Is fear real?

The feeling of fear. What is it? Describe it?

When I ask this of myself and others, the replies are the thoughts people have about fear and not a description of the “feeling” of fear.

That is not unexpected, after all it is the left brain’s, rational/analytical job to put into words feelings that arise from somewhere in our bodies, the subconscious.

Instinct, intuition, imagination and everything else that’s in the right brain doesn’t generally speak to us.

The subconscious mind speaks and thinks in pictures, senses and sensations, urges, vibrations, waves, patterns, connections and possibly in other intangible ways.

So when you talk about fear you are actually talking about your thinking.  You are talking about the mind’s attempt to translate your physiological responses through thought and language and how it tries to make rational sense.

I believe your emotions are just that, authentic feelings being expressed in thought.  And fear is just such an emotion.

man in pink dress shirt

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That’s what’s making me think that fear doesn’t really exist in any other dimension of our being.  I believe it is possible that there is no such thing as fear outside of the subconscious mind. That fear is not real. The case has been made in the past that fear is necessary for self-preservation. But is it?

The fight or flight survival response is an occurrence that happens without thought. It really doesn’t have the time to be otherwise.

Look at something you are ‘scared of’, a spider, a bear, a clown. Do you feel fear or are you thinking fear?

If you were to walk around the corner and come face to face with a huge grizzly bear, you would definitely feel something right away.  But is that feeling fear?

If you listen to people who have encountered survival situations, whether they be stopping someone falling off a cliff, ripping the door off a burning car, disarming a man with a knife, they will say their sense in that moment was not fear. They were too busy with their actions.

Fear after the act, yes.

We have all felt that thing that our mind has labelled fear. But is that what it really is?

I don’t think so.

FEAR =

False

Expectations

Appearing

Real

Think about the interview scenario:  You are sitting waiting to go into the room, you think ‘what if there are ten people on the panel’, ‘what if they ask me questions I can’t answer’, ‘what if they are all wearing suits’.

What are you actually afraid of?  You are not afraid of the panel, you are not afraid of the questions, you are not afraid of the suits.  You are not afraid of the reality, but of the negative expectation, or thoughts, of what you imagine might happen next.

But if any of those things did really upset you that much, you would take flight and there really wouldn’t be any thought involved at all.  Your intuition and instinct rule your fight or flight response.  Only 2% of our fears actually occur, the other 98% are just imagined.   Trust in your intuition and don’t let false expectations drive your life.

I would love to hear from you about your experiences.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

 

 

Honouring Life Changes

Anything worth doing will always have some fear attached to it. For example, having a baby, getting married, changing careers, the current lock down, all of these life changes can bring up deep fears. It helps to remember that this type of fear is good. It is your way of questioning whether you really want the life these changes will bring. It is also a potent reminder that releasing and grieving the past is a necessary part of moving into the new.

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Fear has a way of throwing us off balance, making us feel uncertain and insecure, but it is not meant to discourage us. Its purpose is to let us know that we are at the edge of our comfort zone, poised in between the old life and a new one. Whenever we face our fear, we overcome an inner obstacle and move into new and life-enhancing territory, both inside and out. The more we learn to respect and even welcome fear, the more we will be able to hear its wisdom, our innate wisdom that will let us know that the time has come to move forward, or not. While comfort with fear is a contradiction in terms, we can learn to honour our fear, recognising its arrival, listening to its innate intelligence, and respecting it as a harbinger of transformation. Indeed, it informs us that the change we are contemplating is significant, enabling us to approach it with the proper reverence.

You might wish to converse with your fear, plumbing its depths for a greater understanding of the change you are making. You could do this by sitting quietly in meditation and listening or by Writing down whatever comes up in your diary. These could be your worries, your sadness, your excitement, your hopes, and is a great way to learn about yourself through the vehicle of fear and to remember that fear almost always comes alongside anything worth doing in your life.

I would love to hear from you about your experiences.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

Coaching

I know that you want a better understanding of your current situation, to work out what really matters to you in life, to make the choices that are right for you and to discover who you really are?

To do those things you will have to be ready to make some changes, not necessarily huge changes, maybe changing the filling in your sandwich. When you work with me you will learn how to live life like you and not how you think other people want you to be and this will bring you more freedom, more fun and less stress.

Maggie 3-1

Coaching sessions can be done face to face, via phone or Skype but not in these uncertain times. Concentrating on stay well in most important.

I have been to many seminars, courses, retreats, conferences, workshops where it is plainly obvious the people running them are using them to upsell their very much more expensive products. These can often be in the thousands of pounds. Whilst these people give you a glimpse of what they offer  at a free seminar, short course, workshop etc., you never actually get to benefit from it unless you pay out that money. They make no secret of it and they are very successful – for a while.

There is also a lot of bull**** being sold out there that is solely to make money, and is not focused on you.

I offer coaching and mentoring – for you to make changes in your life. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

My qualifications:

My coaching will enable you to see the true power of thought and its relationship to your way of living life so your transformations can begin, and you will better understand yourself and the world in which you live. I will help you get the results you want.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

The wisdom of surrender

Many of us know the feeling of being repeatedly haunted by the same issue, no matter how we try to ignore it, avoid it, or run away from it. Sometimes it seems that we can get rid of something we don’t want by simply pushing it away. But Most of the time, the more we push away, the more we get pushed back. There are laws of physics and metaphysics that explain this phenomenon, which is often summed up in this phrase: That which you resist persists.

monochrome photo of resist signage

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Resistance can strengthen the energies it attempts to oppose by giving them power and energy to work against. And of course resistance keeps us from learning more about what we resist. In order to fully understand something, we must open to it enough to receive its energy; otherwise, we remain ignorant of its lessons. There is a Tibetan story of a monk who retreats to meditate in a cave only to be plagued by demons. He tries everything—chasing, fighting, hiding—to get the demons out of his cave, but the thing that finally works is surrender. He simply lets them have their way with him and only then do they disappear.

Now, this wisdom must be applied practically. We are not meant to get ourselves physically injured. Instead, this story speaks of how, in essence, our demons are inside of us. What plagues and pursues us on an inner level has a way of manifesting itself in our environment in the form of people, events, and issues that appear to be beyond our control. But all these external expressions are reflections of our insides, and it is inside ourselves that we can safely experiment with surrendering to what we fear and dislike. It may feel scary, and we may find ourselves in the company of a lot of resistance as we begin the process of opening to what we fear. But the more we learn to surrender, and the more the demons that plague us disappear in the process, the more courageous we will become.

I would love to hear from you about your experiences.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.u

Clinging to our core

You may have noticed times when your whole world seems to be falling apart around you, and you are not sure what to hold onto anymore.  Sometimes this can be because relationships crumble and sometimes it’s can be the physical environment.  At other times, it is difficult to put a finger on it, but it feels as if all the walls have fallen down around us with nothing to lean on, exposed and vulnerable.  These are the times in our lives when we are given an opportunity to see where we have established our sense of identity, safety, and well-being.  And while it is perfectly natural and part of our process to locate our sense of self in external things, any time those external factors shift, we have an opportunity to rediscover and move closer to our core, which is the only truly safe place we have to call home.

love your life clipboard decor

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The core of our being is not affected by the shifting winds of circumstance or affected by the cycles of change that govern physical reality.  It is as steady and consistent as the sun, which is why the great mystics and mystical poets often reference the sun in their poems to the self. Like the sun, there are times when our core seems to be inaccessible to us, but this is just a misperception. We know that the sun has not disappeared permanently when it goes behind a cloud or sets for the night, it is simply temporarily out of sight. In the same way, we can trust that our inner core is always shining brightly, even when we cannot quite see it.

We can cling to this core when things around us are falling apart, knowing that the light that shines from within ourselves is inexhaustible.  Those times of external darkness can be a great gift in that they provide an opportunity to remember this inner light that shines regardless of the circumstances of our lives. When our external lives begin to come back together, and they will, we are able to lean less heavily on the structures we used to call home, knowing more clearly than ever that our true home is that bright sun shining in our core.

I would love to hear from you about your experiences.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.u

How to survive Valentine’s Day as a single person

Take advantage of you and really look after yourself on this day. Turn the focus of your attention to you. Buy yourself something special, something you will really love and appreciate. It maybe something that you wouldn’t usually think of buying for yourself, but on this occasion it feels right to do it. Here are some more suggestions for you to feel special on this loving day:

  • treat yourself to a day being pampered at the spa.
  • treat yourself to a special meal and enjoy it in the comfort of your own home. It can be a take away delivered to your door.  Use your favourite crockery, buy a bottle of wine and enjoy your chosen feast.
  • watch your favourite film or read a good book.
  • How about you and some of your best friends getting together to watch a few of the worst romantic comedy films you can find.  Have a fun evening with people you love to be with and who love to be with you.
  • Make a Valentine’s Day resolution to love yourself.  Resolve to take some evening classes or to go on that trip you have been promising yourself.  Resolve to try new restaurants or to try new recipes.  Make a resolution that you will make a start towards the dreams you know you want to achieve.
  • If you have children why not make the day special for them as well as you.  Buy some little gifts – chocolates, stuffed toys, model cars etc. – and make a present hunt game with clues, and they can fun trying to find the gifts and you will have fun watching them.
  • chocolates

Whatever it is you choose to do, whether it is on your own, with friends or with your children, make sure it is fun for you.

Do not:

  • Find a stranger to spend the night with.  You will regret it in the morning and make it worse for yourself when the next Valentine’s Day comes around.
  • Watch tv programmes filled with loves stories.
  • Get all dressed up at work as your colleagues will jump to conclusions and make your life a misery all day.
  • Sit at home being miserable and feeling sorry for yourself because you don’t have someone to share this sill day with.
  • Beat yourself up for feeling miserable and lonely.

A great thing to do would be to wait until February 15th and then treat yourself to a heart-shaped box of chocolates at half price, or buy some flowers for yourself for half price.

Remember, it is just one day.  It will all be over in the morning.

Plan your life around yourself and learn to really love yourself again.  This will not only be fun and interesting, but loving yourself is the basis of beginning your new life as the new, confident you.

I would love to hear from you about your experiences.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

Courtesy

We often feel we don’t have the time or energy to offer small gestures that compose what we call common courtesy. It sometimes seems that this kind of social awareness belongs to the past, is unfashionable and seems outdated. Yet, when someone extends this kind of courtesy to us, we always feel touched. Someone who lends a helping hand when we are struggling with our shopping makes an impression because so many people pay no attention.  Even someone who simply makes the effort to look us in the eye, smile, and greet us properly when entering a room stands out of the crowd.  It seems these people carry with them the elegance and grace of another time, and we are always thankful for our contact with them. Common courtesy is a small gesture that makes a big difference.

two woman hugging each other

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An essential component of courtesy is awareness and common sense, looking at others rather than yourself to see when someone needs help or acknowledgment.  As a courteous person, you are aware that you are walking into a room full of people or that your waiter has arrived to take your order.  Then, awareness leads to action. It is usually quite clear what needs to be done, open the door for the woman holding the baby, move your car up two feet so another person can park behind you, acknowledge your sister’s shy boyfriend with a smile and some conversation, saying sorry if you bump into someone.  A third component is to give courtesy freely, without expecting anything in return.  People may not even take notice, much less return the kindness, but you can take heart in the fact that you are creating the kind of world you want to live in with your actions.

When you are out in the world, remember to be aware of others, lend your hand when one is needed, and give this help without an ulterior motive. Through these small actions, you make this world a better place in which to live.

I would love to hear from you about your experiences.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:            hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk