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Are you holding on to things you ‘should’ do?

A lot of people carry around with them a lot of “baggage” or “clutter” in their minds. When I say this I mean that they are still holding onto things that they say they ‘should’ do, but  they really don’t need to – For instance, the person who they had a row with, but both are not speaking to each other – but both want to. SO who will make the first move? ‘Should’ it be me or ‘should’ it be them?

The ‘coulds’ and ‘shoulds’ in your life that hold you back – you want to let go, but you don’t.

This is very common going through or after divorce.  You are not alone, I have done it myself.

Are you carrying around with you a lot of emotional attention that you could be doing without and focusing on something more productive instead?

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Are you like this?  If you are, I bet it has a negative influence on your confidence and self esteem.

Take a look at your life and get rid of this baggage by asking yourself some questions and by completing the following exercise.  In effect, what you are doing is making certain tasks “complete”, drawing a line under them and moving on.

Another term for this is “psychological completion” or just “completion”.

Answer the questions all in one go if you like, or over a number of hours/days. By writing the answers down they become more formal.

Get to it and watch your confidence soar!

  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with at home
  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with at work
  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with in any other areas of your life

 Create an action plan to get rid of/communicate these things that you have been putting up with. Take action!

  • Make a list of things that are unresolved/unfinished in your life.

Create an action plan of how to reduce this number! Take action!

  • Do you need to clear the air with anyone? If so, just do it! Life is too short!
  • Did you ever say that you were going to call someone or keep in touch with someone yet have done nothing about it? If yes, call them or send an email to them today

Let go of as many coulds, woulds, shoulds, maybes, oughts as you can. Take action!

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By completing these exercises you will be able to focus more on the here, the now and the future. You will now be able to let go of some of the things that have been taking up your valuable attention units – those things that knock your self esteem.

If this hits home to you then please feel free to contact me. You are not alone. I would love to talk with you and help you to learn how to be more confident in yourself. As we all know, life is a school and we are constantly learning. 

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves so that they can have more fun, live a better life and enjoy their work. Get in touch today for a free informal chat on how I can help you.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

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Do you have feelings of inadequacy? I know I do.

Sometimes I have feelings of inadequacy and of not being good enough. I am not sure where they come from, but I sometimes wake up feeling that way.

I remember one occasion, I went to a breakfast business networking meeting, one I go to every Thursday morning at 7am, which means getting up at 5am to be showered and dressed ready to set off for business by 6.15am at the latest. Then a 10 mile drive.

Usually these meetings are full of energy and fun and are a pleasure to be at, but on this day it was a little different. One of our members had split with her significant other and moved off the Island and is now living with her parents on the mainland. This person will be sadly missed as she is vibrant, honest, straight talking and fun. So there was an air of sadness that she had suddenly gone. There were also some people there who were revelling in this news and making stupid comments, which I tried to ignore, as they were so unnecessary, and I thought it was shameful. I said nothing as I didn’t want to get into a stupid argument.

When the meeting finished I took some items to the DHL drop point to send around the world, as I do several times a week with my secretarial business. This should have taken about twenty minutes but ended up taking nearly an hour because the computer system wouldn’t let them put in the address and postcode I had for one item going to China, and a call to the helpdesk was needed, and this took forever. The lady who served me is also one of those people I try to avoid as she drains all the energy from me and is very critical of everyone and every thing. So instead of getting back to my office by 9am to get stuck into my work, I didn’t get back until nearly 10.30 and then I was all behind and annoyed that things didn’t work out.

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I sat and thought about what it was that was making me feel inadequate. Not the fact that I was late getting back to the office. Not the fact that we had lost a great member of our networking group. So what was it? And then it came to me. The night before I had been talking on a fabulous phone call with two other coaches. The creativity and ideas were flowing from them, and what brilliant ideas they were. I am in awe of their power to think these things through so easily and clearly. So, I believe that I was feeling inadequate because I had absolutely nothing to add to these two brilliant coaches’ thoughts and ideas. They had done their homework fantastically and presented their ideas and innovations in clear and concise ways, and they were great ideas and I know they will work.

I feel that my strengths lie elsewhere, but at that particular moment I wasn’t sure where. I hate feeling this way and it makes me really upset to think this way. I know that I am a brilliant coach and that I do make a huge difference to people’s lives and that I will continue to do so. Having written all this I felt much better and know that I have a lot to offer but not necessarily in the same way as other people. I also know that I should not compare myself to other people, that is definitely a confidence killer.

Your life does not resemble anybody else's

So, to re-boot my confidence I have written a list of my creativity and innovativity (is that a word?) and here is the list I have come up with:

My creativity

  • Superb coach
  • Brilliant cook
  • Expert typist – Can set out a document by eye, and it will look great on the page.
  • Brilliant writer and author
  • Fabulously intuitive
  • Do my accounts satisfactorily
  • Create a good workspace
  • Create opportunities for clients
  • Create opportunities to get clients
  • Great supporter
  • Impactful
  • Great teacher
  • Create achievable goals for my clients and for myself

My Innovativity

  • Build relationships online and in person
  • Think up new ways for my clients to succeed
  • Find new ways for me to succeed
  • Lead by example
  • Positive and encouraging to all
  • Hear beyond the words

If this hits home to you then please feel free to contact me. You are not alone. I would love to talk with you and help you to learn how to be more confident in yourself. As we all know, life is a school and we are constantly learning. I really do look forward to hearing from you with your lists of creativity and innovativity.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves so that they can have more fun, live a better life and enjoy their work. Get in touch today for a free informal chat on how I can help you.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

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Your actions do make a difference

I have been working with a client for the past 6 months, and it has been amazing to watch her change and grow as a person.  

I am so pleased that she is so much more aware of her own actions and how she ‘reacts’ to situations. She now realises it is better to step back and view the situation from the metaphorical distance and respond from her intuition rather than allowing her ego to react.

This is the wonderful testimonial my client gave me:

“The ride has been awesome…the support you gave me while I was driving at the wheel of my life and you were sitting in the passenger seat guiding, encouraging, and supporting me was fantastic and I so appreciate that.”

Your life does not resemble anybody else's

I learned about myself too whilst coaching, as all my clients teach me something new. It is so wonderful to be able to learn and teach and be open to learning more and more. The learning helps me to keep my ego in check and allows me to follow my intuition, and that never lets me down.

I have learned from my clients, my fellow coaches, friends etc., that when we neglect to recycle, speak up, vote or help somebody in immediate need, we deny ourselves the chance to make positive change.

By holding on to the belief that our actions don’t make much of a difference, we tend to ignore opportunities for involvement. Alternatively, when we see ourselves as important participants in our  ever-evolving world, we feel inspired to contribute our unique perspective and gifts to a situation.

‘Get back to me retreat’ Friday March 15th to Sunday March 17th 2013

Our actions do make a difference in this world, it is up to us to make sure it is a positive difference. Do you have a vision for the future?  What actions will you take to reach that vision?

Do you want to remain stuck and miserable? If your answer is no, start coaching with me today. 

Get in touch today and we can have a free informal chat on how I can help you to take action and achieve your goals.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

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Looking at your values

Our values are often inherited from our parents, and they inherited them from their parents.  But are they relevant to us now?  There are many reasons why values change, sometimes they just don’t fit right.
I admire people for different reasons. for instance:
  • Rafael Nadal for his focus, hard work, talent.
  • Oprah because she is self-made, courageous, giving.
  • Mother Teresa for being selfless, courageous, honest, generous.
  • My dad (no longer with us) because he was true to himself, honest, kind, generous, loving.
  • My husband for being caring, loving, generous, selfless, hard working.

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There are some values that appear in several of those people and my values incorporate all of those and of course others. For instance one of my values is to be consistent in my life, whether it be working, relaxing or whatever.

Values will always changes as we progress through life. We will meet more people who we admire and perhaps some of the people we currently admire will change their values, and we won’t agree with them.

 Values change as our circumstances change, i.e. going through divorce and in the aftermath.  Now we have to focus on ourselves and not on making a marriage work.
I like to keep an open mind and check in with myself every so often to make sure I keep my values true to me.
Are there any values you have now that are not fitting right? Check in with yourself to make sure your values are true to you.

Get in touch today and we can have a free informal chat on how I can help you to take action and rediscover your values.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

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Time for action!

As a very busy coach I am lucky enough to be in a position where, on a daily basis, the fascinating people I work with tell me all about their big dreams, grand plans and compelling goals.  Dreams, plans and goals that they have possibly never shared with  another living soul.  And I can tell you that there are some amazing potential futures out there for these people!

So what will be the deciding factor as to whether these big dreams remain as dreams or become a wonderful and vibrant reality?  A few words come to mind – clarity, vision, belief, motivation, support – all play a part.  But the deciding factor in every case is – will this person take action?  Will they act upon what they want and work towards making it happen?

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All too often people don’t realise their ambitions and make their dreams a reality because their aspirations remain as something that they think about, rather than something that they do or create.  Having put all that effort into the thinking, dreaming and planning they find reasons not to do anything about it. And the fail to write them down.  Only when the dreams and aspirations are written down do they become goals.

Interestingly, the most common reason that I hear for inaction is ‘no time’.  How often do you hear people say “If only I had the time”? We all have the same number of hours in a day, it is how we manage those hours that makes the difference.

There is such a time-poor mentality around these days that we often appear to believe we have run out of time, or that there is literally none to spare because it’s already been spent on the other stuff in our lives.  Time is ‘taken up’ by so many things that  when it comes to the big goals and ambitions that require action, we don’t feel we have any left.

Added to that, the nature of some of these wonderful dreams that people have (eg. retraining for a new career) mean that they can take a certain amount of time to come to fruition, and there can be a sense of “but it would just take so long!”.

The thing is though time is passing anyway.  Regardless of whether we take action, use it constructively and make it count, it is going by at the same rate.  The real key to success is to decide to use it in the best way possible for what is most important to us.

We allow so many less important things to drain our time when we could choose at any moment to use it in a better way, in such a way that we make progress and start heading towards where we want to be.  So that in a year or two years time, we’ll be in a different place to the place we’re in now.  Well on our way to one of those compelling potential futures.  Or perhaps by that time it will be our reality?

Is it time for you to take action?

Your life does not resemble anybody else's

Do you have a dream or an ambition in which you’ve invested lots of thinking and planning time, but haven’t taken action on?  If so, keep reading!

Ask yourself:

  • What needs to happen for me to achieve this?  What are all the steps?
  • What is stopping me from taking action?  How long will I allow these things to stop me?
  • What is the one thing I could do in the next 24 hours to know that I have started taking action?
  • Will you do it?

Get in touch today and we can have a free informal chat on how I can help you to take action and achieve your goals.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

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You are great!

One of the most well known confidence building exercises is to list your own strengths and natural abilities. Be totally honest with yourself, blow your own trumpet where it needs to be blown, write down as many as you can.  By looking at the list you have created you will see how much talent you have, and it will make you say “Wow, I really am good!”

Another great way of building your confidence and getting in touch with how great you really are is to ask your friends,  your colleagues, your family and other people who know you for feedback on your strengths and natural abilities.

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As a practical exercise list 5 people who you know and trust.  Make sure they are from different areas of your life.

List them:

  • A family member
  • A friend
  • A work colleague
  • An associate
  • A social contact

You might at this stage be feeling a little nervous about asking these people for feedback, and that is quite natural.  Don’t worry though, because you will be only asking for your strengths.

Just go for it!

So, how do you go about it? Well, below are some questions that I’d like you to ask to each person on your list.

I recommend that you explain the context of the exercise however you feel is best, so they can understand why you are asking, and then email them the questions so they can email their feedback to you.

  1. What do you perceive to be my greatest strengths?
  2. What do you like most about me?
  3. What do you value most about me?
  4. What three words sum up the positive points about me?
  5. If you needed help with something, what would you call me to help you with?

They will feel honoured that you have asked them and the feedback that you will receive will truly make you feel fabulous and full of confidence. Rightly or wrongly, we live in a society where other peoples’ opinions affect our self esteem and confidence. By completing this exercise you will get some really good insight into some of your strengths.

Often you receive valuable information on the strengths that you didn’t even know you had!

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After you have received all of the feedback you can reflect on what has been written or said:

  • How do you feel about it?
  • Are there any surprises?
  • Do you feel confident about your abilities?
  • How can you use this information going forward?
  • How can you maximise your strengths?

If all people you have asked think you have these strengths, so do a lot of other people as well – how does that make you feel?

  • What are the key insights you have learned?
  • What will you do now that is different from what you have done before?

You really are great, and I know you can be even greater with my help. Get intouch today and we can have a free informal chat on how I can help you.

 

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

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Who were your teachers and who are your teachers now?

We learn all the time through various means, at school, college, university, from neighbours, friends, relatives etc.  Are you aware of who your teachers have been over the years and who they are now?
My teachers have been my parents, my primary school teachers, my senior school teachers, college tutors, my cousins, my children, my grandchildren, colleagues, my friends, my mother-in-law, my husband, myself and strangers. My teachers now are many and varied, from shop assistants to celebrities.  I am learning something new every day from so many different sources.
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I was taught by my parents and my teachers that I was average, that I would never amount to anything. This is not a lesson I want to keep because I am not, never have been and never will be average. I am unique and I may not know the same things that so called clever people know, but what I do know is just as valuable. And I add to my knowledge daily.

I was taught by my college tutors that I should follow the rules. This is not a lesson I want to keep because not all rules should be followed. There are some that must be followed and there are some that should be bent a little, and some that should be ignored completely. It is all dependent upon the situation and the rule. I never advocate breaking the law.

I was taught by my husband and three children that love is unconditional for them. That is a lesson I am keeping because no matter what I love them all unconditionally.

I have been taught by my grandchildren that they are more intelligent than their previous generations and that they will be going places when they are old enough. This is a lesson I want to keep and I want to watch them do just that.

I was taught by my mother-in-law that we are on this earth to help people. This is a lesson definitely to keep because that is what I want to do above all else, and I am doing.  Helping people, everywhere.

I was taught by myself that I can do more than I originally thought was possible to do. This is definitely another lesson I want to keep and expand upon. As I said previously, I learn something new every day.

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I have learned and am still learning that there is so much more to learn and that life is a school. This lesson will be staying for the rest of my life.

Think about who has taught you over the years, what you have learned and how valuable it is you.  Think about who your teachers are now. Never stop learning.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

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My seminar – what a blast!

On Monday of this week I held a free seminar all about how to have a stress free Christmas.  The people who attended enjoyed it, found it interesting and gave me some wonderful feedback.

I was quite nervous, as I so wanted to get across my main message about having ‘the conversation’ with people to let them know what you are planning for you Christmas, whether that is being at home with your partner, going away to an hotel, inviting people to come to you for Christmas Day but to bring a plate of delicious food with them to add to the plates being brought by others to make a wonderful buffet for everyone.

There were, of course, some people who said they were going to attend who then couldn’t.  So the audience was quite small.  I started on time and made a mistake straight away.  I had been chewing some gum to keep my mouth moist and completely forgot to take it out before beginning my talk.  So there I was, trying not to chew away, but of course not succeeding.

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I went through how people can cook whatever they would like for Christmas dinner.  That could be roast turkey with all the trimmings or shepherds pie or sausage and mash.  Whatever it is that makes you happy.

I mentioned how we learn much our behaviour at Christmas from our parents.  How conditioning may not be intentional but how it works very well.  How your extended family may not want to be dragged away from their newly opened presents to come to you for Christmas, but don’t know how to tell you for fear of offending you.

I told the audience how the subconscious mind stores all your habits and all the stuff we use every day without even thinking.  How we drive our cars without giving a second conscious thought to the process.

The fact that the fear of doing something is often so much worse than actually doing it.  And how to combat those fears.  How our ‘chatterbox’ runs our lives by constantly telling us how we can’t do this, or that.

Festive Woman in Red Santa Hat

I gave examples of my own fears and how I overcame them.

To do lists can be very, very long, and I gave some ideas of how to delegate, dump or simplify the to do list to reduce stress. How my friend had decided a couple of years ago to spend her Christmas day on her own, reading and watching television.  How she didn’t want the traditional Christmas dinner and cooked herself poached eggs on toast and loved it.

I gave suggestions of how to spread the cost of present buying over the year, or getting good deals online.  How people could volunteer to help out the Salvation Army on Christmas Day if they found themselves to be alone but really didn’t want to be.

There was of course lots more, and it all went down very well indeed I thought.  Below is some of the feedback I received:

“Helpful. Made a list as went along. Has made me determined to face some tough decisions.”

“Very helpful. Thank you.”

“I really enjoyed this. I had a stressful day at work today, and a lot of what you said made me think about this situation and I can use a lot of it.”

“Useful advice re ‘The Conversation’. Topic that everyone can relate to and has experienced.”

“Some useful tips on how to prepare for Christmas. Thank you.”

‘I really enjoyed last night, it all made sense, I plan to have the conversation at the weekend.’

I am planning to record the seminar as an audio file with the slides for those people who couldn’t make it and who would still like to listen. Let me know if you would like to download it for yourself.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Rationalising my time spent volunteering and looking after myself first

I took a long look at the time I was spending volunteering in various roles, and it was adding up to many hours each month.  I volunteer as resident Life Coach on Calder’s Confessions radio programme, read the news at the weekends for Vectis Radio, currently Chair of the Isle of Wight Independent Advisory Group for the Hampshire & Isle of Wight Constabulary.  All these roles take up my time and making a decision on which one, if any, to let go was very hard.

I weighed up how much time was spent each month on these activities, what I achieved in each role and whether I felt it advantageous for me to carry on with it.

For instance, to make a single recording of the weekly radio programme with Calder Jon, Calder’s Confessions, involves a two hour round trip in my car, reading and understanding the various problems people have written in and, of course, recording our responses.  All in all, it takes up half of my working day each week, which amounts to two whole days in a month.

I made the decision, after a lot of thought and consideration, to resign as the resident Life Coach, and reluctantly let Calder know.  He was absolutely understanding about it, and we parted on very good terms.  I am sure he will carry on as usual, and I wish him every success for the future.

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So having made this decision, what will I do with this reclaimed time of mine? I am going to work harder on my business and even harder with my clients to ensure they become the very best versions of themselves.

I am having a new leaflet designed by a professional graphic designer.  Finding the text and sorting out pictures will be fun, even if it is time consuming.  I am also having a new photo done with a professional photographer.  All this is so exciting, and I am curious to see the end results and to hand out my new leaflet to people.

Having the time to devote to this project is invaluable to me, and will, I hope, be a good aid when I am talking to new and prospective clients.

Why do women stay in abusive relationships?

I have created the opportunity for myself to improve my service to my clients, to improve my learning and coaching skills, to manage my time, to work more closely with my own coach and to make the balance between work and recreation more even and reduce stress and of course costs in travelling. The future is looking really good for me.

I made the decision for me, about me and without guilt.  I am practising what I advise my own clients: Look after yourself first, it is not selfish it is essential.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you. Contact me today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Are you holding on to things you ‘should’ do?

A lot of people carry around with them a huge amount of “baggage” or “clutter” in their minds. When I say this I mean that they are still holding onto things that they say they ‘should’ do, but  they really don’t need to.

There are many ‘coulds’ and ‘shoulds’ in your life that hold you back – you want to let go, but for some reason you don’t.

This is very common in several areas of life, in particular going through or after divorce.  You are not alone, I am guilty of doing it myself.

Are you carrying around with you a lot of emotional attention that you could be doing without rather than focusing on something more productive instead?

If you are, I bet it is having a negative influence on your confidence and self esteem.

Stressed Businesswoman

Take a look at your life, be honest with yourself and begin to get rid of this baggage, bit by bit, by asking yourself some questions and by completing the following exercise.  In effect, what you are doing is making certain tasks “complete”, drawing a line under them and moving on.

Answer the following questions honestly.  You can do it all in one go or do it over a period of days.  By writing your answers down they become more real and the changes more attainable.

Get to it and over a short space of time you will notice your confidence soar!

  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with at home
  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with at work
  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with in any other areas of your life

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 Make an action plan to make changes in your behaviour or communicate to the person involved in these things that you have been putting up with how you would like them to change their behaviour. Take action!

  • Make a list of things that are unresolved/unfinished in your life.

Make an action plan of how you are going to make some changes to reduce this number! Take action!

  • Do you need to clear the air with anyone? If so, just do it! Life is too short!
  • Did you ever say that you were going to call someone or keep in touch with someone yet have done nothing about it? If yes, call them or send an email to them today

Let go of as many coulds, woulds, shoulds, maybes, oughts as you can. Take action!

By completing these exercises you will be able to focus more on the here, the now and the future. You will now be able to let go of some of the things that have been taking up your valuable attention – those things that knock your self esteem. And you will definitely notice the results in the way you are more confident and more aware of what you will tolerate in your life.

Many of my clients find simple strategies to recognise their daily achievements and spur themselves on to greater success! What are yours going to be?

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you. Contact me today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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