We each have our own perceptions and beliefs – and so we should!

Whether you realise it or not, you are constantly in the process of creating and changing your reality.
You are not truly aware of what someone else’s reality really looks like, and they are not truly aware of what your reality looks like. You are only aware of your own reality and how it looks to you. 

Don’t believe me?  Take a simple scenario.  A road traffic accident, where nobody is hurt, fortunately, when one car hits another car.  There are three witnesses.  A policeman will ask each witness what he or she saw.  There will be three completely different perceptions of the same incident.

car

 For instance, one person might state that they saw the first car brake suddenly, so the driver of the car behind (being far too close in their perception) braked really hard but the car was going too fast and ran into the car in front with a loud bang. 

The second person saw the second car approaching the car in front too fast and the driver didn’t appear to even see the car in front and ran straight into it without braking. 

The third person witnessed the first car slow down too much so the driver of the car behind (which wasn’t going too fast) couldn’t quite stop in time (though they tried) and hit the car in front really hard.

 Three different perceptions of the same accident – each quite ‘real’ to those witnesses – but significantly dissimilar. 

 How you perceive your life and everything around you will differ dramatically from other people’s perceptions.  Your reality is totally unique to you.

How you think about your life, how you see yourself in the mirror, and what you believe is happening to you at any given moment, will be the reality that exists for you.

 So what are your beliefs?  They are your views, judgements, guiding principles and decisions about yourself, family and friends, communities, organisations, employers and everyone and everything else you come into contact with.

 Your beliefs filter everything you see, hear and feel around you and, as a result, determine the meaning you attach to any event. Your beliefs act as self-fulfilling prophecies.

If you think that you can’t do something and then find it extremely difficult to do and give up trying, you have successfully fulfilled your belief that you can’t do it.  What would have happened if you had believed that you could do it?  Would your reality have been different?

Your beliefs, whether they be limiting or empowering, determine your actions, and your actions in turn verify your beliefs. Over time, as you collect more evidence to prove your beliefs, your beliefs become your reality.

Your beliefs operate in your subconscious mind and influence your conscious mind, they affect your thoughts and behaviour. Whilst you are aware of many of your beliefs, in general, your most influential beliefs are stored away in your subconscious mind.

There are some beliefs you view as absolute truths and never question – that is just the way the world is! A change in your beliefs can have a major impact on how you live your life and the behaviours you manifest.

Once you believe in something, you tend to ignore opposite examples and accept only those events that reinforce that belief.

 flat world

As Henry Ford, industrialist, said: ‘Whether you believe you can or believe you can’t, you are probably right.’ How right he was.

Do you currently have beliefs that keep your reality comfortable and safe and that prevent you from exploring your true potential? 

Do you choose to acknowledge only the reality that is predicted by your limiting beliefs and then use these observations as proof that your current reality is indeed true? 

Is it time to step out of your comfort zone and set sail into the unknown?  To push the boundaries of what you think you know and discover new lands and opportunities – to challenge yourself to create your new reality?

Make a note of the limiting beliefs you are aware of.  Really give this some thought.  You will probably find a lot more than you originally thought if you keep delving deeper into your thoughts.

 I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Taking time for YOU!

My clients often tell me that one of the added benefits of having coaching with me, that they hadn’t considered before they started, is that their coaching sessions can often be the only time in their busy week that they feel able to step back and truly focus 100% on themselves.  Be honest, how often could you say that you allow yourself to do just that?

A lot of the time we get so busy ‘doing’ that we forget about ‘being’.

windowcleaning

This was a revelation of sorts for me some years back.  I had something fantastically inspiring to aim for.  I had the focus, I had the drive to work really hard, and I was making good progress.  And yet, I ended up feeling ill, stressed and fairly disillusioned.  I began to think that if this was what having stretching goals was about, I wasn’t sure I wanted them after all!

Talking through how I felt with a good friend one day, I was brought up short when she said “oh yes, you’ve become a ‘human doing’ instead of a ‘human being'”.  I thought about that all the way home.

As I reflected on the previous few months, I could think of very few times when I wasn’t ‘doing’ and even fewer times when I’d consciously decided to take time out and ‘just be’.

How much of your time do you spend ‘doing’ and how much do you spend ‘being’?  If you had to divide a circle up with how much time you give over to each, what would it look like?  How big would your ‘being’ slice be? Be absolutely honest with yourself.

piechart

With our busy lives and time-poor society it can seem nearly impossible to take more time for ourselves, but at what cost do we choose not to?  My decision those few years back was to invest more time in myself, and I’m certain that I’m more productive as a result.  I get more done in my ‘doing’ time now than I ever did when I was ‘doing’ every waking second of the day.  Plus, my ultimate decision was that it couldn’t all be about the doing and the destination or I’d miss the journey altogether.

So as we roll into the next season, what time can you make for yourself to just ‘be’?  When can you next set aside an hour or two, a whole day or even more than that, to relax and recharge?  Imagine how much better you will feel when you do?

Could you do with some regular time set aside to focus 100% on you and on making your life how you want it?

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Let go of regret

Holding on to regret is like dragging the weight of the past with us everywhere we go.  It drains our energy, leaving us less available for life in the present because we are constantly feeding our old issues.  

Doing this can cause illness the same way watering a dead plant creates decay.  We know that something new and beautiful can grow in its place, if we only prepare the soil and plant the right seeds.

headache

We also know that we create our lives from our thoughts, so dwelling on the past may actually recreate a situation in our lives where we are forced to make the same choices again and again. We can choose to move on right now by applying what we have learned to the present.

Forgiveness is the soothing balm that can heal regret. If we can forgive ourselves and any other people involved, we will find that a great weight is lifted and we begin to feel better in ourselves.

One of the ways I have of doing this is by replaying the event in my mind, a bit like watching a film. I choose a new ending using all the new information and learning that I now have. I imagine that I have actually gone back into the past and made this change, and then I say goodbye to it. I release my former self and anyone else involved with a hug and bring the forgiveness and love back with me to the present.

Since we are usually our harshest critics, it is amazing how powerfully healing it can be to offer ourselves love.

Four Women Friends at the Beach
Keeping our minds and our energy fully in the present allows us to fuel our physical and emotional healing and well-being today. This action frees our energy to create the dreams we dream for the future. By taking responsibility and action in the present, we can release our hold on the past and let that weight go.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Your confidence diary.

A great way to boost your confidence is to keep a confidence diary.  It is a smart tool to remind yourself just how good you really are and what you have to be thankful for and pleased about in your life right now.

It is something I used to rebuild my confidence after going through a toxic relationship, divorce and learning to be me again.

diary

Either buy yourself a notebook or a day to view diary and once a week for a month jot down your answers to the following confidence questions.

Don’t give me any excuses about you haven’t got the time to do it! Take just 10 minutes per week, sit down and jot down your thoughts to:

  • What have I got to be grateful for in my life right now?

  • What am I happy about in my life right now?

  • Why am I happy about these things?

  • What did I accomplish last week?

  • What am I excited about in my life right now?

  • Who do I love and appreciate in my life? Who do I like hanging around? Why?

  • Who loves and appreciates me for what I am? Warts ‘n all!

Answer these questions honestly at the start of each week and it will set you up for success.

Getting our lives back after divorce

If you need a booster midweek, then by all means answer them again whenever you want to feel centred and remind yourself of what you have got going for yourself in your life right now. You can do this whilst enjoying a nice cup of tea or coffee.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Self Awareness

When I was in my teens and even up to my early 40s I had very little self-awareness.  I plodded along doing what I was told to do, manipulated by so many people.  I was so totally not self-aware I didn’t even notice that I was living my life on other people’s terms.

It is only since I have trained to be a life coach that I have really discovered myself and discovered my own self awareness.  I have found that to be able to grow into my own self-awareness I have to understand my feelings and emotions.  This was quite a difficult journey for me, as I have suppressed feelings and emotions for many years.  The reason – I was told by my parents when I was a child that I should be seen and not heard.  I was told that I should not express anger or display any emotion.  And so I learned to repress them.

Having this understanding now after learning so much about my feelings and emotions and rediscovering who I am really am, I know that I can express my feelings and emotions. And this is a huge step for me towards self-awareness.  But what does self-awareness do for me? What are the benefits to me?  Being self-aware has given me the opportunity and freedom to change those things I want to change about myself and create the life that I want.  I now don’t allow others to manipulate me.  I live my life on my terms.  I am seen and heard and I do express my feelings and emotions.

 New for 2013. From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again

The more clarity I get about who I am and what I want, and of course why I want it, the more I empower myself to consciously make those wants a reality. But, how do I get this clarity? I turn to the expert – ME.  I know more about myself than anyone else, I know I have been manipulated and by whom.  I know I have suppressed my feelings and emotions,  and I know why.  And I have got to know myself even better over the past few years by becoming so much more self-aware.  I am, of course, still learning.

To get the clarity I want I have learned to ask myself questions and expect specific answers. The more specific my answers, the more impact they have on my life and then I have a much clearer picture of  me.  Of course, there are times when my answer is ‘I don’t know’ and I know that is okay too.  I give myself the freedom to take a wild guess and this allows me to carry on.  What I have discovered is that I really do know more than I ever thought I did.

Honesty is vital in my answers to myself.  It will lead to my true self-awareness, but it does take a lot of courage.  It is the courage to face my fears or to face something I find difficult to accept about myself.  For instance, I know that I am impatient and want things to happen now.  I also know that when people are speaking to me I get impatient to hear the end of what they are saying, and I tend to try to finish their sentences for them.  I know this about myself and do my best to bite my tongue and not jump in with the answers.  By being totally honest with myself I take ownership of my actions, thoughts and feelings and find those beliefs that are no longer serving me. Those beliefs can then be discarded, altered or whatever feels right for me.

I find that sometimes I do slip up and give an answer that perhaps I think I should give, rather than what I really know is right.  That means I am giving answers from my head rather than getting in touch with my feelings and getting the answer there. To get out of my head again, I take several deep breaths and start to listen to my body, to notice where it is hurting and breathe into that place.  This helps me to balance myself and to find the answers I need, and they come from inside me rather than from my head.

How do I know I am in a relationship that is bad for me?

I know that whatever I discover about myself I can handle with ease and acceptance.  I trust that whatever I discover about myself will in some way lead to a greater sense of me and increased self-awareness.

I have found that practising listening to my body has enabled me to get to grips with my emotions and feelings in a way that I have never been able to do before.  And of course I am learning every day more and more about myself too.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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My radio interview with Susan Rich on W4WN Radio

Yesterday I had the privilege of being interviewed by Susan Rich on her radio programme.  She and Annemarie Scheutz chatted with me for half an hour or so about my work and wanted to learn more about how divorce coaching works.

It's December!

Click here to listen to the programme.

I had such a good time and was made to feel so welcome.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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An incredible year

This year has been interesting to say the least.  It began in January with my birthday ‘tour’.  I decided that instead of having a fixed birthday party I would take my celebrations on tour.  I started here on the Island and then went to the mainland, to Portsmouth and then to Essex.  I met up with friends and relatives who maybe I wouldn’t have seen if I had kept the party here on the Island.

I had a great time and really loved seeing all those people and enjoying celebrating with them.

February brought the birth of my newest granddaughter, Tabitha.  She, of course, decided to arrive on 29th – so only one birthday every four years for her.  I went to visit her of course when she was only a few days old, and she is beautiful. She is now 10 months old, crawling and ‘chatting’.  Below is Tabitha at about 6 months.

 
March was uneventful, except for helping out a friend who is a florist delivering flowers for Mothers’ Day. The car was full of bouquets, arrangements and choccies.  Lovely gifts.
 
In April I helped out at a charity fashion show.  I helped to dress the models and ensure their quick changes were just that, quick.  I thoroughly enjoyed it. I was also invited to attend the Isle of Wight WI Annual Conference as a guest of their speaker Lucy, who I had helped with her relationship.  She thanked me publicly and it felt so good to be appreciated.
 
May brought a visit to the theatre in London to see a play called ‘Noises Off’, starring Celia Imrie. A very funny play, brilliantly done.  Loved it.
 
In June I was given tickets to the Electric Woods at Robin Hill Country Park, an evening of music and illuminations.  Brilliant.  Two more trips to London to see Blood Brothers, a stunning musical play, and War Horse – just fabulous.  The horse was a puppet, but you didn’t notice and got emotionally involved with him all the way through. I was also invited to display and sell my books at Newport Minster by a local writing group.  This was really good.
 
July was the beginning of the festival and event season.  I spent a wet weekend at Smallbrook Stadium in a caravan providing head massage for a wonderful group of bikers.  I also started an open coaching group at a healing studio in Newport and this was quite successful, although I don’t think I will repeat it.  A trip to Scotland followed to work at Rewind Festival Scotland, providing head massage to the masses.  Again it rained, but we had a good time and met some lovely people.  I was interviewed on WC4S Radio via Skype and had a great time. I also helped out at the local talent show for under 18s.  A great day too.
 
August brought a wedding in Essex, we took the caravan and stayed nearby.  Then we went to see Grease the musical at the Mayflower Theatre in Southampton. Excellent. A day spent in Cowes for Cowes Week and then off to Henley for Rewind Festival Henley.  That weekend was so hot, 93 degrees, we nearly melted.  Then it was Faux Fest at the Donkey Sanctuary.  A festival of tribute bands. It rained, and rained.  I sold raffle tickets and met some of the ‘stars’. Below is ‘Michael Jackson’.
 
 
September was very busy with coaching and mentoring, getting my car fixed after someone kindly donated a dent whilst I was parked in a supermarket car park.  
 
In October I won some tickets to see Level 42 at Portsmouth Guildhall. Great concert.  Two more trips to London to see the play Jumpy starring Tamsin Greig.  Excellent.  And then to see A chorus of Disapproval with Rob Brydon, Ashley Jensen and Nigel Harman.  Very good and very funny.  Then off to Mayflower Theatre Southampton to see Sarah Millican. I also began being the resident life coach on a radio programme called “Calder’s Confessions”, this is all about real people’s life problems and hopefully I am bringing some much needed help. October also brought the birth of my very first great-granddaughter.  
 
November brought another trip to the Mayflower Southampton to see The Mousetrap.  A very interesting play.  Typical Agatha Christie.  Then a trip to the Nuffield Theatre Southampton to see Francesca Martinez, and lovely young comedienne.  Very funny. 
 
In December I was interviewed on Power Women Radio by Deb Jones via Skype.  I had a ball. I also spent two days at a local high school conducting mock interviews for the year 11s.  Great fun drawing out their good points and giving them tips on interview techniques.
 
All through the year I have also been coaching lots of women, creating a new online course to help professional women going through divorce or getting over the aftermath.  I have undertaken a marketing course which has turned out to be fabulous and I would recommend it to anyone.  Take a look here if you would like to find out more about this amazing course.
 
 
What will 2013 bring? I know it is going to be a year of creativity, coaching, teaching, mentoring and helping lots of people to change their lives so they can live authentically and on their own terms. That is my intention for 2013.
 
I know I am really looking forward to the coming year and building on the foundations started this year.  I think it is going to be fabulous.
 

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Where would I rather be?

I would rather be sitting in a deck chair with a good book, ‘Living Your Design: A Manual for Cellular Transformation (Student Manual)’ by Lynda Stone comes to mind. I don’t mind where I place the deck chair, it could be in the middle of a field, on a beach, in a clearing in a forest, in a park – but it has to be in nature. I love watching the animals and birds going about their daily business. Watching children playing happily, laughing and having fun.

deckchair

So where am I now? In my office finishing off the final bits of work that I had on my to do list, doing the last bits of washing and packing clothes and things for my road trip to Scotland that starts tomorrow.

Leaving home at around 8am to get my caravan that is stored on a farm about 10 miles away. Hitch it up to our van and then off to East Cowes to get the ferry to Southampton. Then off to Perth via County Durham and the Beamish museum and aiming to arrive in Perth on Thursday.

I have planned to meet up with an old friend just outside Leeds on Tuesday, someone I haven’t seen for 5 years, and I am really looking forward to having a cuppa and a chat with her.

The camp sites are booked for our overnight stays on the way up to Perth and then we will be at Scone Palace at the Rewind Festival from Thursday to Monday. I love the change of scenery, the change of work (we will be offering Indian Head massage to the festival goers and traders) and scenery.

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Heading back home on Monday, staying overnight in Lancashire and then home on Tuesday evening.

So back to where I would rather be. Reading a book in nature. I am going to achieve this over the next few days.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Phenomenal abundance this week

This week has been just phenomenal for me in terms of abundance. And by abundance I mean profound learning, moving forward and of course in terms of receiving financial rewards.

I met with the CEO of a charitable organisation who has funding for 20 people to be coached for 2 sessions each to help them to get back into employment. And he wants me to be the coach for his organisation and I will have financial rewards. Fab! I am so honoured to be invited to do this.

20 ways to increase your confidence after divorce

I had a face to face coaching session with a new client this week who has lost her motivation to do anything. She had some serious issues a couple of years ago that knocked her confidence in herself and now she has got into the habit of doing nothing, and finding excuses as to why she does nothing. She agreed that she would need to change the way she thinks and to think more positively and she is going to start with positive affirmations and positive thinking.

Dealing with emotional abuse

I also gained a coaching client this week who I am very excited to be working with very soon. I have known this person for a while now and have struck up a good relationship with her even though she lives in Washington DC and I live in the UK. Skype is amazing and works so well.  I am so excited to be working with her and I know we will be good together.

So abundance this week in self-awareness, learning and teaching.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Grounded, meditated and living!

This week has been very constructive for me and I have delved into new things that will benefit me in the long term, as well as being enjoyable whilst they are happening.

For instance, I had my first Tai Chi class this week for a very long time. I think the last class was about 5 years ago. I say class, it involved standing still for half an hour, doing an exercise for 10 minutes, warming down and then sitting on the floor drinking stewed green tea for half an hour. Not what I would call inspiring or useful. I stuck it for a few months, then gave up.

This week’s class was so totally different and I learned more in an hour and a half than I did in all the previous months. And today I am aching, so it must be doing me good.

thaichi

I learned how to ground myself and how we are all connected to the ground. I learned that I have to be in the moment to get the full benefit of Tai Chi as it is all about self-awareness and being aware of where you place your feet, hands etc. There are 4 people in the class, so we all get individual instruction and help from the tutor.

The tutor is someone I coached a few years ago because he was overwhelmed with work, travel, admin etc. He didn’t know where to turn and he was dreading getting up each day. During our one session together he came to the realisation, with my deft questioning, that he needed someone to help him with the admin side of his business. He has gone from strength to strength.

This is his testimonial to me: “Thanks for the notes and your time yesterday. The idea of getting help was a major breakthrough for me and I am laughing at myself and in total disbelief that I had to be led by you to that very obvious solution!!! I guess you must get that all the time though. Getting help will open up the possibilities of what I can achieve enormously and I actually woke up this morning raring to go instead of dreading the day’s work.”

It is so good to be appreciated and get results for my clients.  That is why I love my work and am so passionate about it.

I also began meditating today. I enjoyed it, even though it was only 10 minutes and was surprised at how effective it is. I found some meditation music that I like and it lasts for about 10 minutes. It is very conducive to meditating, something I have always wanted to learn, and now I am. The music can be found at http://www.omharmonics.com.

concept

I worked with one of  my client this week and she is learning so much about herself and how she can connect with her emotions and feelings. This is something we all need to do to ensure we are living our lives authentically. It is also something I learned going through divorce and in the aftermath.  I had lost the real me in the divorce process and it took me a long time to find me again.  This is why I love working with people because I don’t want them to ever be lost to themselves like I was.

So –  grounded, meditated and living.  A good place to be!

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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