I have been noticing my reactions both physically and mentally to a situation.
I was at a weekly networking breakfast and was collared by one of the members. Her husband has applied to join the group and the rules state that only one type of each profession is permitted, and no direct competition – although there are a few businesses that cross over but offer slightly different services. Her husband is a trainer and covers a lot of what I do, so I objected on those grounds. I don’t even know the man, so I have nothing against him personally.
Well she had printed out copies of her husband’s website and copies of mine and circled bits and pieces and told me, in no uncertain terms, that I had made a mistake and that I should go away and read these pages and come to a different decision. Not the greatest thing to be greeted with as soon as I arrived at the meeting at 06.50! I told her I would read them.
Having been working very hard on myself I have learned much more about myself and how to notice, acknowledge and deal with my feelings and emotions. So I took real notice of what my body was telling me and what my head was telling me. I noticed that I had a knot in my stomach, I felt physically sick. I was angry that I had been accosted in this fashion and with her bully boy tactics. I sat and analysed how I was feeling and what I was feeling and I was feeling anger, frustration, annoyance and I was feeling upset.
I did read the pages that had been printed out. I did not however change my mind. I wrote to the chairman of the group as follows:
‘I was very disappointed with the behaviour of this person this morning and found her attitude and bully boy tactics to be totally uncalled for. Having said that I have read through the printouts of the website that were thrust into my hand and I am still of the same opinion.
There are many things that the applicant does that I do. For instance Motivation, Dealing with Personal Stress, Mentoring, Train the Trainer, People Management, Leadership, Facilitation, Customer Care. So I am still not happy with this businesses joining our group as it will be in direct competition with me.’
Having written this email I noticed how I was feeling again. I sat and took real notice. I felt calm and collected, no longer frustrated or annoyed and I wasn’t upset any longer. It feels right to me, and I know that I am right. I object to being treated in this manner, but I am sending thoughts of love to her and shall treat her in the same way as always.
I know that I have made a huge leap here in my personal growth in noticing my feelings and emotions and acting and not reacting to them.
I only wish I had known how to do this when I was going through divorce and the aftermath of divorce. It would have been so much easier for me.
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Creedence – Confidence for You
International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author