When we understand that the world outside of us is a reflection of the world inside of us, we could feel confused about who is to blame for the problems in our lives. If we had a difficult childhood, we may wonder how we can take responsibility for that, and in our current relationships, the same question arises. We all know that blaming others is the opposite of taking responsibility, but we may not understand how to take responsibility for things that we don’t feel responsible for. We may blame our parents for our low self-esteem, and we may blame our current partner for exacerbating it with their unconscious behaviour. Objectively, this seems to make sense. After all, it is not our fault if our parents were irresponsible or unkind, and we are not to blame for our partner’s bad behaviour.
Perhaps the problem lies with the action of blaming. Whether we blame others or blame ourselves, there is something aggressive and unkind about it. It sets up a situation in which it becomes difficult to move forward with the feelings of shame and guilt that arise. It also puts the resolution of our pain in the hands of someone other than us. Ultimately, we cannot insist that someone else take responsibility for their actions; only they can make that choice when they are ready. In the meantime, if we want to move forward with our lives instead of waiting around for something that may or may not happen, we begin to see the wisdom of taking the situation into our own hands. We begin to trust our innate thinking.
We do this by forgiving our parents, even if they have not asked for our forgiveness, so that we can be free. We end the abusive relationship with our partner, who may never admit to any wrongdoing, because we are willing to take responsibility for how we are treated. In short, we love ourselves as we want to be loved and create the life we know we deserve. We leave the resolution of the wrongs committed against us in the hands of the universe, releasing ourselves to live a life free of blame.
When you are ready to learn to relax and have more fun in your life, contact me and begin your journey. I would love work with you.
I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities. Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING
Hi Maggie That blog is absolutely fantastic and something which is often not talked about. For years I blamed my parents, until I found the freedom of forgiveness and letting go. Its a lighter, kinder, place to be. I realised my post- war parents did their very best for me with the knowledge and resources they had at the time. Thank you for saying what you have said. I hope Neato is still performing! Warm regards Sheelagh Sheelagh Ward1 Peckforton CloseGatleyCheadle CheshireSK8 4JAUKTel: 0161-491-4930Fax: 0161-491-4930 This email and its contents and attachments are private and may be confidential. It is intended for the recipient only. If misdirected please inform by telephone to confirm it has been deleted from your system and any copies destroyed. All incoming and outgoing mail is scanned using Norton AV 2009.