March 12, 2013 by Maggie Currie

Self Awareness

When I was in my teens and even up to my early 40s I had very little self-awareness. I plodded along doing what I was told to do, manipulated by so many people. I was so totally not self-aware I didn’t even notice that I was living my life on other people’s terms.

It is only since I have trained to be a life coach that I have really discovered myself and discovered my own self awareness. I have found that to be able to grow into my own self-awareness I have to understand my feelings and emotions. This was quite a difficult journey for me, as I have suppressed feelings and emotions for many years. The reason – I was told by my parents when I was a child that I should be seen and not heard. I was told that I should not express anger or display any emotion. And so I learned to repress them.

Having this understanding now after learning so much about my feelings and emotions and rediscovering who I am really am, I know that I can express my feelings and emotions. And this is a huge step for me towards self-awareness. But what does self-awareness do for me? What are the benefits to me? Being self-aware has given me the opportunity and freedom to change those things I want to change about myself and create the life that I want. I now don’t allow others to manipulate me. I live my life on my terms. I am seen and heard and I do express my feelings and emotions.

The more clarity I get about who I am and what I want, and of course why I want it, the more I empower myself to consciously make those wants a reality. But, how do I get this clarity? I turn to the expert – ME. I know more about myself than anyone else, I know I have been manipulated and by whom. I know I have suppressed my feelings and emotions, and I know why. And I have got to know myself even better over the past few years by becoming so much more self-aware. I am, of course, still learning.

To get the clarity I want I have learned to ask myself questions and expect specific answers. The more specific my answers, the more impact they have on my life and then I have a much clearer picture of me. Of course, there are times when my answer is ‘I don’t know’ and I know that is okay too. I give myself the freedom to take a wild guess and this allows me to carry on. What I have discovered is that I really do know more than I ever thought I did.

Honesty is vital in my answers to myself. It will lead to my true self-awareness, but it does take a lot of courage. It is the courage to face my fears or to face something I find difficult to accept about myself. For instance, I know that I am impatient and want things to happen now. I also know that when people are speaking to me I get impatient to hear the end of what they are saying, and I tend to try to finish their sentences for them. I know this about myself and do my best to bite my tongue and not jump in with the answers. By being totally honest with myself I take ownership of my actions, thoughts and feelings and find those beliefs that are no longer serving me. Those beliefs can then be discarded, altered or whatever feels right for me.

I find that sometimes I do slip up and give an answer that perhaps I think I should give, rather than what I really know is right. That means I am giving answers from my head rather than getting in touch with my feelings and getting the answer there. To get out of my head again, I take several deep breaths and start to listen to my body, to notice where it is hurting and breathe into that place. This helps me to balance myself and to find the answers I need, and they come from inside me rather than from my head.

I know that whatever I discover about myself I can handle with ease and acceptance. I trust that whatever I discover about myself will in some way lead to a greater sense of me and increased self-awareness.

I have found that practising listening to my body has enabled me to get to grips with my emotions and feelings in a way that I have never been able to do before. And of course I am learning every day more and more about myself too.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate…..it is a lack of self belief

I know how it feels to have feelings of inadequacy. I feared that I wasn’t good enough, that others didn’t think I was good enough either. I doubted by abilities and whether I actually knew anything at all. Those feelings made my body feel heavy and sluggish, they made my brain all fuggy and hard to get going. I felt totally unmotivated and really had to force myself to keep appointments and to do all the usual everyday things like looking after myself properly. I didn’t want to prepare any meals and therefore wasn’t eating properly. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate… it is really that we have little self belief.

The lack of self belief is something that had become a habit because I was always told that I was average when I was growing up and that I would never amount to anything. And having been told that so many times, I believed it. I believed it for many, many years until I started reading about self-development and coaching. Something clicked for me, and I decided that I probably do more than I originally thought.

I began to take courses in coaching, corporate coaching, NLP, confidence coaching and I discovered that not only did I love this work, I was good at it. No – I was very good at it indeed. And I loved every minute of it and still do. I am passionate about helping other people to develop as themselves and to boost their confidence and self belief.

Now I thought that after achieving all those diplomas, and all the many hours and days of hard work I had done to achieve them, I would get rid of those feelings of being inadequacy. But I was wrong. They all came back again and it was like reliving the same old behaviour patterns again. What could I do?

I trained in emotion based coaching as an addition to my already extensive qualifications and I learned to look at my old unexpressed feelings which were affecting my life and learned to acknowledge them, deal with them and this allowed me to live my life as me in a much more confident way. Working on myself I again had those feelings of inadequacy, but this time found the solutions to make those nasty feelings go away. I made a list of all the things that I do creatively and a list of my innovativity. That took some thinking about but I did it, and it really worked. I am feeling so much more confident now in myself and who I am and what I have to offer to myself, my husband, my friends-in-deed and of course my clients.

Getting good responses from the people I coach whilst they are getting great results makes such a difference to my confidence levels. I know that I am a brilliant coach with a lot to offer my clients and I know that I do a grand job with them.

I take each day as it comes and I boost my confidence by reading my lists of creativity and innovativity, watch the results of my clients and support people in the coaching community and know that I am confident in my abilities and in me. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate…..it is a lack of self belief. It is very common for people going through divorce to lose their self-belief and that is where I can help.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Do you need to change your surname after divorce?

There are a million reasons why it is advisable to stick with your married name after divorce. There are also a million reasons why you could change your surname after divorce.

If you have children, it can make it easier when dealing with schools to keep the same surname as the children have. Although, in this day and age, it is very common for children to have different surnames from their parents. For instance, when two families merge there will be Mr & Mrs X and their 6 children. 3 of the children have come from Mrs X’s previous marriage, and 3 of the children have come from Mr X’s previous marriage. So there will be Mr & Mrs X with children X and children Y.

It can cause some hassle with paperwork, but other than that, it is not a problem.

When there are no children involved, it may be that you may want to change your surname. You can choose to revert to your maiden name, if you like that name, or you can choose another surname entirely. Changing your name can be done relatively easily via deed poll. You will have to provide several forms of documentation to prove you are who you say you are, and that you not going to commit fraud. But once that is done, and the fee paid of course, you can go ahead. You can find out more information from their website.

You could completely reinvent yourself if you chose to. Pick a name that you have always loved and that you think will suit you. If you are not sure, then try a few out for size. Write down the names you think of, say them out loud, see if they fit. If they don’t then think of some more until you find one you really like.

There will be banks, credit cards etc., to inform, but once that is all done you can live happily with your new name.

Some people want to revert to their maiden name, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing that either. It is a matter of personal choice.

There are, of course those, who didn’t change their surname when they got married, and therefore nothing needs to change now, unless they want it to…………….

Whatever decision you make, be sure it is the right one for you. Don’t allow other people to influence you either way. It is your life, your name and it is you who has to live with it.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

My radio interview with Susan Rich on W4WN Radio

Yesterday I had the privilege of being interviewed by Susan Rich on her radio programme. She and Annemarie Scheutz chatted with me for half an hour or so about my work and wanted to learn more about how divorce coaching works.

Click here to listen to the programme.

I had such a good time and was made to feel so welcome.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

Getting our lives back after divorce

Do you remember how you felt when you were happy? Is that feeling so far away in the past that you really can’t remember it?

I can totally relate to that. I struggled to remember a time when I was truly happy when I was going through divorce and in the couple of years afterwards.

But I was happy at one time, and I am sure you were too.

Now it is time to get your life back and be the you that you know you are and want to be again. So let’s get back to the magical you.

How do you want to look? What would you be wearing? How would you stand? What’s your facial expression like?

Picture yourself in your mind standing in front of a long mirror so you can see the whole length of you. What do you want to look like, wear, stand? Are you smiling? Create the you that you want to be.

What do you need to let go of? How do you need to move on? What is holding you back?

What stuff do you need to let go of now that is of no use to you. What do you need to do now for you to move on with your life. What is it that is holding you back from what you want to do and how you want to be?

If you had all the money and time in the world, describe your ideal relationship, your ideal career, your ideal house.

Let your imagination run wild. What is it that you are aiming for now that you are free?

What behaviours do you need to change in order to live for today? Slow down, stop worrying and build time into your day to enjoy your life.

There are certain to be some behaviours that need to be changed in order for you to move on with your life that you are totally responsible for yourself. Really be honest with yourself here. Then changes those behaviours that you have identified.

Slow down not just by stopping rushing around, but slow your mind down too. Stop worrying about things that might happen, you are just attracting problems to you. Take the time each day to just sit with yourself, have a cup of coffee and enjoy your own company. Build this time into your day, block it out in your diary. Make time for you.

When you do all these things for yourself, you will get your life back and you will enjoy it more and because you are enjoying it more, you will attract happy people to you, because they will see how happy and content you are.

Do you want to remain stuck and miserable?

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

How to improve your life pre and post divorce

Going through divorce takes its toll, I can attest to that! I thought the process would never end and that I would never be able to get away and live my life on my own.

I had all the doubts that come with being in an uncertain situation. I was afraid of making mistakes, of making the wrong decisions, losing control of my emotions, trying to be civil to my ex, especially in front of the children, and I lost sight of who I was.

I found the fear of making mistakes to be so overwhelming, and I thought that those mistakes were going to affect me for evermore. That was very scary. I found the way to stop it being so overwhelming was to get professional help. I used the services of a solicitor I could trust. It is important for you to surround yourself with professionals whose expertise you trust and respect – and also that you can afford. I know it will make such a difference to you.

Decision making became a chore. I was frequently asked to make decisions. That too was very worrying. But what is it I was worrying about? The unknown of course. Make sure you get all the facts; analyse those facts; make a decision – then ACT on that decision. I know then you will get unstuck and move forward.

Being in control of emotions is very important. I found that nobody wanted to hear me talk incessantly about my ex. But I did need to talk to someone to let out all that rage and anger. I tried to limit those listeners to a few very good friends and a few family members I trusted. Be aware of who you are talking to, the checkout assistant in the supermarket really doesn’t want to know just what a horrible idiot your ex-husband is!

I know how difficult it is to remember who you are in the divorce process. Try and make sure your priority is you. No matter how well or badly your divorce goes, even in the very worst divorces, there will be a time for you to heal and accept. It is definitely preferable to do all you can to maintain a civil relationship with your ex. For a time you will feel all the emotions that go with a fight. Once that fight is over, let go of the bitterness, because if you don’t, it will only be you who will suffer.

I was very angry at first and it really didn’t do me any good at all. Choose not to be angry, after all being angry is a choice. There are many reasons to hold onto anger and refuse to let it go. There are some people who become addicted to anger. Anger gives a false sense of power and strength. However, the real strength comes from having the ability to recognise the false rush anger brings and to have the power of stepping back and seeing the whole situation for what it really is. Real power helps you to respond with clarity and compassion.

Going through divorce I was a mum, an ex-wife and a huge number of other descriptions. But where was I? I was lost, but I made the effort to find me again. It’s vital for you to remember that you are so much more than a newly single woman or a mother. You are a strong woman, a worker, a friend, a volunteer – there are so many facets to you. You need to weave these facets into your definition of yourself.

Follow these steps and you won’t become an angry ex-wife who has lost her identity and spends all her days telling supermarket staff how bad her life is. You will be in control, able to make decisions that are right for you and will avoid making mistakes.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

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July 1, 2012 by Maggie Currie

My technically challenging two weeks

Where do I start? This last couple of weeks have been horrendous in respect of my computer.

I had the tower built for me to accommodate my specific requirements and for 8 months it has been working well. A couple of weeks ago it began to hang and then there was a shimmer on the screens. The engineer who built it was called and he replaced the video card which he claimed would ‘probably’ fix it. Well, it didn’t. It made it ten times worse. The shimmer was gone, but the computer crashed, and crashed and crashed.

Engineer came back and replaced the power supply and memory cards. ‘That should fix it, otherwise I have no idea’ he said No different, the computer crashed and crashed all over again. But, of course, he had gone by then.

Contacted engineer who claimed that I had told him that he wasn’t fixing the computer in a timely manner. This I had never said or implied, all I asked is that the computer is fixed. He said it would have been fixed sooner if I hadn’t been adamant that it should not be taken away to their workshop. I wasn’t adamant, I said I would prefer that it wasn’t taken away.

So on Wednesday morning I went out and bought a new tower, Kelvin transferred everything to it and I am up and running again. This took most of the day. My work was piling up and I was letting down my coaching clients who I speak with on Skype.

All this hassle, and without the help of my technical genius husband I would be totally stuck. Nothing would get done. Fortunately everything is backed up offsite and retrieving everything was relatively easy.

So computer is being collected on Monday to be diagnosed and ‘fixed’. Meanwhile I am able to work and get on with my daily life and work with my clients using my new computer.

The gift of this situation is that I am able to calmly go about my daily work, even through all this disruption. My experiences and learning mean I don’t freak out, I accept the situation and deal with it calmly and with positivity. Previously I would have freaked out, and run around in circles getting absolutely nowhere.

I have also learned that I can find and download programmes and tools, I am capable and life goes on.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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May 20, 2012 by Maggie Currie

Grounded, meditated and living!

This week has been very constructive for me and I have delved into new things that will benefit me in the long term, as well as being enjoyable whilst they are happening.

For instance, I had my first Tai Chi class this week for a very long time. I think the last class was about 5 years ago. I say class, it involved standing still for half an hour, doing an exercise for 10 minutes, warming down and then sitting on the floor drinking stewed green tea for half an hour. Not what I would call inspiring or useful. I stuck it for a few months, then gave up.

This week’s class was so totally different and I learned more in an hour and a half than I did in all the previous months. And today I am aching, so it must be doing me good.

I learned how to ground myself and how we are all connected to the ground. I learned that I have to be in the moment to get the full benefit of Tai Chi as it is all about self-awareness and being aware of where you place your feet, hands etc. There are 4 people in the class, so we all get individual instruction and help from the tutor.

The tutor is someone I coached a few years ago because he was overwhelmed with work, travel, admin etc. He didn’t know where to turn and he was dreading getting up each day. During our one session together he came to the realisation, with my deft questioning, that he needed someone to help him with the admin side of his business. He has gone from strength to strength.

This is his testimonial to me: “Thanks for the notes and your time yesterday. The idea of getting help was a major breakthrough for me and I am laughing at myself and in total disbelief that I had to be led by you to that very obvious solution!!! I guess you must get that all the time though. Getting help will open up the possibilities of what I can achieve enormously and I actually woke up this morning raring to go instead of dreading the day’s work.”

It is so good to be appreciated and get results for my clients. That is why I love my work and am so passionate about it.

I also began meditating today. I enjoyed it, even though it was only 10 minutes and was surprised at how effective it is. I found some meditation music that I like and it lasts for about 10 minutes. It is very conducive to meditating, something I have always wanted to learn, and now I am. The music can be found at http://www.omharmonics.com.

I worked with one of my client this week and she is learning so much about herself and how she can connect with her emotions and feelings. This is something we all need to do to ensure we are living our lives authentically. It is also something I learned going through divorce and in the aftermath. I had lost the real me in the divorce process and it took me a long time to find me again. This is why I love working with people because I don’t want them to ever be lost to themselves like I was.

So – grounded, meditated and living. A good place to be!

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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January 14, 2012 by Maggie Currie

Self worth

My view of my self worth has been very low recently. I hadn’t actually realised it until today when I read the following message I received this morning from Abraham:

‘Worthiness, in very simple terms, means I have found a way to let the Energy reach me, the Energy that is natural, reach me. Worthiness, or unworthiness, is something that is pronounced upon you by you. You are the only one that can deem yourself worthy or unworthy. You are the only one who can love yourself into a state of allowing, or hate yourself in a state of disallowing. There is not something wrong with you, nor is there something wrong with one who is not loving you. You are all just, in the moment, practicing the art of not allowing, or the art of resisting.’

I was indeed practising the art of not allowing – not allowing myself to receive the abundance that I so truly deserve. Somehow I had become blocked and was feeling that I was not at all worthy. My skills were of no use to anyone and therefore nobody new would be coming to me for coaching.

Fortunately, this missive from Abraham resonated with me on many levels. It made me remember just how self destructive negative thinking can be. I know this is true, but I am just as liable to negative thoughts as anyone else, although I do endeavour to keep thinking positively as it benefits me, and my clients, so much more.

I thought about this for a little while and it came to me that I have not been giving myself the recognition that I so richly deserve. I have been hiding my light under a bushel and that is now going to stop. It also made me stop and think about how I felt going through divorce. I felt even worse then, I had no self esteem or feelings or self worth. I thought I would never be able to hold my head up again, let alone change my life. But I did change my life and the way I see myself and it has made such a huge difference to my life.

I work with fabulous coaches who love and support me, teach and coach me, learn from me and are coached by me. I have so much to offer my current and potential clients and my passion is in coaching people to become who they really are.

With modern technology anyone in the world can access coaching via Skype, phone, instant messaging and so many other ways.

My own self worth has increased dramatically since I began writing this blog and will continue to do so, especially as I remind myself of all my successes. That doesn’t mean I have a big head, I don’t, I know my own self worth and I am proud of it. I am worthy and I shall not be wasting my time or energy on negativity any longer.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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December 16, 2011 by Maggie Currie

My achievements and what I foresee for myself

I have accomplished so much that it is hard to know where to begin. I have become a much more rounded life coach with the training and coaching I have undertaken over the years. This has built on my already considerable expertise as a coach and has allowed me to grow so much more as a person too.

An even bigger accomplishment for me is to let go of my ego mind and have a coach (in fact lots of coaches) just for me. In the past my ego mind has told me that I didn’t need a coach because I am already one, so what could I learn? This accomplishment has been a revelation to me and I have learned so much from my coaches this year and grown as a person and a coach myself. My wonderful coaches have taught me that there is still so much to learn in this life and I am enjoying all the learning.

I have accomplished coaching my fellow coaches so they have grown and spread their wings too. My expertise and advice has been invaluable to them. I have also accomplished finding my voice and speaking up for myself so that I am heard. I have considerable expertise and a lot to offer and I have accomplished letting people know that.

My book “What you believe creates your reality” is continuing to sell all around the world and I know that there are people who have changed their lives because they have read it and taken action. I have accomplished some amazing life changes for people through this medium – I know that one person realised that they weren’t in the right relationship and they have ended it and moved on, another person has changed direction completely, been to NASA for 3 months and learned about what she wanted rather than what others wanted her to learn, I also know that my book has been read on five continents and been taken on cruise ships and sent to relatives and friends all around the world. That is some accomplishment.

My book is ideal to read if you are going through divorce, life trauma, uncertainty, as it will show you how to be you and to create the life you want.

I have worked with many people as a volunteer coach and mentor through Young Enterprise, The Prince’s Trust and Mentor-Net to help them achieve their goals and aspirations.

I was hired to coach a young man who was despondent because he had no job and he had lost confidence in himself. He is married and is a brilliant web designer and computer techy. I coached him for just one session and a few months later asked him for an update. He told me that he felt so much more confident in himself and was getting out there in the employment market again. I was told this week that he had got a job, not just any job! He is now working for Apple. That is some achievement for him and for me.

I am currently the resident coach at Community Action Isle of Wight and help people to regain their confidence so they can get back to work. I am loving this.

I am also the resident coach on an internationally networked radio programme entitled Calder’s Confessions. This is quite a challenge but I am loving it.

I shall continue to coach and be coached and to grow even more as a person and help them to grow too. This is a magical year.

Where do you see yourself? Are you having difficulty getting through a life trauma, divorce etc.?

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

When I was in my teens and even up to my early 40s I had very little self-awareness. I plodded along doing what I was told to do, manipulated by so many people. I was so totally not self-aware I didn’t even notice that I was living my life on other people’s terms.

I know that whatever I discover about myself I can handle with ease and acceptance. I trust that whatever I discover about myself will in some way lead to a greater sense of me and increased self-awareness.

I have found that practising listening to my body has enabled me to get to grips with my emotions and feelings in a way that I have never been able to do before. And of course I am learning every day more and more about myself too.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

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Getting good responses from the people I coach whilst they are getting great results makes such a difference to my confidence levels. I know that I am a brilliant coach with a lot to offer my clients and I know that I do a grand job with them.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

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There are a million reasons why it is advisable to stick with your married name after divorce. There are also a million reasons why you could change your surname after divorce.

It can cause some hassle with paperwork, but other than that, it is not a problem.

There will be banks, credit cards etc., to inform, but once that is all done you can live happily with your new name.

Some people want to revert to their maiden name, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing that either. It is a matter of personal choice.

There are, of course those, who didn’t change their surname when they got married, and therefore nothing needs to change now, unless they want it to…………….

Whatever decision you make, be sure it is the right one for you. Don’t allow other people to influence you either way. It is your life, your name and it is you who has to live with it.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

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Yesterday I had the privilege of being interviewed by Susan Rich on her radio programme. She and Annemarie Scheutz chatted with me for half an hour or so about my work and wanted to learn more about how divorce coaching works.

Click here to listen to the programme.

I had such a good time and was made to feel so welcome.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

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Do you remember how you felt when you were happy? Is that feeling so far away in the past that you really can’t remember it?

I can totally relate to that. I struggled to remember a time when I was truly happy when I was going through divorce and in the couple of years afterwards.

But I was happy at one time, and I am sure you were too.

Now it is time to get your life back and be the you that you know you are and want to be again. So let’s get back to the magical you.

How do you want to look? What would you be wearing? How would you stand? What’s your facial expression like?

Picture yourself in your mind standing in front of a long mirror so you can see the whole length of you. What do you want to look like, wear, stand? Are you smiling? Create the you that you want to be.

What do you need to let go of? How do you need to move on? What is holding you back?

What stuff do you need to let go of now that is of no use to you. What do you need to do now for you to move on with your life. What is it that is holding you back from what you want to do and how you want to be?

If you had all the money and time in the world, describe your ideal relationship, your ideal career, your ideal house.

Let your imagination run wild. What is it that you are aiming for now that you are free?

What behaviours do you need to change in order to live for today? Slow down, stop worrying and build time into your day to enjoy your life.

There are certain to be some behaviours that need to be changed in order for you to move on with your life that you are totally responsible for yourself. Really be honest with yourself here. Then changes those behaviours that you have identified.

When you do all these things for yourself, you will get your life back and you will enjoy it more and because you are enjoying it more, you will attract happy people to you, because they will see how happy and content you are.

Do you want to remain stuck and miserable?

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

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Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

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Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

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Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

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Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

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