Making time for YOU!

My clients often tell me that one of the added benefits of coaching they hadn’t considered before they started, is that their coaching session can often be the only time in a busy week that they feel able to step back and truly focus 100% on themselves.  Hand on heart, how often could you say that you allow yourself to do that?

A lot of the time we get so busy ‘doing’ that we forget about ‘being’.

This was a revelation of sorts for me some years back.  I had something fantastically inspiring to aim for, I had the focus and drive to work really hard and I was making good progress.  And yet, I wound up feeling ill, stressed and fairly disillusioned.  If this was what having stretching goals was about, I wasn’t sure I wanted them after all!

Talking through how I felt with a friend one day, I was brought up short when she said “oh yes, you’ve become a human doing instead of a human being” .  That comment really resonated with me and I thought about it all the way home.

As I reflected on the previous few months I could think of few times when I wasn’t ‘doing’ and even fewer times when I’d consciously decided to take time out and ‘be’.

So how much of your time do you spend ‘doing’ and how much do you spend ‘being’?   If you had to divide a circle up with how much time you give over to each, what would it look like?  How big would your ‘being’ slice be?

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With our busy lives and time-poor society it can seem impossible to take more time for ourselves, but at what cost do you choose not to?  My decision those few years back was to invest more time in myself and I’m certain that I’m much more productive as a result.  I get more done in my ‘doing’ time now than I ever did when I was ‘doing’ every waking second of the day.  Plus, my ultimate decision was that it couldn’t all be about the doing and the destination or I’d miss the journey altogether.

So what time could you make for yourself to ‘be’?  To listen to your thoughts and feel your feelings.  When could you next set aside an hour or two, a whole day or even more than that to relax and recharge?  Can you set aside fifteen minutes a day to sit and have a cup of tea or coffee, relax and be you.  How much better would you feel if you did?

Could you do with some regular time set aside to focus 100% on you and on making your life how you want it? If so, what are you prepared to commit to?

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Learn to live your life more simply.  We all have around 80,000 thoughts a day, but we don’t have to listen to or believe them all.  Which are the thoughts that give you a nice feeling?  Which are the thoughts that you don’t like?  Have you considered that you are only one thought away from a lovely feeling and a more peaceful life?

Have you got so lost in the process of life that you have forgotten how to be you?  Would you like to have a conversation to discuss this further? Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Celebrating success

Have you ever noticed  how terrible we can be at acknowledging what we have achieved?  When congratulated on a success, we might hear ourselves say “oh it was nothing”.  On reaching a goal, we might skip the celebration because there is something else to strive for now.  When reviewing a half completed ‘to do’ list, we’ll bemoan what we didn’t do, rather than focus on how much we actually achieved.

Is this because we’re modest to the extreme, or do we simply not recognise just how much we do day to day, month to month, year to year?

I think it’s the latter.  We either don’t recognise how much we do, or we don’t see how important every step we’ve taken is.  We don’t see our progress as an achievement.

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As the frequently quoted saying goes “a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step”.  So if every step is progress, then in my book every step is an achievement.  What if we were to give ourselves more credit for everything we achieve?

Ticking things off a ‘to do’ list might not seem as celebration-worthy as representing your country in a chosen sport, but if it takes you closer to your own personal success then it’s a point scored in your own game!  So take that moment to acknowledge your progress.  When you reach a milestone, give yourself a reward.  And when you achieve what you were aiming for, seriously celebrate your success!

The energy gain from this change in perspective can be massive! I’m certainly more productive when operating from a mindset of ‘look how much closer I am to my objective and how much I’ve achieved!’ than if I were beating myself up about what I had left to do.  I’m sure you will be too.

Try this … Celebrate YOUR Success!

Cork Shot Out From a Bottle of Champagne

What could you do to pat yourself on the back more often?  Here are a few ideas that many of my clients use:

Keep a Success Journal – try it for a week and see how good you feel!  Each time you do something well, write it down.  Each time you complete a task you’ve been putting off, write it down.  Each time you feel even one small step closer to your big objective, write it down!

I met a well known motivational speaker who does this every single day and having kept his success journals over the years, he now has a bookshelf full.  Imagine what he does on a bad day – cheers himself up pretty quickly I’d think!

Reward Yourself – what better pat on the back than giving yourself something you enjoy as a reward!

When something goes well, when you achieve what you wanted to, when you reach a milestone on your way to something bigger… celebrate your success with a treat.  It could be a nice meal, a night out, a small gift to yourself or the bliss of a day / half a day doing something you absolutely love.  What will it be?

Tell somebody – let them share it with you!  When something goes well, don’t keep quiet, shout it from the rooftops and enjoy the recognition.

Many of my clients find simple strategies to recognise their daily achievements and spur themselves on to greater success!

If you find this resonates with you, get in touch with me for a free conversation about your thoughts on your success or lack of success.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/Maggie-Currie-Coaching-527886050648208/?ref=hl
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Who are your teachers?

We learn all the time through various means – at school, college, university, from neighbours, friends, relatives etc. Who have been your teachers over the years?

My teachers have been my parents, my primary school teachers, my senior school teachers, college tutors, my cousins, my children, my grandchildren, colleagues, my friends, my mother-in-law, my husband, myself and strangers.

I was taught as a child by my parents and my teachers that I was average. This is not a lesson I want to keep because I am not, never have been and never will be average. I am unique and I may not know the same things that so called clever people know, but what I do know is just as valuable.

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I was taught by my college tutors that I should follow the rules. This is not a lesson I want to keep because not all rules should be followed. There are some rules that must be followed for good reasons, and there are some that can be bent a little, and some that should be ignored completely. It is all dependent upon the situation and the rule.

I was taught by my husband and three children that love is unconditional for them. That is a lesson I am keeping because no matter what I love them all unconditionally.

I have been taught by my grandchildren that they are more intelligent than their previous generations and that they will be going places when they are old enough. This is a lesson I want to keep and I want to watch them do just that.

I was taught by my mother-in-law that we are on this earth to help people. This is a lesson definitely to keep because that is what I do above all else. Help people, everywhere.

I was taught by myself that I can do more than I originally thought was possible to do. This is definitely another lesson I want to keep and expand upon.

I have learned and am still learning that there is so much more to learn and that life is a school. This lesson will be staying for the rest of my life.

I have learned that life only works one way, inside out and understanding this makes my life so much better.

 Think about who has taught you over the years, what you have learned and how valuable it is.
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Is there something you have learned that has made a huge difference in your life?  Let me know, I am interested to hear from you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/Maggie-Currie-Coaching-527886050648208/?ref=hl
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Putting ‘You’ first

Do you remember travelling on a plane?  If you do, you have probably heard the instructions of the cabin crew reminding you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping anyone else with theirs. This advice is often told as a story for self-care because it expresses accurately why it is so important.

A woman was travelling on a plane with her twin 4 year old daughters.  The safety message clearly stated that should there be an emergency the oxygen masks would drop down.  Passengers were instructed to ensure they fitted their own masks before going to aid anyone else.

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There was an emergency, the oxygen masks fell.  The mother tried to fit a mask on one of her daughters, who wriggled and screamed and so she failed.  She tried to fit a mask on her other daughter with the same effect.  By the time she had unsuccessfully tried to fix their masks in place she had lost consciousness.  They too lost consciousness.  Sadly they all died.

This is why it is so important to look after you first.  To put your metaphorical oxygen mask on first.  So that if there are problems with helping others, you are still alive to keep on helping.

There are very few situations in your daily life that mimic the wake-up call of a plane emergency, so it’s very easy to keep putting off self-care.  Easy, that is, until you get ill, overwhelmed or physically exhausted, and suddenly you don’t have the energy to care for the people who count on you.  That’s when you realise that you haven’t been caring for yourself. It begins to dawn on you that taking care of yourself is not selfish or indulgent; it’s just plain practical.

Putting yourself first means that it might be necessary to say no to someone else in order to say yes to yourself.  For many of you, that is the point where guilt kicks in and you feel you could or should be doing something for someone else.  Keep in mind the oxygen mask metaphor.

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You can encourage yourself by saying “I am caring for myself so that I can care for others” or any other sentence or phrase that you find encouraging.  It will also help you if you remember that self-care doesn’t have to be very time-consuming. In fact, the best prescription for taking care of yourself probably means small, daily rituals; for example, taking a half-hour for yourself at the beginning and/or end of each day to meditate or journal, think or read or just be. You may also like to transform your daily shower or bath into a half-hour self-pampering session occasionally.

Whatever you decide is right for you, making that small gesture where you put yourself first every day will pay off  hugely for you and the ones you love.

Putting yourself first is not selfish, it is vital; you just need to be reminded how important you are to you and everyone else.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Consultant, Coach, Author
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/Maggie-Currie-Coaching-527886050648208/?ref=hl
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You are great!

One of the most well known confidence building exercises is to list your own strengths and natural abilities. By looking at the list you will be able to say “Wow, I really am good!” It is a true reflection of your abilities.

Another great way of building your confidence and getting in touch with how great you actually are is to ask friends, colleagues and people who you know for feedback on your strengths and natural abilities.

As a practical exercise list 5 people who you know and trust.  Make sure they are from different areas of your life.

List them: Here are a few suggestions

  • A family member
  • A friend
  • A work colleague
  • An associate
  • A social contact
  • An evening class member
  • A group member

You might at this stage be feeling a little nervous about asking these people for feedback. Don’t worry, because you will be only asking for your strengths.

Just go for it!

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So, how do you go about it? Well, below is a list of questions that I’d like you to ask to each person on your list.

I recommend that you explain the context of the exercise however you feel is best and then email them the questions so they can email their feedback to you.

  1. What do you perceive to be my greatest strengths?
  2. What do you like most about me?
  3. What do you value most about me?
  4. What three words sum up the positive points about me?
  5. If you needed help with something, what would you call me to help you with?

They will feel honoured that you have asked them and the feedback that you will receive will truly make you feel fabulous and full of confidence. Rightly or wrongly, we live in a society where other peoples’ opinions count to our self esteem and confidence. By completing this exercise you will get a genuine insight into some of your strengths.

Often you receive valuable information on the strengths that you didn’t even know you had!

After you have received all of the feedback it is now time to reflect on what has been written or said:

  • How do you feel about it?
  • Are there any surprises?
  • Do you feel confident about your abilities?
  • How can you use this information going forward?
  • How can you maximise your strengths?

 

golden courage dust

Here is some golden courage dust to help you on your way with this exercise.

 

If these people think you have these strengths, so do a lot of other people as well – how does that make you feel?

  • What are the key insights you have learned?
  • What will you do now differently from what you have done before?

I would love to hear about your experience of doing this exercise.

Maybe you need help to begin thinking more positively about yourself.  So, if this resonates with you, and you would like to have a conversation about how coaching with me will work, get in touch today and we can arrange to have a chat to begin finding out where you think you are in your life and how I can serve you.

As Sydney Banks says, “ Thought is the master key that opens the world of reality to all living creatures.

I really look forward to hearing from you soon.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Consultant, Coach, Author
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/Maggie-Currie-Coaching-527886050648208/?ref=hl
Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Removing stress with coaching

Having too much stress in your life, will make you anxious, irritable and unproductive.  It will affect your relationship with yourself, your performance at work, your long term physical and emotional health and your quality of your life.

Coaching will enable you to overcome stress quickly and easily, leaving you physically more relaxed, mentally calmer, altogether more confident and most importantly, free of stress. Ultimately you will start living the life you desire.

Why is it that all we seem to hear about these days is stress?  Why does it seem to pervade everything we do?  Well the simple answer is that as a result of ever-increasing expectations and competition more and more people are spending increasing amounts of time utilising their body’s natural stress response.

This instinctive response releases stress hormones directly into the bloodstream. These hormones cause instant mental, emotional and physiological changes – extra awareness, endurance and strength.  So if we were in a dangerous situation, this would help us to survive.

Because stress hormones get us fired-up, rather like sprinters crouched and waiting for the starting-gun, and because most stressed people don’t get the release of the race itself,  the stress hormones just keep on working.

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As a result, we permanently have to endure these feelings of immediate danger and physiological, mental and emotional readiness, never able to relax and never able to feel at ease. Does this sound familiar?

Stress has a dramatic impact on the quality of our lives. It can cause a wide range of emotional problems including issues with anger, anxiety, addiction, panic and obsessive thoughts.  It can also affect our physiology such that we suffer from insomnia and the inability of our immune system to work effectively.

Perhaps your stress is caused by going through or the aftermath of divorce or a life trauma.  Stress can also be caused by health worries – real or perceived, by financial worries, through a whole raft of worries, through being alone or never being alone.

Do you feel overwhelmed by having too many things to do?  Have you noticed that you wake up early or in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep because your mind is racing?  Have you been feeling more irritable about minor things at work or at home?   If so, it sounds like there’s too much stress in your life.

You are not alone. But why not give it up?  Why not reclaim your life and start living the life you deserve to enable you to overcome your stress rapidly, leaving you physically more relaxed, mentally calmer and much more confident.

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One of the tools you will learn to adopt through coaching is to stop getting caught in the avalanche of information – much of it negative – that assaults you throughout the day and adds to your worries and therefore the stress levels.  Go on a news fast for a day, or a week.  Moderate your TV and Internet time.

Coaching tackles life stresses in a more courageous way than many stress management techniques, because it invites you to take an honest look at the fundamental cause of your stress – namely – your life.

Unlock your future by building the new foundations of your life now.  Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Thought Leader, Coach, Speaker, Author, Survivor
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

maggieheart
Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Do you really know what will it take to make you happy?

Do you really know what will it take to make you happy?

Think about it and see if you can discover, or if you know, what it will take for you to be happy?

  • Will being in a relationship, or with the right boyfriend/girlfriend make you happy?
  • Will being married make you happy?
  • Will having a million pounds make you happy?
  • Will being successful make you happy?
  • Will having better health make you happy?
  • Will getting a new job make you happy?
  • Will having a great career make you happy?

If you think the answer is yes to any or all of the above questions, you’ll never find happiness!

Surprised? Well don’t be. The truth is nothing can make you happy. Happiness is something we feel, not something we can find.

20 ways to increase your confidence after divorce

 

Being happy doesn’t depend on a particular outcome or something happening to you. There isn’t somewhere you can go and find happiness sitting there waiting for you.

Advertising of all sorts is designed to make you think that a new car, a particular skin cream, a new outfit, some new shoes, a drink or a new diet will make you happy, but that is simply not true. Nothing can make you happy because happiness is a feeling. Happiness is something you experience.

If you want to be happy, then be happy. Most people don’t choose to be happy because they spend most of their time focusing on what they perceive is wrong with their life.

Think about it, you can’t be happy doing something that you don’t like. If you don’t believe me try it. Try doing something you despise and see if you can be happy at the same time. Trust me, you won’t be happy doing something you don’t enjoy!

You also can’t do something you really enjoy and be sad or angry. Don’t believe me? Try it. See what happens. Go and try doing something you really enjoy and see if you’re angry or miserable at the same time. That really doesn’t work.

Unfortunately, people believe they can be happy when they achieve a particular goal and make the mistake of chasing that goal in order to be happy. It’s really not achieving the goal that makes them happy. It’s the feeling of achieving the goal that provides another feeling, satisfaction perhaps,  that is mistaken for happiness.

This mistake is quite common, because it’s not security or peace of mind that makes you happy. You experience happiness when you do what you enjoy and when you focus on the positive things taking place in your life. If you’re not doing that then you can never be happy.  Don’t think that you can be happy just by having something.

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You can experience happiness by achieving your particular goal,  by doing what you enjoy, having fun while achieving your goals and choosing the right goals, the kind that allow you to be happy all the time.  Focus on what you want.

Start doing the things that you enjoy. Look at the positive things that are going on in your life. Direct your mind and subconscious mind to help you experience happiness every day. This will start once you begin to appreciate the good things in your life.

Okay so how can you begin to be happy? It’s really quite simple, all you have to do is shift your focus.

Instead of looking at all that is wrong with your life, instead of looking at what you don’t like about yourself or your life; constantly criticising; change your focus. Start appreciating all that is good in your life. You will probably find there are many things you appreciate.

Make a list if you want and write out all of the positive things in your life. Usually someone will say: “Maggie, I can’t think of anything positive or good in my life. I just want to be happy.” That’s only because you are not seeing all the positive things in your life.  And so you’ll never be happy.

Every day there are wonderful things taking place in your life, yet you fail to observe and recognise them. You tend to take them for granted.  This can be anything – a hot  meal, a wonderful spouse, family, a beautiful flower, lambs playing in a field –  If you have a roof over your head, that’s a positive aspect of your life.

Start looking at all of the great and terrific things that are going on in your life and you’ll begin to experience happiness on a deeper level. You can begin to improve or change the areas that you are not happy with but at the same time you should acknowledge the good things that are going on in your life.

Your mind is used to only paying attention to what is going wrong and in the process it directs the subconscious mind to continue creating more of those things that are going wrong. You actually create more of what makes you unhappy.

Why?

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Because your subconscious creates what you regularly think about. So if you don’t regularly focus on the positive things you won’t create positive situations in your life.

And here’s where it gets worse.  When you constantly focus on what is wrong with your life, when you only think about and see what is wrong in your life your subconscious begins to create more of what is wrong or more of what you don’t want because it thinks that you want more.

Now you know why it can be so difficult for some people to truly experience happiness, it’s because they’re used to focusing on the negative aspects of life and in the end continue to create more of what they don’t want.

In order to change all of this you have to begin training the mind and re-directing the subconscious mind to begin creating what you want in life and to focus on the good things that are taking place in your life.

Begin experiencing happiness by changing your focus. Every day think of the positive things that are going on in your life. Make a list of all the wonderful things that are taking place in your life.

Think of at least 3 great things that happened to you, they can be small or large – but just appreciate 3 good things that happened during the day. Focus on the positive. Direct your mind and subconscious mind by changing your perspective so you experience happiness everyday

Too often I hear from people who simply want to be happy but when I ask them what they do for fun they say: “Nothing.” No wonder you’re not happy. How can you be happy if you’re never having fun in life?

If you want to experience happiness then start doing things that you enjoy.  You may like gardening; you may like hang gliding, you may like riding your bike, you may enjoy going for long walks, you may enjoy acting like a 5-year old – whatever it is start doing it and see how great you feel.

But there is one catch when you’re doing what you enjoy, you can only focus on that and not think about anything else that may be bothering you. That’s the only way you’ll truly enjoy the activity and begin to experience happiness.

As adults we get bogged down with the everyday tasks that force us to be serious. We have jobs where we’re serious, bills to pay, food to prepare, children to look after, it’s all too serious and it is necessary. I’m not suggesting you ignore your responsibilities – but take some time just to have some fun.

Now you can’t just have fun once a week or once a month. You have to do this every day. It can be for just 5 minutes a day if you like.  That means every day you have to find something fun to do, and only then will you get comfortable and used to the process to the point where you regularly experience happiness. Once you start doing this you’ll enjoy it so much you’ll wonder why you never did this to begin with.

If you don’t feel you have the time to have fun and enjoy your life then you’re really saying that your happiness is not important enough. Only when you decide to be happy will you truly begin to experience happiness. You can work with the techniques I’ve outlined – they will help you get started. But you will need to train your mind and subconscious mind to begin seeing and living in a different way.

 

 Maggie Currie

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© Maggie Currie and Maggie Currie Coaching, 2011-2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Maggie Currie and MaggieCurrie.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

 

S.E.L.F. – E – Energy

What comes to mind when you think of energy? Getting fit, running a marathon or something just as energetic? Well, that is one meaning, but I am referring to the energy we expend in our daily lives doing what we normally do.

The dictionary definition is:

  • the strength and vitality required for sustained physical or mental activity.

In our daily lives we spend a lot of emotional energy worrying, decision making, hiding behind a persona we have created that we think other people want to see, and a million other activities that in themselves aren’t energetic, but use up a lot of emotional energy. So much so that we feel tired, get irritable and, at the end of the day, wonder what on earth we have been doing to feel this way.

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But do we need to waste our emotional energy on some of these activities? No we don’t.  Some of these activities are, quite frankly, futile and others are a bad choice. But there is something you can do to save your energy so that you don’t end up frazzled, tired and irritable.  Come to my workshop and learn what you can do for yourself to ease this situation.

In September I am presenting a FREE workshop and energy is one of the topics included.  Click here to book your ticket today and learn more about the secret of SELF.

 

Maggie Currie

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Asking me for help comes from a place of strength, not weakness

Many people find it challenging to accept help, and even more challenging for some to ask for help.  They somehow believe that asking for help they are undermining their ability to cope or they think they have failed in some way.  Some also believe that asking for and taking help from others is a weakness.

All of those ways of thinking, whilst totally believable, have been ingrained in us through conditioning.  I always remember my parents saying to me ‘You don’t need help, you are a big girl now, you can do it on your own’, or ‘Don’t be weak, get on with it yourself’.  Thus, I thought for a long time that I should be able to cope and that I didn’t need help.

Remember, there are no shoulds in this world.

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My parents believed they were doing the right thing, as they had been conditioned similarly by their parents.

Now is the time to bust those myths wide open!  Asking for help does not come from a place of weakness, it comes from a place of strength!

Being aware that you need help in some areas shows a positive way of thinking and is in no way a sign of weakness.  It is most definitely a sign of strength.  There is no stigma attached to asking for help, there are no hard and fast rules about how much people must be able to struggle on without asking for help.

Take for example a shop owner.  He/she opens a shop selling widgets and they become so popular that in a few short months the shop owner finds that going to the market to buy the widgets, stocking the shop, selling and answering customer queries on the phone is all too much.  Without help the shop will most certainly fail, as customers will go to another shop where they perceive they are getting better service.

The shop owner needs to know when to ask for help, either by hiring a shop assistant or a buyer, or perhaps both.  The business will then go from strength to strength as the customers will have their widgets, the shop owner can get on with selling them, and the buyer can get on with buying them.

Asking for help will find the solutions you are looking for.  Burying problems is a sign of weakness and is the same as running away from the problem and hiding.

You also need to trust that you are worthy of receiving help and, of course, trust the person you go to for help.  There are many exploitative people out there and you will detect them easily.  Remember, it is about their karma, and not your worth.  They will move away from you once they are discovered.

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 Don’t be fooled by the illusion that all problems are easy or that problems needing solving only apply to some people and not you.  Never apologise for your need for help.

It is a good idea to prioritise your problems and your need to ask for help.  If you can fix a problem on your own effectively then do it and reward yourself.  However, if you have a problem where you can’t find a solution on your own, then ask for help.

There will be problems that nobody can fix.  And there lies the greatest strength of all – letting go of that problem.  Accept there is no solution and let it go.

Ask me for help with problems you may have in parts of your life.  There is no stigma, it is a sign of strength and it is my life’s work to help other people to find solutions to their problems.  Don’t ever be afraid to ask me for help.

Contact me to have a free chat on how my coaching can help you find solutions to your problems.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

Coaching you to become the very best version of you so you can have more fun, live a better life and enjoy your work.

 

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