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Friends come and go for a reason

I was considering why it is that friends come into our lives and some of them go out of our lives again.

There are many reasons but for me I think that some people fall away because of the changes I have made to myself.   I have learned so much about myself that I was unaware of. For instance I have stuffed emotions and feelings down because I was conditioned not to show emotion or share feelings.

Four Women Friends at the Beach

When I was in a toxic relationship I had very few friends, and those I did have were not that close.  I wasn’t allowed to get close to anybody.  Getting divorced and learning to live my life as me has been a steep learning curve.

I have learned how to express my feelings, get close to people and keep others at arm’s length.  Now that I am able to express emotions and share my feelings other people may find this unacceptable to them. And that is okay. What I am comfortable with is not always comfortable for everyone else. And that may be why some friends have moved away.

The friends I have currently are wonderful. Some live nearby, some live on different continents, but I am grateful to them all for their friendship and support. I do my best to support all my friends, it may be in a big way or in a small way.

Dealing with emotional abuse

I am grateful for all the friends I have had, still have and those I have yet to meet for their contributions to my life.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Who do I love?

There was a time when I didn’t love myself because I didn’t feel worthy. I was in a toxic relationship that drained all emotion from me and left me a shell of the person I really was.

A grateful attitude helps in times of extreme stress

Today that is so very different. I have rejected that relationship, divorced, moved on and remarried. The situation now is so very different.

There are many people who I love, and in many different ways too.

I love my husband of 28 years, Kelvin, he is my rock, lover, friend, confidante and most of all my support through life’s ups and downs.

I love my mother for being who she is, for bringing me up to the best of her ability and for being there when I needed her.

I love my children, all 3 of them equally even though I have very little contact with my sons – their choice.

I love my 5 granddaughters and 1 grandson, all of them equally. I have met 5 of them, have never met one and, have no contact with 3 of them. The choice of their parents.

I love my friends in deed  who are always there for me to encourage, compliment, advise and listen.

New for 2013. From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again

I love my friends who are there for me always. I don’t have to ask, they are just there. Even if I don’t see them for months at a time.

I love me for being the rock and support for my husband, for being there for my mum when she needs me, for being there for my children whether they need me or not, for being there for my grandchildren whether they need me or not and for being there for my friends in deed and my friends.

I love me for being me and for being prepared to develop even more into me, to take care of me and to continue to move forward in my life.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Grounded, meditated and living!

This week has been very constructive for me and I have delved into new things that will benefit me in the long term, as well as being enjoyable whilst they are happening.

For instance, I had my first Tai Chi class this week for a very long time. I think the last class was about 5 years ago. I say class, it involved standing still for half an hour, doing an exercise for 10 minutes, warming down and then sitting on the floor drinking stewed green tea for half an hour. Not what I would call inspiring or useful. I stuck it for a few months, then gave up.

This week’s class was so totally different and I learned more in an hour and a half than I did in all the previous months. And today I am aching, so it must be doing me good.

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I learned how to ground myself and how we are all connected to the ground. I learned that I have to be in the moment to get the full benefit of Tai Chi as it is all about self-awareness and being aware of where you place your feet, hands etc. There are 4 people in the class, so we all get individual instruction and help from the tutor.

The tutor is someone I coached a few years ago because he was overwhelmed with work, travel, admin etc. He didn’t know where to turn and he was dreading getting up each day. During our one session together he came to the realisation, with my deft questioning, that he needed someone to help him with the admin side of his business. He has gone from strength to strength.

This is his testimonial to me: “Thanks for the notes and your time yesterday. The idea of getting help was a major breakthrough for me and I am laughing at myself and in total disbelief that I had to be led by you to that very obvious solution!!! I guess you must get that all the time though. Getting help will open up the possibilities of what I can achieve enormously and I actually woke up this morning raring to go instead of dreading the day’s work.”

It is so good to be appreciated and get results for my clients.  That is why I love my work and am so passionate about it.

I also began meditating today. I enjoyed it, even though it was only 10 minutes and was surprised at how effective it is. I found some meditation music that I like and it lasts for about 10 minutes. It is very conducive to meditating, something I have always wanted to learn, and now I am. The music can be found at http://www.omharmonics.com.

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I worked with one of  my client this week and she is learning so much about herself and how she can connect with her emotions and feelings. This is something we all need to do to ensure we are living our lives authentically. It is also something I learned going through divorce and in the aftermath.  I had lost the real me in the divorce process and it took me a long time to find me again.  This is why I love working with people because I don’t want them to ever be lost to themselves like I was.

So –  grounded, meditated and living.  A good place to be!

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Who is the real me?

What does finding the real me really mean? Well to me it means I have uncovered the real sense of my self. I am able to make my own decisions without being manipulated by other people. I am an individual person in my own right and not a clone of someone else. I have re-established a connection my inner self.

For years I was conditioned to not feel, to not show emotion, to not question, to do as I was told. Therefore I hid my feelings and emotions very well.

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I have survived a toxic relationship where I was emotionally and psychologically abused.  I wasn’t allowed to be me, I had to be who my husband thought I ought to be.  I had to subservient, obedient, not talk to other people, be his possession.  Fortunately I gained the courage to divorce him after 12 years.

I have learned through working on myself that is totally not me. I have burrowed deep down inside me and brought out those suppressed feelings that were stuffed down for so long. I do have feelings, they can be hurt and then they hurt I am now able to acknowledge the hurt, feel the hurt and work through the hurt to get to a place where I have dealt with the hurt.

This works for a whole range of feelings, joy, happiness, surprise, sadness etc. I have learned to acknowledge and recognise those feelings, to embrace them and work with them.

I have learned that I do have emotions and it is okay to express these emotions. There is absolutely nothing wrong with me when I express my emotions. I am allowed to cry, I am allowed to let people see my cry. I am allowed to laugh, cry, scream, shout, whatever my emotions dictate. That is me, the real me.

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My conditioning is being slowly changed and I am constantly learning. I am no longer disconnected from the sense of myself, I can make my own decisions and not feel guilty about doing so, I am an individual and proud of it.

I have discovered that I am not average in any way whatsoever. I am a successful businesswoman who has set up and is running two successful businesses. I am an exceptionally intuitive and good coach. I am a successful author of two books which are selling worldwide and changing lives.

I have discovered that I do have a voice and that it is heard. I am seen and heard, I am learning to express my feelings and emotions and I am continuing to learn.

I have a place in this world, and that place is to help people to change their lives, to be able to be confident and able to live their authentic lives and to learn to love themselves and others.

I am on a continuing journey and learning more and more about the authentic me as I go. There are a lot more layers to unveil I am sure.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Self worth

My view of my self worth has been very low recently.  I hadn’t actually realised it until today when I read the following message I received this morning from Abraham:

‘Worthiness, in very simple terms, means I have found a way to let the Energy reach me, the Energy that is natural, reach me. Worthiness, or unworthiness, is something that is pronounced upon you by you. You are the only one that can deem yourself worthy or unworthy. You are the only one who can love yourself into a state of allowing, or hate yourself in a state of disallowing. There is not something wrong with you, nor is there something wrong with one who is not loving you. You are all just, in the moment, practicing the art of not allowing, or the art of resisting.’

I was indeed practising the art of not allowing – not allowing myself to receive the abundance that I so truly deserve.  Somehow I had become blocked and was feeling that I was not at all worthy.  My skills were of no use to anyone and therefore nobody new would be coming to me for coaching.

Dealing with emotional abuse

Fortunately, this missive from Abraham resonated with me on many levels.  It made me remember just how self destructive negative thinking can be. I know this is true, but I am just as liable to negative thoughts as anyone else, although I do endeavour to keep thinking positively as it benefits me, and my clients, so much more.

I thought about this for a little while and it came to me that I have not been giving myself the recognition that I so richly deserve.  I have been hiding my light under a bushel and that is now going to stop.  It also made me stop and think about how I felt going through divorce.  I felt even worse then, I had no self esteem or feelings or self worth.  I thought I would never be able to hold my head up again, let alone change my life.  But I did change my life and the way I see myself and it has made such a huge difference to my life.

New for 2013. From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again

I work with fabulous coaches who love and support me, teach and coach me, learn from me and are coached by me.  I have so much to offer my current and potential clients and my passion is in coaching people to become who they really are.

With modern technology anyone in the world can access coaching via Skype, phone, instant messaging and so many other ways.

My own self worth has increased dramatically since I began writing this blog and will continue to do so, especially as I remind myself of all my successes. That doesn’t mean I have a big head, I don’t, I know my own self worth and I am proud of it. I am worthy and I shall not be wasting my time or energy on negativity any longer.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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My achievements and what I foresee for myself

I have accomplished so much that it is hard to know where to begin.  I have become a much more rounded life coach with the training and coaching I have undertaken over the years.  This has built on my already considerable expertise as a coach and has allowed me to grow so much more as a person too.

An even bigger accomplishment for me is to let go of my ego mind and have a coach (in fact lots of coaches) just for me.  In the past my ego mind has told me that I didn’t need a coach because I am already one, so what could I learn?  This accomplishment has been a revelation to me and I have learned so much from my coaches this year and grown as a person and a coach myself. My wonderful coaches have taught me that there is still so much to learn in this life and I am enjoying all the learning.

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I have accomplished coaching my fellow coaches so they have grown and spread their wings too. My expertise and advice has been invaluable to them.  I have also accomplished finding my voice and speaking up for myself so that I am heard.  I have considerable expertise and a lot to offer and I have accomplished letting people know that.

My book “What you believe creates your reality” is continuing to sell all around the world and I know that there are people who have changed their lives because they have read it and taken action.  I have accomplished some amazing life changes for people through this medium – I know that one person realised that they weren’t in the right relationship and they have ended it and moved on, another person has changed direction completely, been to NASA for 3 months and learned about what she wanted rather than what others wanted her to learn, I also know that my book has been read on five continents and been taken on cruise ships and sent to relatives and friends all around the world. That is some accomplishment.

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My book is ideal to read if you are going through divorce, life trauma, uncertainty, as it will show you how to be you and to create the life you want.

I have worked with many people as a volunteer coach and mentor through Young Enterprise, The Prince’s Trust and Mentor-Net to help them achieve their goals and aspirations.

I was hired to coach a young man who was despondent because he had no job and he had lost confidence in himself.  He is married and is a brilliant web designer and computer techy.  I coached him for just one session and a few months later asked him for an update.  He told me that he felt so much more confident in himself and was getting out there in the employment market again.  I was told this week that he had got a job, not just any job! He is now working for Apple.  That is some achievement for him and for me.

I am currently the resident coach at Community Action Isle of Wight and help people to regain their confidence so they can get back to work.  I am loving this.

I am also the resident coach on an internationally networked radio programme entitled Calder’s Confessions.  This is quite a challenge but I am loving it.

I shall continue to coach and be coached and to grow even more as a person and help them to grow too. This is a magical year.

Where do you see yourself? Are you having difficulty getting through a life trauma, divorce etc.?

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Looking after me and manifesting for me

I have been offered opportunities this week and having investigated what they would involve.  I have accepted one and am considering another.

I was offered the position of tutor for an online life coaching programme that offers a diploma in life coaching and since I have done this course myself and passed it successfully (admittedly some years ago) I know what it involves and the basics of the course itself.

My job will be to mark the students’ work when it is sent to me, to offer constructive criticism and help them to become good life coaches. I will get paid for every one that I mark and an additional amount for any further communication with any of the students. Reimbursed for postage etc. So this will give me a regular income which is good.

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The other opportunity is for using my coaching/training skills in a different way. Someone is in the process of setting up a new charity which is aiming at helping women to move forward in their lives following divorce, emotional abuse, addiction etc. I had a telephone conversation with the lady concerned yesterday and have sent her some information about my background, qualifications etc., so she can get a feel for me.

I am keeping my mind open on this one, as I have other commitments and I want to give my best to them, and if it means spending too much time away then I shall decline.

It is wonderful to have these opportunities and to notice them when they are offered. It is also good that I am considering my options and taking care of me first.  This is essential and not selfish.  If I don’t look after me then I will be letting myself down.

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I believe I am manifesting income and that I am manifesting exactly what I need when I need it. I believe I am learning every day more and more about myself and I am loving this journey of discovery.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Mixed emotions – why this is good for me! And for you.

I have some mixed emotions today. I am feeling better in myself intermittently, this flu bug is very annoying and keeps making me feel tired and irritable. Sometimes I think it is lifting, and then it drags me down again. I know it is only temporary, I am fighting it and it won’t beat me.

I am feeling frustrated with the leaseholders of my flat. They are driving me mad! I live in a lovely flat that I own, it is upstairs on the first floor (second floor if you are in USA) and I have beautiful views of the Solent, the mainland, green fields, trees and the ever changing occupants of the fields –  cows, sheep,  pheasants wander through, a horse grazes, wild birds land and take off.

Now I understand fire regulations and the need for them, what I don’t understand is the constant hassle I receive from the leaseholders. I recently replaced my armchairs and offered the old ones to the lovely lady who does my cleaning, Shirley. She was delighted as her daughter is moving into a flat and needs furniture and she said she would collect them as soon as she could arrange it. So I put them out on the communal landing overnight, until she could come and get them. Would you believe that the fire inspection officer came round yesterday and has given me an enforcement notice saying that if I don’t remove everything from the landing within 24 hours they will be taken away.

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Fortunately Shirley came and collected the chairs last night so this is not a problem now. But it seems that I am not being allowed to live my life any more. I have had to clear out the loft because it is claimed that storing anything in the loft is a fire hazard. When you consider that I have downsized twice from a 4 bedroom house, to a 3 bedroom house to a 2 bedroom flat, there is a whole lot of stuff that has been stored in the loft. I have given some away, I have sold some things, and there is still a load of stuff in my living room that I am constantly tripping over. Apparently the loft space is not for storage and the leaseholders own that space.

The leaseholders have already taken off my front door and replaced it with a solid wood fire door with a tiny window that does not let in enough light.  I was threatened with court if I did not comply.  My lovely double glazed front door is now on the communal landing and is the subject of a legal dispute.  That is not going anywhere and if it attempted to be removed by the fire inspection officer I will be instructing my solicitor that I am being harassed by the leaseholders. My lovely front door has been perfectly fine for 10 years, so why can’t I put it back?

I have had enough! I want to move and I want to move now!  I am looking for opportunities and for ways of moving.

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So my emotions are up and down – I am so pleased to have emotions that I can relate to, this is such a huge step forward for me. Onward and upward.

I know there are people out there who can relate to all or part of this and if you would like to get in touch, please do.  I have been through this before during divorce and know how frustrating it can be when all the frustration of divorce, house moving, upheaval and starting afresh takes its toll on the emotions.  I know I can help you to get through divorce and come out the other side in control of your life.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Do you really know when you are in need of coaching?

I know there are a lot of people who think that they are ‘fine’ and certainly have no need of coaching of any sort.  They are mistaken in their belief that there is nothing anyone else can do to help them.  They mistakenly believe that there is nobody else out there in the entire world who is in, or has been in, the same or similar situations as them.  They continue to plod on through life without help, without looking for answers to their questions and still believing that there is nothing they or anyone else can do to change their current situations. They continue to suffer needlessly.

I know differently.  I have been on both sides of that argument,  and I know exactly what I am talking about.  I have been there, I have resisted being coached. My ego kept telling me I didn’t need to be coached as I am a coach myself.  How wrong could I have been?

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I have also been in a place where I didn’t know coaching existed.   When I was going through divorce I had no perception of a way out of despair and misery.  I blundered along totally unaware that help was out there.  I had no idea at that time that there were coaches out there who could help me. Had I known that help was available for me from a coach I would have been first in the queue. It would have saved me years of heartache and anguish.

Since discovering coaching and training to become a coach myself with some of the top people in the country, I have been coaching for many years and successfully changed the lives of lots of people, including my own.  But, and this is a big BUT, I resisted being coached myself because my ego kept telling me that I was okay, I was ‘fine’.

Why do women stay in abusive relationships?

So what changed? I have taken a good look at me and my ego has been booted into the back of beyond’.  I hired my own coach and I love being coached as much as I love coaching.  I adore watching people change and grow through my coaching skills.  I love all the friends I have made who are also coaches, some of them are on different continents.  I love how we support each other online, on the phone, via Skype. We encourage each other and we learn and grow more and more each day.

Coaching and being coached have changed my life dramatically. Do you want to change your life?

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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The proper nourishment for my body

I recently spent 5 days working at a festival, starting at 8am and finishing around 9pm, little time for nourishment for me. I enjoyed meeting all the clients and was really pleased that I could relieve their headaches, release the tension in their shoulders and so much more with the head massages I provided.

Of course this left very little time for eating properly. Breakfast was a bowl of cereal and some toast. Mid morning brought biscuits or crisps, lunchtime was sausage rolls and pork pies or a bacon sandwich. In the evening we did manage to cook a ‘proper’ meal like pasta or meat pie, potatoes and vegetables, but were too tired to really enjoy it.

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At the time the days just whizzed by and I didn’t pay much attention to my feelings or what was happening to my body. I just got on with the work and loved it all. When I returned home, however, this was a different matter entirely. I felt sluggish, had a few spots, needed a couple of days of normal food to get my body and myself back on track.

I felt physically drained and tired, I felt mentally exhausted, and my stomach (which has to be nurtured all the time due to severe illness as a child) felt unsettled. I felt sick, tired, unmotivated and exhausted all round.

A week later, some proper meals inside me and taking more notice of what I am eating, and when I am eating it, has brought about a different ME. I am energised, not tired or exhausted and motivated to get on with everything.

I was never this aware of how I felt or how my body responded to food, lack of food, different foods, eating habits until I worked on me and discovered so much more about myself. I have learned that I control my destiny, I control who I am, I control what I eat and if I let go of that control I am no longer being me, I am succumbing to someone who used to be me.

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When I was going through divorce I wasn’t eating properly, I was worrying, crying and just trying to survive.  Looking back I realise I didn’t have any idea about what I was doing to my body.  I was the last thing on my mind.

Today, watching what I eat, when I eat it, how I feel, noticing my body’s reactions are now daily habits and I amaze myself with my own awareness. Of course there are slip ups, I am not perfect, and I have to fit in with working away from home etc., but in general it all works very well for me.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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