Intense emotions demand intense methods of expression. There are many outlets for positive feelings – being creative, enjoying the fresh air, talking with friends, having fun – there are however far fewer methods for coping constructively with negative feelings of anger, frustration, fear, sadness, or stress. Consequently, such feelings can lead us to believe that we are not in control of our emotional state.
When we are backed into a mental corner, we may well lash out at the very first person we encounter. Most of us will discover very quickly that our misdirected outpouring of fury has done nothing to relieve the pressure of our pain, in fact it has probably exacerbated it.
Powerful emotions can be likened to the lava in a volcano, just waiting to erupt, temporarily held in check by an ever eroding layer of calm. Within us lies the power to direct that flood of feeling that surges forth by channelling it into productive, artistic or physically tiring activities.
Retaking control of our emotions at their height can often be very difficult. This is because our already negative feelings can convince us, however wrongly, that others are deserving of our wrath. But, when we consciously look for alternative ways of expressing what we feel, we will relieve our pain and use the energy of that pain to add even more value to our lives.
Anger or sadness is the inspiration that inspires us to dedicate ourselves to bringing about a change we wish to see in the world. If we act rather than react, we will become very effective agents of positive transformation. When we channel our frustration or feelings of stress into “outside-the-box thinking” and various proactive exploits, we will discover solutions to the issues that initially left us stuck in this negative state.
And when we view fear as a sign that we need to re-examine our circumstances rather than a sign to flee, we will gain new, and possibly unexpected, insight into our lives.
Channelling your emotions into constructive action will also prevent you from reliving situations, events or even expectations that sparked your feelings in your mind’s eye. Since you are now focusing on a goal, your pain is no longer being fed by your emotional energy and will ebb away rapidly. You will not only avoid lashing out at others, but you will also take an active part in your own healing process while still honestly acknowledging and honouring your feelings.
Journalling helps with getting your emotions under control and will help you get your thoughts in order. Just the act of writing down your thoughts will help you to realise where your thoughts are directed and where you may need to change some of the thoughts that are no longer serving you.
I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.
Maggie Currie
Creedence – Confidence for You
International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author
Maggie, what a deep and enlightening post. You have expressed it so clearly how to work through negative emotions. I love your writing.
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Great post Maggie! Having learned how to redirect my strong emotions by first embracing them, rather than sweeping them under the rug and using the tools we learned in YOU University has been very healing. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this important topic.
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