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How to really experience ‘happiness’

Do you really know what will it take to make you happy?

Think about it and see if you can discover what it will take for you to be happy?

  • Will being in a relationship, or with the right boyfriend/girlfriend make you happy?
  • Will being married make you happy?
  • Will having a million pounds make you happy?
  • Will being successful make you happy?
  • Will having better health make you happy?
  • Will getting a new job make you happy?
  • Will having a great career make you happy?

If you think the answer is yes to any, or all, of the above questions, you’ll never find happiness!

Surprised? Well don’t be. The truth is nothing can make you happy. Happiness is something we feel, not something we can find.

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Being happy doesn’t depend on a particular outcome or something happening to you. There isn’t somewhere you can go and find happiness sitting there waiting for you.

Advertising of all sorts is designed to make you think that a new car, a particular skin cream, a new outfit, some new shoes, a drink or a new diet will make you happy, but that is simply not true. Nothing can make you happy because happiness is a feeling. Happiness is something you experience.

If you want to be happy, then be happy. Most people don’t choose to be happy because they spend most of their time focusing on what they perceive is wrong with their life.

Think about it, you can’t be happy doing something that you don’t like. If you don’t believe me try it. Try doing something you despise and see if you can be happy at the same time. Trust me, you won’t be happy doing something you don’t enjoy!

You also can’t do something you really enjoy and be sad or angry. Don’t believe me? Try it. See what happens. Go and try doing something you really enjoy and see if you’re angry or miserable at the same time. That really doesn’t work.

Unfortunately, people believe they can be happy when they achieve a particular goal and make the mistake of chasing that goal in order to be happy. It’s really not achieving the goal that makes them happy. It’s the feeling of achieving the goal that provides another feeling, satisfaction perhaps,  that is mistaken for happiness.

This mistake is quite common, because it’s not security or peace of mind that makes you happy. You experience happiness when you do what you enjoy and when you focus on the positive things taking place in your life. If you’re not doing that then you can never be happy.  Don’t think that you can be happy just by having something.

You can experience happiness by achieving your particular goal,  by doing what you enjoy, having fun while achieving your goals and choosing the right goals, the kind that allow you to be happy all the time.  Focus on what you want.

Start doing the things that you enjoy. Look at the positive things that are going on in your life. Direct your mind and subconscious mind to help you experience happiness every day. This will start once you begin to appreciate the good things in your life.

 Your life does not resemble anybody else's

Okay so how can you begin to be happy? It’s really quite simple, all you have to do is shift your focus.

Instead of looking at all that you perceive is wrong with your life, instead of looking at what you don’t like about yourself or your life; instead of constantly criticising; change your focus. Start appreciating all that is good in your life.

Make a list if you want and write out all of the positive things in your life. Usually someone will say: “Maggie, I can’t think of anything positive or good in my life. I just want to be happy.” That’s only because they are not seeing all the positive things in your life.  And so you’ll never be happy.

Every day there are wonderful things taking place in your life, yet you fail to observe and recognise them. You tend to take them for granted.  This can be anything – a hot  meal, a wonderful spouse, family, a beautiful flower, lambs playing in a field –  If you have a roof over your head, that’s a positive aspect of your life.

Start looking at all of the great and terrific things that are going on in your life and you’ll begin to experience happiness on a deeper level. You can begin to improve or change the areas that you are not happy with but at the same time you should acknowledge the good things that are going on in your life.

Your mind is used to only paying attention to what is going wrong, and in the process it directs the subconscious mind to continue creating more of those things that are going wrong. You actually create more of what makes you unhappy.

Why? Because your subconscious creates what you regularly think about. So if you don’t regularly focus on the positive things you won’t create positive situations in your life.

And here’s where it gets worse.  When you constantly focus on what is wrong with your life, when you only think about and see what is wrong in your life your subconscious begins to create more of what is wrong or more of what you don’t want because it thinks that you want more.

Now you know why it can be so difficult for some people to truly experience happiness, it’s because they’re used to focusing on the negative aspects of life and in the end continue to create more of what they don’t want.

In order to change all of this you have to begin training the mind and re-directing the subconscious mind to begin creating what you want in life and to focus on the good things that are taking place in your life.

Begin experiencing happiness by changing your focus. Everyday think of the positive things that are going on in your life. Make a list of all the wonderful things that are taking place in your life.

Think of at least 3 great things that happened to you they can be small or large – but just appreciate 3 good things that happened during the day. Focus on the positive.
Direct your mind and subconscious mind by changing your perspective so you experience happiness everyday

Too often I hear from people who simply want to be happy but when I ask them what they do for fun they say: “Nothing.” No wonder you’re not happy. How can you be happy if you’re never having fun in life?

If you want to experience happiness then start doing things that you enjoy.  You may like gardening; you may like hang gliding, you may like riding your bike, you may enjoy going for long walks, you may enjoy acting like a 5-year old – whatever it is start doing it and see how great you feel.

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But there is one catch when you’re doing what you enjoy, you can only focus on that and not think about anything else that may be bothering you. That’s the only way you’ll truly enjoy the activity and begin to experience happiness.

As adults we get bogged down with the everyday tasks that force us to be serious. We have jobs where we’re serious, bills to pay, food to prepare, children to look after, it’s all too serious and it is necessary. I’m not suggesting you ignore your responsibilities – but take some time just to have some fun.

Now you can’t just have fun once a week or once a month. You have to do this every day. That means every day you have to find something fun to do, and only then will you get comfortable and used to the process to the point where you regularly experience happiness. Once you start doing this you’ll enjoy it so much you’ll wonder why you never did this to begin with.

If you don’t feel you have the time to have fun and enjoy your life then you’re really saying that your happiness is not important enough. Only when you decide to be happy will you truly begin to experience happiness. You can work with the techniques I’ve outlined – they will help you get started. But you will need to train your mind and subconscious mind to begin seeing and living in a different way.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Confidence sapping friends and colleagues

The people with whom you have the most contact and hang around will have either a positive or negative effect on your levels of self-esteem and confidence.  We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around.

How do they make you feel?

Yes, they make you feel the same!  They put zest into a boring atmosphere and fill the room with positive, can do vibes that has a knock on effect onto everyone else.

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We also know of those people who could moan for England!

According to them, they never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – need I go on?

These people drain your energy and bring you down to their level, a million miles away from the level that YOU want to be operating on.

Family members can be a lot like this as well, but you can always choose your friends, you can never choose your relatives!

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So what can you do to make sure that the people who you hang around with empower and support what you stand for, rather than bring you down all of the time?

You have the power to choose who you hang around with. Ideally you want happy, vibrant and positive people.

If you have good friends who are negative and yet you still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how you feel – if they are a true friend they will respect you for this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.

The same can be said with family. Your more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years and years and from different eras. Appreciate where they have come from and as in number 2 above, elicit and select the information that filters through to your brain.

Remember,  that nothing has meaning in life except the meaning that you give it.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.

I have some availability for new coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates for when you want to get started.  Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Looking beyond appearances

It is natural to judge people, and yourself, since it just happens without us even thinking about it.  We take one look and in 2 seconds summarise our opinion of a whole person – overweight, pretty, stylish, sloppy. This habit comes from the brain’s need to categorise the world in order to be able to function without becoming overwhelmed.  

 Judging is your way of identifying relevant information, you are trying to decide if the person approaching is a threat, a friend or someone you don’t need to worry about.  This way of looking at people makes sense in a dangerous context, but in your daily life it can lead to an overly simplistic reading of the people you meet.

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If you have ever judged someone dismissively, only to have them become a good friend once you really got to know them, then you will understand the hazards of the judgement cycle. An experience like that may lead you to question your natural tendency to believe your first impressions.  

 You will always notice things about the different people you meet, but as you become more conscious of the idiosyncrasies of judgement, you won’t be satisfied with your surface observations.  You  may notice that someone is driving an expensive car, but you will decide whether to befriend them based on getting to know them over time. You will not rule out a friendship with someone with unruly hair, especially if they turn out to have a great sense of humour and a kind heart.  Liking or disliking a person is a choice you will naturally make, but it will be after you have got to know them. 

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Next time you notice yourself judging somebody, stop.  Try to radiate love to that person. Then listen to them openly or look them in the eye and learn more about them. If this is not easy for you, remember not to judge yourself either. Trust that, with practice, you will change your habitual judgemental patterns.  And as you do, you will find a whole new dimension of perception opening up to you, allowing you to see beyond the surface and into the essence of people you meet.

If you need help with any of the above, please contact me.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.

I have some availability for new coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates for when you want to get started.  Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Whatever we believe becomes our reality

We tend to ignore information that we think is inconsistent with our reality. Successful people absolutely believe that they have the ability to succeed. They do not think or talk about the possibilities of failing. They do not even consider the possibility of failure.

We usually act in a manner consistent with our beliefs. The most important belief system we can build is one where we absolutely believe that we are going succeed. This is called positive thinking, confirming our reality that we absolutely know that no matter what, we will be successful.

Often positive thinking is difficult because our parents or guardians only gave love and approval to their children when they did something that they wanted them to do.  If we grew up with this kind of conditional love we will inevitably tend to seek unconditional approval from others.  When we become adults, this need for approval from the parent is transferred to the workplace and to our boss or workmates. We can become preoccupied with the opinion of the boss and some totally imagined high standard.

 

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If we can change the way we think about ourselves and our potential, we can open new doors to unlimited possibilities and point ourselves in the right direction to a better, more fulfilling professional and personal life.  We should not think about what other people think of us, but we should concentrate on what we want and adjust our thinking so that we will achieve it. 

To begin to change the way we think about ourselves, we need to stimulate our imaginations.  This can be done by writing down a clear and detailed description of our ideal outcome.  We must be absolutely clear about the outcome, but we must also be flexible about the process of achieving it. 

There is a method you can use to see yourself having achieved your outcome.  It is called the ‘Hindsight Tool’.  It works like this:  

  • Think about the outcome you want, visualise yourself as having achieved it.

  • Then use the ‘hindsight tool’  – In your mind imagine yourself in, say, five years’ time, picture yourself being the successful person you want to be. How would you look? What would you be wearing? What would you be saying or doing?  Who would be around you, who wouldn’t be around you? Where would you be?

  • Then, turn round and look back to the present and see what course and actions you took, what mistakes you may have made and how you corrected them.

Your life does not resemble anybody else's

It may be that the outcome you imagined is not exactly what you hoped for.  That is fine and very normal.  Re-think your outcome and do the process over again.  You can do this many times until you get the outcome you want.  Then put it all into practice.

If you need help with any of the above, contact me.  

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.

I have some availability for new coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates for when you want to get started.  Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Your Ideal Self and Life

Your self-concept is made up of various parts, each of which affects each of the others. Understanding these parts enables you to become nearer to your ideal self.  When you learn to take charge of the development of a new and positive self-concept, you can then control your destiny for the rest of your life.

The first part of the self-concept is your “self-ideal.”  Your self-ideal largely determines the direction in which you are going with your life. It guides the growth and evolution of your character and personality.  Your self-ideal is a combination of all of the qualities and attributes of other people that you most admire.  Your self-ideal is a description of the person you would very much like to be if you could embody the qualities that you most aspire to.

 

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Throughout your life, you have seen and read about the qualities of courage, confidence, compassion, love, fortitude, perseverance, patience, forgiveness and integrity.  Over time, these qualities have instilled in you an ideal to which you aspire. You might not always live up to the very best that you know, but you are constantly striving to be a better person in light of those qualities that you value so highly.  In fact, everything that you do on a day-to-day basis is affected by your comparing your activities with these ideal qualities and your striving to behave consistently with them.

Successful people have very clear ideals for themselves.  Unsuccessful people have fuzzy ideals.  Successful people are very clear about being excellent in every part of their work and their personal lives.  Unsuccessful people don’t give the subject very much thought.  One of the primary characteristics of successful men and women in every walk of life is that they have very clearly defined ideals, and they are very aware of whether or not their current behaviours are consistent with their idealized behaviours.

Part of your ideals are your goals.  As you set higher and more challenging goals, your self-ideal improves and crystallizes.  When you set goals for the kind of person you want to be and the kind of life you want to live, your self-ideal rises and becomes a greater guiding and motivating force in your life.

Perhaps the most important thing for you to realise  is that whatever anybody else has done or become, you can do or become as well.  Improvements in your self-ideal begin in your imagination where there are no limits except the ones that you accept.

What is your ideal vision of the very best person you could possibly become?  How would you behave each day if you were already that person?  Make a picture in your mind of how you would look and stand, how you would appear to other people.  Asking yourself these questions and then living your life consistent with the answers is the first step to creating yourself in your ideal image.

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 Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

  • Dream big dreams – Set big, exciting, challenging goals and ideals for yourself in every part of your life.  Allow yourself to imagine a wonderful life ahead.

  • Think about how you would act if you were an outstanding person in every way.  Create that picture in your mind.  Then, practice being this person, as though you were acting a role in a play. 

You’ll immediately notice a difference in your behaviour.  Practice all of the above.

It is time now for you to take action and to really begin to change your life.  Or you could do nothing.  It is your choice. I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Don’t die with your music still in you

The title of this blog is a paraphrase of the Emerson quote about how “Most men die with their music still in them.”

Ask yourself these questions:

  •  Am I doing what I came here to do?

  • Am I, at least in part, ‘playing my special music’?

If you answered yes to the questions, or are at least pursuing them, then I congratulate you. If your answer is no –  what you are waiting for?!

We are all special in this world.  Each of us has some special contribution to make to the world.  Perhaps it’s to write a book.  Perhaps your special gift is in being a great teacher or coach. It could be you are the next person to discover a cure for a major disease, or to start a business and be the best you can be at what you do.

 

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Are you a builder who is passionate about your work?  Do you dream of being a great parent, artist, or baker?

Whatever the passion is within you, let it out.  Life is too fragile and uncertain to postpone your dreams, hoping that someday, you will really begin to live your life.

Begin now!  Whatever it is you are passionate about, you can begin it now.  What are you waiting for?

When I lived in Basingstoke, Hampshire, my next door neighbour Maureen was really looking forward to her retirement.  She had planned everything she was going to do with her life once she could stop work and concentrate on herself. There were so many things she hadn’t yet done and when she had the time after her retirement she was going to do them all.

Six months before her 60th birthday Maureen was diagnosed with terminal cancer and she died before she even got to be 60.  She never did get to retire or do all the many things that she had planned to do when she retired.

It saddens me to see someone who is near the end their life, never having taken a step to realize their dream.  It saddens me that anyone should leave this earth with their music still in them. You owe it to yourself to let it out!

Imagine in your mind a mirror.  Look into that mirror and see yourself as you are today.  Now I want you to imagine yourself at the age of 80, see those sparkling eyes looking back at you.  I want you then to turn round and look back through the years of your life and note all the things you have achieved up to the age of 80.  How many things have you achieved?

 

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Wouldn’t it be sad if you were to look back at 80 and say to yourself ‘I haven’t achieved anything in all my years’.  Don’t wait, begin now.  What are you waiting for?

Don’t die with your music still in you.

It is time now for you to take action and to really begin to change your life.  Or you could do nothing.  It is your choice. I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Listening to my own advice – a well earned break

It was 4am last Sunday when the alarm clock roused me from a deep sleep.  I had to get up and get ready to catch a ferry to the mainland at 6.45am.  But first, the caravan needed to be retrieved from the farm where it is stored, about 12 miles away.

Bleary eyed I showered and dressed, made a hot drink and set about loading up the van with the stuff we needed for our short break.  I had catered for our trip with food for our breakfasts, some lunches and some dinners.  We would be eating out in the evening on at least one occasion.

So off we went to hitch up the caravan and set off to catch the ferry.

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Everything went to plan, the four sets of gates on the farm were still firmly closed.  We managed to negotiate all of them, closing them behind us.  Arrived at the ferry terminal with time to spare.  Feeling hungry now, looking forward to a hearty breakfast on the ferry.

On arrival at the mainland we disembarked and set off for Redhill aerodrome for the first of our planned excursions, a flight over London in a helicopter.  The sun was shining, there were loads of people watching the planes and helicopters taking off and landing.  There was the danger of low cloud and rain coming in from the west, but that was going to be later on in the day.  Our flight was going ahead, but it was going to be the last one of the day as the pilot had to get the helicopter back to it’s home before the weather changed.

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The flight was glorious and over too quickly.  We flew over the Gherkin, the Shard, saw HMS Illustrious on her tour around the UK before she is scrapped.  There were tiny cows in the fields, weeny people playing golf (I never knew there were so many golf courses in London). And all too soon we were heading back to Redhill.  The helicopter was flying at 125 mph, but it didn’t feel like it.  It was comfortable, enjoyable and I loved it.  My husband loved it too, which is just as well as it was his anniversary present from me.

We landed back at Redhill and collected our van and caravan and set off to find out caravan pitch for the next few days.  We travelled back to Winchester which was to be our base.  The certified site was fabulous.  It was a small farm with a few horses, there were five pitches and that was it.  We had electric hook up and water.  We were set.  The farmer and his wife were lovely and couldn’t have been more helpful.  They found us telephone numbers for local taxis and made us feel really welcome.

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I cooked a roast chicken, roast potatoes and vegetables for our dinner and it was lovely to just sit and watch the horses whilst enjoying our evening meal.

The next day we planned to go to Southampton as we had tickets for the Rocky Horror Show.  We left around 11am and took a taxi to the station and got a train to Southampton station.  The free bus took us to West Quay shopping centre.  We had lunch in the John Lewis restaurant with some wine, since we weren’t driving anywhere.  A wander around the shopping centre reminded me how much I dislike shopping.  We had several cups of coffee during the afternoon and then set off to catch the free bus back to Southampton Station. Over the bridge and a short walk away is the Mayflower Theatre where we had a table booked for our evening meal.

A lovely meal it was too.  It was delicious, presented beautifully and the service was great.  Ready now for the Rocky Horror Show. We have seen the film several times, and seen a stage version many years ago.  Would it be good, would it the same?

No it wasn’t the same, it was even better. The whole thing was full of energy.  There were a lot of the members of the audience dressed up as various characters from the show and a lot of interaction between the audience and the narrator, who was Philip Franks.

Thoroughly enjoyed it, the audience was up and dancing and the atmosphere was brilliant.  Then we walked back to the station and got a train back to Winchester and taxi back to our caravan.

The next day we went to the Wimbledon Museum, my Christmas present.  A trip around the museum and going on to Centre Court and Court No. 1. Taxi to the station, train to Wimbledon and, because it was raining, a taxi to the Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club.

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Of course it rained, as you would expect at Wimbledon.  We were taken around a large part of the site, into the covered walkways between Centre Court and Court No. 1.  Past the players’ restaraunt, through the players’ reception area.  Onto Court No. 1.  We were not allowed anywhere near the grass, it had it’s own security guard to make sure nobody touched it.  It was of course pristine.  The edges were perfectly shaped, the grass trimmed to perfection.  We sat in the press seats and could see all around.

Then we went to Centre Court.  Again not allowed anywhere near the grass, which also had it’s own security guard.  We were allowed to sit in the press seats again, and we could see the BBC commentary box – basically a portacabin – where people like John McEnroe, Boris Becker et al describe the action.

There is a 360 degree pod on Centre Court where you can get an all round view of the stadium.  It is removed for Wimbledon fortnight for obvious reasons.

We dined in the restaurant and of course had to have strawberries and cream. Well it would have been rude not to whilst at Wimbledon.  A visit to the museum revealed some fascinating facts and showed the clothes women used to wear whilst playing, including their bustles.

Back on the train to Winchester. This time I cooked spaghetti bolognese for our evening meal.  Mmmmmm.

Our final trip was to a brewery and winery near Henley.  We drove there this time.  I agreed to drive back as it was my hubby’s Christmas present.  So I tasted a soft drink whilst he tasted the wines, beers and liqueurs.

First a trip around the brewing processes, learning how they mix the hops with the gloop for the beer, and how they harvest the grapes and press them and bottle them ready to sell.

Very interesting indeed and of course there was the tasting of half a dozen wines, several beers and a few liqueurs.  A very enjoyable couple of hours.  I drove back to Winchester and we enjoyed our evening meal of pie and chips.

Thursday we set off for home.

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A very enjoyable few days fitting in our various trips and making use of our caravan for the first time this year.  It will have several more outings in June, July and August and it will be going as far afield as Scotland, Henley and Manchester.

I have learned to practice what I teach and coach, and that is to have time for myself.  If you find that difficult, then we can work together on that.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Is it time for you to take action?

As a very busy coach I am lucky enough to be in a position where, on a daily basis, the fascinating people I work with tell me all about their big dreams, grand plans and compelling goals.  Dreams, plans and goals that they have possibly never shared with  another living soul.  There are some amazing potential futures out there for these people!

What will be the deciding factors in whether these big dreams remain as dreams or become  wonderful and vibrant realities?  The factors are – clarity, vision, belief, motivation, support – and they all play a part.  But the deciding factor in each and every case is – will this person take action?  Will they act upon what they want and work towards making it happen?

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Frequently people don’t realise their ambitions and make their dreams a reality because their aspirations remain as something that they think about, rather than something that they do or create.  Having put all that effort into the thinking, dreaming and planning they find all sorts of reasons not to do anything to make things happen for them.

Interestingly, the most common reason that I hear for inaction is ‘no time’.  How often do you hear people say “If only I had the time”?

This time-poor mentality is very common, so much so that we often appear to believe we have run out of time, or that there is literally none to spare because it’s already been spent on the other stuff in our lives.  Time is ‘taken up’ by so many things that  when it comes to the big goals and ambitions that require action, we don’t feel we have any left.

Added to that, the nature of some of these wonderful dreams that people have ( retraining for a new career perhaps) mean that they can take a certain amount of time to come to fruition, and there can be a sense of, “but it would just take so long!”.

The thing is though, time is passing anyway.  Regardless of whether or not we take action, whether or not we use it constructively and make it count, it is going by at the same rate.  The real key to success is to decide to use it in the best way possible for what is most important to us.

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We allow so many less important things to drain our time when we could choose at any moment to use it in a much better way, in such a way that we make progress and start heading towards where we want to be.  So that in a year or two years time, we’ll be in a different place to the place we are in now.  Well on our way to one of those compelling potential futures.  Or perhaps by that time it will be our reality.

Is it time for you to take action? Do you have a dream or an ambition in which you’ve invested lots of thinking and planning time, but just haven’t taken  any action to achieve it?

Ask yourself:

  • What needs to happen for me to achieve this?  What are all the steps?
  • What is stopping me from taking action?  How long will I allow these things to stop me?
  • What is the one thing I could do in the next 24 hours to know that I have started taking action?
  • Will you do it?

It is time now for you to take action and to really begin to change your life. I will help you to do that. Get in touch today.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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What makes a very good relationship last?

I believe a good relationship is based on trust, love, respect, listening, learning, giving and taking.  Communication of course is essential.  If you don’t communicate effectively with each other, then the relationship will fail. Whether the relationship is a marriage or a friendship, those bases have to be covered or the relationship will not flourish.

I have been married to my husband for 29 years and we love each deeply.  We also trust each other implicitly.  I always listen to what my husband has to say, and mostly he listens to what I have to say.  We don’t always agree, but we respect each other’s opinion.  There is also the factor of knowing that we are there for each other to support and encourage in low times and to praise and celebrate with each other in the high times.  We each know that we can depend upon each other no matter what.  Our communication works, we are honest with each other and there are no secrets (with the exception of birthday and Christmas presents of course).

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I have very few good friends who I would trust with my life.  But those I do have know that equally they can trust me with their lives.  I have one friend in particular who I have known since I was 9 years old.  We are good friends.  We live hundreds of miles apart, but we manage to get together at least once a year and to keep in touch via email and social media.  We love each other as friends, trust and respect each other, learn from each other even now after all these years.

I have a good relationship with my mother, this has not always been the case, but I have learned that we do love each other, respect each other’s opinions and although we live about two hours away from each other, we communicate via phone every so often and I visit her many times a year. She is going to be 90 this year, still lives in her own home, and is surprisingly spritely for her age.

Here are some tips to help make your relationship last:

  • Be honest with each other. If you have made a mistake then admit it, apologise. Don’t let your ego get in the way.
  • If your partner makes a mistake and apologises, is it always their fault? Did they know what you expected of them? Was your communication clear? If not, can you take responsibility and admit that?
  • Say I love you to your partner or friend and mean it. They will be feeling on top of the world because they feel loved and wanted.  This will reflect back on you and make you feel the same.
  • Say thank you. That has a similar effect to saying I love you. Being appreciated means so much in a relationship.
  • Don’t forget that you are still your own person and your partner or friend is still their own person.  Have your own set of friends that you can go out with now and again, without your partner.  Being together all the time can be very suffocating and can cause damage to a relationship.
  • Share your secrets. Know the trivial things about your partner that nobody else knows.

If you don’t have a good relationship with someone, is there something missing? Do you trust each other, respect each other, listen to each other, learn from each other and love each other?

Four Women Friends at the Beach

The best part I find of being in a relationship is that I am not in it alone.  I have someone to love, to work with and work things out with.

No relationship is perfect, it would be terribly boring if it were.  But you are in the relationship with someone you love and who loves you. Cuddle your partner when you go to sleep at night – there is nothing more comforting than having a loving pair of arms around you when you go to sleep and when you wake in the morning.

All of these things will help to make a good relationship last.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves, and I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Taking time for YOU!

My clients often tell me that one of the added benefits of having coaching with me, that they hadn’t considered before they started, is that their coaching sessions can often be the only time in their busy week that they feel able to step back and truly focus 100% on themselves.  Be honest, how often could you say that you allow yourself to do just that?

A lot of the time we get so busy ‘doing’ that we forget about ‘being’.

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This was a revelation of sorts for me some years back.  I had something fantastically inspiring to aim for.  I had the focus, I had the drive to work really hard, and I was making good progress.  And yet, I ended up feeling ill, stressed and fairly disillusioned.  I began to think that if this was what having stretching goals was about, I wasn’t sure I wanted them after all!

Talking through how I felt with a good friend one day, I was brought up short when she said “oh yes, you’ve become a ‘human doing’ instead of a ‘human being'”.  I thought about that all the way home.

As I reflected on the previous few months, I could think of very few times when I wasn’t ‘doing’ and even fewer times when I’d consciously decided to take time out and ‘just be’.

How much of your time do you spend ‘doing’ and how much do you spend ‘being’?  If you had to divide a circle up with how much time you give over to each, what would it look like?  How big would your ‘being’ slice be? Be absolutely honest with yourself.

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With our busy lives and time-poor society it can seem nearly impossible to take more time for ourselves, but at what cost do we choose not to?  My decision those few years back was to invest more time in myself, and I’m certain that I’m more productive as a result.  I get more done in my ‘doing’ time now than I ever did when I was ‘doing’ every waking second of the day.  Plus, my ultimate decision was that it couldn’t all be about the doing and the destination or I’d miss the journey altogether.

So as we roll into the next season, what time can you make for yourself to just ‘be’?  When can you next set aside an hour or two, a whole day or even more than that, to relax and recharge?  Imagine how much better you will feel when you do?

Could you do with some regular time set aside to focus 100% on you and on making your life how you want it?

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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