April 19, 2013 by Maggie Currie

The difference between our outside voice and our inner voice

I was thinking about how we communicate with each other, and how often we assume we have heard what the other person has said. But have we?

Everyone has their own internal filtering process to help us choose which parts of our constant inner monologues get voiced outside of our heads. Often that choice is based on what we consider to be polite or appropriate, using subtlety instead of directness to try to get our point across.

Although sometimes the choice is made based on our perceived expectations of the other person.

I believe that my best chance of getting what I need is to communicate by converting my inner voice to my outside voice.

This may seem unnecessary sometimes, especially when I think the other person has the same information I am working with. But I have to remember they also have their own inner voice, evaluating what they hear in light of their own issues and needs.

With so much to consider and sift through, I think I am truly better off if I communicate precisely. Not only does doing this minimise the chance for misinterpretation, but voicing my thoughts is an act of creation.

I convert my thoughts and imagination to sound, releasing them from my mind into the outside world. This carries energy and intention with it, making my thoughts, wishes and even dreams come true.

When we have the courage to speak our minds and use our voice to state what we really want, we take a bold step in making that happen. By removing the fear of what others may think and the expectation of what we think others should understand, we free ourselves and our thoughts and let loose our desires into the world.

Next time you become aware that you have a choice about how to communicate, choose to use your outside voice and watch its creative power at work.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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April 14, 2013 by Maggie Currie

Is the feeling of fear real?

The feeling of fear. What is it? Can you describe it?

When I ask this of myself and others, the replies are the thoughts people have about fear and not a description of the “feeling” of fear.

That is not unexpected, after all it is the left brain’s, rational/analytical job to put into words feelings that arise from somewhere in our bodies, the subconscious.

Instinct, intuition, imagination and everything else that’s in the right brain doesn’t generally speak to us.

The subconscious mind speaks and thinks in pictures, senses and sensations, urges, vibrations, waves, patterns, connections and possibly in other intangible ways.

So when you talk about fear you are actually talking about your thinking. You are talking about the mind’s attempt to translate your physiological responses through thought and language and how it tries to make rational sense.

I believe your emotions are just that, authentic feelings being expressed in thought. And fear is just such an emotion.

That’s what is making me think that fear doesn’t really exist in any other dimension of our being. I believe it is possible that there is no such thing as fear outside of the subconscious mind. That the feeling of fear is not real. The case has been made in the past that fear is necessary for self-preservation. But is it?

The fight or flight survival response is an occurrence that happens without thought. It really doesn’t have the time to be otherwise. Look at something you are ‘scared of’, a spider, a bear, a clown. Do you feel fear or are you thinking fear?

If you were to walk around the corner and come face to face with a huge grizzly bear, you would definitely feel something right away. But is that feeling fear?

If you listen to people who have encountered survival situations, whether they be stopping someone falling off a cliff, ripping the door off a burning car, disarming a man with a knife, they will say their sense in that moment was not fear. They were too busy with their actions.

Fear after the act, yes.

We have all felt that thing that our mind has labelled fear. But is that what it really is?

Maybe not.

FEAR =

False

Expectations

Appearing

Real

Think about the interview scenario: You are sitting waiting to go into the room, you think ‘what if there are ten people on the panel’, ‘what if they ask me questions I can’t answer’, ‘what if they are all wearing suits’.

What are you actually afraid of? You are not afraid of the panel, you are not afraid of the questions, you are not afraid of the suits. You are not afraid of the reality, but of the negative expectation, or thoughts, of what you imagine might happen next.

But if any of those things did really upset you that much, you would take flight and there really wouldn’t be any thought involved at all. Your intuition and instinct rule your fight or flight response. Only 2% of our fears actually occur, the other 98% are just imagined.

Trust in your intuition and don’t let false expectations drive your life.

Do you want to remain stuck and miserable with the fear of making changes in your life?

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.