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Maintaining energy and confidence levels

The people with whom we have the most contact and hang around with will have either a positive or negative effect on our levels of self-esteem and confidence.  We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around.

How do they make you feel?

Yes, they make me feel the same!  The positive thinking people can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with ‘can do’ vibes that have a knock on effect onto everyone else. They are a joy to be around and bring our energy levels up and increase our self confidence.

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We also know of those people who drain the energy from a room!

It is their perception that they never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – need I go on?

These people have the power to drain our energy and bring us down to their level, a million miles away from the level that WE want to be operating on. But they only have that power if we allow them to.

Some family members can be a lot like this as well,  we can always choose our friends, we can never choose your relatives! We can choose what are prepared to listen to though.

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So what can we do to make sure that the people who we hang around with empower and support what we stand for, rather than bring us down all of the time?

  1. We have the power to choose who we hang around with. Ideally we want happy, vibrant and positive people. If we hang around with those types of people, the negative ones will disappear as they won’t be able to cope.

  2.  If we have good friends who are negative and yet we still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how it feels  – if they are a true friend they will respect this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.

  3. The same can be said with family. Our more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years and years and from different eras. They have learned their behaviours from their parents and grandparents. Appreciate where they have come from and, as in number 2 above, acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.

  4. Remember, that nothing has meaning in our lives except the meaning that we give it.

We are in control of our positivity and negativity, and nobody can take that away from us. 

It is time now for you to take action and to really begin to change your life.  I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.  

I have some availability for new coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates for when you want to get started.  Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Forgiveness – Releasing the past

Forgiveness is such an important subject that I feel compelled to spend some time explaining its significance. When we hold something unforgiven inside, we are nurturing anger, hatred and resentment or maybe even guilt. These emotions lock us into the moment, continually reliving events.  Over time all this emotion can become suppressed into the subconscious, but they are still there, consuming our mental and life energy.

Until we release ourselves from this cycle, it may prove impossible to move forward. It really does not matter what the issue was, whether slight or life-shatteringly traumatic. If you want to move on you must let it go. To do this you must forgive. To forgive someone does not mean that that you condone their behaviour simply that you forgive them, and release them. By releasing and forgiving them, you release yourself.

Some people hold onto their anger, refusing to forgive or let go.  They will never move on until they do. In fact, quite the reverse, by allowing such emotions to ferment inside, they grow and can become all consuming, their whole life becoming defined by whatever the event was. They are no longer in control of their life or living the life they want. They are living a life that is directed by their anger and hurt.

A grateful attitude helps in times of extreme stress

 

How our lives are, is often a reflection of our reactions to the ups and downs of life.  If we choose to accept the good and release the bad, we are able to maintain control over our lives and keep our sense of direction.  If however we  focus on the bad things that have happened to us, then these will simply grow, continually manifesting our own dark thoughts and divert us from seeking what we really want.

If you or your life is “stuck”, then it is well worth looking back to see if there is anything unforgiven in your past.  Remember to forgive everyone, especially yourself.  So many people trudge through their lives burdened with guilt for this or that, forgive yourself  and let it go.

Remember, life is in the now, the past is already finished and dead and cannot be changed. Nothing you can do now, can ever change the past, yet it is amazing how many people squander their emotional and life energy, consumed with anger or guilt about the past.

In this moment now, you have your power – the power to make your choices, take your action, to make a difference.  You have no power in the past and you have no assurance of power in the future. If you want to feel free, released from the past  then you must forgive.  Forgive everyone, especially yourself. I know how difficult it is to overcome our natural and very human feelings of anger, guilt, resentment and fear. The basis of them can seem, and may well be, completely justified, you may be completely right to have these emotions, and it is OK to experience them.  However, these emotions damage your ability to move on, you must accept your emotions, but then be prepared to let them go. To release yourself, you must forgive. Until you do you will remain the victim with your life locked into all those negative emotions.

 

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Look around you, do you know anyone like that?  Some tragedy or injustice has been suffered and now the entire life of that person is defined by their anger and resentment. Every positive thought, every inspired moment, all of life’s little pleasures are subsumed with their overwhelming feelings of anger, resentment, even desire for revenge. No matter how justified their emotions are, what good is it doing them? The past can never be changed. Life is full of tragedy and joy, it is not the events of life so much as how we respond to them that defines how joyous and successful our lives are.

It is time now for you to take action and to really begin to change your life.  Or you could do nothing.  It is your choice. I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Listening to my own advice – a well earned break

It was 4am last Sunday when the alarm clock roused me from a deep sleep.  I had to get up and get ready to catch a ferry to the mainland at 6.45am.  But first, the caravan needed to be retrieved from the farm where it is stored, about 12 miles away.

Bleary eyed I showered and dressed, made a hot drink and set about loading up the van with the stuff we needed for our short break.  I had catered for our trip with food for our breakfasts, some lunches and some dinners.  We would be eating out in the evening on at least one occasion.

So off we went to hitch up the caravan and set off to catch the ferry.

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Everything went to plan, the four sets of gates on the farm were still firmly closed.  We managed to negotiate all of them, closing them behind us.  Arrived at the ferry terminal with time to spare.  Feeling hungry now, looking forward to a hearty breakfast on the ferry.

On arrival at the mainland we disembarked and set off for Redhill aerodrome for the first of our planned excursions, a flight over London in a helicopter.  The sun was shining, there were loads of people watching the planes and helicopters taking off and landing.  There was the danger of low cloud and rain coming in from the west, but that was going to be later on in the day.  Our flight was going ahead, but it was going to be the last one of the day as the pilot had to get the helicopter back to it’s home before the weather changed.

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The flight was glorious and over too quickly.  We flew over the Gherkin, the Shard, saw HMS Illustrious on her tour around the UK before she is scrapped.  There were tiny cows in the fields, weeny people playing golf (I never knew there were so many golf courses in London). And all too soon we were heading back to Redhill.  The helicopter was flying at 125 mph, but it didn’t feel like it.  It was comfortable, enjoyable and I loved it.  My husband loved it too, which is just as well as it was his anniversary present from me.

We landed back at Redhill and collected our van and caravan and set off to find out caravan pitch for the next few days.  We travelled back to Winchester which was to be our base.  The certified site was fabulous.  It was a small farm with a few horses, there were five pitches and that was it.  We had electric hook up and water.  We were set.  The farmer and his wife were lovely and couldn’t have been more helpful.  They found us telephone numbers for local taxis and made us feel really welcome.

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I cooked a roast chicken, roast potatoes and vegetables for our dinner and it was lovely to just sit and watch the horses whilst enjoying our evening meal.

The next day we planned to go to Southampton as we had tickets for the Rocky Horror Show.  We left around 11am and took a taxi to the station and got a train to Southampton station.  The free bus took us to West Quay shopping centre.  We had lunch in the John Lewis restaurant with some wine, since we weren’t driving anywhere.  A wander around the shopping centre reminded me how much I dislike shopping.  We had several cups of coffee during the afternoon and then set off to catch the free bus back to Southampton Station. Over the bridge and a short walk away is the Mayflower Theatre where we had a table booked for our evening meal.

A lovely meal it was too.  It was delicious, presented beautifully and the service was great.  Ready now for the Rocky Horror Show. We have seen the film several times, and seen a stage version many years ago.  Would it be good, would it the same?

No it wasn’t the same, it was even better. The whole thing was full of energy.  There were a lot of the members of the audience dressed up as various characters from the show and a lot of interaction between the audience and the narrator, who was Philip Franks.

Thoroughly enjoyed it, the audience was up and dancing and the atmosphere was brilliant.  Then we walked back to the station and got a train back to Winchester and taxi back to our caravan.

The next day we went to the Wimbledon Museum, my Christmas present.  A trip around the museum and going on to Centre Court and Court No. 1. Taxi to the station, train to Wimbledon and, because it was raining, a taxi to the Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club.

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Of course it rained, as you would expect at Wimbledon.  We were taken around a large part of the site, into the covered walkways between Centre Court and Court No. 1.  Past the players’ restaraunt, through the players’ reception area.  Onto Court No. 1.  We were not allowed anywhere near the grass, it had it’s own security guard to make sure nobody touched it.  It was of course pristine.  The edges were perfectly shaped, the grass trimmed to perfection.  We sat in the press seats and could see all around.

Then we went to Centre Court.  Again not allowed anywhere near the grass, which also had it’s own security guard.  We were allowed to sit in the press seats again, and we could see the BBC commentary box – basically a portacabin – where people like John McEnroe, Boris Becker et al describe the action.

There is a 360 degree pod on Centre Court where you can get an all round view of the stadium.  It is removed for Wimbledon fortnight for obvious reasons.

We dined in the restaurant and of course had to have strawberries and cream. Well it would have been rude not to whilst at Wimbledon.  A visit to the museum revealed some fascinating facts and showed the clothes women used to wear whilst playing, including their bustles.

Back on the train to Winchester. This time I cooked spaghetti bolognese for our evening meal.  Mmmmmm.

Our final trip was to a brewery and winery near Henley.  We drove there this time.  I agreed to drive back as it was my hubby’s Christmas present.  So I tasted a soft drink whilst he tasted the wines, beers and liqueurs.

First a trip around the brewing processes, learning how they mix the hops with the gloop for the beer, and how they harvest the grapes and press them and bottle them ready to sell.

Very interesting indeed and of course there was the tasting of half a dozen wines, several beers and a few liqueurs.  A very enjoyable couple of hours.  I drove back to Winchester and we enjoyed our evening meal of pie and chips.

Thursday we set off for home.

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A very enjoyable few days fitting in our various trips and making use of our caravan for the first time this year.  It will have several more outings in June, July and August and it will be going as far afield as Scotland, Henley and Manchester.

I have learned to practice what I teach and coach, and that is to have time for myself.  If you find that difficult, then we can work together on that.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Is it time for you to take action?

As a very busy coach I am lucky enough to be in a position where, on a daily basis, the fascinating people I work with tell me all about their big dreams, grand plans and compelling goals.  Dreams, plans and goals that they have possibly never shared with  another living soul.  There are some amazing potential futures out there for these people!

What will be the deciding factors in whether these big dreams remain as dreams or become  wonderful and vibrant realities?  The factors are – clarity, vision, belief, motivation, support – and they all play a part.  But the deciding factor in each and every case is – will this person take action?  Will they act upon what they want and work towards making it happen?

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Frequently people don’t realise their ambitions and make their dreams a reality because their aspirations remain as something that they think about, rather than something that they do or create.  Having put all that effort into the thinking, dreaming and planning they find all sorts of reasons not to do anything to make things happen for them.

Interestingly, the most common reason that I hear for inaction is ‘no time’.  How often do you hear people say “If only I had the time”?

This time-poor mentality is very common, so much so that we often appear to believe we have run out of time, or that there is literally none to spare because it’s already been spent on the other stuff in our lives.  Time is ‘taken up’ by so many things that  when it comes to the big goals and ambitions that require action, we don’t feel we have any left.

Added to that, the nature of some of these wonderful dreams that people have ( retraining for a new career perhaps) mean that they can take a certain amount of time to come to fruition, and there can be a sense of, “but it would just take so long!”.

The thing is though, time is passing anyway.  Regardless of whether or not we take action, whether or not we use it constructively and make it count, it is going by at the same rate.  The real key to success is to decide to use it in the best way possible for what is most important to us.

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We allow so many less important things to drain our time when we could choose at any moment to use it in a much better way, in such a way that we make progress and start heading towards where we want to be.  So that in a year or two years time, we’ll be in a different place to the place we are in now.  Well on our way to one of those compelling potential futures.  Or perhaps by that time it will be our reality.

Is it time for you to take action? Do you have a dream or an ambition in which you’ve invested lots of thinking and planning time, but just haven’t taken  any action to achieve it?

Ask yourself:

  • What needs to happen for me to achieve this?  What are all the steps?
  • What is stopping me from taking action?  How long will I allow these things to stop me?
  • What is the one thing I could do in the next 24 hours to know that I have started taking action?
  • Will you do it?

It is time now for you to take action and to really begin to change your life. I will help you to do that. Get in touch today.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Are you being emotionally abused?

If only I had known there were questions to ask myself thirty years ago, I would have been asking them of myself daily.

I spent many years being emotionally abused by my first husband, my parents, my in-laws.  At the time I was totally unaware that it was happening.

For instance I was advised by my parents to stay in a marriage that wasn’t working because they felt I was too young to make a decision on divorce.  I was treated as a possession by my husband who was obsessed with the idea that I was having an affair whilst out shopping with my three small children.  My in-laws constantly told me I wasn’t good enough to be part of their family.

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But now, after working so very hard to find myself and who I really am, I have thought about what was happening to me and how it affected me.

If I knew then what I know now I would be asking these questions of myself:

  • Am I living my life for me or for someone else?
  • Am I really happy with the way I am treated by other people?
  • Is this all there really is for me?
  • Why do I always feel so miserable?
  • Why don’t people listen to what I have to say?
  • I am doing my best to please everyone, why aren’t they pleased?
  • I have no self-esteem, why doesn’t someone appreciate me for being me?
  • I am going through life in a daze, is there more to life than this?
  • I didn’t sign up for this, why am I being treated like an idiot?
  • Am I invited along just to make up the numbers?
  • Is there a way that I can make my life better?

Do any of those questions have some relevancy to your life today? If they do, even if only a couple of them, then you are being emotionally abused.  You are allowing other people to run your life, and you are allowing them to judge you and make decisions on your behalf.

The answer to the last question is yes, there is a way that you can make your life better.  Start living your life for you.  Don’t allow other people to judge you, you are a person in your own right and deserve to live the life you want.  There is nothing at all wrong with disagreeing with someone who you feel is wrong.  The world won’t end if you move away from people who are causing you misery. If you feel you are being invited along to make up the numbers, then politely refuse the invitation.

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You will find that when you change your attitude to other people, they will also change their attitude towards you.  It will take time, but you will notice the difference and start to live the life you want to live and stop the emotional abuse.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Is the feeling of fear real?

The feeling of fear. What is it? Can you describe it?

When I ask this of myself and others, the replies are the thoughts people have about fear and not a description of the “feeling” of fear.

That is not unexpected, after all it is the left brain’s, rational/analytical job to put into words feelings that arise from somewhere in our bodies, the subconscious.

Instinct, intuition, imagination and everything else that’s in the right brain doesn’t generally speak to us.

The subconscious mind speaks and thinks in pictures, senses and sensations, urges, vibrations, waves, patterns, connections and possibly in other intangible ways.

So when you talk about fear you are actually talking about your thinking.  You are talking about the mind’s attempt to translate your physiological responses through thought and language and how it tries to make rational sense.

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I believe your emotions are just that, authentic feelings being expressed in thought.  And fear is just such an emotion.

That’s what is making me think that fear doesn’t really exist in any other dimension of our being.  I believe it is possible that there is no such thing as fear outside of the subconscious mind. That the feeling of fear is not real. The case has been made in the past that fear is necessary for self-preservation. But is it?

The fight or flight survival response is an occurrence that happens without thought. It really doesn’t have the time to be otherwise.  Look at something you are ‘scared of’, a spider, a bear, a clown. Do you feel fear or are you thinking fear?

If you were to walk around the corner and come face to face with a huge grizzly bear, you would definitely feel something right away.  But is that feeling fear?

If you listen to people who have encountered survival situations, whether they be stopping someone falling off a cliff, ripping the door off a burning car, disarming a man with a knife, they will say their sense in that moment was not fear. They were too busy with their actions.

Fear after the act, yes.

We have all felt that thing that our mind has labelled fear. But is that what it really is?

Maybe not.

FEAR =

 False

Expectations

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Think about the interview scenario:  You are sitting waiting to go into the room, you think ‘what if there are ten people on the panel’, ‘what if they ask me questions I can’t answer’, ‘what if they are all wearing suits’.

What are you actually afraid of?  You are not afraid of the panel, you are not afraid of the questions, you are not afraid of the suits.  You are not afraid of the reality, but of the negative expectation, or thoughts, of what you imagine might happen next.

 New for 2013. From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again

But if any of those things did really upset you that much, you would take flight and there really wouldn’t be any thought involved at all.  Your intuition and instinct rule your fight or flight response.  Only 2% of our fears actually occur, the other 98% are just imagined.

Trust in your intuition and don’t let false expectations drive your life.

Do you want to remain stuck and miserable with the fear of making changes in your life? 

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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How do I know I am in a relationship that is bad for me?

Are you really not sure if the relationship you are in is bad for you?  Do you really think you are making a mountain our of a mole hill? 


There are many tell-tale signs of toxic relationships, but I am going to mention just some of them.  

I know that when I was allowing myself to stay in a toxic relationship that my self-esteem was non-existent; and one of the tell-tales that it really was as bad as I thought it might be was he told me that I was useless, nothing like as good as his mother and I would never be able to have a life of my own.

Here are a few of the tell-tale signs:


You are not allowed, or discouraged, to see any of your friends. So you turn down all invitations because it really doesn’t seem worth the hassle and ear bashing that will result later on. And so you lose your friends.

When you do manage to go out with any remaining friends, your partner phones your friend to make sure you are there after about an hour and makes you feel awkward.

Your partner decides you won’t wear make up because they don’t like it.

You feel like you’re always treading on eggshells around them.

You find them listening to all your conversations on the phone just in case you say something they don’t like.

Your partner moans and complains when things don’t go according to their plan; this can range from a child being ill to you not being dressed as they think you should be.

Your partner criticises your family whilst expecting you to love theirs.

Your partner puts you down not only at home but in front of other people when you are out together.

Your partner is really pleased with themselves when they have carried the washing basket into the kitchen – “look what I’ve done FOR YOU.”  They never do the washing though, that is your job.

You have begun to lose your sense of self and your self-esteem is non-existent.


Does of any of this sound familiar? Then you are in a toxic relationship, one that is bad for you. You can choose to remain in it as it is, or you can do something to change it.  You don’t have to continue living a life where your confidence and self-esteem are routinely undermined.  

You can choose to leave the relationship, or you can choose to change it.  Either way, you will have to change something about yourself. That takes courage and begins with the first step.  Seeking help. I am the help that you need. Get in touch today.

 

Maggie Currie

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My achievements and what I foresee for myself

I have accomplished so much that it is hard to know where to begin.  I have become a much more rounded life coach with the training and coaching I have undertaken over the years.  This has built on my already considerable expertise as a coach and has allowed me to grow so much more as a person too.

An even bigger accomplishment for me is to let go of my ego mind and have a coach (in fact lots of coaches) just for me.  In the past my ego mind has told me that I didn’t need a coach because I am already one, so what could I learn?  This accomplishment has been a revelation to me and I have learned so much from my coaches this year and grown as a person and a coach myself. My wonderful coaches have taught me that there is still so much to learn in this life and I am enjoying all the learning.

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I have accomplished coaching my fellow coaches so they have grown and spread their wings too. My expertise and advice has been invaluable to them.  I have also accomplished finding my voice and speaking up for myself so that I am heard.  I have considerable expertise and a lot to offer and I have accomplished letting people know that.

My book “What you believe creates your reality” is continuing to sell all around the world and I know that there are people who have changed their lives because they have read it and taken action.  I have accomplished some amazing life changes for people through this medium – I know that one person realised that they weren’t in the right relationship and they have ended it and moved on, another person has changed direction completely, been to NASA for 3 months and learned about what she wanted rather than what others wanted her to learn, I also know that my book has been read on five continents and been taken on cruise ships and sent to relatives and friends all around the world. That is some accomplishment.

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My book is ideal to read if you are going through divorce, life trauma, uncertainty, as it will show you how to be you and to create the life you want.

I have worked with many people as a volunteer coach and mentor through Young Enterprise, The Prince’s Trust and Mentor-Net to help them achieve their goals and aspirations.

I was hired to coach a young man who was despondent because he had no job and he had lost confidence in himself.  He is married and is a brilliant web designer and computer techy.  I coached him for just one session and a few months later asked him for an update.  He told me that he felt so much more confident in himself and was getting out there in the employment market again.  I was told this week that he had got a job, not just any job! He is now working for Apple.  That is some achievement for him and for me.

I am currently the resident coach at Community Action Isle of Wight and help people to regain their confidence so they can get back to work.  I am loving this.

I am also the resident coach on an internationally networked radio programme entitled Calder’s Confessions.  This is quite a challenge but I am loving it.

I shall continue to coach and be coached and to grow even more as a person and help them to grow too. This is a magical year.

Where do you see yourself? Are you having difficulty getting through a life trauma, divorce etc.?

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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