anxiety

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Being fearful by conditioning

We all have fears.  Some of them are passed down from our parents, and some we learn for ourselves.  Parents can condition us unwittingly and unintentionally. We all learn by example. If we really examine our fears about something, we can notice that the fear we have is not based on our own experience at all. We can trace that fear back to its source.  We may find that one of our parents handed it down to us. For example, your mother or father may have had an intense fear of lack of money, stemming from their own life experiences. If that fear was not resolved by the time you came into the picture, chances are you inherited it. Meanwhile, you may have no actual experience of lacking money, so being fearful doesn’t make sense, and it may even block you from doing certain things you want to do. Of course your parents were only trying to protect you, and that most of the errors in judgment they made were made with the best intentions. Now may be the time to release this fear symbolically.

Photo by MART PRODUCTION on Pexels.com

Obviously you cannot resolve someone else’s fear for them, but you can decide to let go of it on your own behalf. Whether your parents are still alive or not, I believe it is best to do this in a symbolic way, using visualisation. One simple visualisation I use, is to imagine you are sitting in a huge comfy chair, and in front of you is a blank wall.  On that wall you will write the name of the fear in great big letters. Now, as you think about releasing this fear, and how you will feel after it has been released, begin to wipe away each letter of the fear one by one.  As you do that and simultaneously think about releasing the fear, that fear is dissolved, for good.  Then you can sit back in your comfy chair and be free of that fear. The more we do this deep inner work with our fears, the better we will be able to parent our own children without burdening them with fears that don’t belong to them. Some of us will do as much of this work as we can before we become parents, while others will be working on this even as our children become adults. Some of us will not begin this work until they retire.  Whenever we undertake it, the effects will be felt, because once we break our ties to the fears of the past, our children’s ties to those fears are greatly weakened, so it’s important to remember that it’s never too late.

Allowing yourself to release your fears is one step in the right direction to lessening the burden on yourself, and will help you to live a more balanced life.  Ask yourself this – Why am I living a life with fears that take up so much of my energy?  Why don’t I release some of these fears so that I can begin to live my life in my own way? Notice how good you feel after you have released some of those inherited fears.

If this has resonated with you get in touch today. Through personalised guidance, I will help you to release those fears so you can create a less fearful life for yourself.

Get in touch today. Email hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Many people don’t realise the importance of working with a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

Get in touch today.

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Sentences to live in your head rent free

Fear doesn’t stop death, it stops life.

If it costs you your peace, it is too expensive.

People only see the decisions you made, not the choices you had.

Never take criticism from somone you wouldn’t take advice from.

The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.

Ships are safe in the harbour, but that’s not what they’re built for.

Ambition without action turns into anxiety.

Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels.com

To live a life most people don’t, you must be willing to do what most people won’t.

You can do anything, but not everything – focus.

If you want to make the wrong decisions, ask everyone.

Those who don’t move won’t notice their chains.

It’s okay to live a life most people don’t understand.

If someone could only see your actions and not hear your words, what would they say your priorities are?

You can’t have a new reality with an old mentality.

No risk, no story.

If this has resonated with you get in touch today. Through personalised guidance, I will help you develop a positive mindset and create lasting changes in your life. What are you not happy with in your life? What are you happy with in your life? Find out how to change some of your habits for a better life.

Get in touch today. Email hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Many people don’t realise the importance of working with a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

Get in touch today.

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Life can be very scary

For those of us who enjoy unexpected thrills, it’s frightening to suddenly find ourselves heading for a deep plunge as life can take us on a roller coaster ride full of highs and lows and twists and turns. Yet, it happens to all of us. At these moments, it is important to remember that you are not alone in your experiences. No matter how brave, strong, or level-headed we are, sometimes, we all get scared.

Photo by Aline Lira on Pexels.com

It might be that our fears revolve around our physical safety, particularly if we are not feeling well, living under difficult circumstances, or doing work that exposes us to hazardous conditions. Or, we may be experiencing financial woes that are causing us to be fearful about making ends meet. We may also fear the loss of a loved one who is sick, or we may be scared of never finding someone special to spend our life with. We may be scared to start at a new school, begin a different job, move to a new town, or meet new people. Whatever our fears are, they are valid, and we do not need to feel ashamed or embarrassed that we are, at times, afraid.

It may be reassuring to know that everyone gets scared, and it is perfectly OK. Sometimes just acknowledging our fears is enough to make us feel better. And while it sometimes takes a lot more to ease our mind, we can console ourselves with the knowledge that life can be scary at times. Giving ourselves permission to be scared lets us move through our fears so we can let it go. It also makes it alright to share our fears with others. Sharing our apprehensions with other people can make our fears less overwhelming because we are not letting them grow inside of us as pent up emotions. Sharing our fears also can lighten our burden because we are not carrying our worries all by ourselves. Remember that you are not alone.

If this has resonated with you get in touch today. Through personalised guidance, I help you develop a positive mindset and create lasting changes in your life. What are you not happy with in your life? What are you happy with in your life? Find out how to change some of your habits for a better life.

Get in touch today. Email hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Many people don’t realise the importance of working with a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

Get in touch today.

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Layers of feelings

Many people, myself included, were taught from a young age to suppress feelings commonly regarded as negative, such as anger, resentment, fear and sorrow. Some of those people who cannot or will not express these emotions have been known to engage in passive-aggressive behaviours that provide them with a means of redirecting their feelings. Passive aggression can take many forms: People who feel guilty saying “no” may continually break their promises because they couldn’t say no when they meant it. Others will substitute snide praise for a slur to distance themselves from the intense emotions they feel. More often than not, such behaviour is a cry for help uttered by those in need of compassion and gentle guidance.



When we recognise passive-aggressive patterns in the behaviour of others, we should not allow ourselves to be drawn into a struggle for power. Passive aggression is most often wielded by those who feel powerless in the face of what they perceive as negative emotions because they hope to avoid confronting their true feelings. They feel they are in control because they do not display overt emotion and maybe cannot understand how they have alienated their peers. If someone close to us shows signs of frustration or annoyance but claims nothing is amiss, we can point out that their tone of voice or gestures are communicating a different message and invite them to confide in us. When we feel slighted by a backhanded compliment, it is important that we calmly explain how the jibe made us feel and why. And when an individual continually breaks their promises, we can help them understand that they are free to say no if they are unwilling to help.

As you learn to detect passive aggression, you may be surprised to see a hint of it in yourself. Coping with the natural human tendency to veil intense emotions can be as simple as reminding yourself that expressing your true feelings is healthy. The emotions typically regarded as negative will frequently be those that inspire you to change yourself and your life for the better, whereas passive-aggressive behaviour is a means of avoiding change. When you deal constructively with your feelings, you can put them behind you and move forward unencumbered by unexplored emotion.

If this has resonated with you in any way, and you would like to explore your confidence, please get in touch. hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk. Work with me, improve your confidence and see how much more you can achieve. Relearn how to live your life in the front row, take control of your own life. 

Work with me, improve your confidence and see how much more you can achieve. Many people don’t realise the importance of securing a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Common Fears

A natural part of being human is having fears.  Everyone has fears and they can protect us from harm by sending a rush of adrenaline to help us physically deal with perceived danger. But there are times when fear may keep us from participating fully in life. Once we realise that fear is a thought, we can choose to face our fears, change our thoughts, and create the life we want to live.



Our minds are powerful tools and like computers they store and use data to make certain connections between thought and response. We have the ability to observe these and choose differently. No matter where the fear came from, we can create new connections by choosing new thoughts. When we choose new thoughts we create a new experience of reality. This journey requires many small steps, as well as patience and courage through the process. Here’s an example: You decide to overcome your fear of driving on the motorway. Your plan of action starts with examining your thoughts and finding a new way of seeing the situation. When you’re ready, you enlist a calm companion to support you as you take the first step of merging into the slow lane and using the first exit. Your heart may be racing, but your confidence will be boosted by the accomplishment. Repeat this until you are comfortable, with or without help, and then drive one exit further. When you are ready, you can try driving in the middle lane, for longer periods each time, until you find yourself going where you want to go. This gradual process is similar for conquering any fear, but if you find it overwhelming, you can always seek the help of a professional.

You may believe that you are the only one with a particular fear, that nobody else could possibly be scared of ordinary things such as water, heights, public speaking, or flying. These types of fears are very common, and you can have great success overcoming them. Remember, it is not the absence of the fear but the courage to take action anyway that determines success. When we learn to face our fears, we learn to observe our thoughts and feelings but not be ruled by them. Instead we choose the thoughts to shape the lives we want.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch. hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk. Work with me, improve your confidence and see how much more you can achieve.

Many people don’t realise the importance of securing a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

When I am asked “. . and what is it you do?” I find it difficult to find a straightforward answer. Through my work I will help you to repair your feelings of weakness, brokenness, unworthiness, ‘unlovedness’, not ‘enoughness’.  Help you heal your inner wounded childhood pain. I will help you reclaim your power, build boundaries, release guilt when you need to energise and nurture yourself.

I take responsibility for my choices, and encourage others to take responsibility for their choices. There are always choices to be made. My clients get the results they want.

My ‘WHY’ is so much bigger than all the reasons for ‘why not’.

Maggie Currie

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Being confident in social situations

If you’ve ever been to a social gathering where you’ve felt awkward and uncomfortable, it is very probable you are not alone. While social gatherings can be very enjoyable, especially when we are surrounded by people whose company we enjoy, there are social events that we attend where we sometimes find ourselves wishing we were somewhere else. Such occasions can be the cause of much anxiety and self-consciousness. We may even feel like everyone else is having a good time except for us. Yet the truth is that everyone has felt shy and awkward on occasion. One of the best ways to overcome self-consciousness or get past your feelings of shyness at social gatherings is to focus on the people around you. If you can remember that other people might also be feeling awkward or shy, you might find the thought of speaking to them less intimidating or overwhelming.



The next time there is a social event you feel nervous about attending, you may want to try this exercise: Spend some time with your eyes closed and breathe deeply. When you feel ready, create your own comfort zone by visualising yourself surrounded in a warm white light that is protective yet accepting of others. Imagine people at the event being drawn to you because of the open and warm feelings that you are radiating. When you arrive at the event, take a moment to spread this same light of loving acceptance to everyone around you. Smile and greet people warmly. Try going up to someone who is standing alone and introduce yourself. When you radiate acceptance, openness, and receptiveness, people can’t help but respond to you in kind.

Focusing on how we can make other people at a social gathering feel at ease can help us forget about our own insecurities. In the process, we end up making the very connections that we seek. The next time you attend a social gathering, invite people to join you in your comfort zone that you have so lovingly and intentionally created. Let yourself enjoy being encircled in the warmth of their friendships.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch. hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk. Work with me, improve your confidence and see how much more you can achieve.

Many people don’t realise the importance of securing a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

When I am asked “. . and what is it you do?” I find it difficult to find a straightforward answer. Through my work I will help you to repair your feelings of weakness, brokenness, unworthiness, ‘unlovedness’, not ‘enoughness’.  Help you heal your inner wounded childhood pain. I will help you reclaim your power, build boundaries, release guilt when you need to energise and nurture yourself.

I take responsibility for my choices, and encourage others to take responsibility for their choices. There are always choices to be made. My clients get the results they want.

My ‘WHY’ is so much bigger than all the reasons for ‘why not’.

Maggie Currie

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Feelings of guilt about being happy

We all deserve happiness in our lives and is an experience we all long for. We may wish for the happiness that comes with a much-needed holiday or an exciting new relationship, yet when the actual experience of happiness emerges, we may be too overcome with guilt to enjoy it. You may find relief in looking at the beliefs you hold about yourself and what it means for you to be happy, If guilt is interfering with your ability to feel joy.

Guilt about feeling happy can pop up for different reasons. Deep down you may believe that you don’t deserve to be happy because you think you hurt someone in the past, perceived you had more than others growing up, or maybe you received a nasty comment from someone you admired. Perhaps it once seemed that painful experiences always followed happy ones; now whenever you begin to feel happy, you find yourself waiting for the other shoe to drop. Happiness may even just feel uncomfortable because you’ve got so used to feeling down. The truth is that when you feel too guilty to let yourself enjoy positive emotions, you are denying a part of yourself that has a right to exist. By limiting your life experience to just the negative feelings, you are cutting yourself off from the fullness of life  which includes all of the positive emotions as well. Fortunately, you can begin to shift the way you respond to happiness even in this moment.

From now on, when you begin to feel happy, try to accept it, relish in it, ask it to stay. It’s okay to feel happy even if you believe you don’t deserve it. Feeling good is an expression of your wholeness and your connection with life. The next time happiness appears for you, try not to feel guilty about it. Instead, welcome your happiness in like a long-awaited friend.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch. I want to work with you so you have more freedom, more fun, less stress.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you. Get in touch today to book your coaching sessions.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Understanding your feelings

When faced with new challenges or opportunities, we may diagnose ourselves as feeling scared when what we are really feeling is excited.  Often we don’t know how to welcome the thrill of a new opportunity, and so we choose to back off, indulging our anxiety instead of awakening our courage. One way to inspire ourselves to embrace the opportunities that come our way is to look more deeply into our feelings and see that butterflies in our stomach or a rapidly beating heart are not necessarily a sign that we are afraid. Those very same feelings can be translated as excitement, curiosity, passion, and even love.

woman covering her face using both hands

Photo by Wildan Zainul Faki on Pexels.com

Of course there is nothing wrong with being afraid as long as we do not let it stop us from doing the things that excite us. Most of us assume that brave people are fearless, but the truth is that they are simply more comfortable with fear because they face it on a regular basis. The more we do this, the more we feel excitement in the face of challenges rather than anxiety. The more we cultivate our ability to move forward instead of backing off, the more we trust ourselves to be able to handle the new opportunity, whether it’s a new job, an exciting move, or a relationship. When we feel our fear, we can remind ourselves that maybe we are actually just excited. We can assure ourselves that this opportunity has come our way because we are meant to take it.

Framing things just a little differently can dramatically shift our mental state from one of resistance to one of openness. We can practice this new way of seeing things by saying aloud: I am really excited about this job interview. I am really looking forward to going on a date with this amazing person. I am excited to have the opportunity to do something I have never done before. As we do this, we will feel our energy shift from fear, which paralyses, to excitement, which empowers us to direct all that energy in the service of moving forward, growing, and learning.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please let me know. I would love to hear from you. I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Is fear real?

The feeling of fear. What is it? Describe it?

When I ask this of myself and others, the replies are the thoughts people have about fear and not a description of the “feeling” of fear.

That is not unexpected, after all it is the left brain’s, rational/analytical job to put into words feelings that arise from somewhere in our bodies, the subconscious.

Instinct, intuition, imagination and everything else that’s in the right brain doesn’t generally speak to us.

The subconscious mind speaks and thinks in pictures, senses and sensations, urges, vibrations, waves, patterns, connections and possibly in other intangible ways.

So when you talk about fear you are actually talking about your thinking.  You are talking about the mind’s attempt to translate your physiological responses through thought and language and how it tries to make rational sense.

I believe your emotions are just that, authentic feelings being expressed in thought.  And fear is just such an emotion.

man in pink dress shirt

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

That’s what’s making me think that fear doesn’t really exist in any other dimension of our being.  I believe it is possible that there is no such thing as fear outside of the subconscious mind. That fear is not real. The case has been made in the past that fear is necessary for self-preservation. But is it?

The fight or flight survival response is an occurrence that happens without thought. It really doesn’t have the time to be otherwise.

Look at something you are ‘scared of’, a spider, a bear, a clown. Do you feel fear or are you thinking fear?

If you were to walk around the corner and come face to face with a huge grizzly bear, you would definitely feel something right away.  But is that feeling fear?

If you listen to people who have encountered survival situations, whether they be stopping someone falling off a cliff, ripping the door off a burning car, disarming a man with a knife, they will say their sense in that moment was not fear. They were too busy with their actions.

Fear after the act, yes.

We have all felt that thing that our mind has labelled fear. But is that what it really is?

I don’t think so.

FEAR =

False

Expectations

Appearing

Real

Think about the interview scenario:  You are sitting waiting to go into the room, you think ‘what if there are ten people on the panel’, ‘what if they ask me questions I can’t answer’, ‘what if they are all wearing suits’.

What are you actually afraid of?  You are not afraid of the panel, you are not afraid of the questions, you are not afraid of the suits.  You are not afraid of the reality, but of the negative expectation, or thoughts, of what you imagine might happen next.

But if any of those things did really upset you that much, you would take flight and there really wouldn’t be any thought involved at all.  Your intuition and instinct rule your fight or flight response.  Only 2% of our fears actually occur, the other 98% are just imagined.   Trust in your intuition and don’t let false expectations drive your life.

I would love to hear from you about your experiences.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

 

 

 

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Honouring Life Changes

Anything worth doing will always have some fear attached to it. For example, having a baby, getting married, changing careers, the current lock down, all of these life changes can bring up deep fears. It helps to remember that this type of fear is good. It is your way of questioning whether you really want the life these changes will bring. It is also a potent reminder that releasing and grieving the past is a necessary part of moving into the new.

person in coveralls holding spray bottle

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Fear has a way of throwing us off balance, making us feel uncertain and insecure, but it is not meant to discourage us. Its purpose is to let us know that we are at the edge of our comfort zone, poised in between the old life and a new one. Whenever we face our fear, we overcome an inner obstacle and move into new and life-enhancing territory, both inside and out. The more we learn to respect and even welcome fear, the more we will be able to hear its wisdom, our innate wisdom that will let us know that the time has come to move forward, or not. While comfort with fear is a contradiction in terms, we can learn to honour our fear, recognising its arrival, listening to its innate intelligence, and respecting it as a harbinger of transformation. Indeed, it informs us that the change we are contemplating is significant, enabling us to approach it with the proper reverence.

You might wish to converse with your fear, plumbing its depths for a greater understanding of the change you are making. You could do this by sitting quietly in meditation and listening or by Writing down whatever comes up in your diary. These could be your worries, your sadness, your excitement, your hopes, and is a great way to learn about yourself through the vehicle of fear and to remember that fear almost always comes alongside anything worth doing in your life.

I would love to hear from you about your experiences.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

maggieheart

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk