Many people find it challenging to accept help, and even more challenging for some to ask for help. They somehow believe that asking for help they are undermining their ability to cope or they think they have failed in some way. Some also believe that asking for and taking help from others is a weakness.
All of those ways of thinking, whilst totally believable, have been ingrained in us through conditioning. I always remember my parents saying to me ‘You don’t need help, you are a big girl now, you can do it on your own’, or ‘Don’t be weak, get on with it yourself’. Thus, I thought for a long time that I should be able to cope and that I didn’t need help.
Remember, there are no shoulds in this world.
My parents believed they were doing the right thing, as they had been conditioned similarly by their parents.
Now is the time to bust those myths wide open! Asking for help does not come from a place of weakness, it comes from a place of strength!
Being aware that you need help in some areas shows a positive way of thinking and is in no way a sign of weakness. It is most definitely a sign of strength. There is no stigma attached to asking for help, there are no hard and fast rules about how much people must be able to struggle on without asking for help.
Take for example a shop owner. He/she opens a shop selling widgets and they become so popular that in a few short months the shop owner finds that going to the market to buy the widgets, stocking the shop, selling and answering customer queries on the phone is all too much. Without help the shop will most certainly fail, as customers will go to another shop where they perceive they are getting better service.
The shop owner needs to know when to ask for help, either by hiring a shop assistant or a buyer, or perhaps both. The business will then go from strength to strength as the customers will have their widgets, the shop owner can get on with selling them, and the buyer can get on with buying them.
Asking for help will find the solutions you are looking for. Burying problems is a sign of weakness and is the same as running away from the problem and hiding.
You also need to trust that you are worthy of receiving help and, of course, trust the person you go to for help. There are many exploitative people out there and you will detect them easily. Remember, it is about their karma, and not your worth. They will move away from you once they are discovered.
Don’t be fooled by the illusion that all problems are easy or that problems needing solving only apply to some people and not you. Never apologise for your need for help.
It is a good idea to prioritise your problems and your need to ask for help. If you can fix a problem on your own effectively then do it and reward yourself. However, if you have a problem where you can’t find a solution on your own, then ask for help.
There will be problems that nobody can fix. And there lies the greatest strength of all – letting go of that problem. Accept there is no solution and let it go.
Ask me for help with problems you may have in parts of your life. There is no stigma, it is a sign of strength and it is my life’s work to help other people to find solutions to their problems. Don’t ever be afraid to ask me for help.
Contact me to have a free chat on how my coaching can help you find solutions to your problems.
Creedence – Confidence for You
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