Why We Must Care for Ourselves

So many of us focus so much on caring for others that we forget all about caring for ourselves. But when we don’t take the time to care for ourselves it can be extremely damaging to our health. It is often instilled into us as we grow up, we are conditioned, that we should care for others first and ourselves last and that it is selfish to think of yourself.  But I think this belief is wrong and it is not selfish to look after ourselves first, it is absolutely vital.

Giving too much can hurt us. It is important that we learn to care for ourselves too. It doesn’t make us unkind or selfish.  We’re not caring less for those who depend upon us. We’re not saying, “I matter more than you.’ We are simply caring for our own needs too, looking after our own health, so that we have more to give in future.

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There is a story that really hits home with me and affects me every time I read it, and it says that a mother was taking a flight on a plane with her twin daughters who were aged 5.  There was an emergency and the oxygen masks came down and the mother, although she had listened to the safety announcements and knew what to do with her mask did not put her mask on first. Instead she tried to get masks on her twin daughters to no avail. Because she had not put her mask on she soon could not breathe, became unconscious and couldn’t help herself or her daughters. All of them died. Now, if she had put her mask on first she would have been able to calmly fit the masks on her daughters and they would probably all have survived.  So no, it is not selfish to look after yourself first, it is vital.

A study of carers carried out in 2004 highlighted how caring for others too much can hurt us. Examining a group of carers who looked after chronically ill children, scientists at the University of California in San Francisco analysed samples of the carers’ DNA.They measured the length of their ‘telomeres’, which are essentially the end caps on DNA, the nearest I can come to describing these is something like the plastic end caps on shoelaces.  As we age, our telomeres gradually shorten just like the end caps on shoelaces get worn away. Interestingly measuring the length of telomeres is one of the most accurate ways of measuring the age of the body.

Studying the telomeres of 39 women who cared for chronically ill children and 19 women who were mothers to healthy children, they found that the telomeres of the most stressed carers were 15% shorter than those of the least stressed women. The scientists concluded that this degree of shortening was equivalent to at least ten years of extra aging.

In 2007 a study of carers of Alzheimer’s patients found something similar. University of Ohio scientists studied the telomeres of 41 caregivers of Alzheimer’s patients and compared them with the telomeres of non-caregivers, once again finding that the caregivers had much shorter telomeres.

For people who give too much and are feeling tired and/or stressed, the question I always ask is, ‘If it was a friend or loved one who was in your position, what would you advise them?’ We know what to do but how often do we do what we know?

 balloons

One way to think of it is like blowing up a balloon. We give a full breath and the balloon begins to inflate. But what do we do next? We take in a large breath to enable us to put more air in the balloon. Kindness to ourselves is like taking a breath.  It replenishes us so that we can give even more. If we forget to take a breath we eventually have nothing more to give, and the balloon is left to deflate.

We help others more when we also care for ourselves. Kindness can make the world a better place. But we must not forget to add ourselves to the list of those who need kindness, and make sure we give ourselves the kindness we deserve.

Do you feel like you could be getting more out of your life? Are you looking to make changes to improve your life but don’t know where to start?

Would you like to be happier, more confident, more relaxed and have time to care for yourself?

Good news! You’ve come to the right place and I know I can help… Get in touch today.

 

 Maggie Currie

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Maggie Currie in the hot seat

In this latest blog post, Maggie speaks to writer and presenter Clancy Walker. They chat about life, loves and many challenges along the way…

 

Maggie, you say that your life changed almost overnight when you made the decision to change your thinking. What is your life like now?

 

I am now living my dream on the beautiful Isle of Wight.  I am doing the work I love and living in a place that I love, with the man that I love.

 

It sounds wonderful, and it’s something that others can aspire to, but it hasn’t always been plain sailing for you, has it? How did life start out for you?

 

I was born and brought up in Essex.  When I was born, I was labelled as illegitimate because my birth mother was barely sixteen when I was born, she wasn’t married and had put me in a children’s home. 

 Whether this was her choice or one that was forced upon her I don’t know and probably never will know.  But that is where I was.

 

So, not the easiest of starts and I’m sure others will be able to relate to you. What happened from there?

 

I was fortunate enough to be adopted, rather than staying in care long term, and was taken to my prospective parents’ home when I was about six weeks old to meet my new older brother.  I was fostered until the official adoption came when I was around two years of age, although I really don’t remember it.  

 My childhood, on reflection, was a fairly good one.  We always had a two-week

holiday, usually on the Isle of Wight, which is why I grew to love it so much. 

 I was sent to a private school because my parents thought I would do better there than at the local comprehensive school.  I did really well and left school at the age of 16 with a GCE in Commerce and a string of RSAs in shorthand, typing etc.  My first job was with an insurance company in London.

 I then got married for the first time when I was 19 and had three lovely children.

 

It all sounds great, although I notice you said ‘for the first time’ when you talk about getting married. I’m guessing things changed in your relationship?

 

Yes, unfortunately the marriage did not last due to the verbal, psychological and financial abuse I suffered at the hands of my husband. 

 I finally woke up to the fact that this was not normal and summoned up the courage to consult a solicitor who agreed with me and I filed for divorce. 

 It took two years for the divorce to go through, as my husband refused to accept the marriage was over, but eventually, after me standing my ground, we were divorced when I was 30. 

 

So, you were 30 with three children to support – did you have much support from those around you?

 

For various reasons I had to take the children, who were aged then nine and six (I had twins), to another town and live in a one bedroom flat. 

 Thankfully it had a garden and was close to the schools and shops and we lived there for about two years along with a menagerie of two cats, a dog, two rabbits, some goldfish, a hamster, two gerbils and some zebra finches.  

 

It sounds quite tough, and hectic, but it also sounds like you were starting to find your feet and enjoying the challenges life was throwing you?

 

Yes, I think I had got used to being on my own with the kids – and was enjoying a freedom I’d not experienced before – thanks to being free of an abusive relationship. I’m so pleased I was able to find the courage to leave it.

 

And then something even more wonderful happened, didn’t it?

 

Yes, I met up with a man called Kelvin again. I had known him for some years as a friend of my brother, and we fell in love.

We married when I was 32 and we moved to a lovely Victorian terraced house with four bedrooms and a long garden in the same town. 

 We lived in that house for about 15 years, so the children grew up there, and we were very happy there.

 

It just shows how much life can change over the years, doesn’t it? You did have some very difficult times too, though, didn’t you?

 

Yes, and like many people we had family challenges that we thought were impossible to solve and would never end. 

 At times like those we had to be patient and weather the storm.  On those days it seemed that life was too much to bear.  Some very hard decisions had to be made – decisions that no parents should have to make – but we made them and life carried on. 

 

How did you manage to make such difficult decisions?

 

We made the decisions that we thought were the best at that time and would be the most beneficial for the whole family.

 But life does get better and that cloud does go away especially by thinking good thoughts and getting back on track and by not feeling guilty or giving in to emotional blackmail, which is something I can help others with through my coaching.

 

So, what happened after the children had grown up?

 

When the children had all left home we moved to Hampshire, where we lived for

about five years.  We had also bought a flat on the Isle of Wight and we took holidays in it and spent lots of weekends in it. We planned to retire into it as well, as we loved the island so much.

 While we were living in Hampshire our next-door neighbour was Maureen – who was looking forward to retiring at 60. 

 Sadly Maureen was diagnosed with cancer and died six months later, before she got to her sixtieth birthday.

 We made the decision then to move to the Isle of Wight and not wait until we retired.  A step we have never once regretted.

 

Which leads us back to where we started in this interview! Tell me a little more about what life is like for you now, Maggie?

 

Moving to the Island has opened up so many doors that would not have been opened if we had stayed where we were. 

 I have opened my mind to the new opportunities that are available and I have kept my mind open to make sure that I don’t miss any. 

 I have found that following the signs, even if I am not sure where they are leading me, can be really beneficial. 

 Some opportunities I reject, some I embrace.  I have made mistakes, learned from them and moved on.

 

But life isn’t perfect for everyone all of the time – how have you handled the difficult times in recent years?

 

There have been times when life has not been so good.  Like when my father died suddenly in 1999.  I miss him still.  He was a fountain of knowledge and wisdom and always had time and wise words for me. 

 I have learned how to bounce back and gain something from the experiences I have been through to make sure I don’t make the same mistakes again.  I really believe you can do the same if you are gentle with yourself.  

 

Thanks Maggie, what advice would you like to finish with for your readers?

 

I know my coaching, books, talks and courses will help you to change your life for the better. 

 Don’t forget to open your mind to the new opportunities that lie ahead of you. 

 The choice is yours, you have the ability to create your very own future.  Your new life is out there.  Go and open the door to your new, fantastic future.

 Good luck on your motorway of life, take the right exits for you, try some you think might not be quite right, you may be surprised. 

 Be brave.  You deserve to succeed.

 

Love

 

Maggie xx

 

Maggie Currie

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Maggie Currie was speaking to writer and presenter Clancy Walker

                                                                                               Clancy

 

Fast forward 1 year – what do you see for yourself?

How would you like to see yourself in a year’s time?  Would it be the same as now, or with slight changes or a whole new look?

Currently my life is:

  • My relationship with myself looks pretty good at the moment. I treat myself with respect and gratitude and take notice of the good thoughts, I acknowledge the not so good thoughts and endeavour to take no notice them beyond that.
  • My thoughts are generally positive but occasionally a negative thought will creep in. This is normal for everyone.
  • My relationship with my husband is fantastic, we love and respect each other and make each other laugh.
  • My relationship with my mother is good, we see each other fairly regularly, my father passed away some years ago, but is always in my heart and mind.
  • My relationship with two of my children is virtually non-existent (their choice which I respect) and with the third it is quite long distance and variable.
  • My physical health is pretty good, I am slightly overweight and making an effort to change this and I currently feel great.
  • My finances are reasonably okay, but could of course be a lot better. Bank account is in the black and the cash flow is restricted.
  • My business world consists of coaching, I am self-employed and an entrepreneur. I am the business.
  • I am peaceful in my life, asking the Universe for what I want, although I could ask more often. I don’t meditate.
  • For fun I work at pop festivals and trade by offering Indian head massage to all the punters at the festivals.
  • I take time for myself every day, even if it is only 5 minutes.

‘Get back to me retreat’ Friday March 15th to Sunday March 17th 2013

In a year’s time I see for me:

  • An even better relationship with myself.
  • Fewer negative thoughts creeping in.
  • A continuing fantastic relationship with my husband.
  • A great relationship with my mother.
  • A better relationship with my daughter.
  • Better health, less overweight.
  • Fabulous finances.
  • Business booming.
  • Peaceful in life and asking and receiving more from the Universe.
  • Still enjoying pop festivals.
  • My third book published.
  • Taking more time for myself every day.

Take a few moments to think about your future.  Is there anything you would like to see differently? What are you prepared to do to bring about those changes?

If you need help get in touch today and we can get a date in the diary for a chat.

 

 Maggie Currie

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© Maggie Currie and Maggie Currie Coaching, 2011-2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Maggie Currie and maggiecurrie.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Are you really conscious of your thoughts?

You are constantly barraged, from the minute you open your eyes and ears in the morning until the minute you close your eyes and ears at night, with information – facts and figures, fiction, half-truths, music, news, stories, half-heard conversations, pictures and images. This information comes from parents, siblings, relatives, newspapers, magazines, school, college, university, colleagues, television, radio, advertising posters, books, magazines, films, fellow passengers, articles – the list is endless.  And this has been happening since the day you were born.

You would be surprised at how much information you absorb each week.

To prove just how much information you absorb each week and from how many sources, make a list of all the publications you read, the television programmes you regularly watch, the newspapers you subscribe to, the radio broadcasts you listen to and so on.

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Are you surprised at the length of your list?

How much of that information that you have listed do you think is having a positive effect on your life?

How much do you think is having a negative effect on your life? Again, make a note.

I bet the second list is far longer than the first.

You filter all the information you receive (whether you realise it or not) and you think you either store it away for future use (you believe it) or discard it as useless (you choose not to believe it).  But, unbeknown to you, your subconscious mind will store all the information away, just in case, whether, in your conscious mind, you think you believe it or not.  Your subconscious mind has remembered everything you have ever seen or heard since the minute you were born.  Your subconscious mind has very kindly done this for you without you even knowing.

Think about it, you see a poster flash by you and the information on that poster is absorbed into your mind in an instant.   You may not even have realised that the information has been registered.  So what you believe today could be entirely based on something you read on that poster this morning.  Alternatively your beliefs could be based on something that is hidden deep down in your subconscious mind that you thought you had forgotten about, but in actual fact it has been lurking there for many years, thanks to your subconscious mind.

This is an excerpt from my book “What you believe creates your reality”.  When you want to learn more, buy it, read it, take action – change your life. Click here to make your purchase.

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If you’re ready to take control of your life, you have two ways you can work with me to solve your problems and regain your joy of living: One to one coaching, 7 Steps to Self Confidence Programme.

As a result of coaching with me you will grow into a new you.  You will grow in confidence, self esteem and self belief. You will become self-reliant and you’ll begin to trust and value yourself.

You will discover how to bounce back when life knocks you down and how to gain the valuable lessons from all of life’s experiences.

You will start to live the life you really want to live rather than one forced upon you by other people and circumstances.

Does that sound like something you’d like to experience?

 

I know that coaching and mindset changes work to change your life which is why I’m willing to guarantee my coaching.  If you feel your life has not changed for the better as a result of working with me then I will refund your investment.

You have everything to gain and nothing to lose. Call me today (+44) 1983 754 666 and let’s start your life transformation.

 

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

Coaching you to become the very best version of you so you can have more fun, live a better life and enjoy your work.

 

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Australia trip – A rollercoaster of feelings and emotions

It all began early one morning in April.  I have a standing date to chat with my friend Heather who lives in Australia.  When we call via Skype, it is 7am here in the UK and 4pm in Australia.

On this morning Heather said she had been to see the doctor because of a cough, and she had been for some tests.  These tests had revealed that she had malignant melanomas in her lung, shoulder and leg.  Quite matter of factly Heather stated the doctors had told her she had about 5 months to live.  Of course, Heather told them that she fully intended to be around for the next 30 years, and knowing Heather she probably will be.

I had never met Heather in person, we had met online whilst undertaking a coaching course together, and we had hit it off.  We had similar histories of adoption and we thought in the same way – much to the chagrin of our coaching instructor.

We chat weekly and talk about the weather, her farm, my caravan – everything under the sun and we have built up a strong bond.

My initial thought on hearing Heather’s news was I want to go and visit Heather to offer my support in person. That was my emotional head thinking.  My practical head thinking found a million obstacles as to why I shouldn’t do it – the expense, the time, my inexperience in travel etc.

Nonetheless I looked up prices and they ranged from £700 to £1,000 return.  I thought about it for a few days.  I mentioned to Kelvin that I was thinking of going to Australia to offer my support to Heather and he said ‘just do it, you will only regret it if you don’t’.  He is right of course, I would regret it if I didn’t go.  And so I looked really seriously at the flights and the costs.

I found the most cost effective airline was Royal Brunei, and they fly from Heathrow to Melbourne via Dubai and Brunei.  The flights all together were around 21 hours with a one hour stopover in Dubai and a two hour stopover in Brunei.

I booked my flights to set off from Heathrow on Sunday 15th June and to return home on Monday 23rd June.  All very good except that I would land in Melbourne at 4.50am their time.  Very early in the morning in the middle of their winter.

I relayed the dates and times to Heather when we spoke and she said that Geoff, her husband, would collect me from Melbourne airport and drive me to their home some 350 kilometres away in Wangaratta.  What a gentleman!

Kelvin insisted that he was going to drive me to and from Heathrow, so basically all I had to do was sit there in the various cars and planes and be transported to the other side of the world.  It seemed very easy, at least on paper.

I was both excited and nervous.  Excited because I was going to meet Heather in person after 4 years, and nervous because the furthest I had flown was to Italy, about 2 hours and never on my own.  Flying for 21 hours was daunting and scary.

 

I searched online and bought the lightest case I could since I was only allowed 20 kilos.  Of course there were jumpers to be bought as it is winter in Australia and summer here.  Also a lightweight jacket had to be found.  But the universe was looking after me and all things were available for me.  I had everything I needed.

During one of our chats Heather mentioned that she had lost some vision in her right eye.  She was unduly worried, but was tending to crash into things and not see anything on her right side.  Then I had a message that Heather had been rushed into hospital and had undergone brain surgery.   Apparently there was a melanoma pressing on her brain and it had to be removed at once or she wouldn’t survive.  Two days later Heather was sitting up eating her breakfast.

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Heather

As the time drew nearer to set off on my epic trip, the more nervous I became.  The week before I was due to fly I got a chest infection and felt absolutely awful.  A trip to the doctor to get antibiotics was successful and I sat and felt sorry for myself for a few days until I began to feel better.  I really thought that I would have to postpone my trip as I may not have been well enough to fly and I didn’t want to take an infection with me to Heather, who was by now half way through her chemotherapy treatment.

I was kept busy organising the freezer and fridge so that Kelvin had plenty to eat and drink whilst I was away for 8 days.  There were meals for one, oven chips, pizza, bread, milk, eggs.  Enough to keep him going for a week or so.

But all was well, and I recovered.  The night before I was due to fly I hardly slept.  I was nervous, excited, concerned, worried – a whole host of emotions.

The day arrived.  My case was packed.  I had my passport, Australian dollars, my itinerary.  I was ready to go.

We set off on the ferry at around 10am and headed for Heathrow.  We arrived in plenty of time and decided we would have lunch together.  The food was very good and not too expensive, we had steak and chips.

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Me at Heathrow

 

I went to the check in desk and queued up.  The case was fine, not overweight, the passport was fine, but I hadn’t got an entry to Australia Visa.  I had ordered this online at the time of booking the flight but apparently it hadn’t come through.  Fortunately, the rep for Royal Brunei airlines was very helpful, she got on her mobile to Melbourne airport and got some advice.  I had to go to another department and purchase a visa.  So I had to get my case off the scales, and go to another desk and pay £30 for this piece of paper.   So they tried to issue me with this entry to Australia visa, but because I had already ordered one there was a problem.  But they sorted it all out, and after an anxious twenty minutes, all was in order.  The rep told me that I didn’t need to queue up again, just come back and see her and I went back to the rep who put me in the front of the queue.  Check in done and it was time to go through security and immigration. Scary.

I said bye to Kelvin and off I went through the magic doors.  Security and immigration were no problem and I set off for Gate 22 which was approximately 1 kilometre away.  Fortunately there were some travelators and I only had a backpack to carry.  I was there in no time and sat down to wait for my plane to board.  I started reading my book and before long it was time to board.

I was very apprehensive as the plane was huge and I still don’t see how such a huge object can stay in the sky.  But on board I got, went to my seat by the window and waited for takeoff.  The cabin crew were all lovely and got everyone settled.

In a short while we were taxiing down the runway and then the plane was ready to take off and the engines powered up.  Before I knew it we were in the air and I really hadn’t felt a thing.  The plane was only 2/3 full, so there was plenty of room to stretch out.

Flying isn’t the most exciting modes of transport, since the plane is either above the clouds or it is dark, so there really isn’t much to see.  There were films etc. to watch and I watched a couple of films that were mediocre.  They passed the time.  The cabin crew regularly brought round water and juice, and a meal and a snack.  After 6 ½ hours the plane landed in Dubai.  We all got off and wandered around the airport, which was good to stretch my legs.  It was really hot and humid.  Fortunately, the airport had great air conditioning.  I felt bewildered because of the time difference.  I really didn’t know what was happening next.  But it seemed we had to wait for around an hour whilst the plane was refuelled and re-stocked.

I said I would text Kelvin when I landed in Dubai.  My mobile was still locked into the local network and I wondered what I could about it.  I looked at the settings and it gave me an option of manual or automatic network search, so I set it to automatic and almost immediately it found a network in Dubai and I was able to text my arrival.  Quite a feat for me, since I am not the slightest bit technically minded.  Another achievement to add to my list.

We had to go through security again. Then we all got back on the plane again, in the same seats and were heading for Brunei.  I thought that this wouldn’t take long, being ignorant of where Brunei is located.  In fact it was another 6 ½ hours in the air as Brunei is in the Indian Ocean.  With the same films, the regular drinks, a meal and a snack.  We arrived in Brunei and it was even hotter and even more humid.  We had a stopover of around 2 hours and fortunately the airport was air conditioned. I texted Kelvin again to say I landed in Brunei.

I wanted to buy a cup of coffee but they only take Brunei dollars at the airport so I changed a £20 note and went and bought a lovely coffee.  There was a little shop selling chocolate so I bought some of that too.  Brunei airport is undergoing renovations, so there wasn’t a lot to see.

A trip to the loo was needed, and there was one regular cubicle and several cubicles where you could squat.  I thought to myself, if I squat will I be able to get up again.  And laughing to myself I said probably not.  I had visions of me stuck in a cubicle, embarrassed in a strange country.  So I availed myself of the regular cubicle and all was well.

Through security again and then we all boarded the plane again and I was allocated a window seat again, there was an Egyptian man on the outside seat.  I asked him if he would like the window seat as I had seen enough, and he was very appreciative and took up my offer.  I had an aisle seat for a change, and it was fine.

Another 6 ½ hour flight to Melbourne, 3 of those hours were spent flying from the top of Australia to the bottom.  I thought what a vast country this is.  There were the same films, the same drinks, a meal and a snack.  I tried to get some sleep and believe I dozed for a while, but didn’t really sleep.

The plane arrived in Melbourne and landed uneventfully.  I disembarked and followed the signs to baggage reclaim.  Waited for my case to appear, which happened very quickly, collected it and set off for security and immigration.

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Melbourne Airport

The signs were confusing to me, there were lanes for people from Australia and New Zealand and then there were lanes for everyone else.  I went down the everyone else lane.  I came to passport control and they didn’t even look at the visa I had so diligently bought.  My passport was stamped and I was in Australia.

I found myself in the arrivals hall and there was a coffee shop.  I had to have a coffee so I bought one and spent some of my Australia dollars.  The people were so friendly and helpful.  I texted Geoff to say I had landed and was in the arrivals hall.  He appeared about 15 minutes later and we went off to find his car and start the 350 kilometre drive to Wangaratta and it was only 6am their time.

I felt a little tired, but not enough to warrant going to bed.  Geoff suggested I get some sleep on the way, but I didn’t feel it was necessary.  It was still dark being their winter, and the roads were strange, with signs that are different from those in the UK.  The drive took about 3 hours and then I was there, at Glenloth and meeting Heather in person.

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Heather’s house – Glenloth

 It felt really good to give Heather a hug and go into her house.  It was as though we had just popped out and come back in, the conversation just continued.  I felt so at home, welcome and pleased to see Heather.  She looked a little tired, but other than that she looked fairly good.  I was shown to my room and where the facilities were and told to make myself at home.  Geoff cooked me breakfast and Heather and I sat and chatted for the rest of the day.

I did begin to flag around 8.30pm and went to bed.  I had been up since 6am on Sunday and it was now Tuesday.  I thought I hadn’t done too badly.  I felt it would be best for me to stay up as long as I could, then in the morning I would be bright eyed and bushy tailed.  I slept for 12 hours. I felt really good in the morning.

I felt really at home at Glenroth, I was accepted by the dog Mickey and the cat Dixcey.  Even the working dogs were friendly to me.  Having seen photos of the farm before it all seemed very familiar.  I was sitting looking out the window at the views that Heather had photographed.  It was really quite surreal.

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Heather and I at Glenloth

 I met a couple of Heather’s friends – Gillian and Susan – and they were very friendly.  Susan took us out on two afternoons in her car.  We went out for afternoon tea and cake.  Heather was looking good and a bit brighter.

It all felt right to me.  I felt I had done the right thing, even though it was scary.

Heather and I chatted about nothing in particular, put the world to rights and enjoyed each other’s company.

On the Friday we set off for Melbourne again for Heather’s appointment at the hospital for her next chemotherapy session.  We arrived in plenty of time and waited for the doctors to see her.  Then it was time for the chemo.  Geoff and I went and got some lunch in the restaurant whilst Heather was provided with lunch, and then I sat with her until her session was finished.

I felt privileged to be able to be there for Heather and to offer some support, however little that was.

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Heather and I, assisted by Alfred the bear, in the Chemo Unit

Since I was flying out on Sunday it had been decided that we would all stay with Heather’s son and daughter-in-law who lived on the outskirts of Melbourne.  So we set off to their house and arrived around 5pm.  Rhys and Sonia provided us with food and I had their second spare room. It was very comfortable and again I felt very welcome.

On the Saturday Heather was feeling very tired so we girls sat and watched some dvds and had takeaway for dinner.  It was a gentle day, with lots of support for Heather who was feeling a bit down after the chemo.  I felt welcome and wanted and that was good.

On the Sunday morning I was dropped off at Melbourne airport by Geoff and Heather just before 9am.  We said our goodbyes and Geoff took Heather back home to Wangaratta.  They both thanked me for coming and said how much they appreciated it.  I was just pleased that I was able to give support where it was needed.  I had enjoyed my stay and I felt ready to go home.

I went into the departures lounge and it was huge.  I was totally gobsmacked and thought what do I do now?  I wandered around a bit and there was a board, it said all the flights that were due to go today, and where the check in desks were.  Mine was in row B, but wasn’t open yet.  I waited for it to open, queued up and got checked in.  I had done that all by myself, with no help from anyone.  I was feeling quite pleased with myself. No, I was feeling proud of myself.

I went off in search of some breakfast as it was around 9.30am and I was feeling hungry.  I found a McDonalds and asked for a bacon sandwich.  This came with a hash brown and coffee.  That would do me for a while.  Having consumed that I went through security and immigration again.

I found the departure gate, which wasn’t too far away and sat down to wait for the plane and began to read my book again.  Soon it was time to board.  Unlike on the way to Australia, the flight was full.  I was allocated a middle seat and was squashed in between a man and a woman.  There was no room to stretch out.  There were the same films, water and juices, a meal and a snack.  The flight was 7 hours to Brunei.

Again we all got off and there was a 2 hour stopover.  It was very hot again and we had to walk across the tarmac in the blistering heat.  But once in the terminal it was air conditioned thankfully. I texted Kelvin to say that I had arrived in Brunei.

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Model of the Boeing 787 in Brunei Airport

 I bought a bottle of water this time and drank the lot.  I was very thirsty.  I noticed that the air felt very dry in the plane, maybe because there were more people.  But I noticed that I just wanted to get home and was impatient to get there.

Through security again and we all got back on the plane again and set off for Dubai.  7 hours later we arrived.  There had been the same films, water and juices, a meal and a snack.  It was again very hot and I was glad to be able to stretch my legs around the airport for a short while.  I texted Kelvin to tell him I had arrived in Dubai.  I had a look in the duty free shops and noticed that they had some very expensive tourist ‘gifts’.  I could have bought a remote control helicopter.  But I resisted.

Through security again and we all boarded the plane for the last of the three flights back to Heathrow.  Another 7 hours and we would land at 6.30am.  I felt tired, thirsty and little impatient because I just wanted to get home.  There were the same films, water and juices, a meal and a snack.  I did wonder why I was eating breakfast at 3.30am whilst 4 miles up in the air. The cabin crew were delightful and were always smiling, nothing was too much trouble for them.  I am very impressed with Royal Brunei Airlines.

The plane landed at Heathrow on time and we all got off.  I went to the baggage claim to find my suitcase.  I texted Kelvin to tell him that we had landed and I was in the baggage hall.  My case took an age to appear on the carousel.  Eventually it appeared and I was so relieved since I didn’t want the hassle of reporting it missing, filling in forms and trying to remember what was in it.

So an hour after landing I went through immigration, through the nothing to declare channel.  I was stopped by a customs official and asked if I would go with him.  So I did into another room where he wanted to see my passport.  He asked me where I had come from.  I told him that I had come from Melbourne via Brunei and somewhere else I couldn’t for the life of me remember.  He asked me if I had packed my case myself and I said yes.  He asked me if I was carrying anything for anyone else such as drugs or firearms and I said no.  He asked me if I was bringing in any alcohol or cigarettes and I said no.  He seemed happy with my answers and sent me on my way.  I went out into the arrivals lounge and there was Kelvin.  I was so relieved to see him and to be nearly home. He was pleased to see me too as he had missed me.  I felt a mixture of happiness to be home and guilt to have left him behind.  But there was no need to feel guilty, he was just glad that I was safe and home.

Kelvin drove me home and we stopped on the way for some coffee and a toasted teacake.  It felt really good to be with Kelvin and to have landed and not have to get on another plane.

We got the ferry and got home and everything was normal.

 Kelvin Currie

Kelvin

It had felt surreal to be sitting with Heather in her lounge in Australia, which looked familiar because I had seen it so many times during our call on Skype.  It felt right to be with her in her time of need and it all fell into place time wise because the universe had made sure it had happened at the right time.

I feel proud of myself for having organised my trip all by myself and undertaken the trip all by myself.  I am really pleased that I stepped outside of my comfort zone by a long way and made the trip. I have given myself a thoroughly deserved pat on the back.  I never ever thought that I would make a trip like this all on my own.  The fact that I have done it proves I have more potential than I thought, and makes me feel very proud of myself.

If this resonates with you and you would like to step out of your comfort zone but are not sure where to start, contact me and we can have a chat about how I can help you.

Maggie Currie

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Can life coaching help me sort out my life?

Yes, I believe that it will help you sort out your life.  Coaching draws out rather than puts in. I find it is reactive, flexible and enabling. My coaching style is non-judgemental, helps people to develop and grow in a variety of areas.

My approach to coaching is to get the very best out of someone and giving them the confidence to make decisions that will improve their life.

When my clients experience being coached, their motivation comes from working with me who is an upbeat, positive role model. I want my clients to reach their full potential and when they do it gives me tremendous job satisfaction. Helping clients discover where they want to go and then helping them to get there is so rewarding to me.

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What makes me a great coach?

  • I like people and want to bring out the best in them
  • I want my clients to do something more fulfilling in their lives
  • I enjoy personal and financial freedom
  • I have natural ‘people’ skills.

Interestingly, a great deal of the life coaching and personal coaching I do is carried out on the telephone. Some of my clients I have never actually met in person. For several reasons coaching is just as effective over the telephone as it is face-to-face. In fact, many of my clients prefer to speak over the telephone. It is very convenient for both myself and my client, and it offers greater flexibility since we all have busy lifestyles. Coaching over the telephone offers other obvious advantages:

  • coaching can be conducted wherever I and my client happen to be – anywhere in the world
  • there’s no travelling time or travel cost involved
  • I don’t need offices, meeting rooms, staff or other expensive overheads

Having said that, I enjoy face-to-face coaching too, as I love the personal contact and appreciate the one-to-one feel of the coaching session.  I meet my clients at a mutually agreeable venue, a quiet corner of a café, in their client’s home or office, in my home or office or wherever is convenient.

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 My coaching sessions are typically sixty minutes, though sometimes longer.

Some of the things I practice in my coaching:

  • Listening to what has been said, and what hasn’t been said
  • What motivates people must be understood
  • Everyone is capable of achieving more
  • Finding solutions not creating more problems
  • A person’s past is no indication of their future
  • People’s beliefs about what is possible for themselves are their only limits
  • I always provide full support
  • I can’t provide the answers, but I can draw them out of my clients
  • I never criticise my clients
  • All my coaching is completely confidential
  • Some people’s needs cannot be met by coaching, and I recognise clients with these needs and refer them to a specialty that will help them

So, to answer the original question “Can Life Coaching help you sort your life out?”  Yes, I believe it can.  Life coaching is what you make it. If you wish to set and achieve goals, accept yourself and become everything you are capable of becoming then working with a Life Coach is for you.

I also offer a money back guarantee.  If you don’t change something about your life when coaching with me, I will give you your money back.

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 Contact me today to have a free chat on how my coaching will help you to sort out your life.

 

Maggie Currie

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Fear of crowds

Fear of crowds is very common for a lot of people whether they are single, married, male, female, high flyers, students, teachers, old or young .

I know how it feels to be alone in a crowd. I often feel totally overwhelmed in a large crowd of people, especially if I don’t know anyone in that crowd. It can feel like I am on the periphery and not allowed into the inner circle, and that, of course, makes the fear even worse. I wonder if the fear is actually of the crowds themselves or is it a fear of feeling lost or being unnoticed amongst a large number of people?

I know when I am in a large crowd of people entirely ‘on my own’ I feel nervous; I have an irrational fear that nobody will even notice that I am there.  I look at the little groups of people who do know each other within that large crowd enjoying themselves and the company of each other and that somehow increases my nervousness and the fear.  Of course they may feel just like I do but when I feel that fear, it certainly looks like they’re having a great time and I’m not. When I am in a large crowd of people and I have my own ‘group of people’ with me I feel safe and secure and know that I am noticed and therefore I don’t have those same feelings as when I am alone in a crowd.

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Did you grow up in a house where “children were seen and not heard”? That might be the root of these feelings of nervousness and insecurity as they are for me. I can ultimately relate feeling like this to my childhood when I was constantly told that I should be seen and not heard.  So I would sit in the corner with my toys and only speak when I was spoken to.

Having worked hard on discovering my authentic self, discovering, acknowledging and accepting those unexpressed feelings and emotions of when I was told to be seen and not heard,  I now think and act differently.  I know there is a solution to this fear of crowds.  Based on what I know to be true about fear.  I know that FEAR is:

False

Expectations

Appearing

Real

I have found the solution that works for me and might work for you too:

  • Don’t worry about pleasing anyone else. Just be you.
  • Here’s what I do – I take a deep breath or two and take the plunge.
  • I walk amongst the strangers in the crowd and I expect to be noticed. I’ve decided not to expect to be or feel lost.
  • I make eye contact with people and smile at them.
  • I say hello to people I have never met before and strike up conversations.  They aren’t always long conversations, just long enough to introduce myself and be friendly and to listen to the other people.  Sometimes they are much longer, it depends on the person of course. Once the conversations start to happen, other people start to talk to me and to each other and before long I am part of the ‘crowd’ and not isolated on the periphery.

Even if being you just says it’s ok to not talk to anyone – which is a good friend of mine’s solution for her fear of crowds.  She’s decided to not push herself and just enjoys watching people. Funny thing is, she reports people come and talk to her.

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So I know that I am not alone in feeling alone.  There are other people who are in the same position as me and I make a special effort to speak to them as well and include them in the conversations.  The energy and dynamics of the crowd change visibly and it becomes much more enjoyable.

The most important thing is to find a way to feel comfortable being you whether you decide overcoming the fear by talking to people is your way, or overcoming the fear by giving yourself a break and just allowing others to talk to you is your way. Bottom line, stop pressuring yourself to be like everyone else and just be you.

Contact me to have a free chat on how my coaching can help you find solutions to your problems.

Maggie Currie

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Asking me for help comes from a place of strength, not weakness

Many people find it challenging to accept help, and even more challenging for some to ask for help.  They somehow believe that asking for help they are undermining their ability to cope or they think they have failed in some way.  Some also believe that asking for and taking help from others is a weakness.

All of those ways of thinking, whilst totally believable, have been ingrained in us through conditioning.  I always remember my parents saying to me ‘You don’t need help, you are a big girl now, you can do it on your own’, or ‘Don’t be weak, get on with it yourself’.  Thus, I thought for a long time that I should be able to cope and that I didn’t need help.

Remember, there are no shoulds in this world.

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My parents believed they were doing the right thing, as they had been conditioned similarly by their parents.

Now is the time to bust those myths wide open!  Asking for help does not come from a place of weakness, it comes from a place of strength!

Being aware that you need help in some areas shows a positive way of thinking and is in no way a sign of weakness.  It is most definitely a sign of strength.  There is no stigma attached to asking for help, there are no hard and fast rules about how much people must be able to struggle on without asking for help.

Take for example a shop owner.  He/she opens a shop selling widgets and they become so popular that in a few short months the shop owner finds that going to the market to buy the widgets, stocking the shop, selling and answering customer queries on the phone is all too much.  Without help the shop will most certainly fail, as customers will go to another shop where they perceive they are getting better service.

The shop owner needs to know when to ask for help, either by hiring a shop assistant or a buyer, or perhaps both.  The business will then go from strength to strength as the customers will have their widgets, the shop owner can get on with selling them, and the buyer can get on with buying them.

Asking for help will find the solutions you are looking for.  Burying problems is a sign of weakness and is the same as running away from the problem and hiding.

You also need to trust that you are worthy of receiving help and, of course, trust the person you go to for help.  There are many exploitative people out there and you will detect them easily.  Remember, it is about their karma, and not your worth.  They will move away from you once they are discovered.

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 Don’t be fooled by the illusion that all problems are easy or that problems needing solving only apply to some people and not you.  Never apologise for your need for help.

It is a good idea to prioritise your problems and your need to ask for help.  If you can fix a problem on your own effectively then do it and reward yourself.  However, if you have a problem where you can’t find a solution on your own, then ask for help.

There will be problems that nobody can fix.  And there lies the greatest strength of all – letting go of that problem.  Accept there is no solution and let it go.

Ask me for help with problems you may have in parts of your life.  There is no stigma, it is a sign of strength and it is my life’s work to help other people to find solutions to their problems.  Don’t ever be afraid to ask me for help.

Contact me to have a free chat on how my coaching can help you find solutions to your problems.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

Coaching you to become the very best version of you so you can have more fun, live a better life and enjoy your work.

 

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How do you know when you are in need of coaching?

 I know there are a lot of people who think that they are ‘fine’ and certainly have no need of coaching of any sort.  They are mistaken in their belief that there is nothing anyone else can do to help them, that there is nobody else out there in the entire world who is in, or has been in, the same or similar situations as them.  They continue to plod on through life without help, without looking for answers to their questions and still believing that there is nothing they or anyone else can do to change their current situations.

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I know differently.  I have been on both sides of that argument, and I know exactly what I am talking about.  I have been there, I have resisted being coached. I thought I was fine and, because I am a coach, didn’t need any coaching.  How wrong was I? Very, very wrong.

I have also been in a place where I didn’t even know coaching existed, when I was going through divorce and had no perception of a way out of despair and misery.  I had no idea at that time that there were coaches out there who could help me. Had I known that help was available for me from a coach I would have been first in the queue. It would have saved me a huge amount of heartache and anguish.

Since discovering coaching and training to be a coach, learning NLP techniques and how to coach with some of the top people in the country, I have been coaching for ten years and successfully changed the lives of so many people, as well as my own.  And I love every single minute of it.

But, and this is a big BUT, I resisted being coached myself because my ego kept telling me that I was okay, I was ‘fine’.

I have taken a good look at me, and my ego has been booted into the’ back of beyond’. I have hired my own coach, and I love being coached as much as I love coaching and watching people change and grow.Working with your own coach is so rewarding in a myriad of ways.

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Maggie Currie

I learn something new every time I am coaching and being coached.  I believe learning is vital since we are very unlikely to ever know everything.

Contact me to have a free chat on how my coaching can help you.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

I am coaching people to become the very best version of themselves so that they can have more fun, live a better life and enjoy their work.

 

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My interview with Life Coach Hub

Just click here to read my fabulous interview with Life Coach Hub. I thoroughly enjoyed this and hope you will too.

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Picture courtesy of Life Coach Hub.

Contact me to have a free chat on how I can help you.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves so that they can have more fun, live a better life and enjoy their work.

 

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