March 20, 2013 by Maggie Currie

Friends and family who sap your positive energy

The people with whom you have the most contact and who hang around you will have either a positive or negative effect on your levels of self-esteem and confidence.

We all know people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around. Have you noticed how they make you feel?

They make you feel the same as them, happy and positive! They can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with a positive, ‘can do’ vibe that has a knock on effect onto everyone else.

We also know of those people who could moan for England!

According to them they never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like other people to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – and so much more!

These people drain the energy from the room, and bring everyone down to their level, a million miles away from the level that YOU want to be operating on.

Some family members can be a lot like this, but you can always choose your friends, you can never choose your family!

What can you do to make sure that the people you have most contact with empower and support what you stand for rather than bring you down all of the time?

You have the power to choose who you have contact with. Ideally you want happy, vibrant and positive people. If there are people who are constantly draining our positive energy you have a couple of options. You can tell them how you feel and if they are really good friends they will respect your wishes and may change their behaviour. If they drift into the negative again, try to ignore it. Or if they aren’t really good friends, they will drift away and find someone else to drain.

The same can be said for your family. Your more mature relatives have been conditioned for many, many years and are a different generation. Appreciate where they have come from whilst being selective with the information that filters through to your brain. You have the same choices as with your friends for the younger relatives, tell them how you feel and they will either change something or drift away.

Don’t attach any guilt to your decisions, as it is your life and if you are tired of the negativity, it is time to do something about it.

You may well find that you make new friends who are positive and upbeat and some other members of your family may reappear who have also removed themselves from negative relatives.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

Self Awareness

When I was in my teens and even up to my early 40s I had very little self-awareness. I plodded along doing what I was told to do, manipulated by so many people. I was so totally not self-aware I didn’t even notice that I was living my life on other people’s terms.

It is only since I have trained to be a life coach that I have really discovered myself and discovered my own self awareness. I have found that to be able to grow into my own self-awareness I have to understand my feelings and emotions. This was quite a difficult journey for me, as I have suppressed feelings and emotions for many years. The reason – I was told by my parents when I was a child that I should be seen and not heard. I was told that I should not express anger or display any emotion. And so I learned to repress them.

Having this understanding now after learning so much about my feelings and emotions and rediscovering who I am really am, I know that I can express my feelings and emotions. And this is a huge step for me towards self-awareness. But what does self-awareness do for me? What are the benefits to me? Being self-aware has given me the opportunity and freedom to change those things I want to change about myself and create the life that I want. I now don’t allow others to manipulate me. I live my life on my terms. I am seen and heard and I do express my feelings and emotions.

The more clarity I get about who I am and what I want, and of course why I want it, the more I empower myself to consciously make those wants a reality. But, how do I get this clarity? I turn to the expert – ME. I know more about myself than anyone else, I know I have been manipulated and by whom. I know I have suppressed my feelings and emotions, and I know why. And I have got to know myself even better over the past few years by becoming so much more self-aware. I am, of course, still learning.

To get the clarity I want I have learned to ask myself questions and expect specific answers. The more specific my answers, the more impact they have on my life and then I have a much clearer picture of me. Of course, there are times when my answer is ‘I don’t know’ and I know that is okay too. I give myself the freedom to take a wild guess and this allows me to carry on. What I have discovered is that I really do know more than I ever thought I did.

Honesty is vital in my answers to myself. It will lead to my true self-awareness, but it does take a lot of courage. It is the courage to face my fears or to face something I find difficult to accept about myself. For instance, I know that I am impatient and want things to happen now. I also know that when people are speaking to me I get impatient to hear the end of what they are saying, and I tend to try to finish their sentences for them. I know this about myself and do my best to bite my tongue and not jump in with the answers. By being totally honest with myself I take ownership of my actions, thoughts and feelings and find those beliefs that are no longer serving me. Those beliefs can then be discarded, altered or whatever feels right for me.

I find that sometimes I do slip up and give an answer that perhaps I think I should give, rather than what I really know is right. That means I am giving answers from my head rather than getting in touch with my feelings and getting the answer there. To get out of my head again, I take several deep breaths and start to listen to my body, to notice where it is hurting and breathe into that place. This helps me to balance myself and to find the answers I need, and they come from inside me rather than from my head.

I know that whatever I discover about myself I can handle with ease and acceptance. I trust that whatever I discover about myself will in some way lead to a greater sense of me and increased self-awareness.

I have found that practising listening to my body has enabled me to get to grips with my emotions and feelings in a way that I have never been able to do before. And of course I am learning every day more and more about myself too.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate…..it is a lack of self belief

I know how it feels to have feelings of inadequacy. I feared that I wasn’t good enough, that others didn’t think I was good enough either. I doubted by abilities and whether I actually knew anything at all. Those feelings made my body feel heavy and sluggish, they made my brain all fuggy and hard to get going. I felt totally unmotivated and really had to force myself to keep appointments and to do all the usual everyday things like looking after myself properly. I didn’t want to prepare any meals and therefore wasn’t eating properly. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate… it is really that we have little self belief.

The lack of self belief is something that had become a habit because I was always told that I was average when I was growing up and that I would never amount to anything. And having been told that so many times, I believed it. I believed it for many, many years until I started reading about self-development and coaching. Something clicked for me, and I decided that I probably do more than I originally thought.

I began to take courses in coaching, corporate coaching, NLP, confidence coaching and I discovered that not only did I love this work, I was good at it. No – I was very good at it indeed. And I loved every minute of it and still do. I am passionate about helping other people to develop as themselves and to boost their confidence and self belief.

Now I thought that after achieving all those diplomas, and all the many hours and days of hard work I had done to achieve them, I would get rid of those feelings of being inadequacy. But I was wrong. They all came back again and it was like reliving the same old behaviour patterns again. What could I do?

I trained in emotion based coaching as an addition to my already extensive qualifications and I learned to look at my old unexpressed feelings which were affecting my life and learned to acknowledge them, deal with them and this allowed me to live my life as me in a much more confident way. Working on myself I again had those feelings of inadequacy, but this time found the solutions to make those nasty feelings go away. I made a list of all the things that I do creatively and a list of my innovativity. That took some thinking about but I did it, and it really worked. I am feeling so much more confident now in myself and who I am and what I have to offer to myself, my husband, my friends-in-deed and of course my clients.

Getting good responses from the people I coach whilst they are getting great results makes such a difference to my confidence levels. I know that I am a brilliant coach with a lot to offer my clients and I know that I do a grand job with them.

I take each day as it comes and I boost my confidence by reading my lists of creativity and innovativity, watch the results of my clients and support people in the coaching community and know that I am confident in my abilities and in me. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate…..it is a lack of self belief. It is very common for people going through divorce to lose their self-belief and that is where I can help.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Unqualified vs Qualified Coaches

There are thousands of ‘coaches’ out there who have never been trained to coach, have never been coached themselves and have absolutely no idea where to begin or indeed where to end.

Equally, there are a similar number of ‘coaches’ out there who are qualified and have never been coached themselves and also have absolutely no idea what they are doing.

I can only speak from my own experience, and I have found that learning how to be a coach is very much different from being a coach. And being a coach means drawing on all learnings and experiences accumulated throughout my life.

How so you may well ask. Well I have trained with five different coach training providers since 2004 and all have their own ways of interpreting coaching.

For instance, one said that once I had passed their diploma course I was a trained life coach. That may well have been true, but the course itself gave very little insight into the myriad of different strategies that can, and are, used in coaching. On passing the course I was now a qualified life coach.

Another taught me all I needed to know to become corporate coach, but again left me short of knowledge and experience when it came to working with organisations that varied in the ways they operated. On passing their course I was now a qualified corporate coach.

I have learned over the years that my life experiences count just as much as all the coach training. Listening to my clients and knowing when to ask the right question came from practise. It is nothing that can be learned from a course or a book, it comes with experience of working with so many different people.

I love being a coach, it doesn’t feel like a job to me. I find it so rewarding when I see the ‘penny drop’ and my clients get it, take action and change their lives for the better. It is something that I just love getting out of bed for every morning.

All the training I have undertaken has had its uses, and I always learned something new and worthwhile, and I can honestly say that I am highly qualified and experienced as a coach.

I enjoy being coached, and in fact work with several coaches where we all coach each other, supervise, teach and learn. It works very well as each has something different to bring to the table. The fact that we are spread out over the world in the UK, USA and Australia causes a few time zone headaches, but we usually work it all out between us, and Skype is a fabulous tool.

So who wins in the Unqualified Coach vs Qualified Coach competition? I don’t think there is a definitive answer. It all depends on the coach and the outcome you want. If the outcome you get is satisfactory to you, then I am not sure it really matters. I know there will be lots of you who will disagree, and I would love to hear from you.

My speciality is coaching professional business women who are going through, or have been through, divorce, life trauma, redundancy etc. The type of woman who has to look perfect on the outside to give her presentation to the board, but who is falling to bits on the inside, and the cracks are beginning to show. The fantastically successful outcomes my clients have had are just wonderful.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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February 2, 2013 by Maggie Currie

Can Divorcees and Singles Survive Valentine’s Day?

Going through divorce often leaves you feeling that you have nobody to rely on, other than yourself. So take advantage of you and really look after yourself on this day. Turn the focus of your attention to you. Buy yourself something special, something you will really love and appreciate. It maybe something that you wouldn’t usually think of buying for yourself, but on this occasion it feels right to do it. Here are some more suggestions for you to feel special on this loving day:

treat yourself to a day being pampered at the spa.
treat yourself to a special meal and enjoy it in the comfort of your own home. You don’t have to cook it yourself, unless you really want to, you can order it by phone and have it delivered to your door. Use your favourite crockery, buy a bottle of wine and enjoy your chosen feast.
watch your favourite film or read a good book.
How about you and some of your best friends getting together to watch a few of the worst romantic comedy films you can find. Have a fun evening with people you love to be with and who love to be with you.
Make some new resolutions, as most New Year resolutions are fading now. Make a Valentine’s Day resolution to love yourself. Resolve to take some evening classes or to go on that trip you have been promising yourself. Resolve to try new restaurants or to try new recipes. Make a resolution that you will make a start towards the dreams you know you want to achieve.
If you have children why not make the day special for them as well as you. Buy some little gifts – chocolates, stuffed toys, model cars etc. – and make a present hunt game with clues, and they can fun trying to find the gifts and you will have fun watching them.
Organise a trip to the zoo or cinema with the children

Whatever it is you choose to do, whether it is on your own, with friends or with your children, make sure it is fun for you.

Do not:

Find a stranger to spend the evening with. You will regret it in the morning and make it worse for yourself when the next Valentine’s Day comes around.
Watch tv programmes filled with loves stories.
Get all dressed up at work as your colleagues will jump to conclusions and make your life a misery all day.
Sit at home being miserable and feeling sorry for yourself because you don’t have someone to share this sill day with.
Beat yourself up for feeling miserable and lonely. Anyone who has been through, or is going through, divorce has been there and had times like these. It is never easy. Take the time to grieve and heal. Nobody understands divorce better than those who have been through it.

A great thing to do would be to wait until February 15th and then treat yourself to a heart-shaped box of chocolates at half price, or buy some flowers for you for half price.

Remember, it is just one day, you have been through worse in your divorce. It will all be over in the morning.

Plan your life around yourself and learn to really love yourself again. This will not only be fun and interesting, but loving yourself is the basis of beginning your new life as the new, confident you.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

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July 25, 2012 by Maggie Currie

Living in the moment

I went on a road trip from the Isle of Wight to Perth in Scotland. I left on a Monday with my husband and we drove 200 miles towing our caravan to stay overnight in a camp site in Nottingham. The lady there was lovely and had her own little bar with real ales. We slept there and then set off again on Tuesday for County Durham.

We drove another 200 miles and stayed for two nights in a camp site near Beamish. The caravan site was impersonal and quite frankly money grabbing, asking for £20 deposit for the keys to the toilet block and the gate to get in and out. We visited Beamish, the museum, on Wednesday and rode on the old trams and buses, went into the department store that sold everything you could think of, the sweet shop and the old tea rooms. It as a wonderful day out and we thoroughly enjoyed it.

On Thursday we travelled another 200 miles to Scone Palace in Perth in Scotland and spent 4 nights there at the Rewind Scotland Festival. Loads of 80s bands were playing and we were doing Indian Head Massage for the punters. It was fun, we met some lovely people on the other trade stands and the punters of course.

On Monday we set off for home, travelled 280 miles to stay in a camp site in Lancaster. The lady there was lovely and friendly and we slept well.

On Tuesday we had another 280 mile drive to Southampton to catch the ferry back to the Isle of Wight.

How is this all connected to living in the moment you may ask? Well, I have deliberately enjoyed the whole trip by staying in the moment and not thinking about what is going to happen when we get back. After all, the more we stay in the moment, the more fun we have and the less worry we have. If only I had known how to do this when I going through divorce. My life would have been so much easier.

Interestingly, last night I began to think about what was going to happen tomorrow with my work and instantly felt a tightening in my chest. So I deliberately stopped thinking about it and the tightness faded. I listened to my body and to my own advice.

It has worked for me and I am feeling relaxed and energised, enjoyed the journey home. Tomorrow is another day and I will live in the moment again, and again.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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July 15, 2012 by Maggie Currie

Where would I rather be?

I would rather be sitting in a deck chair with a good book, ‘Living Your Design: A Manual for Cellular Transformation (Student Manual)’ by Lynda Stone comes to mind. I don’t mind where I place the deck chair, it could be in the middle of a field, on a beach, in a clearing in a forest, in a park – but it has to be in nature. I love watching the animals and birds going about their daily business. Watching children playing happily, laughing and having fun.

So where am I now? In my office finishing off the final bits of work that I had on my to do list, doing the last bits of washing and packing clothes and things for my road trip to Scotland that starts tomorrow.

Leaving home at around 8am to get my caravan that is stored on a farm about 10 miles away. Hitch it up to our van and then off to East Cowes to get the ferry to Southampton. Then off to Perth via County Durham and the Beamish museum and aiming to arrive in Perth on Thursday.

I have planned to meet up with an old friend just outside Leeds on Tuesday, someone I haven’t seen for 5 years, and I am really looking forward to having a cuppa and a chat with her.

The camp sites are booked for our overnight stays on the way up to Perth and then we will be at Scone Palace at the Rewind Festival from Thursday to Monday. I love the change of scenery, the change of work (we will be offering Indian Head massage to the festival goers and traders) and scenery.

Heading back home on Monday, staying overnight in Lancashire and then home on Tuesday evening.

So back to where I would rather be. Reading a book in nature. I am going to achieve this over the next few days.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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July 1, 2012 by Maggie Currie

My technically challenging two weeks

Where do I start? This last couple of weeks have been horrendous in respect of my computer.

I had the tower built for me to accommodate my specific requirements and for 8 months it has been working well. A couple of weeks ago it began to hang and then there was a shimmer on the screens. The engineer who built it was called and he replaced the video card which he claimed would ‘probably’ fix it. Well, it didn’t. It made it ten times worse. The shimmer was gone, but the computer crashed, and crashed and crashed.

Engineer came back and replaced the power supply and memory cards. ‘That should fix it, otherwise I have no idea’ he said No different, the computer crashed and crashed all over again. But, of course, he had gone by then.

Contacted engineer who claimed that I had told him that he wasn’t fixing the computer in a timely manner. This I had never said or implied, all I asked is that the computer is fixed. He said it would have been fixed sooner if I hadn’t been adamant that it should not be taken away to their workshop. I wasn’t adamant, I said I would prefer that it wasn’t taken away.

So on Wednesday morning I went out and bought a new tower, Kelvin transferred everything to it and I am up and running again. This took most of the day. My work was piling up and I was letting down my coaching clients who I speak with on Skype.

All this hassle, and without the help of my technical genius husband I would be totally stuck. Nothing would get done. Fortunately everything is backed up offsite and retrieving everything was relatively easy.

So computer is being collected on Monday to be diagnosed and ‘fixed’. Meanwhile I am able to work and get on with my daily life and work with my clients using my new computer.

The gift of this situation is that I am able to calmly go about my daily work, even through all this disruption. My experiences and learning mean I don’t freak out, I accept the situation and deal with it calmly and with positivity. Previously I would have freaked out, and run around in circles getting absolutely nowhere.

I have also learned that I can find and download programmes and tools, I am capable and life goes on.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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June 19, 2012 by Maggie Currie

Friends come and go for a reason

I was considering why it is that friends come into our lives and some of them go out of our lives again.

There are many reasons but for me I think that some people fall away because of the changes I have made to myself. I have learned so much about myself that I was unaware of. For instance I have stuffed emotions and feelings down because I was conditioned not to show emotion or share feelings.

When I was in a toxic relationship I had very few friends, and those I did have were not that close. I wasn’t allowed to get close to anybody. Getting divorced and learning to live my life as me has been a steep learning curve.

I have learned how to express my feelings, get close to people and keep others at arm’s length. Now that I am able to express emotions and share my feelings other people may find this unacceptable to them. And that is okay. What I am comfortable with is not always comfortable for everyone else. And that may be why some friends have moved away.

The friends I have currently are wonderful. Some live nearby, some live on different continents, but I am grateful to them all for their friendship and support. I do my best to support all my friends, it may be in a big way or in a small way.

I am grateful for all the friends I have had, still have and those I have yet to meet for their contributions to my life.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

Website

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June 8, 2012 by Maggie Currie

What makes me laugh?

I was wondering what to write and then it came to me – what makes me laugh?

The things children say that are so honest and innocent – for instance my granddaughter Abigail who is 9 years old now, was asked when she was about 18 months old to go and do something with her mother. Her reply was ‘I haven’t finished yet’. When asked by her mother what she was doing that she hadn’t finished yet, Abigail replied ‘Looking out of the window’. Now that made me laugh, because it was so cute, so innocent and so honest.

My husband makes me laugh on occasion. Sometimes it is something he says, sometimes it something he does, it could be the way he looks.

Dogs make me laugh by the way they run around in circles trying to catch their tails, or chase leaves or each other.

Monkeys with their antics, squirrels playing with their acorns, horses trotting around their fields.

My face in the mirror first thing in the morning is hilarious.

I love to watch people and often the way they behave makes me laugh. It could be that they are tipsy and giggly, or they have a specific way of packing their shopping into their bags.

Laughing doesn’t mean I am ridiculing, it means that I am enjoying what I am seeing and feeling. I love people and animals. I find them fascinating and intriguing.

So lots of things make me laugh, sometimes inwardly and sometimes with a full on belly laugh. The latter is extremely good as I can feel my mood shifting too.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

The people with whom you have the most contact and who hang around you will have either a positive or negative effect on your levels of self-esteem and confidence.

We all know people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around. Have you noticed how they make you feel?

They make you feel the same as them, happy and positive! They can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with a positive, ‘can do’ vibe that has a knock on effect onto everyone else.

We also know of those people who could moan for England!

According to them they never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like other people to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – and so much more!

These people drain the energy from the room, and bring everyone down to their level, a million miles away from the level that YOU want to be operating on.

Some family members can be a lot like this, but you can always choose your friends, you can never choose your family!

What can you do to make sure that the people you have most contact with empower and support what you stand for rather than bring you down all of the time?

Don’t attach any guilt to your decisions, as it is your life and if you are tired of the negativity, it is time to do something about it.

You may well find that you make new friends who are positive and upbeat and some other members of your family may reappear who have also removed themselves from negative relatives.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

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When I was in my teens and even up to my early 40s I had very little self-awareness. I plodded along doing what I was told to do, manipulated by so many people. I was so totally not self-aware I didn’t even notice that I was living my life on other people’s terms.

I know that whatever I discover about myself I can handle with ease and acceptance. I trust that whatever I discover about myself will in some way lead to a greater sense of me and increased self-awareness.

I have found that practising listening to my body has enabled me to get to grips with my emotions and feelings in a way that I have never been able to do before. And of course I am learning every day more and more about myself too.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

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Getting good responses from the people I coach whilst they are getting great results makes such a difference to my confidence levels. I know that I am a brilliant coach with a lot to offer my clients and I know that I do a grand job with them.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

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Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

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treat yourself to a day being pampered at the spa.

treat yourself to a special meal and enjoy it in the comfort of your own home. You don’t have to cook it yourself, unless you really want to, you can order it by phone and have it delivered to your door. Use your favourite crockery, buy a bottle of wine and enjoy your chosen feast.

watch your favourite film or read a good book.

How about you and some of your best friends getting together to watch a few of the worst romantic comedy films you can find. Have a fun evening with people you love to be with and who love to be with you.

If you have children why not make the day special for them as well as you. Buy some little gifts – chocolates, stuffed toys, model cars etc. – and make a present hunt game with clues, and they can fun trying to find the gifts and you will have fun watching them.

Organise a trip to the zoo or cinema with the children

Whatever it is you choose to do, whether it is on your own, with friends or with your children, make sure it is fun for you.

Get all dressed up at work as your colleagues will jump to conclusions and make your life a misery all day.

Sit at home being miserable and feeling sorry for yourself because you don’t have someone to share this sill day with.

Beat yourself up for feeling miserable and lonely. Anyone who has been through, or is going through, divorce has been there and had times like these. It is never easy. Take the time to grieve and heal. Nobody understands divorce better than those who have been through it.

A great thing to do would be to wait until February 15th and then treat yourself to a heart-shaped box of chocolates at half price, or buy some flowers for you for half price.

Remember, it is just one day, you have been through worse in your divorce. It will all be over in the morning.

Plan your life around yourself and learn to really love yourself again. This will not only be fun and interesting, but loving yourself is the basis of beginning your new life as the new, confident you.

Maggie Currie

Share this:

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

Share this:

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

Share this:

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

Share this:

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

Share this:

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

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