S.E.L.F – L – Life

What does life mean to you?

The dictionary definition is “The existence of an individual human being or animal”.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to just exist, I want to live my life with vigour and energy, to enjoy being in existence and to live my life to the full.

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How can we all do that?  We can do that by choosing our thoughts, as they affect how we feel and in fact affect our whole body. How, you may well ask?

Well, the smallest unit of life is called an organism.  Organisms are composed of cells.  And our bodies are made up of millions of cells, each and every one of them attuned to what we are thinking, feeling, saying, hearing etc.

In fact, when we are thinking that we are feeling weak, all our cells in our bodies respond by being weak.  However, when we are thinking that we are feeling strong, all our cells in our bodies respond by being strong. Likewise, when we are feeling tired, full of energy, miserable, happy or any other feelings you can imagine, our cells are responding in the same way.

So the state of our lives is dependent upon making sure that every one of our cells in our bodies is working to our benefit and that is where feeling positive, confident and happy with our lives makes such a difference to our whole being, from the inside out. Be aware of what you are thinking and feeling, it makes a huge difference.

 In September I am presenting a FREE workshop and life is one of the topics included.  Click here to book your ticket today and learn more about the secret of SELF.

 

Maggie Currie

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What makes you laugh?

I was sitting and wondering what to write, and then it came to me – what makes me laugh?

The things children say that are so honest and innocent – for instance my granddaughter, who is 11 years old now, was asked when she was about 18 months old to go and do something with her mother. Her reply was ‘I haven’t finished yet’. When asked by her mother what she was doing that she hadn’t finished yet, my granddaughter replied ‘Looking out of the window’. Now that made me laugh, because it was so cute, so innocent and so honest.

My husband makes me laugh on occasion. Sometimes it is something he says, sometimes it something he does, it could just be the expression on his face.

Dogs make me laugh by the way they run around in circles trying to catch their tails, or chase leaves or each other.

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Monkeys with their antics, squirrels playing with their acorns, horses trotting around their fields.

My face in the mirror first thing in the morning is just hilarious.

I love to watch people and often the way they behave makes me laugh. It could be that they are tipsy and giggly, or they have a specific way of packing their shopping into their bags, they have to put things in a particular place.

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Laughing doesn’t mean I am ridiculing, it means that I am enjoying what I am seeing and feeling. I love people and animals. I find them fascinating and intriguing.

So lots of things make me laugh, sometimes inwardly and sometimes with a full on belly laugh. The latter is extremely good as I can feel my mood shifting too. Having a good laugh is rejuvenating.

Have you noticed, going through life traumas, illness, divorce and beyond, that you don’t laugh as much? What could you do to change that?

 Contact me today to have a free chat on how my coaching will help you to change your mindset.

Maggie Currie

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Bouncing back

Life happens. It doesn’t matter how positive, balanced and centred you are, there are going to be times when you are knocked sideways. Times when your carefully organised life is turned upside down and you get knocked for six. Life happens!

You may be challenged with any number of situations that will leave you feeling like you were kicked in the stomach. It may be the loss of a loved one, a divorce, the loss of a job, bullying or the plain stupidity of some people who affect your life.

Let’s face it. Things happen. They’re part of life and although I know that “everything happens for a reason,” things still hurt. And they hurt a lot! They hurt at the very core of your being. The pain begins in your heart and radiates throughout your entire being.

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At times like these, you may feel down, possibly depressed. You may feel anger or some other manifestation of your pain. You may feel out of control and that life will never get better. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s ok. It’s ok to feel hurt, sad, angry, used, miserable or whatever your true feelings are. You cannot deny pain any more than you can deny fear. The only way through this is to give yourself permission to feel the feeling.

The question is not whether or not you will feel down. The question is for how long will you stay in this state?

The difference between people who get through life’s challenging moments, regardless of the seriousness, and those who are immobilised by the events is their ability to bounce back. That isn’t to say they care any less, they give themselves permission to move on.

How quickly can you bounce back?  Of course, the severity of the event will have a lot to do with the time it will take you to get past the pain and on with your life.

Take the example of two people being downsized from their job, something that is becoming a common occurrence these days. One is floored by the news of her dismissal. She expresses her pain by becoming angry at her employers, her colleagues and the system in general. She spends her days telling anyone who’ll listen, about her “problem” and how hard done by she is.  And usually from a bar stool!

As she sees it, her life is ruined and she’s blaming everyone for her troubles. People who react like this spend weeks, even months, wallowing in despair until, if they’re fortunate, someone close to them convinces them to seek professional help.

On the other hand, the other person reacts very differently. Although they have gone through the same experience and have pretty much the same issues like living expenses, etc., they choose to react differently.

After a brief period of feeling a loss of self-esteem, self-pity and anger (quite naturally), they decide to get back in the game. They begin contacting their network of colleagues and friends, avail themselves of courses and other services their former employer offered everyone and starts actively looking for a new position. In a short time they find their “dream job” with an exciting new company.

While both people in our hypothetical example had the same experience and both went through a period of hurting, the time each allowed themselves to remain in that dis-empowering state was vastly different. While one remained “stuck” in their problem, the other handled their loss and moved on with their life.

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This is the key. It’s not whether life occasionally puts you into a tailspin, it’s how long you choose to remain there.

When something devastating happens to you, allow yourself some time to grieve your loss, that is essential.  However, don’t allow yourself to get stuck there. Take some action. Join a support group, talk about your feelings with a trusted friend or a professional.

In the case of a job loss, perhaps you might want to take some time to re-evaluate your career goals. You may even consider a change in career altogether. When you’re ready, you can begin networking and making new contacts.  Attend social or networking events. Call people you know. Do something!

One of the most important things to remember in high stress situations is not to allow yourself to become isolated. While spending some time alone is normal, even necessary, isolation can be dangerous and should be avoided at all costs. Get out and be with people as soon as possible.

Remember “life is for the living.” It’s important to get back to your life. In time, the pain will pass.

Contact me to have a free chat on how my coaching will help you get back on track.

Maggie Currie

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How do I know I have low self-esteem? And how can I change that?

Low self-esteem manifests itself in a variety of ways, and I should know I have been there.  For me the following was very true:

  • I didn’t think I was good enough.
  • I thought everyone else thought they were good enough.
  • I didn’t look after myself, I put others first.
  • I let people manipulate me.
  • I was in a bad relationship.
  • I felt sad and thought there must be more to life than this.
  • I constantly asked other people for their opinion, I didn’t think I knew anything.
  • I was verbally and emotionally abused and never felt I was worthy.

I started out with the intention of being happy when I got married at age 19, but soon discovered that the marriage was not working as I was constantly treated like an idiot, not allowed to develop as me, told I was worthless and became a possession.  This situation went on for 12 years and my self-esteem nose-dived.

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 When I eventually woke up to the fact that I was allowing this to happen, I decided to get out of the relationship.

Getting out of that relationship led me to become a single parent, living in a small flat with three small children, no money, no job, no prospects and I felt there was no hope.  My self-esteem went down even further.

Does anything resonate with you yet? Can you see the likenesses in your life at the moment? Don’t despair, there is hope.

It took me a while, some years, but I found the answers to rebuilding my self-esteem and my life to such an extent that I now run two successful businesses that I set up and I am a published author. I married again and have been very happily married for 30 years to a wonderful man who loves me as me.  I have retrained as a life coach and work with people who have no self-esteem and help them to re-build it and I love every minute of it.

I know how it feels, I know it hurts and that’s why I can help so many people.  I am still learning, life is a school and I attend every day.

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 So what can you do right now to begin to change your situation and start to re-build your self-esteem?

  • Stop thinking that you are not good enough.  You most definitely are.
  • Begin to look after yourself, put yourself first. It is not selfish – it is essential.
  • Before you think that you don’t have the answer stop, really think about the question, the answer is there, you just have to find it deep down inside yourself.
  • There is more to life than you have now, it is out there waiting for you. What is it that you want? Picture it in your head, write it down, look for it and you will attract it to you.
  • Listen to your intuition. Really listen. It is telling you what is right for you.

By changing your attitude towards yourself you will notice that other people will change their attitudes towards you.  It won’t happen overnight, it will take time, but it will happen.

Begin today to change your life. You deserve to be happy and to be yourself. You deserve to have high self-esteem.

Don’t be afraid to ask me for help in facing your fears and peeling back the layers. Trust me to help you find the real you. I’m not the same as every other Life Coach out there. I work from my heart, incorporate emotion based coaching and inspiration from my own life experiences. You can trust me to inspire you, encourage you, support you, nurture you along your path of transformation. Do it for you, do it today. Get in touch today to take your first steps towards a more confident and intuitive you.

Contact me to have a free chat on how my coaching can help you find solutions to your problems.

Maggie Currie 

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Noticing your feelings and defining the reaction taking place within you.

It is common knowledge that feelings can often bring about a very challenging aspect to our lives. We can experience very intense emotions without understanding precisely why. Consequently we can find it difficult to identify those solutions to relieving our distress, calming our minds and understanding why we are experiencing these emotions.

When we have mastered the ability of naming our feelings we can then tame them by finding an appropriate resolution. We are able to retake control of our personal power by becoming courageous enough to recognise and articulate, out loud and concisely, the essence of our emotions.

Once we assume ownership of these challenges we are empowered to shift from one emotional state to another — and with the added bonus of letting go of pain and upset because we have made it our own by defining it, examining the effect it had on our lives, and exerted our authority over it by making it our own. Additionally, by naming our feelings, we claim the right to divest ourselves of them whenever we choose.

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When you are preparing to acknowledge your feelings aloud, take care to remind  yourself gently that being specific is an important part of exercising control. It doesn’t matter what the nature of your feelings is, define very carefully the reaction taking place within you.

For instance, if you have a fear of a particular situation or are intimidated by an individual, endeavour not to mince your words while giving voice to your anxiety. The precision with which you choose to express yourself is indicative of your overall willingness to stare your feelings in the face without flinching. Naming and claiming may not always work if you keep this information to yourself. There will be occasions where you will find the release you desire achieve will only be found by admitting your feelings to other people. When this is the case, your ability to outline your feelings explicitly will help you to ask for the support or guidance you need without you becoming bogged down in the feelings that led you to make this admission in the first place.

So how do you identify that you have a particular feeling or emotion, and how do you define the reaction taking place within you?  Sit down quietly, close your eyes and ‘listen’ to your body.  What is it telling you?

For instance, do you feel a strange sensation in your stomach, or is there an uncomfortable sensation in your back, neck, arm or somewhere else?  Focus on what you notice, really focus and allow it.  Keep focusing on it and you will notice that once you have allowed it, the strange or uncomfortable sensation will gradually diminish and then disappear.  But not before you have associated it with the feeling or emotion that had caused it.

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When you have moved past that slight apprehension associated with expressing the feelings that are causing you distress out loud, you will be surprised to discover that you feel both liberated and lightened. This is because you have made a clear connection between your feelings and what is causing them allowing you to unravel the mystery that previously kept you from being in complete control of your emotional state.

The process of giving voice to your feelings allows you to let them go. Once you have let them go, you will naturally relax and rediscover your emotional equilibrium.

Contact me to have a free chat on how my coaching can help you understand and embrace your emotions.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

Coaching you to become the very best version of you so you can have more fun, live a better life and enjoy your work.

 

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Do you have feelings of inadequacy? I know I do.

Sometimes I have feelings of inadequacy and of not being good enough. I am not sure where they come from, but I sometimes wake up feeling that way.

I remember one occasion, I went to a breakfast business networking meeting, one I go to every Thursday morning at 7am, which means getting up at 5am to be showered and dressed ready to set off for business by 6.15am at the latest. Then a 10 mile drive.

Usually these meetings are full of energy and fun and are a pleasure to be at, but on this day it was a little different. One of our members had split with her significant other and moved off the Island and is now living with her parents on the mainland. This person will be sadly missed as she is vibrant, honest, straight talking and fun. So there was an air of sadness that she had suddenly gone. There were also some people there who were revelling in this news and making stupid comments, which I tried to ignore, as they were so unnecessary, and I thought it was shameful. I said nothing as I didn’t want to get into a stupid argument.

When the meeting finished I took some items to the DHL drop point to send around the world, as I do several times a week with my secretarial business. This should have taken about twenty minutes but ended up taking nearly an hour because the computer system wouldn’t let them put in the address and postcode I had for one item going to China, and a call to the helpdesk was needed, and this took forever. The lady who served me is also one of those people I try to avoid as she drains all the energy from me and is very critical of everyone and every thing. So instead of getting back to my office by 9am to get stuck into my work, I didn’t get back until nearly 10.30 and then I was all behind and annoyed that things didn’t work out.

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I sat and thought about what it was that was making me feel inadequate. Not the fact that I was late getting back to the office. Not the fact that we had lost a great member of our networking group. So what was it? And then it came to me. The night before I had been talking on a fabulous phone call with two other coaches. The creativity and ideas were flowing from them, and what brilliant ideas they were. I am in awe of their power to think these things through so easily and clearly. So, I believe that I was feeling inadequate because I had absolutely nothing to add to these two brilliant coaches’ thoughts and ideas. They had done their homework fantastically and presented their ideas and innovations in clear and concise ways, and they were great ideas and I know they will work.

I feel that my strengths lie elsewhere, but at that particular moment I wasn’t sure where. I hate feeling this way and it makes me really upset to think this way. I know that I am a brilliant coach and that I do make a huge difference to people’s lives and that I will continue to do so. Having written all this I felt much better and know that I have a lot to offer but not necessarily in the same way as other people. I also know that I should not compare myself to other people, that is definitely a confidence killer.

Your life does not resemble anybody else's

So, to re-boot my confidence I have written a list of my creativity and innovativity (is that a word?) and here is the list I have come up with:

My creativity

  • Superb coach
  • Brilliant cook
  • Expert typist – Can set out a document by eye, and it will look great on the page.
  • Brilliant writer and author
  • Fabulously intuitive
  • Do my accounts satisfactorily
  • Create a good workspace
  • Create opportunities for clients
  • Create opportunities to get clients
  • Great supporter
  • Impactful
  • Great teacher
  • Create achievable goals for my clients and for myself

My Innovativity

  • Build relationships online and in person
  • Think up new ways for my clients to succeed
  • Find new ways for me to succeed
  • Lead by example
  • Positive and encouraging to all
  • Hear beyond the words

If this hits home to you then please feel free to contact me. You are not alone. I would love to talk with you and help you to learn how to be more confident in yourself. As we all know, life is a school and we are constantly learning. I really do look forward to hearing from you with your lists of creativity and innovativity.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves so that they can have more fun, live a better life and enjoy their work. Get in touch today for a free informal chat on how I can help you.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

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Do you want to slow down and enjoy your life? I will help you.

Since 2003 I have been  working on me, with me and not fighting against my life, I have learned so much about myself and grown a tremendous amount as a person and as a coach.  My clients have transformed their lives and become so much more than they were.  They have grown, changed, laughed, cried, loved, but most of all moved forward and are living their lives authentically and with more enjoyment and are putting themselves first. I have loved working with them all and watching them change so dramatically for the better.

Here are a couple of testimonials from my wonderful clients:

“Before I went to Maggie for help I could not handle confrontation and would feel in the wrong, even though I was right. I was sceptical about how it would work, but was surprised how calm I felt and ready to take anything on after my sessions. I still cannot believe how quickly it happened for me. Maggie exceeded my expectations, it was beyond my dreams and worked so quickly.” JH, IoW

“Maggie is such a wonderful person and a great coach! I have had the distinct pleasure of getting to know her. Maggie is honest, very compassionate and truly enjoys helping others to live the life they deserve! I know firsthand that she knows her stuff and has been a tremendous help to me in my journey! If your looking for life changing results, you’ve come to the right Woman!” TH, Michigan USA

“Maggie helped me to recognise that I was stagnating, and I chose not to do that any longer. I have changed my life dramatically in just one year, and now I am really enjoying my life and my new relationship.” LR, Gloucester.

Now that it is a brand New Year, 2014, I want you to work with me too, and I want to help you to transform your life. I am passionate about helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

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When you work with me you will learn how to:

Communicate with yourself honestly and on a deeper level.  Accept and let go of the past.  Trust in yourself and in the universe.  Be honest with yourself.  Slow down.  Breathe.  Be kinder to yourself.  Find your truth and follow it.  To be grateful for what you have now.  To love yourself and others more. To be less critical of yourself.  Enjoy living in the now.  To listen more to yourself and others.  Talk less.  Recognise and accept your emotions.

I know that:

  • Your life is meant to be enjoyed. When you learn to let go of who and what that makes you unhappy you create a space where the Universe can begin to respond to your desires for happiness and contentment.
  • Silence, space and time on your own (to be able to hear your inner voice/truth) are necessary to cultivate deep inner peace
  •  Notice when you are stuck or depressed.  If you have been feeling stuck for a while take a baby step to get help, this will begin to move you through your current emotional state.
  • Spend time in nature regularly to reconnect with your source energy.
  • Make intentions and set your goals from your heart. Choose 5 feelings you would like to feel each day and apply them to each area of your life. This can bring instant joy and fulfilment.
  • Goal setting and aspiring to what you think your partner, your peers, your family, your friends expect you to be will only creates pressure and stress for you.
  • Listen to your body. Your illness, aches, pains, medicine cabinet and addictions may be blocking the signs your body is sending you. 
  • You are more beautiful than you believe you are. Learn to love all of you.
  •  Be quiet, don’t fill in the gaps. Listen more, talk less. Let go of control. It’s all going to be ok.
  •  Breathe deeply ~ Take three deep breaths every hour. Breathing deeply calms you down, it brings you into the present, it removes you from the future and past thinking …
  • Journalling regularly is a wonderful way to connect with your inner self. Write down three good things that have happened each day.
  •  You are more beautiful than you believe you are. Learn to love all of you.

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  • Do work that inspires you ~ start slowly…
  • Take time to dress for you each day. It makes you feel great.
  • Creating your beautiful home, one which is gentle and relaxing will nourish and relax your spirit.
  • Let go and trust there is a greater plan for your life, even in the middle of absolute chaos you can find peace.
  • Say farewell to your ego, it works against you.  It is up to you to choose how you live your life.   Your life experiences so far, have led to you creating an identity which you can keep or choose to let go in any given moment.
  • Life isn’t meant to be so serious. Dance when you hear a beat, smile more, meander through a day, open up to everyone and everything around you, drop your guard….
  • Eat healthy food. Notice what makes you feel well and what makes you feel sluggish.
  • Let go thinking about the past. It’s over. Let go future thinking. It hasn’t happened yet.  Be in the moment, here & now!
  • Put your phone on silent. Call people back when you are ready to speak. 
  • Go to bed earlier ~ sleep/relax as much as your body needs.
  • Be more spontaneous ~ plan less, allow life to unfold.
  • Create a vision of your dreams, aspirations and goals – on a sheet of paper, on the computer, on pinterest.com. Update it weekly and watch your beautiful dream transform into your daily reality.

 

When you are ready to get some help in making changes in your life, contact me to arrange a FREE 20 min consultation at maggie@creedencetraining.co.uk. I work in person, on the phone and via Skype.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

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Reduce your stress

Having too much stress in your life, will make you anxious, irritable and unproductive.  Stress will affect your relationships, your performance at work, your long term physical and emotional health and your quality of your life in general.  But is there a way to reduce unwanted stress once and for all?

Why is it that all we seem to hear about these days is stress?  Why does it seem to pervade everything we do?  Well the simple answer is that as a result of ever-increasing expectations and competition more and more people are spending increasing amounts of time making very good use of their natural stress responses.

The instinctive responses, our body’s natural reactions to protect us from danger, release stress hormones directly into the bloodstream.  These hormones bring about  instant mental, emotional and physiological changes that provide extra awareness, endurance and strength.  So if we were in a dangerous situation, they would help us to survive.

And because stress hormones get us fired-up, rather like sprinters crouched and waiting for the starting-gun, and because most stressed people don’t get the release of the race itself or they don’t give their bodies and minds sufficient time and space to rest after each stress-filled moment, the stress hormones just keep on working long after the perceived successful situation has gone. And as a result, we permanently have to endure these feelings of immediate danger and physiological, mental and emotional readiness, never able to relax and never able to feel at ease. It makes us feel tired too, so much so that we want to sleep, but because we are stressed we can’t get to sleep and so we toss and turn and increase our stress levels.

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This obviously has a dramatic impact on the quality of our lives. Stress causes a wide range of emotional problems including issues with anger, anxiety, addiction, panic and obsessive thoughts.  It can also affect our physiology such that we suffer from insomnia and the inability of our immune system to work effectively.

Perhaps your stress is caused by crippling pressures at work, or through an unhappy home life.  Stress can also be caused by health worries – real or perceived, by financial worries, through the raft of worries associated with mid life crisis, through being too alone or not alone enough.  As life gets busier stress is on the increase and more of us are looking for ways to manage stress.

A story, entitled “Stress and Memory,” summarises the results of a study published in the ‘Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences Online’ that shows how stress chemically alters the brain’ s capacity to retain information, even very important information like where one can safely get one’s head above water when dropped unexpectedly into a lake or pond. That’s the effect on mice, anyway.

Scientists have discovered that if they play very irritating hissing noises to mice, the mice are then likely to forget where they can swim to safety while struggling to stay afloat in buckets of water … according to a story published on the science blog ‘ScienCentralNews’.

So if it affects mice, what is it doing to us?

Do you feel overwhelmed by too many things to do?  Have you noticed lately that you wake up early or in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep because your mind is racing?  Or have you been feeling more irritable about minor things at work or at home with your family?   If so, it sounds like there’s too much stress in your life.

Information-overload is one source of chronic stress.  We are bombarded with information from all angles every day.  From newspapers, television, radio, billboards, magazines, overheard conversations, the internet and so on. And most of what we are hearing and seeing is negative, which adds to the stress levels.

If you think that you’re the only one who’s suffering from your stress levels, think again.  New research suggests that one person’s stress can impact loved ones as well. Stress can be a huge source of misery in many lives.

Why not give it up?  Why not reclaim your life and start living the life you deserve to enable you to overcome your stress rapidly, leaving you physically more relaxed, mentally calmer and much more confident.  Quick fixes are hard to find, and often structural life changes are necessary to remove the major sources of stress.  Life coaching will enable you to overcome stress quickly and easily, leaving you physically more relaxed, mentally calmer, altogether more confident and most importantly, free of stress. Ultimately you will start living the life you desire.  Life Coaching will provide you with the tools required to avoid stress in the future.

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One of the tools you will learn to adopt is to stop getting caught in the avalanche of information – much of it negative as we know – that assaults you throughout the day.  Go on a news fast for a day, a week or a month.  Moderate your TV and Internet time.

Life coaching tackles life stresses in a more courageous way than many stress management techniques, because it invites you to take an honest look at the fundamental cause of your stress – namely – your life.  It offers both coping strategies for living with the status quo, but it also offers opportunities to change the status quo – thereby removing the sources of stress.

The life coaching process allows us to work together to find the sources of your stress and the routes to your happiness.  With the help of a Life Coach, you will design a new, better way to live, and you will find ways to make it happen. It isn’t easy, and it takes time, the Life Coach will support you in regular sessions to monitor progress, tackle problems, and help you to stay positive and energised. You will find the limiting beliefs which keep you down; you will remove these beliefs – springing the trap – allowing you to move into new ways of being.

As a result of these sessions, you will gain a better understanding of your stress (it’s rarely the way it seems at face value), you’ll see a better way to live, and you’ll move towards that better – stress-free life.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you. Get in touch with me today via the contact page of my website. Work with me to reduce your stress levels.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Trusting your intuition

Your intuition often called your gut feelings get their name from the place in the body where they make themselves known.  A pang in your gut when you may be doing the wrong thing, or a vibrant zing when your body approves of what you are doing, can guide you reliably at times when logic fails. Sometimes, when logic takes over, we ignore our intuition and probably live to regret it.  We discover later that a rational approach is only one way of determining what is going on in a situation and how we should react. 

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Your gut resides in the solar plexus just above your belly button. When it is functioning well, you can trust its guidance and adjust your actions accordingly. So many of us have a tendency to hold in this area of our bodies.  We take shallow breaths that never reach this part.  But it is in this place that we find the courage to act, to reach out into the world and create change.  When our gut is out of balance, we are timid and out of sync, wishing we had been able to say something although we were only able to say it later when we were alone; wishing we had acted on the opportunity we hadn’t seen until it was past.
Most of us have probably experienced a sense of knowing things before we know them, even though we probably can’t explain how. Maybe you hesitated at a green light and missed getting hit by a speeding car. Possibly you decide on a whim to break your no-blind-dates policy and meet your life partner. Those ‘insights’ can be tapped into when you learn to recognise the signals.  It could be sweaty palms, a funny feeling in your stomach or even an unexplained certainty that something is not right.  
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According to Judith Orloff PhD, a Los Angeles based intuitive psychiatrist and author or Second Sight (Three Rivers Press, 2010) there are five gut feelings that are advisable to pay attention to:
1.  Something feels wrong in my body.  It could be you feel drained by an energy-draining person. Move away from them.
2.  I am in danger. You can tell within the first 10 seconds of meeting someone if they are friend or foe.
3.  I want help.  Following your instincts for sympathy and generosity generally turns out to be a good investment in your health and happiness.
4.  I know how to do this. Sometimes your can-do instinct developed through years of experience is drowned out by an onslaught of overthinking and your ‘forget’ how to do something.
5.  This is it. Your intuition signals that you’ve found something or someone truly right for you.
In order to get the most out of your gut feelings, you may want to focus your attention on it more regularly and make the time to care for it. You can begin right now by taking a deep breath into your belly.  When you exhale, pull your navel in toward your spine so as to empty out completely before taking another deep breath into your belly.  When you empty completely, you release any stagnant energy and create more space to be filled with the fresh, nourishing breath.  The more you practice this simple, cleansing exercise, the clearer and more communicative your gut feelings will be and the more comfortable you will feel acting on them.
 I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you. Contact me today.
Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Relationship anxiety

Relationship anxiety is very destructive, as you know. If you don’t learn how to get rid of anxiety in your relationship, it leads into a very devastating downward spiral:
  • Suspiciousness
  • Worrying about your partner not loving you, or not caring as much as you do
  • Thoughts of them being unfaithful.
  • Many more self-destructive thoughts and emotions.
And of course, all of these will fuel your relationship anxiety. 
In order to learn how to get rid of anxiety in your relationship, take the following steps:
Ask your partner for reassurance. When you find yourself becoming suspicious in your relationship, try to remember that it is probably being fueled by your anxiety. You may be able to get some relief from your relationship anxiety by asking your partner for occasional reassurance. They will be happy to give this if they are patient and understanding of your anxiety. 
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This kind of support may well be very helpful to you. Ask a trusted friend who is prepared to give you an honest answer if there might be some real reason for you to feel this way. But even when you get that real information, it may not help alleviate your relationship anxiety. You will have to work on that yourself. Perhaps your worry is that you feel that you are too “needy” in your relationship.
For instance, do you need constant reassurance and want your partner to regularly prove that things are really okay? This will inevitably put pressure on you and your partner and will add to the relationship anxiety.
I got married when I was 19 years old and discovered after about six months that I had made a terrible mistake. I was under a lot of pressure from my parents to stay in the marriage as it was not ‘the done thing’ to separate or divorce. In their opinion, I was far too young to know what I was doing. I believed them as I knew nothing different and so tried to make the marriage work.
 
Inevitably the pressure of trying to make it work instead of figuring out how to get rid of anxiety in my relationship made me very unhappy and anxious indeed. I stuck at it for twelve years until I couldn’t take it any longer and I made the decision to leave, take the children, and strike out on my own. I realised eventually that it wasn’t normal to be unhappy and anxious in a relationship.  A hard lesson to learn. That was the right decision for me, and the anxiety was lifted almost as if a huge weight had been taken off my shoulders.
 
If any of this is resonating with you, then you will need to find ways to cope with your anxiety and learn to rely more on yourself for feeling better – taking the pressure off your partner. This will allow you to become more self-sufficient, even in your anxiety. Give yourself permission to reassure yourself instead of turning to your partner for comfort each time you are anxious. Find ways to learn to think more positively. Try being grateful for what you have.
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When you are anxious you can create all kinds of ideas in your imagination that appear so intolerable that you feel compelled to take impulsive and totally misguided actions. You will find yourself:
 
  • Jumping to conclusions
  • Making decisions that are destined to fail
  • Behaving in a totally childish manner, sulking and demanding attention.
  • Look for solutions that will relieve your relationship anxiety and won’t result in increasing your problems further.
  • When you are anxious your partner will be anxious too. It becomes a vicious circle and the anxiety is fed constantly.
 
Learning to trust your intuition is an important part of reducing your anxiety. So, slow down, think through anything you are considering doing and follow your intuition. Make the effort to stop listening to that nagging voice that is telling you something is wrong. It is very likely when you slow down and think rationally that you will find a much better solution for you and your relationship. In this way, you can successfully get rid of anxiety in your relationship.

 If you need help with any of the above, contact me.

 

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.

 

Maggie Currie 

 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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