you need a boost you have a ready-made list of pick-me-ups to choose from.
  4. Set aside time for you, and only you, regularly.   Whether it’s signing up to a series of classes, doing an activity you really enjoy or simply setting aside a couple of hours at a time to do exactly as you please, that may include doing absolutely nothing.  You don’t have to do it alone, just make sure that whatever it is, you are doing it for you.  Put it in the diary and stick to it!
  5. Have a plan.  If you know what you’re aiming for and you have a plan for how you’re going to get there… you will have all the motivation you need to drive you forward with the focus firmly on you.  Imagine the energy that will create!

If anything resonates with you in this article, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

Maintaining our positive energy

The people with whom we have the most contact and hang around with will have either a positive or negative effect on our levels of self-esteem and confidence.  We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around.

How do they make you feel?

Yes, they make me feel the same!  The positive thinking people can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with ‘can do’ vibes that has a knock on effect onto everyone else. They are a joy to be around and bring our energy levels up and increase our self-confidence.

We also know of those people who drain the energy from a room! You know the ones I mean, as soon as they walk into a room the atmosphere changes for the worse.

It is their perception that they never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – need I go on?

These people have the power to drain our energy and try to bring us down to their level, a million miles away from the level that WE want to be operating on. But they only have that power if we allow them to.

Some family members can be a lot like this as well.  We can always choose our friends, we can never choose your relatives! We can choose what are prepared to listen to though.

tiredwoman

So what can we do to make sure that the people who we hang around with empower and support what we stand for, rather than bring us down all of the time?

  1. We have the power to choose who we hang around with. Ideally we want happy, vibrant and positive people. If we hang around with those types of people, the negative ones will disappear as they won’t be able to cope.
  2.  If we have good friends who are negative and yet we still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how it feels  – if they are a true friend they will respect this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.
  3. The same can be said with family. Our more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years and years and from different eras. They have learned their behaviours from their parents and grandparents. Appreciate where they have come from and, as in number 2 above, acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.
  4. Remember, that nothing has meaning in our lives except the meaning that we give it.

We are in control of our positivity and negativity, and nobody can take that away from us, unless we allow them to.

If you anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, please contact me .

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you too.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk