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Defence mechanisms

We all have defence mechanisms that we’ve developed over time, often without being aware of it. In times of trouble, the behaviours that have worked to get us past challenges with the least amount of pain are the ones that we repeat; even when part of us knows they no longer work. Such behaviour is a natural response from our mental and physical aspects. But because we are spiritual beings as well, we have the ability to rise above habits and patterns to see the truth that lay beyond. And from that moment on, we can make choices that allow us to work directly from that place of truth within us.

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Most of our defence mechanisms were developed in childhood; from the moment that we realised crying could get us the attention we craved. Passive aggressive ways of communicating may have allowed us to get what we needed without being scolded, punished or laughed at, so we learned to avoid being direct and honest. Some of us may have taken refuge in the lives of others, discovering ways to direct attention away from ourselves entirely. Throwing ourselves into projects or rescuing others from themselves can be effective ways to avoid dealing with our own issues. And when people are truly helped by our actions, we get the added bonus of feeling heroic. But while defences can keep away the things we fear, they can also work to keep our good from us.

When we can be honest with ourselves about what we truly desire, then we can connect our desires to the creative power of the spirit within us. Knowing that we are one with the energy of the universe allows us to release any need for defence. Trusting that power, we know that we are exactly where we are meant to be, and that challenges bring gifts of growth and experience. When we can put down arms raised in defence, then we are free to use our hands, minds, hearts and spirits to mould and shape our abundant energy to create and live our lives.

If this has resonated with you in any way, and you would like to start living your life in the driving seat rather than the passenger seat, please get in touch. hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk. Work with me, improve your confidence and learn how to maintain or exit a relationship. Relearn how to live your life in the front row, take control of your own life. 

Work with me. Many people don’t realise the importance of securing a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

Get in touch today.

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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The wonderment of life

There are many things we don’t need to do in our lives. Most of us begin our days with a continuous list of things we need to do to keep our lives running smoothly, but we rarely take time to note all the things we don’t need to do. For example, we don’t need work out how to breathe. We don’t need to find a way to make sure the earth continues to revolve around the sun. We don’t need to concentrate to ensure that our heart beats and our cells regenerate. All of these things, and many more, take care of themselves without our having to think or do anything at all. This is the miracle of life on earth. 

Beyond the wonder of the natural world, we have the wonder of human-created conditions such as indoor plumbing, electricity, cars, aeroplanes, telephones, and the Internet to name a few. Someone living just a hundred years ago would be overwhelmed by the ease with which we can communicate with people all over the world. Every day, millions of us jump on aeroplanes and fly to distant locations in a matter of hours. If we have access to a computer, we can read obscure information about any subject, free of charge, at any time of the day or night. And yet, it’s only when one of these miraculous inventions fails that we notice it at all. 

When you wake up tomorrow, take time to notice how many things are running smoothly, how many small miracles compose your day. If you wear glasses or contact lenses, as you put them on, take a moment to appreciate the fact that without them, you would be unable to see so well. Your life would be entirely different if someone hadn’t invented corrective lenses. As you take in your world, you might feel a moment of gratitude for the basic fact that, once again, the sun has risen to illuminate the abundant earth, and the earth’s gravitational field holds you and all that you hold dear in a tight, life-affirming embrace. 

If this has resonated with you in any way, and you would like to start living your life in the driving seat rather than the passenger seat, please get in touch. hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk. Work with me, improve your confidence and learn how to maintain or exit a relationship. Relearn how to live your life in the front row, take control of your own life. 

Work with me. Many people don’t realise the importance of securing a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

Get in touch today.

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Fresh mind

We are able to learn in the blink of an eye about something that happened halfway around the world, and it’s natural for us to want to know what’s going on. However, it’s also fair to say that we don’t want to become so caught up in one way of looking at events that we lose perspective. There is a lot of information available to us at this time in history, more than ever before, and it travels fast.  Often, the news comes to us in a very fear oriented format, and when too many of us get caught up in that fear, the balance of the whole is disrupted. It helps to remember that we have a much greater and more positive impact on the world when we maintain our inner sense of peace and joy

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We are aware enough to know when we are eating something that is not good for us, because we don’t feel well after we’ve eaten it. In the same way, we can determine for ourselves whether the sources in which our information comes are equally not good for us. News can be presented in a way that inspires us to take positive action to help the world, or it can be presented in a way that leaves us feeling powerless and sad. It is up to us to seek out and support media that empowers and informs us, and to say no to media that drains our energy and our hope.

For a time, it may even be of benefit to commit to a media fast, in which we stop taking information in for a time to give ourselves a rest. When we return to the task of taking in and processing the information all around us, we will come to it with a fresh mind. This will enable us to really notice how we are affected by what we hear and see, and to make conscious choices about the sources of information that we allow into our lives.

If this has resonated with you in any way, and you would like to start living your life in the driving seat rather than the passenger seat, please get in touch. hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk. Work with me, improve your confidence and learn how to maintain or exit a relationship. Relearn how to live your life in the front row, take control of your own life. 

Work with me. Many people don’t realise the importance of securing a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

Get in touch today.

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Knowing Better Now

When we look back at the past, knowing what we know now, we often find it difficult to understand how we made the mistakes we made. This is because once we learn new information, it is nearly impossible to re-enter the headspace we were in before we learned that information. And so we look back at parents who spanked their kids, for example, and wonder how they could have thought that was a good idea. Similarly, our personal pasts are full of mistakes we can’t believe we made. We did things then that we would never do now, and this is precisely because we have information now that we didn’t have then, or weren’t able to access, then. 

From ideas about how to raise children to how to treat the environment, our collective human past sometimes reads like a document on what not to do. In many ways, this is exactly as it should be. We learn from living and having experiences. It is from these past actions that we garnered the information that guides us to live differently now. Just so, in our personal lives, we probably had to have a few unsuccessful relationships or jobs, learning about our negative tendencies through them, in order to gain the wisdom we now have. 

In order to live more peacefully with the past, it helps to remember that once we know better, we tend to do better. Prior to knowing, we generally do our best, and while it’s true that from the perspective of the present, our best doesn’t always seem good enough, we can at least give our past selves the benefit of the doubt. We did our best with what knowledge we had. Beyond this, we serve the greater good most effectively by not dwelling on the past since it can’t be changed, instead reigning our energy and knowledge into our present actions. It is here, in this moment, that we create our reality and ourselves anew, with our current knowledge and information. 

If this has resonated with you in any way, and you would like to start living your life in the driving seat rather than the passenger sear, please get in touch. hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk. Work with me, improve your confidence and see how much more you can achieve. Relearn how to live your life in the front row, take control of your own life. 

Work with me. Many people don’t realise the importance of securing a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Finding the gift in a bad day

We have all had days when we are convinced the world is against us or that the chaos we are currently experiencing will never end. Each negative circumstance seems to lead to another, and another and so on. You may wonder, as we all have on a bad day, whether anything in your life will ever go right again. But a bad day, like any other day, can be a gift. Having a bad day can show you, if you choose to notice, that it is time to slow down, change course or simply lighten up. A bad day can help you gain wisdom you might otherwise have overlooked or discounted.

Bad days can certainly cause you to experience some uncomfortable feelings you would really prefer to avoid. That same bad day may also give you a potent means to learn more about yourself.
You may think that a bad day is one where you have missed an ‘important’ meeting because your car broke down or the washing machine broke or you received a piece of very bad news earlier in the day. Several misfortunes that take place, one after the other, can leave us feeling vulnerable and intensely aware of our fragility.

Although it is good to remember that bad days can only have a long-term negative effect on us if we allow them to. It is a good idea to ask yourself what you can learn from these kinds of days. The state of your bad day may give you a clue that you need to stay in and hibernate or let go of your growing negativity. It can give you a clue that you need to slow down and cut down on your workload.
Bad days also contribute to the people we become. Though we may feel discouraged and distressed on our bad days, a bad day can also teach us patience and perseverance.

When you think back to that bad day you have just experienced, is there something positive that came out of it? For instance, when you missed that ‘important’ meeting because your car broke down, was there an accident on the road ahead that you avoided? Or did you suddenly feel ill and were able to get the help you needed straight away, rather than waiting until the end of the meeting? Think very hard about what happened on that bad day, was there anything positive at all that happened? If so consider what would have happened if the day had gone as you originally planned.  Smile if you find the gift in your bad day. It is definitely important to remember that your attitude drives your destiny.  It is also good to remember that one negative experience does not indicate that it is the beginning of an ongoing streak of bad luck. A bad day is memorable because it is only one day among many good days. Otherwise, we would not even bother to acknowledge it as a bad day. Be aware that you are not being singled out, everybody has bad days. You are not alone, the world is not against you.

Remember, tomorrow is a brand new day.  

If this has resonated with you in any way, and you would like to start living your life in the driving seat rather than the passenger sear, please get in touch. hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk. Work with me, improve your confidence and see how much more you can achieve. Relearn how to live your life in the front row, take control of your own life. 

Work with me. Many people don’t realise the importance of securing a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Perception

As far as I know there is no secret recipe for happiness or contentment. The people who move through life joyously have not necessarily been blessed with lives of abundance, success and prosperity. These people do have the ability, however, to take the circumstances they’ve been given and make them into something great.

Our individual realities are affected by our perceptions – delight and despair come from within rather than from external sources.  Situations we perceive as fortuitous please us, whereas situations we perceive to be inauspicious cause us no end of grief.

neon signage

Photo by Ivan Bertolazzi on Pexels.com

Yet if we look at all the things we have accomplished and make each new situation our own, the world will become a much brighter place. A simple shift in our attitude can help us excavate our potential for fulfilment in every event, every relationship, every duty and every setback.

The Universe is often unpredictable and we as humans tend to focus on the negative and assume the positive will care for itself.  But life is no more or no less than what we make of it.

If you are working in a job you dislike, you can think to yourself, ‘what if I did like this job?’ and find the positive aspects of the position and approach your work with a different attitude.  By doing this you can turn it around so you like it and enjoy it more.

When faced with the prospect of tackling something you fear, you can think of it as an opportunity to discover what you are truly capable of doing.  Similarly, events that are unexpected, if you view them as surprises, can add a new dimension to your daily life.  By choosing to love life, you can create an atmosphere of happiness that is wonderfully infectious.  A change in your perspective is all it takes to change your world, but you have to be willing to adopt an optimistic, hopeful mind-set.

To make a conscious decision to be happy is not enough. You must re-learn how to view life’s complexities as though seeing them through the eyes of a child seeing everything for the first time. You must also try and rid yourself of any preconceived ideas of what is good and what is bad so that you can appreciate the rich insights hiding in various stages of your life’s journey.

And you must strive to discover the pleasure of wanting what you already have.  As you begin to shift your perspective, your life will be permeated with happiness, and this will remain with you forever.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Being alone

The most important relationship you have in your life is with yourself.  Even though you are the only one who is present at every moment of your life – from conception onward – this relationship can be the most difficult one to cultivate.  This is possibly because society places such emphasis on the importance of being in a romantic partnership, even instilling beliefs that you should set aside your own needs for the needs of others.

Until you know yourself, however, you cannot possibly choose the right relationship to support your mutual growth toward your highest potential.  By allowing yourself to be comfortable with being alone, you can become the person with whom you want to have a relationship.

happy young woman sitting on floor in studio with closed eyes

Photo by Natalia Kycha on Pexels.com

It would appear that at no other time in history has it been possible for people to survive, and even thrive, whilst living alone.  We can now support ourselves financially, socially and emotionally without depending on a spouse for survival in any of these areas.  With this freedom, we can pursue our own interests and create fulfilling partnerships with friends, business partners and neighbours.  Once we’ve satisfied our needs and created our support system, a partner then becomes someone with whom we can share the bounty of all we’ve created as well as the beauty we’ve discovered within ourselves.

When we move away from tradition and fall into more natural cycles of being in the world today, we often find that there are times where being alone nourishes us while we find other times in which a partnership is best for our growth.  We may need to learn to create spaces to be alone within relationships. When we can shift our expectations of our relationships with ourselves and others to opportunities for discovery, we open ourselves to forge new paths and encounter uncharted territory.

Being willing to know and love ourselves, and to find what truly makes us feel deeply and strongly, gives us the advantage of being able to attract and choose the right people with whom to share ourselves, whether those relationships fall into recognisable roles or not.

Choosing to enjoy being alone allows us to fully explore our most important relationship -the one with our true selves.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Don’t die with your music still in you

The title is a paraphrase of the Emerson quote about how “Most men die with their music still in them.”

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Am I doing what I came here to do?
  • Am I, at least in part, ‘playing my special music’?

If you answered yes to the questions, or are at least pursuing them, then I congratulate you. If your answer is no –  what you are waiting for?!

woman holding mirror against her head in the middle of forest

Photo by Tasha Kamrowski on Pexels.com

We are all special in this world.  Each of us has some special contribution to make to the world.  Perhaps it’s to write a book.  Perhaps your special gift is in being a great teacher or coach. It could be you are the next person to discover a cure for a major disease, or to start a business and be the best you can be at what you do. Are you a builder who is passionate about your work?  Do you dream of being a great parent, artist, or baker?  Whatever the passion is within you, let it out.  Life is too fragile and uncertain to postpone your dreams, hoping that someday, you will really begin to live your life.  Begin now!  Whatever it is you are passionate about, you can begin it now.  What are you waiting for?

When I lived in Basingstoke, Hampshire, my next door neighbour Maureen was really looking forward to her retirement.  She had planned everything she was going to do with her life once she could stop work and concentrate on herself. There were so many things she hadn’t yet done and when she had the time after her retirement she was going to do them all. Six months before her 60th birthday Maureen was diagnosed with terminal cancer and she died before she even got to be 60.  She never did get to retire or do all the many things that she had planned to do when she retired. It saddens me to see someone who is near the end their life, never having taken a step to realise their dream.  It saddens me that anyone should leave this earth with their music still in them. You owe it to yourself to let it out!

Imagine in your mind a mirror.  Look into that mirror and see yourself as you are today.  Now  I want you to imagine yourself at the age of 80, see those sparkling eyes looking back at you.  I want you then to turn round and look back through the years of your life and note all the things you have achieved up to the age of 80.  How many things have you achieved? Wouldn’t it be sad if you were to look back at 80 and say to yourself ‘I haven’t achieved anything in all my years’.  Don’t wait , begin now.  What are you waiting for? Don’t die with your music still in you.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Saying Yes, Saying No

If you were to hover above your daily life and view all the things that make it up, at what you do with each minute of your 24 hours, each and every day, at all the people and things that are part of it.  How much of it would you feel you had actually chosen ?

The truth is you chose all of it, on some level or another.  And even if there are some things you don’t feel like you chose, you certainly chose to allow them to continue. So, if you have all this choice, how come you reach a point from time to time where life seems incredibly cluttered and pressured?  Maybe you have lost sight of what you’re saying yes to and no to…and why you are saying yes or no.

photo of person s hand with words

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

If you’ve ever listened to yourself say yes when you really wanted to say no, you’ll know how bad that feels.  For some people, each day is like that.  So what does that leave them with?  Lots of what they don’t want filling their time and little or no time for what they do want to fill their time! My guess is that we all have been in this situation to a greater or lesser extent.  Perhaps we have over-committed ourselves to work or other areas, tried to fit too much into our time, attempted to do lots of things at once, finding ourselves doing things that don’t energise us and perhaps, in some cases, draining us.  So what do we do about it?  Have a spring-clean!

The secret to spring-cleaning your life is in the use of those simple words ‘yes’ and ‘no’.  Are there situations, people or commitments in your life that you regularly say yes to, that you’d love to be able to say no to?  How much time could you free up by saying no to things that don’t give you anything and that you don’t enjoy?  What could you do with that time instead? By consciously looking at what we don’t want to be doing with our time, we can clear out the clutter and make space for a better quality of life.  We open up our time for the things we enjoy, clearing the way for new opportunities to have fun and to grow. How refreshing will that be!

What will YOU say yes and no to?  If this has struck a chord with you, take action now and answer these questions one at a time, making notes as a reminder:

  • What do you currently spend your time on that you’d like to be able to say no to?
  • By saying no to those things, what will that free up your time for?
  • If you were to put yourself first, what commitments, situations and people would you say no to?
  • What will you say yes to instead?

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

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Confidence sapping friends and colleagues

The people with whom you have the most contact and hang around will have either a positive or negative effect on your levels of self-esteem and confidence.  We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around.

How do they make you feel?  Yes, they make you feel the same!  They can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with positive, can do vibes that has a knock on effect onto everyone else.

sunset beach people sunrise

Photo by Jill Wellington on Pexels.com

We also know of those people who could moan for England! They never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – need I go on?

These people drain your energy and bring you down to their level, a million miles away from the level that YOU want to be operating on. Family members can be a lot like this as well, but you can always choose your friends, you can never choose your relatives!

So what should you do to make sure that the people who you hang around with empower and support what you stand for, rather than bring you down all of the time?

  1. You have the power to choose who you hang around with. Ideally you want happy, vibrant and positive people.
  2.  If you have good friends who are negative and yet you still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how you feel – if they are a true friend they will respect you for this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.
  3. The same can be said with family. Your more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years and years and from different eras. Appreciate where they have come from and as previously mentioned above, elicit and select the information that filters through to your brain.
  4. Remember, that nothing has meaning in life except the meaning that you give it.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk