self-awareness

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Coming out of a haze

When we feel muddled and unfocused, unsure of which way to turn, we say we are in a fog or a haze. Similar to when we are in a fog in nature, we may feel like we can’t see where we’re going or where we’ve come from, and we’re afraid if we move too quickly we might run into something hidden in the mists that seem to surround us.

Being in a haze necessarily slows us down by limiting our visibility. The best choice may be to pull over and wait for the murkiness to clear. If we move at all, we must go slowly, feeling our way and keeping our eyes open for shapes emerging from the haze, perhaps relying on the taillights of someone in front of us as we make our way along the road.
magnifying-glass
By and large, most of us prefer to be able to see where we are going and move steadfastly in that direction, but there are gifts that come from being in a fog. Sometimes it takes an obstacle like fog to get us to stop and be still in the moment, doing nothing. In this moment of involuntary inactivity, we may look within and find that the source of our fogginess is inside us; it could be some emotional issue that needs tending before we can safely go full steam ahead.

Being in a haze reminds us that when we cannot see outside ourselves, we can always make progress by looking within. Then again, the fog may simply be teaching us important lessons about how to continue moving forward with extreme caution, harnessing our attention, watching closely for new information, and being ready to stop on a sixpence.
winding path
We cannot predict when a haze will come, nor can we know for certain when it will lift, but we can centre ourselves in the haze and wait for guidance. We may find it inside ourselves or in a pair of barely visible taillights just ahead. Whether we follow the lights out of the fog, wait for a gentle breeze to lift it, or allow the sun to burn it away, we can rest certain that one way or another, we will move forward with clarity once again.  Our innate thinking will lead us in the right direction.

If anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

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Grounding Ourselves

We often hear people telling us to ground ourselves, but equally often we are not sure exactly what that means and how we might do it.  Grounding ourselves is a way of bringing ourselves literally back to earth.  Some of us are more prone than others to essentially leaving our bodies and not being firmly rooted in our bodies. There’s nothing terribly wrong with this, but while we are living on the earth it is best to stay grounded in the body.

One of the easiest ways to ground ourselves is to bring our attention to our breath as it enters and leaves our bodies. After about 10 breaths, we will probably find that we feel much more connected to our physical selves. We might then bring our awareness to the sensations in our bodies, moving from our head down to our feet, exploring and inquiring. Just a few minutes of this can bring us home to bodies and to the earth, and this is what it means to ground ourselves.

20 ways to increase your confidence after divorce

We can go further by imagining that we have roots growing out of the bottoms of our feet, connecting us to the earth. The roots flow with us so we can we always move, but at the same time they keep us grounded. We receive powerful energy from the earth just as we do from the forms of energy we associate with the sky, and our body is a tool that brings these two energies together.

Often, standing on the grass with bare feet is equally good at grounding ourselves.  Feel the grass between your toes and the earth under your feet.  Feel the connection between you and the ground beneath.

Grounding ourselves every day, especially at the beginning of the day, is such a beneficial practice. Be consciously aware of your connection with our earth.

If anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make changes if you want to in your life. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Your True Inner Voice

Within each of us, there are numerous voices often that compete for our attention. It can be difficult to decide which one to listen to, particularly when their messages are all quite different, sometimes conflicting, and even alluring. One voice, however, is the speaker of truth.

Among all your inner voices, your true inner voice is the one which encourages you, gives you hope, and pushes you to trust and believe in yourself. It is your innate thinking or your intuition.

Conflict within oneself is often caused by dueling voices inside of each one of us. As we move through life, we get mixed messages from the various aspects of ourselves. Some of our voices, such as the naysayer or saboteur, can speak so loudly that they drown out the voice of truth.

Listening to your true inner voice – often the voice of understanding, support, and self-assurance – it will help lessen and even resolve internal conflict.

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If you’re looking toward the future but your faith in your ability to succeed in life is wavering, you will benefit from finding and listening to your true inner voice. You can connect with it by remaining relaxed and alert, while listening carefully. If you have trouble distinguishing your true voice from the others, meditation may be helpful. You may hear many voices as you meditate, but the one you should pay attention to is the one that speaks to you with love, understanding, and compassion. It will boost your spirits and urge you to go after your dreams. And it won’t cause confusion, remind you of past mistakes, or cause you to doubt yourself.

Remember that if your inner voices are telling you to worry about the past, ignore them since the past is over and done with and cannot be changed.

If your inner voices are telling you to worry about what might happen in the future, ignore them since we don’t know what is going to happen, so it is being made up by that inner voice.  Only listen to your intuition – your true inner voice.

thoughts

The more you listen to and believe in what your true inner voice is telling you about your value and your potential, the stronger that voice will become. And the more you will ignore the voices that can interfere with your resolve to succeed,  those voices will become quieter. Saying no to the voices that are judgmental and make you feel ashamed will help you stop being critical of your failures and afraid of success.

By finding and strengthening your true inner voice, you will be able to ignore internal conflict and pick out the one that speaks the truth.

If anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course be happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make changes if you want to in your life. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

 

 

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The Best We Can Be – honouring our children

Everything we do and say in the presence of our children makes an impression on them. We may think we can get away with swearing or gossiping in front of them when they can’t talk, but we have forgotten that just because they can’t talk doesn’t mean they don’t hear. They are sensitive sponges absorbing their environment in ways we will never know. Even if the words don’t make sense to them, they make an impression, as does the energy behind the words. We honour our children when we acknowledge that they are fully present from the very beginning and when we offer ourselves to them in ways that model the best of what humans can be.

sisters

When we bring a child into the world, a great welling up of love and hope fills our hearts. We unequivocally want the very best for our children, and we want to be the best parents a child could ever want. We begin to see ourselves and our lives in a different light, and things that seemed okay before we had a child suddenly reveal themselves as problematical. This can lead to a somewhat mincing review of our habits of speech, thought and feeling, our relationships, and our physical habits. We may feel that we have put ourselves under a microscope, which can be stressful. However, it can also lead to a great healing of our own unresolved issues and, in turn, it enables us to be good parents to our children. Talking to other conscious parents about this life transformation can be very helpful.

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Our desire to become the best we can be is often strongest at the very beginning of a child’s life and sometimes loses its intensity as we grow accustomed to their presence. However, it is never too late to look at ourselves and notice whether we are offering our best to our children. That original welling up of love and hope can inspire us throughout our lives to be the best we can be.

If anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course happy to help you.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make changes if you want to in your life. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

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You are stronger than you realise

Our capacity to cope successfully with life’s challenges far outstrips our capacity to feel nervousness.  Yet in the weeks, days and hours leading up to an event that we believe will test our limits, we become nervous.  While we have previously regarded ourselves as equal to the trials that lie ahead, we reach a point at which they near and our anxiety begins to mount. We then become increasingly worked up, until the moment of truth arrives and we discover that our worry was all for nothing.  We are almost always stronger and more capable that we believe ourselves to be.  But anxiety is not rational in nature, which means that in most cases we cannot work through it using logic as our only tool.  Reason can help us recognise the relative futility of unwarranted worry but, more often than not, we will find more comfort in patterns of thought and activity that re-direct our attention to practical or engaging matters.

 

donotfeedthefears

Most of us find it remarkably difficult to focus on two distinct thoughts or emotions at once, and we can use this natural human limitation to our advantage when trying to stay centred in the time leading up to a potentially tricky experience.  When we concentrate on something unrelated to our worry – such as deep breathing, visualisations, pleasurable pursuits or exercise – anxiety dissipates naturally.  Meditation is also a useful coping mechanism as it provides us with a means to ground ourselves in the moment.

concept

The intense emotional flare up you experience just before you are set to challenge yourself is often a mixture of both excitement and fear.  When you take steps to eliminate the fear, you can more fully enjoy the moment.  Though you may find it difficult to avoid getting worked up, your awareness of the forces acting on your feelings will help you return to your centre and accept that few hurdles you will face will be as high as they at first appear.

If anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course happy to help you, please contact me .

What I offer is coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make changes if you want to in your life. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Family life and looking after YOU.

Many of us have a hard time balancing taking care of ourselves with taking care of our family responsibilities. For people with young children, this can be especially challenging, but even people without children may have obligations to care for extended family, partners, pets, and the home in which they live. It’s easy to lose track of our own needs as we give ourselves to the people, pets, and places we love. However, it is essential to their well-being that we take care of ourselves, filling our own wells with water so that we have something to offer when we return home each day.

sisters

 

It is easy to get caught up in the demands of home life because they never stop. There is always one more thing you can do, another dish in the sink, a work surface that needs wiping, or a person who needs a ride somewhere. If you don’t set some boundaries, you will find yourself on an endless journey of housework and doing for others. Eventually, you will probably feel drained and out of touch with your inner life force. Instead of waiting for this to happen, integrate self-care into your daily schedule. Even if it is only half an hour to yourself each day. There are times when even that will not be possible—for example, with a new baby or a sick relative. At times like this, retreating inward energetically can be a lifesaver. You can always find five minutes to close your eyes and breathe consciously. Or take just ten minutes to read a few paragraphs of a book. This will help you to relax and rebuild your strength.  Make sure you spend at least ten minutes, preferably thirty minutes, on yourself during the day.  Or even have two or three ten minute breaks just for you.

 

wiseowl


Most of the time, though, it is possible to set aside a full hour for yourself each day. In addition, scheduling a longer interval of time, perhaps on a weekly basis, can really help to restore your energy. Get a massage or go to see a film or have an evening out with a friend. Taking time to experience the world outside of your home makes returning home all the more wonderful. In the same way, taking care of yourself is a natural complement to taking care of your home and family.

If anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course happy to help you, please contact me .

What I offer is coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make changes if you want to in your life. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Are you enjoying the most important relationship in your life?

The most important relationship you have in your life is with yourself.  Even though you are the only one who is present at every moment of your life – from the moment of conception onward – this relationship can often be the most difficult one to cultivate.  This is possibly because society places so much emphasis on the importance of being in a romantic partnership, even instilling in us the belief that you should set aside your own needs for the those of others.  But, until you know yourself, you cannot possibly choose the right relationship to support your mutual growth toward your highest potential.  By allowing yourself to be comfortable with being alone, you can become the person with whom you want to have a relationship.

Dealing with emotional abuse

It would appear that at no other time in history has it been possible for people to survive, and even thrive, whilst living alone.  We have the freedom to support ourselves financially, socially and emotionally without depending on a spouse for survival in any of these areas.  With this freedom comes the opportunity to pursue our own interests and create fulfilling partnerships with friends, business partners and neighbours.  Once we’ve satisfied our needs and created our support system, a partner then becomes someone with whom we can share the bounty of all we’ve created as well as the beauty we’ve discovered within ourselves.

It may be that we need to learn to create spaces to be alone within our relationships. But if we can shift our expectations of our relationships with ourselves and others to opportunities for discovery, we then open ourselves up to forge new paths and discover uncharted territory. Being willing to know and love ourselves, and to find what truly makes us feel deeply and strongly, gives us the advantage of being able to attract and choose the right people with whom to share ourselves. Choosing to enjoy being alone allows us to explore more fully our most important relationship—the one with our true selves.

If anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course happy to help you, please contact me .

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you too.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Make sure you are ‘being’ as well as ‘doing’

My clients often tell me that one of the added benefits of coaching with me that they hadn’t considered before they started, is that their  sessions can often be the only time in a busy week that they feel able to step back and truly focus 100% on themselves.  Hand on heart, how often could you say that you allow yourself to do that?

A lot of the time we get so busy ‘doing’ that we forget about ‘being’.

This was a revelation of sorts for me some years back.  I had something fantastically inspiring to aim for, I had the focus and drive to work really hard and I was making good progress.  And yet, I wound up feeling ill, stressed and fairly disillusioned.  If this was what achieving my goals was about, I wasn’t sure I wanted them after all!

Talking through how I felt with a friend one day, I was brought up short when she said “oh yes, you’ve become a human doing instead of a human being” and I thought about that all the way home.

As I reflected on the previous few months I could think of few times when I wasn’t ‘doing’ and even fewer times when I’d consciously decided to take time out and just be.

 

So how much of your time do you spend ‘doing’ and how much do you spend ‘being’?   If you had to divide a circle up with how much time you give over to each, what would it look like?  How big would your ‘being’ slice be?

piechart

With our busy lives and time-poor society it can seem nearly impossible to take more time for ourselves, but at what cost do you choose not to?  My decision those few years back was to invest more time in myself and I’m certain that I’m much more productive as a result.  I get more done in my ‘doing’ time now than I ever did when I was ‘doing’ every waking second of the day.  Plus, my ultimate decision was that it couldn’t all be about the doing and the destination or I’d miss the journey altogether.

What time could you make for yourself to just be?  When could you next set aside an hour or two, a whole day or even more than that to relax and recharge?  How much better would you feel if you did?

Could you do with some regular time set aside to focus 100% on you and on making your life how you want it?   If you’d like to see how working with me as your coach could help you, call me for a free conversation on 01983 754666.  Make time for yourself to work on you.

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When you coach with me you will discover your authentic, true self,  find and live your passions, live the starring role in your own life, not the ‘support act’ in someone else’s. How much value do you put on your life?

My coaching will give you all you need to become self-assured so that you can face life head on.  Expect to be challenged, excited, to laugh, to cry, learn new things, relearn old things in new ways, step out of your comfort zone and make some minor and some significant changes.

One to one coaching or group coaching is available.  Call me to find out more. This could be the first step you take to transform the look and feel of your life — forever!

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

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Bouncing back

Life happens.  It doesn’t matter how positive you are or how balanced and centred you are, there are going to be times when you are knocked sideways. Times when your carefully organized life is turned upside down and you get knocked for six.  Life happens!

You may be challenged with any number of situations that will leave you feeling like you were kicked in the stomach.  It may be the loss of a loved one, a divorce, the loss of a job.

Let’s face it. Things happen. They’re part of life and no matter how you try to explain them away with the idea that “everything happens for a reason,” they hurt. And they hurt a lot!

They hurt at the very core of your being. The pain begins in your heart and radiates throughout your entire being. Repeating positive phrases does not make it stop hurting.

emotionalwoman

At times like these you’re probably going to feel down, maybe depressed. You will probably feel anger or some other manifestation of your pain. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s ok. It’s ok to feel hurt, sad, angry or whatever your true feelings are. You cannot deny pain any more than you can deny fear. The only way through this is to give yourself permission to feel the feeling.

The question is not whether or not you will feel down. The question is for how long will you stay in this state?

The difference between people who get through life’s challenging moments, regardless of the seriousness, and those who are immobilized by the events is their ability to bounce back.

How quickly can you bounce back?  Of course, the severity of the event will have a lot to do with the time it will take you to get past the pain and on with your life.

Take the example of two people being downsized from their job, something that is becoming a natural occurrence these days.  One is floored by the news of his dismissal.  He expresses his pain by becoming angry at his employers, his colleagues and the system in general.  He spends his days telling anyone who’ll listen, about his “problem.”

Usually from a barstool!

As he sees it, his life is ruined and he’s blaming everyone for his troubles.  People who react like this spend weeks, even months or years, wallowing in despair until, if they’re fortunate, someone close to them convinces them to seek professional help.

screaming

On the other hand, the other person reacts very differently.  Although they have gone through the same experience, and have pretty much the same issues like living expenses, etc., they choose to react differently.

After a brief period of feeling a loss of self-esteem, self-pity and anger, they decide to get back in the game. They begin contacting their network of colleagues, avail themselves of the courses and other services their former employer offered everyone and starts actively looking for a new position.  In a short time they find their “dream job” with an exciting new company.

While both people in our hypothetical example had the same experience and both went through a period of hurting, the time each allowed themselves to remain in that dis-empowering state was vastly different.  While one remained “stuck” in their problem, the other handled their loss and moved on with their life.

This is the key. It’s not whether life occasionally puts you into a tailspin, it’s how long you choose to remain there.

dosomethingtoday

When something devastating happens to you, allow yourself some time to grieve your loss.  However, don’t allow yourself to get stuck there. Take some action. Join a support group, talk about your feelings with a trusted friend or your spiritual advisor.  If necessary, seek professional help.

In the case of a job loss, perhaps you might want to take some time to re-evaluate your career goals. You may even consider a change in career altogether. When you’re ready, you can begin networking and making new contacts.  Attend social or networking events. Call people you know. Do something!

One of the most important things to remember in high stress situations is not to allow yourself to become isolated. While spending some time alone is normal, even necessary, isolation can be dangerous and should be avoided at all costs. Get out and be with people as soon as possible.

As a friend recently reminded me, “life is for the living.” It’s important to get back to your life. In time, the pain will pass.

If anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, and of course happy to help you, please contact me .

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you too.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Fear of crowds

Fear of crowds is very common for a lot of people whether they are single, married, male, female, high flyers, students, teachers, old or young .

I know how it feels to be alone in a crowd. I often feel totally overwhelmed in a large crowd of people, especially if I don’t know anyone in that crowd. It can feel like I am on the periphery and not allowed into the inner circle, and that, of course, makes the fear even worse. I wonder if the fear is actually of the crowds themselves or is it a fear of feeling lost or being unnoticed amongst a large number of people?

I know when I am in a large crowd of people entirely ‘on my own’ I feel nervous; I have an irrational fear that nobody will even notice that I am there.  I look at the little groups of people who do know each other within that large crowd enjoying themselves and the company of each other and that somehow increases my nervousness and the fear.  Of course they may feel just like I do but when I feel that fear, it certainly looks like they’re having a great time and I’m not. When I am in a large crowd of people and I have my own ‘group of people’ with me I feel safe and secure and know that I am noticed and therefore I don’t have those same feelings as when I am alone in a crowd.

Business people communicating with each other against white

Did you grow up in a house where “children were seen and not heard”? I know I did. That might be the root of these feelings of nervousness and insecurity as they are for me. I can ultimately relate feeling like this to my childhood when I was constantly told that I should be seen and not heard.  So I would sit in the corner with my toys and only speak when I was spoken to.

Having worked hard on discovering my authentic self, discovering, acknowledging and accepting those unexpressed feelings and emotions of when I was told to be seen and not heard,  I now think and act differently.  I know there is a solution to this fear of crowds.  Based on what I know to be true about fear.  I know that FEAR is:

False

Expectations

Appearing

Real

I have found the solution that works for me and this might work for you too:

  • Don’t worry about pleasing anyone else. Just be you.
  • Here’s what I do – I take three deep breaths and take the plunge.
  • I walk amongst the strangers in the crowd and I expect to be noticed. I’ve decided not to expect to be or feel lost.
  • I make eye contact with people and smile at them.
  • I say hello to people I have never met before and strike up conversations.  They aren’t always long conversations, just long enough to introduce myself and be friendly and to listen to the other people.  Sometimes they are much longer, it depends on the person of course. Once the conversations start to happen, other people start to talk to me and to each other and before long I am part of the ‘crowd’ and not isolated on the periphery.

Even if being you just says it’s ok to not talk to anyone – which is a good friend of mine’s solution for her fear of crowds.  She’s decided to not push herself and just enjoys watching people. Funny thing is, she reports people come and talk to her.

New for 2013. From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again

I know that I am not alone in feeling alone.  There are other people who are in the same position as me and I make a special effort to speak to them as well and include them in the conversations.  The energy and dynamics of the crowd change visibly and it becomes much more enjoyable.

The most important thing is to find a way to feel comfortable being you whether you decide overcoming the fear by talking to people is your way, or overcoming the fear by giving yourself a break and just allowing others to talk to you is your way. Bottom line, stop pressuring yourself to be like everyone else and just be you.

If you anything resonates with you from the above, I will be delighted to hear from you, please contact me .

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you too.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart
Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk