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I am bored, what can I do?

Boredom for me was when I knew that I had to get up and out of my bed to go to the office to do a job that I really didn’t want to do, I could do it in my sleep, and I was not appreciated for doing it.  Not only that, I had to commute 2 hours each way.  I was bored with waiting at bus stops in the rain, with getting on trains with standing room only, with walking through the streets of London in the cold and wet.   I found it very difficult to motivate myself to go to work, and when I got there I would go through the motions, do a great job of course, and then be pleased to go home. I would watch the clock all day long and be constantly thinking about when my next day off was or when I could go on holiday.

Stressed Businesswoman

I decided, after some thought, that I would rather work for myself, and I looked around for what I could do. My attention was drawn to helping people to get out of ruts, to change their lives and I investigated several  possibilities and decided on life coaching.

I began with an online course through a college, taking two courses to gain a diploma in life coaching. I discovered that I loved coaching and that I was very good at it too. I went on to study with a large coaching organisation, followed by a smaller coaching organisation, qualified as an NLP practitioner and most recently an online coaching school based in U.S.A. as an emotion based coach.

These are my qualifications that I have achieved:

  • Distance Tutoring
  • Life Coach
  • Corporate & Executive Coach
  • Advanced Confidence Coach/Group Trainer
  • Licensed YOU University Coach 
  • Licensed NLP Practitioner
  • Sports Psychology
  • Disability Awareness
  • PTLLS (Professional Teaching Award B Tech level 4)
  • TEFL/TESOL (120 hours) (Teaching English as a Foreign Language)
  • Thought Field Therapy Practitioner
  • Indian Head Massage Practitioner

graduated

My decision to retrain and work for myself has paid off tremendously for me. I have never looked back.  And there are some great benefits for me too:

  • My boss rocks and lets me do whatever I want!
  • My commute is less than 30 seconds, unless I stop by the kitchen for a coffee.
  • I have the ability to transform millions of people’s lives and still be in my pyjamas.

So with coffee and this ability I have become unstoppable.  And you can too.

Is there something or someone in your life that you can identify as creating the boredom in your life? If so what is it?

 If you are bored what are you going to do about it?

 Now you can ask yourself that question again – I’m bored what can I do?

  • Listen to the voices in your head, write down the answers you hear on a piece of paper as they pop into your head.
  • Study those answers.
  • Research some of the answers and see if they really resonate with you.

If you start to spend your life doing what excites you, you will find a solution to your boredom, I can assure you.

And if you need help finding that solution, contact me and we can work together to find your solution.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Let go of regret

Holding on to regret is like dragging the weight of the past with us everywhere we go.  It drains our energy, leaving us less available for life in the present because we are constantly feeding our old issues.  

Doing this can cause illness the same way watering a dead plant creates decay.  We know that something new and beautiful can grow in its place, if we only prepare the soil and plant the right seeds.

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We also know that we create our lives from our thoughts, so dwelling on the past may actually recreate a situation in our lives where we are forced to make the same choices again and again. We can choose to move on right now by applying what we have learned to the present.

Forgiveness is the soothing balm that can heal regret. If we can forgive ourselves and any other people involved, we will find that a great weight is lifted and we begin to feel better in ourselves.

One of the ways I have of doing this is by replaying the event in my mind, a bit like watching a film. I choose a new ending using all the new information and learning that I now have. I imagine that I have actually gone back into the past and made this change, and then I say goodbye to it. I release my former self and anyone else involved with a hug and bring the forgiveness and love back with me to the present.

Since we are usually our harshest critics, it is amazing how powerfully healing it can be to offer ourselves love.

Four Women Friends at the Beach
Keeping our minds and our energy fully in the present allows us to fuel our physical and emotional healing and well-being today. This action frees our energy to create the dreams we dream for the future. By taking responsibility and action in the present, we can release our hold on the past and let that weight go.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Who is the real me?

What does finding the real me really mean? Well to me it means I have uncovered the real sense of my self. I am able to make my own decisions without being manipulated by other people. I am an individual person in my own right and not a clone of someone else. I have re-established a connection my inner self.

For years I was conditioned to not feel, to not show emotion, to not question, to do as I was told. Therefore I hid my feelings and emotions very well.

headache

I have survived a toxic relationship where I was emotionally and psychologically abused.  I wasn’t allowed to be me, I had to be who my husband thought I ought to be.  I had to subservient, obedient, not talk to other people, be his possession.  Fortunately I gained the courage to divorce him after 12 years.

I have learned through working on myself that is totally not me. I have burrowed deep down inside me and brought out those suppressed feelings that were stuffed down for so long. I do have feelings, they can be hurt and then they hurt I am now able to acknowledge the hurt, feel the hurt and work through the hurt to get to a place where I have dealt with the hurt.

This works for a whole range of feelings, joy, happiness, surprise, sadness etc. I have learned to acknowledge and recognise those feelings, to embrace them and work with them.

I have learned that I do have emotions and it is okay to express these emotions. There is absolutely nothing wrong with me when I express my emotions. I am allowed to cry, I am allowed to let people see my cry. I am allowed to laugh, cry, scream, shout, whatever my emotions dictate. That is me, the real me.

happyladywithbook

My conditioning is being slowly changed and I am constantly learning. I am no longer disconnected from the sense of myself, I can make my own decisions and not feel guilty about doing so, I am an individual and proud of it.

I have discovered that I am not average in any way whatsoever. I am a successful businesswoman who has set up and is running two successful businesses. I am an exceptionally intuitive and good coach. I am a successful author of two books which are selling worldwide and changing lives.

I have discovered that I do have a voice and that it is heard. I am seen and heard, I am learning to express my feelings and emotions and I am continuing to learn.

I have a place in this world, and that place is to help people to change their lives, to be able to be confident and able to live their authentic lives and to learn to love themselves and others.

I am on a continuing journey and learning more and more about the authentic me as I go. There are a lot more layers to unveil I am sure.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Mixed emotions – why this is good for me! And for you.

I have some mixed emotions today. I am feeling better in myself intermittently, this flu bug is very annoying and keeps making me feel tired and irritable. Sometimes I think it is lifting, and then it drags me down again. I know it is only temporary, I am fighting it and it won’t beat me.

I am feeling frustrated with the leaseholders of my flat. They are driving me mad! I live in a lovely flat that I own, it is upstairs on the first floor (second floor if you are in USA) and I have beautiful views of the Solent, the mainland, green fields, trees and the ever changing occupants of the fields –  cows, sheep,  pheasants wander through, a horse grazes, wild birds land and take off.

Now I understand fire regulations and the need for them, what I don’t understand is the constant hassle I receive from the leaseholders. I recently replaced my armchairs and offered the old ones to the lovely lady who does my cleaning, Shirley. She was delighted as her daughter is moving into a flat and needs furniture and she said she would collect them as soon as she could arrange it. So I put them out on the communal landing overnight, until she could come and get them. Would you believe that the fire inspection officer came round yesterday and has given me an enforcement notice saying that if I don’t remove everything from the landing within 24 hours they will be taken away.

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Fortunately Shirley came and collected the chairs last night so this is not a problem now. But it seems that I am not being allowed to live my life any more. I have had to clear out the loft because it is claimed that storing anything in the loft is a fire hazard. When you consider that I have downsized twice from a 4 bedroom house, to a 3 bedroom house to a 2 bedroom flat, there is a whole lot of stuff that has been stored in the loft. I have given some away, I have sold some things, and there is still a load of stuff in my living room that I am constantly tripping over. Apparently the loft space is not for storage and the leaseholders own that space.

The leaseholders have already taken off my front door and replaced it with a solid wood fire door with a tiny window that does not let in enough light.  I was threatened with court if I did not comply.  My lovely double glazed front door is now on the communal landing and is the subject of a legal dispute.  That is not going anywhere and if it attempted to be removed by the fire inspection officer I will be instructing my solicitor that I am being harassed by the leaseholders. My lovely front door has been perfectly fine for 10 years, so why can’t I put it back?

I have had enough! I want to move and I want to move now!  I am looking for opportunities and for ways of moving.

trolley

So my emotions are up and down – I am so pleased to have emotions that I can relate to, this is such a huge step forward for me. Onward and upward.

I know there are people out there who can relate to all or part of this and if you would like to get in touch, please do.  I have been through this before during divorce and know how frustrating it can be when all the frustration of divorce, house moving, upheaval and starting afresh takes its toll on the emotions.  I know I can help you to get through divorce and come out the other side in control of your life.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Noticing my feelings and emotions

I have been noticing my reactions both physically and mentally to a situation.

I was at a weekly networking breakfast and was collared by one of the members. Her husband has applied to join the group and the rules state that only one type of each profession is permitted, and no direct competition – although there are a few businesses that cross over but offer slightly different services. Her husband is a trainer and covers a lot of what I do, so I objected on those grounds. I don’t even know the man, so I have nothing against him personally.

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Well she had printed out copies of her husband’s website and copies of mine and circled bits and pieces and told me, in no uncertain terms, that I had made a mistake and that I should go away and read these pages and come to a different decision. Not the greatest thing to be greeted with as soon as I arrived at the meeting at 06.50! I told her I would read them.

Having been working very hard on myself I have learned much more about myself and how to notice, acknowledge and deal with my feelings and emotions. So I took real notice of what my body was telling me and what my head was telling me. I noticed that I had a knot in my stomach, I felt physically sick. I was angry that I had been accosted in this fashion and with her bully boy tactics. I sat and analysed how I was feeling and what I was feeling and I was feeling anger, frustration, annoyance and I was feeling upset.

I did read the pages that had been printed out. I did not however change my mind. I wrote to the chairman of the group as follows:

‘I was very disappointed with the behaviour of this person this morning and found her attitude and bully boy tactics to be totally uncalled for. Having said that I have read through the printouts of the website that were thrust into my hand and I am still of the same opinion.

There are many things that the applicant does that I do. For instance Motivation, Dealing with Personal Stress, Mentoring, Train the Trainer, People Management, Leadership, Facilitation, Customer Care. So I am still not happy with this businesses joining our group as it will be in direct competition with me.’

Having written this email I noticed how I was feeling again. I sat and took real notice. I felt calm and collected, no longer frustrated or annoyed and I wasn’t upset any longer. It feels right to me, and I know that I am right. I object to being treated in this manner, but I am sending thoughts of love to her and shall treat her in the same way as always.

New for 2013. From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again

I know that I have made a huge leap here in my personal growth in noticing my feelings and emotions and acting and not reacting to them.

I only wish I had known how to do this when I was going through divorce and the aftermath of divorce.  It would have been so much easier for me.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Unblocking my emotions

I am working with my fabulous coach Heather Williams  and I have discovered I have a block. I can’t express my emotions or feel my feelings in a way that I feel is right for me. Having been brought up from a very early age to not show anger and not allowed to show emotions it has become a habit which it is now time to break. I am working on unblocking my emotions and feeling my feelings.

Heather has given me an exercise to do to work on one emotion at a time and I began with fear.

here is the exercise that Heather gave me:

Draw a doorway with the door ajar. Behind the door is your emotions. Imagine standing with your hand on the doorknob about to push or pull it right open.
What emotion would come flying out first? Write down 1 emotion you want to work on.
Imagine what you feel. Go back to a time when you felt that emotion. How it affects the body and mind, heart – feel it physically. Try and get in touch with the emotions and feelings. Write about what happens.

here is what I wrote about this experience.

The first emotion would be fear – fear of what is behind the door.

How does fear feel to me?

I remember being about 8 years old. I had been to a party for a school friend’s birthday. I had been taken to the party by my mum in the daylight. I know it wasn’t far from home, about 15 minutes by foot. The party was over and one of the parents collecting their child had a car and they said they would take me home. It was dark by now. I had never been allowed out of my street on my own, and I had no sense of direction. The person driving the car looked at me and asked me where I lived and I told her the address. She started the car and we drove around for a little while, about 5 minutes I suppose, she then asked me where the road was that I lived in, were we near it? I had no idea whatsoever as it was dark, I was small and could barely see out of the window of the car. She said I must know where I lived and where my road was. I was petrified that I would never get home and that she would think that I was stupid. I wasn’t stupid, it was just that I had no idea where home was and how to get to it. I remember starting to shake and shiver, and tears came into my eyes. I probably looked like a scared rabbit. Her child was in the car too and she was laughing at how I couldn’t find my own house. They didn’t realise that I had not be allowed out by myself anywhere and had no notion of how to get home.
I remember being frightened and embarrassed at the same time. We eventually got home and my mum said thank you to whoever it was driving and they explained that I didn’t know the way and then everyone was told that I had no sense of direction and therefore I couldn’t be let out on my own. So apparently it was my fault or so I thought at the time.

So fear to me sweaty palms, more rapid breathing, sometimes shaking and frequently the feeling that I need to wee, even though I know I don’t. I begin to feel unsure of myself and that just increases the fear and those symptoms just increase.

After doing this and sending it by email to Heather we had a chat about it via Skype – I am in UK and Heather is in Australia. So it was 7am BST and 4pm in Australia. Heather commented that she was pleased that I had written about the effects of the fear and that she felt I had connected.

This is a huge breakthrough for me. Thank you Heather. I am feeling my feelings and unblocking and expressing my emotions and loving it all.

How does fear feel to you? I know there are many other occasions when I felt fear, when I was being emotionally and psychologically abused by my first husband, going through divorce, the aftermath of divorce.

Does any of this resonate with you? Want to coach with me? Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie
Creedence – The real women’s divorce coach

Website: http://www.creedencetraining.co.uk

Email: info@creedencetraining.co.uk

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Twitter: https://twitter.com/MaggieCurrie

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My feelings of inadequacy today

I have some feelings of inadequacy and of not being good enough. I am not sure where they are coming from but I woke up feeling that way. I do remember feeling this way when I was going through divorce and in the aftermath of that process. I didn’t like it then, and I don’t like it now.

Today I went to a breakfast business networking meeting, one I go to every Thursday morning at 7am, which means getting up at 5am to be showered and dressed for business by 6.15am at the latest. Then a 10 mile drive.

Usually these meetings are full of energy and fun and are a pleasure to be at, but today was a little different. One of our members has split with her significant other and moved off the Island and is living with her parents on the mainland. This person will be sadly missed as she is vibrant, honest, straight talking and fun. So there was an air of sadness that she has suddenly gone.

There were also some people there who were revelling in this news and making stupid comments, which I tried to ignore, but they were so unnecessary and I thought it was shameful. I said nothing as I didn’t want to get into a stupid argument.

Business people communicating with each other against white

When the meeting finished I had a couple of tasks to complete.  They should have taken about twenty minutes but ended up taking nearly an hour due to ‘technical problems’.  The lady who served me is also one of those people I try to avoid as she drains all the energy from me and is very critical of every one and every thing.

So instead of getting back to the office by 9am to get stuck into my work, I didn’t get back until nearly 10.30 and then I was all behind and annoyed that things didn’t work out.

I sat and thought about what it was that was making me feel inadequate. Not the fact that I was late getting back to the office. Not the fact that we had lost a great member of our networking group. So what was it? And then it came to me.

Last night I was on a fabulous phone call with three of my coach colleagues. The creativity and ideas were flowing from two of them, and what brilliant ideas they were. I am in awe of their power to think these things through so easily and clearly. I know that marketing has to be done, and I know I have to do it, but that is not my expertise.

So, I believe that I am feeling inadequate because I had absolutely nothing to add to these two brilliant coaches’ thoughts and ideas. They had done their homework fantastically and presented their ideas and innovations in clear and concise ways, and they were great ideas and I know they will work.

I feel that my strengths lie elsewhere, but at this particular moment I am not sure where.

I hate feeling this way and it makes me really upset to think this way. I know that I am a brilliant coach and that I do make a huge difference to people’s lives and that I will continue to do so.

Having written all this I am now feeling much better and know that I have a lot to offer but not necessarily in the same way as other people.  I also know that I should not compare myself to other people, that is definitely a confidence killer.

happyladywithbook

So, to re-boot my confidence I have written a list of my creativity and innovativity (is that a word?) and here is the list I have come up with:
My creativity 

Brilliant cook
Expert typist
Can set out a document by eye, and it will look great on the page.
Brilliant writer
Fabulously intuitive
Do my accounts satisfactorily
Create a good workspace
Create opportunities for clients
Great supporter
Impactful
Great teacher
Create goals for my clients and for myself

My Innovativity

Build relationships online and in person
Think up new ways for my clients to succeed
Find new ways for me to succeed
Lead by example
Positive and encouraging to all
Hear beyond the words

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Redirecting your emotions

Intense emotions demand intense methods of expression.  There are many outlets for positive feelings – being creative, enjoying the fresh air, talking with friends, having fun – there are however far fewer methods for coping constructively with negative feelings of anger, frustration, fear, sadness, or stress. Consequently, such feelings can lead us to believe that we are not in control of our emotional state.

When we are backed into a mental corner, we may well lash out at the very first person we encounter.  Most of us will discover very quickly that our misdirected outpouring of fury has done nothing to relieve the pressure of our pain, in fact it has probably exacerbated it.

How do I know I am in a relationship that is bad for me?

Powerful emotions can be likened to the lava in a volcano, just waiting to erupt, temporarily held in check by an ever eroding layer of calm. Within us lies the power to direct that flood of feeling that surges forth by channelling it into productive, artistic or physically tiring activities.

Retaking control of our emotions at their height can often be very difficult.  This is because our already negative feelings can convince us, however wrongly, that others are deserving of our wrath.  But, when we consciously look for alternative ways of expressing what we feel, we will relieve our pain and use the energy of that pain to add even more value to our lives.

Anger or sadness is the inspiration that inspires us to dedicate ourselves to bringing about a change we wish to see in the world.  If we act rather than react, we will become very effective agents of positive transformation. When we channel our frustration or feelings of stress into “outside-the-box thinking” and various proactive exploits, we will discover solutions to the issues that initially left us stuck in this negative state.

And when we view fear as a sign that we need to re-examine our circumstances rather than a sign to flee, we will gain new, and possibly unexpected, insight into our lives.

Channelling your emotions into constructive action will also prevent you from reliving situations, events or even expectations that sparked your feelings in your mind’s eye.  Since you are now focusing on a goal, your pain is no longer being fed by your emotional energy and will ebb away rapidly.  You will not only avoid lashing out at others, but you will also take an active  part in your own healing process while still honestly acknowledging and honouring your feelings.

journal

Journalling helps with getting your emotions under control and will help you get your thoughts in order.  Just the act of writing down your thoughts will help you to realise where your thoughts are directed and where you may need to change some of the thoughts that are no longer serving you.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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