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Confidence sapping friends and colleagues

The people with whom you have the most contact and hang around will have either a positive or negative effect on your levels of self-esteem and confidence.  We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around.

How do they make you feel?

Yes, they make you feel the same!  They put zest into a boring atmosphere and fill the room with positive, can do vibes that has a knock on effect onto everyone else.

Four Women Friends at the Beach

We also know of those people who could moan for England!

According to them, they never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – need I go on?

These people drain your energy and bring you down to their level, a million miles away from the level that YOU want to be operating on.

Family members can be a lot like this as well, but you can always choose your friends, you can never choose your relatives!

tiredwoman

So what can you do to make sure that the people who you hang around with empower and support what you stand for, rather than bring you down all of the time?

You have the power to choose who you hang around with. Ideally you want happy, vibrant and positive people.

If you have good friends who are negative and yet you still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how you feel – if they are a true friend they will respect you for this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.

The same can be said with family. Your more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years and years and from different eras. Appreciate where they have come from and as in number 2 above, elicit and select the information that filters through to your brain.

Remember,  that nothing has meaning in life except the meaning that you give it.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.

I have some availability for new coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates for when you want to get started.  Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Who were and are your teachers?

We learn all the time through various means, at school, college, university, from neighbours, friends, relatives etc. Who have been your teachers over the years?
My teachers have been my parents, my primary school teachers, my senior school teachers, college tutors, my cousins, my children, my grandchildren, colleagues, my friends, my mother-in-law, my husband, myself and friends-in-deed.

I was taught by my parents and my teachers that I was average. This is not a lesson I want to keep because I am not, never have been and never will be average. I am unique, and I may not know the same things that so called clever people know, but what I do know is just as valuable. 

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I was taught by my college tutors that I should follow the rules. This is not a lesson I want to keep because not all rules should be followed. There are some that must be followed, and there are some that should be bent a little, and some that should be ignored completely. It is all dependent upon the situation and the rule.

I was taught by my husband and three children that love is unconditional for them. That is a lesson I am keeping because no matter what I love them all unconditionally.

I have been taught by my grandchildren that they are more intelligent than their previous generations and that they will be going places when they are old enough. This is a lesson I want to keep, and I want to watch them do just that.

I was taught by my mother-in-law that we are on this earth to help people. This is a lesson definitely to keep because that is what I want to do above all else. Help people, everywhere.

I was taught by myself that I can do more than I originally thought was possible to do. This is definitely another lesson I want to keep and expand upon.

I have learned and am still learning that there is so much more to learn and that life is a school. This lesson will be staying for the rest of my life.

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7 steppingstones book
I have learned that I am not average, I am capable. I have written and had published two books which are selling well all around the world and helping people too. I am a successful Life Coach who is changing the lives of people for the better and loving my work.
Think about who has taught you over the years, what you have learned and how valuable it is.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

Helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Trusting your gut feeling

Gut feelings get their name from the place in the body where they make themselves known.  A pang in your gut when you may be doing the wrong thing, or a vibrant zing when your body approves of what you are doing, can guide you reliably at times when logic fails. Sometimes, when logic takes over, we ignore our gut and probably live to regret it.  We discover later that a rational approach is only one way of determining what is going on in a situation and how we should react. 

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Our gut resides in the solar plexus just above your belly button. When it is functioning well, we can trust its guidance and adjust our actions accordingly. So many of us have a tendency to hold in this area of our bodies.  We take shallow breaths that never reach this part.  But it is in this place that we find the courage to act, to reach out into the world and create change.  When our gut is out of balance, we are timid and out of sync, wishing we had been able to say something although we were only able to say it later when we were alone; wishing we had acted on the opportunity we hadn’t seen until it was past. 
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In order to get the most out of your gut feelings, you may want to focus your attention on it more regularly and make the time to care for it. You can begin right now by taking a deep breath into your belly.  When you exhale, pull your navel in toward your spine so as to empty out completely before taking another deep breath into your belly.  When you empty completely, you release any stagnant energy and create more space to be filled with the fresh, nourishing breath.  

The more you practice this simple, cleansing exercise, the clearer and more communicative your gut feelings will be and the more comfortable you will feel acting on them. 

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

Helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Maintaining energy and confidence levels

The people with whom we have the most contact and hang around with will have either a positive or negative effect on our levels of self-esteem and confidence.  We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around.

How do they make you feel?

Yes, they make me feel the same!  The positive thinking people can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with ‘can do’ vibes that have a knock on effect onto everyone else. They are a joy to be around and bring our energy levels up and increase our self confidence.

winelady

We also know of those people who drain the energy from a room!

It is their perception that they never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – need I go on?

These people have the power to drain our energy and bring us down to their level, a million miles away from the level that WE want to be operating on. But they only have that power if we allow them to.

Some family members can be a lot like this as well,  we can always choose our friends, we can never choose your relatives! We can choose what are prepared to listen to though.

tiredwoman

So what can we do to make sure that the people who we hang around with empower and support what we stand for, rather than bring us down all of the time?

  1. We have the power to choose who we hang around with. Ideally we want happy, vibrant and positive people. If we hang around with those types of people, the negative ones will disappear as they won’t be able to cope.

  2.  If we have good friends who are negative and yet we still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how it feels  – if they are a true friend they will respect this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.

  3. The same can be said with family. Our more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years and years and from different eras. They have learned their behaviours from their parents and grandparents. Appreciate where they have come from and, as in number 2 above, acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.

  4. Remember, that nothing has meaning in our lives except the meaning that we give it.

We are in control of our positivity and negativity, and nobody can take that away from us. 

It is time now for you to take action and to really begin to change your life.  I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.  

I have some availability for new coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates for when you want to get started.  Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Your Ideal Self and Life

Your self-concept is made up of various parts, each of which affects each of the others. Understanding these parts enables you to become nearer to your ideal self.  When you learn to take charge of the development of a new and positive self-concept, you can then control your destiny for the rest of your life.

The first part of the self-concept is your “self-ideal.”  Your self-ideal largely determines the direction in which you are going with your life. It guides the growth and evolution of your character and personality.  Your self-ideal is a combination of all of the qualities and attributes of other people that you most admire.  Your self-ideal is a description of the person you would very much like to be if you could embody the qualities that you most aspire to.

 

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Throughout your life, you have seen and read about the qualities of courage, confidence, compassion, love, fortitude, perseverance, patience, forgiveness and integrity.  Over time, these qualities have instilled in you an ideal to which you aspire. You might not always live up to the very best that you know, but you are constantly striving to be a better person in light of those qualities that you value so highly.  In fact, everything that you do on a day-to-day basis is affected by your comparing your activities with these ideal qualities and your striving to behave consistently with them.

Successful people have very clear ideals for themselves.  Unsuccessful people have fuzzy ideals.  Successful people are very clear about being excellent in every part of their work and their personal lives.  Unsuccessful people don’t give the subject very much thought.  One of the primary characteristics of successful men and women in every walk of life is that they have very clearly defined ideals, and they are very aware of whether or not their current behaviours are consistent with their idealized behaviours.

Part of your ideals are your goals.  As you set higher and more challenging goals, your self-ideal improves and crystallizes.  When you set goals for the kind of person you want to be and the kind of life you want to live, your self-ideal rises and becomes a greater guiding and motivating force in your life.

Perhaps the most important thing for you to realise  is that whatever anybody else has done or become, you can do or become as well.  Improvements in your self-ideal begin in your imagination where there are no limits except the ones that you accept.

What is your ideal vision of the very best person you could possibly become?  How would you behave each day if you were already that person?  Make a picture in your mind of how you would look and stand, how you would appear to other people.  Asking yourself these questions and then living your life consistent with the answers is the first step to creating yourself in your ideal image.

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 Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

  • Dream big dreams – Set big, exciting, challenging goals and ideals for yourself in every part of your life.  Allow yourself to imagine a wonderful life ahead.

  • Think about how you would act if you were an outstanding person in every way.  Create that picture in your mind.  Then, practice being this person, as though you were acting a role in a play. 

You’ll immediately notice a difference in your behaviour.  Practice all of the above.

It is time now for you to take action and to really begin to change your life.  Or you could do nothing.  It is your choice. I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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The difference between our outside voice and our inner voice

I was thinking about how we communicate with each other, and how often we assume we have heard what the other person has said.  But have we?

Everyone has their own internal filtering process to help us choose which parts of our constant inner monologues get voiced outside of our heads. Often that choice is based on what we consider to be polite or appropriate, using subtlety instead of directness to try to get our point across.

Although sometimes the choice is made based on our perceived expectations of the other person. 

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I believe that my best chance of getting what I need is to communicate by converting my inner voice to my outside voice.

This may seem unnecessary sometimes, especially when I think the other person has the same information I am working with.  But I have to remember they also have their own inner voice, evaluating what they hear in light of their own issues and needs.

With so much to consider and sift through, I think I am truly better off if I communicate precisely.  Not only does doing this minimise the chance for misinterpretation, but voicing my thoughts is an act of creation.

I convert my thoughts and imagination to sound, releasing them from my mind into the outside world. This carries energy and intention with it, making my thoughts, wishes and even dreams come true. 

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When we have the courage to speak our minds and use our voice to state what we really want, we take a bold step in making that happen. By removing the fear of what others may think and the expectation of what we think others should understand, we free ourselves and our thoughts and let loose our desires into the world.

Next time you become aware that you  have a choice about how to communicate,  choose to use your outside voice and watch its creative power at work.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Are you being emotionally abused?

If only I had known there were questions to ask myself thirty years ago, I would have been asking them of myself daily.

I spent many years being emotionally abused by my first husband, my parents, my in-laws.  At the time I was totally unaware that it was happening.

For instance I was advised by my parents to stay in a marriage that wasn’t working because they felt I was too young to make a decision on divorce.  I was treated as a possession by my husband who was obsessed with the idea that I was having an affair whilst out shopping with my three small children.  My in-laws constantly told me I wasn’t good enough to be part of their family.

tiredwoman

But now, after working so very hard to find myself and who I really am, I have thought about what was happening to me and how it affected me.

If I knew then what I know now I would be asking these questions of myself:

  • Am I living my life for me or for someone else?
  • Am I really happy with the way I am treated by other people?
  • Is this all there really is for me?
  • Why do I always feel so miserable?
  • Why don’t people listen to what I have to say?
  • I am doing my best to please everyone, why aren’t they pleased?
  • I have no self-esteem, why doesn’t someone appreciate me for being me?
  • I am going through life in a daze, is there more to life than this?
  • I didn’t sign up for this, why am I being treated like an idiot?
  • Am I invited along just to make up the numbers?
  • Is there a way that I can make my life better?

Do any of those questions have some relevancy to your life today? If they do, even if only a couple of them, then you are being emotionally abused.  You are allowing other people to run your life, and you are allowing them to judge you and make decisions on your behalf.

The answer to the last question is yes, there is a way that you can make your life better.  Start living your life for you.  Don’t allow other people to judge you, you are a person in your own right and deserve to live the life you want.  There is nothing at all wrong with disagreeing with someone who you feel is wrong.  The world won’t end if you move away from people who are causing you misery. If you feel you are being invited along to make up the numbers, then politely refuse the invitation.

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You will find that when you change your attitude to other people, they will also change their attitude towards you.  It will take time, but you will notice the difference and start to live the life you want to live and stop the emotional abuse.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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We each have our own perceptions and beliefs – and so we should!

Whether you realise it or not, you are constantly in the process of creating and changing your reality.
You are not truly aware of what someone else’s reality really looks like, and they are not truly aware of what your reality looks like. You are only aware of your own reality and how it looks to you. 

Don’t believe me?  Take a simple scenario.  A road traffic accident, where nobody is hurt, fortunately, when one car hits another car.  There are three witnesses.  A policeman will ask each witness what he or she saw.  There will be three completely different perceptions of the same incident.

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 For instance, one person might state that they saw the first car brake suddenly, so the driver of the car behind (being far too close in their perception) braked really hard but the car was going too fast and ran into the car in front with a loud bang. 

The second person saw the second car approaching the car in front too fast and the driver didn’t appear to even see the car in front and ran straight into it without braking. 

The third person witnessed the first car slow down too much so the driver of the car behind (which wasn’t going too fast) couldn’t quite stop in time (though they tried) and hit the car in front really hard.

 Three different perceptions of the same accident – each quite ‘real’ to those witnesses – but significantly dissimilar. 

 How you perceive your life and everything around you will differ dramatically from other people’s perceptions.  Your reality is totally unique to you.

How you think about your life, how you see yourself in the mirror, and what you believe is happening to you at any given moment, will be the reality that exists for you.

 So what are your beliefs?  They are your views, judgements, guiding principles and decisions about yourself, family and friends, communities, organisations, employers and everyone and everything else you come into contact with.

 Your beliefs filter everything you see, hear and feel around you and, as a result, determine the meaning you attach to any event. Your beliefs act as self-fulfilling prophecies.

If you think that you can’t do something and then find it extremely difficult to do and give up trying, you have successfully fulfilled your belief that you can’t do it.  What would have happened if you had believed that you could do it?  Would your reality have been different?

Your beliefs, whether they be limiting or empowering, determine your actions, and your actions in turn verify your beliefs. Over time, as you collect more evidence to prove your beliefs, your beliefs become your reality.

Your beliefs operate in your subconscious mind and influence your conscious mind, they affect your thoughts and behaviour. Whilst you are aware of many of your beliefs, in general, your most influential beliefs are stored away in your subconscious mind.

There are some beliefs you view as absolute truths and never question – that is just the way the world is! A change in your beliefs can have a major impact on how you live your life and the behaviours you manifest.

Once you believe in something, you tend to ignore opposite examples and accept only those events that reinforce that belief.

 flat world

As Henry Ford, industrialist, said: ‘Whether you believe you can or believe you can’t, you are probably right.’ How right he was.

Do you currently have beliefs that keep your reality comfortable and safe and that prevent you from exploring your true potential? 

Do you choose to acknowledge only the reality that is predicted by your limiting beliefs and then use these observations as proof that your current reality is indeed true? 

Is it time to step out of your comfort zone and set sail into the unknown?  To push the boundaries of what you think you know and discover new lands and opportunities – to challenge yourself to create your new reality?

Make a note of the limiting beliefs you are aware of.  Really give this some thought.  You will probably find a lot more than you originally thought if you keep delving deeper into your thoughts.

 I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Let go of regret

Holding on to regret is like dragging the weight of the past with us everywhere we go.  It drains our energy, leaving us less available for life in the present because we are constantly feeding our old issues.  

Doing this can cause illness the same way watering a dead plant creates decay.  We know that something new and beautiful can grow in its place, if we only prepare the soil and plant the right seeds.

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We also know that we create our lives from our thoughts, so dwelling on the past may actually recreate a situation in our lives where we are forced to make the same choices again and again. We can choose to move on right now by applying what we have learned to the present.

Forgiveness is the soothing balm that can heal regret. If we can forgive ourselves and any other people involved, we will find that a great weight is lifted and we begin to feel better in ourselves.

One of the ways I have of doing this is by replaying the event in my mind, a bit like watching a film. I choose a new ending using all the new information and learning that I now have. I imagine that I have actually gone back into the past and made this change, and then I say goodbye to it. I release my former self and anyone else involved with a hug and bring the forgiveness and love back with me to the present.

Since we are usually our harshest critics, it is amazing how powerfully healing it can be to offer ourselves love.

Four Women Friends at the Beach
Keeping our minds and our energy fully in the present allows us to fuel our physical and emotional healing and well-being today. This action frees our energy to create the dreams we dream for the future. By taking responsibility and action in the present, we can release our hold on the past and let that weight go.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Underneath the noise – Hearing the whisper

You may have noticed that when you want to speak to someone in a noisy, crowded room, the best thing to do is lean close and whisper. Yelling in an attempt to be heard over the noise of the room generally hurts your throat and adds to the chaos.

Have you noticed that you inner voice whispers to you all the time? If we want to hear it, no matter what is going on around us, or even inside us, we can always tune in to that soft voice underneath the surrounding noise.

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It is generally true that voices in our heads that make us feel panicky or afraid are of questionable authority. They may be voices we associate with our childhood or from our culture, and they only speak half-truths.

The other voice that whispers reassurances that everything is fundamentally okay simply delivers its message with quiet confidence. Once we hear it, we know it speaks the truth.

We will find that our own communications in the world begin to be influenced by the quiet certainty of this voice.  As we align ourselves more with this quiet confidence, we become an extension of the whisper, penetrating the noise of the world and creating more peace, trust and confidence.

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I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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