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Forgiveness – Releasing the past

Forgiveness is such an important subject that I feel compelled to spend some time explaining its significance. When we hold something unforgiven inside, we are nurturing anger, hatred and resentment or maybe even guilt. These emotions lock us into the moment, continually reliving events.  Over time all this emotion can become suppressed into the subconscious, but they are still there, consuming our mental and life energy.

Until we release ourselves from this cycle, it may prove impossible to move forward. It really does not matter what the issue was, whether slight or life-shatteringly traumatic. If you want to move on you must let it go. To do this you must forgive. To forgive someone does not mean that that you condone their behaviour simply that you forgive them, and release them. By releasing and forgiving them, you release yourself.

Some people hold onto their anger, refusing to forgive or let go.  They will never move on until they do. In fact, quite the reverse, by allowing such emotions to ferment inside, they grow and can become all consuming, their whole life becoming defined by whatever the event was. They are no longer in control of their life or living the life they want. They are living a life that is directed by their anger and hurt.

A grateful attitude helps in times of extreme stress

 

How our lives are, is often a reflection of our reactions to the ups and downs of life.  If we choose to accept the good and release the bad, we are able to maintain control over our lives and keep our sense of direction.  If however we  focus on the bad things that have happened to us, then these will simply grow, continually manifesting our own dark thoughts and divert us from seeking what we really want.

If you or your life is “stuck”, then it is well worth looking back to see if there is anything unforgiven in your past.  Remember to forgive everyone, especially yourself.  So many people trudge through their lives burdened with guilt for this or that, forgive yourself  and let it go.

Remember, life is in the now, the past is already finished and dead and cannot be changed. Nothing you can do now, can ever change the past, yet it is amazing how many people squander their emotional and life energy, consumed with anger or guilt about the past.

In this moment now, you have your power – the power to make your choices, take your action, to make a difference.  You have no power in the past and you have no assurance of power in the future. If you want to feel free, released from the past  then you must forgive.  Forgive everyone, especially yourself. I know how difficult it is to overcome our natural and very human feelings of anger, guilt, resentment and fear. The basis of them can seem, and may well be, completely justified, you may be completely right to have these emotions, and it is OK to experience them.  However, these emotions damage your ability to move on, you must accept your emotions, but then be prepared to let them go. To release yourself, you must forgive. Until you do you will remain the victim with your life locked into all those negative emotions.

 

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Look around you, do you know anyone like that?  Some tragedy or injustice has been suffered and now the entire life of that person is defined by their anger and resentment. Every positive thought, every inspired moment, all of life’s little pleasures are subsumed with their overwhelming feelings of anger, resentment, even desire for revenge. No matter how justified their emotions are, what good is it doing them? The past can never be changed. Life is full of tragedy and joy, it is not the events of life so much as how we respond to them that defines how joyous and successful our lives are.

It is time now for you to take action and to really begin to change your life.  Or you could do nothing.  It is your choice. I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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What makes a very good relationship last?

I believe a good relationship is based on trust, love, respect, listening, learning, giving and taking.  Communication of course is essential.  If you don’t communicate effectively with each other, then the relationship will fail. Whether the relationship is a marriage or a friendship, those bases have to be covered or the relationship will not flourish.

I have been married to my husband for 29 years and we love each deeply.  We also trust each other implicitly.  I always listen to what my husband has to say, and mostly he listens to what I have to say.  We don’t always agree, but we respect each other’s opinion.  There is also the factor of knowing that we are there for each other to support and encourage in low times and to praise and celebrate with each other in the high times.  We each know that we can depend upon each other no matter what.  Our communication works, we are honest with each other and there are no secrets (with the exception of birthday and Christmas presents of course).

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I have very few good friends who I would trust with my life.  But those I do have know that equally they can trust me with their lives.  I have one friend in particular who I have known since I was 9 years old.  We are good friends.  We live hundreds of miles apart, but we manage to get together at least once a year and to keep in touch via email and social media.  We love each other as friends, trust and respect each other, learn from each other even now after all these years.

I have a good relationship with my mother, this has not always been the case, but I have learned that we do love each other, respect each other’s opinions and although we live about two hours away from each other, we communicate via phone every so often and I visit her many times a year. She is going to be 90 this year, still lives in her own home, and is surprisingly spritely for her age.

Here are some tips to help make your relationship last:

  • Be honest with each other. If you have made a mistake then admit it, apologise. Don’t let your ego get in the way.
  • If your partner makes a mistake and apologises, is it always their fault? Did they know what you expected of them? Was your communication clear? If not, can you take responsibility and admit that?
  • Say I love you to your partner or friend and mean it. They will be feeling on top of the world because they feel loved and wanted.  This will reflect back on you and make you feel the same.
  • Say thank you. That has a similar effect to saying I love you. Being appreciated means so much in a relationship.
  • Don’t forget that you are still your own person and your partner or friend is still their own person.  Have your own set of friends that you can go out with now and again, without your partner.  Being together all the time can be very suffocating and can cause damage to a relationship.
  • Share your secrets. Know the trivial things about your partner that nobody else knows.

If you don’t have a good relationship with someone, is there something missing? Do you trust each other, respect each other, listen to each other, learn from each other and love each other?

Four Women Friends at the Beach

The best part I find of being in a relationship is that I am not in it alone.  I have someone to love, to work with and work things out with.

No relationship is perfect, it would be terribly boring if it were.  But you are in the relationship with someone you love and who loves you. Cuddle your partner when you go to sleep at night – there is nothing more comforting than having a loving pair of arms around you when you go to sleep and when you wake in the morning.

All of these things will help to make a good relationship last.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves, and I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Taking time for YOU!

My clients often tell me that one of the added benefits of having coaching with me, that they hadn’t considered before they started, is that their coaching sessions can often be the only time in their busy week that they feel able to step back and truly focus 100% on themselves.  Be honest, how often could you say that you allow yourself to do just that?

A lot of the time we get so busy ‘doing’ that we forget about ‘being’.

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This was a revelation of sorts for me some years back.  I had something fantastically inspiring to aim for.  I had the focus, I had the drive to work really hard, and I was making good progress.  And yet, I ended up feeling ill, stressed and fairly disillusioned.  I began to think that if this was what having stretching goals was about, I wasn’t sure I wanted them after all!

Talking through how I felt with a good friend one day, I was brought up short when she said “oh yes, you’ve become a ‘human doing’ instead of a ‘human being'”.  I thought about that all the way home.

As I reflected on the previous few months, I could think of very few times when I wasn’t ‘doing’ and even fewer times when I’d consciously decided to take time out and ‘just be’.

How much of your time do you spend ‘doing’ and how much do you spend ‘being’?  If you had to divide a circle up with how much time you give over to each, what would it look like?  How big would your ‘being’ slice be? Be absolutely honest with yourself.

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With our busy lives and time-poor society it can seem nearly impossible to take more time for ourselves, but at what cost do we choose not to?  My decision those few years back was to invest more time in myself, and I’m certain that I’m more productive as a result.  I get more done in my ‘doing’ time now than I ever did when I was ‘doing’ every waking second of the day.  Plus, my ultimate decision was that it couldn’t all be about the doing and the destination or I’d miss the journey altogether.

So as we roll into the next season, what time can you make for yourself to just ‘be’?  When can you next set aside an hour or two, a whole day or even more than that, to relax and recharge?  Imagine how much better you will feel when you do?

Could you do with some regular time set aside to focus 100% on you and on making your life how you want it?

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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A grateful attitude helps in times of extreme stress

I have found that being grateful for what I do have far outweighs worrying about what I don’t have.  This philosophy works on so many levels for me and it can work for you too.

When I decided to leave my marriage of 12 years (30 years ago), I was full of worry about what I didn’t have at that time, how I would manage, how I would survive etc.  I spent so long worrying about what I didn’t have and desiring all the things that I thought I did want, that I forgot to live as me.  I forgot all about me.  And because of that I had to hit rock bottom before I realised that I could do something about my life.

At that time I didn’t know anything different.  I had never heard of self-development, nor had I heard of life coaches who could have helped me.


Now, of course, I know differently and I always put into practice my own teachings.  I am grateful every day for all that I have, the abundance in my life.  Abundance in life, such as the wonderful area I live in, the friends I have, the trust and love of my husband, the work that I do and the lovely clients who I help daily.

Had I known about how to be grateful for what I had way back then I would probably have coped a whole lot better.  I may not have hit rock bottom, I may have lived my life differently.  I shall never know now, but it doesn’t matter.  I am living the life that I love, working with people every day who benefit from my learning and teaching. I am determined that nobody should have to reach the depths that I did before they change their lives for the better.

Today I am grateful for the smallest things as well as the huge things.  I am grateful for the sunshine today, for the little flowers popping their heads over the window box, the little birds singing, the sea, the green fields and so much more.



If you are going through a life trauma, it may help you to think about all the things you can be grateful for.  The little tiny things that come in large numbers.  They may just bring a smile on a dismal day and help you get through.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Friends come and go for a reason

I was considering why it is that friends come into our lives and some of them go out of our lives again.

There are many reasons but for me I think that some people fall away because of the changes I have made to myself.   I have learned so much about myself that I was unaware of. For instance I have stuffed emotions and feelings down because I was conditioned not to show emotion or share feelings.

Four Women Friends at the Beach

When I was in a toxic relationship I had very few friends, and those I did have were not that close.  I wasn’t allowed to get close to anybody.  Getting divorced and learning to live my life as me has been a steep learning curve.

I have learned how to express my feelings, get close to people and keep others at arm’s length.  Now that I am able to express emotions and share my feelings other people may find this unacceptable to them. And that is okay. What I am comfortable with is not always comfortable for everyone else. And that may be why some friends have moved away.

The friends I have currently are wonderful. Some live nearby, some live on different continents, but I am grateful to them all for their friendship and support. I do my best to support all my friends, it may be in a big way or in a small way.

Dealing with emotional abuse

I am grateful for all the friends I have had, still have and those I have yet to meet for their contributions to my life.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Who do I love?

There was a time when I didn’t love myself because I didn’t feel worthy. I was in a toxic relationship that drained all emotion from me and left me a shell of the person I really was.

A grateful attitude helps in times of extreme stress

Today that is so very different. I have rejected that relationship, divorced, moved on and remarried. The situation now is so very different.

There are many people who I love, and in many different ways too.

I love my husband of 28 years, Kelvin, he is my rock, lover, friend, confidante and most of all my support through life’s ups and downs.

I love my mother for being who she is, for bringing me up to the best of her ability and for being there when I needed her.

I love my children, all 3 of them equally even though I have very little contact with my sons – their choice.

I love my 5 granddaughters and 1 grandson, all of them equally. I have met 5 of them, have never met one and, have no contact with 3 of them. The choice of their parents.

I love my friends in deed  who are always there for me to encourage, compliment, advise and listen.

New for 2013. From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again

I love my friends who are there for me always. I don’t have to ask, they are just there. Even if I don’t see them for months at a time.

I love me for being the rock and support for my husband, for being there for my mum when she needs me, for being there for my children whether they need me or not, for being there for my grandchildren whether they need me or not and for being there for my friends in deed and my friends.

I love me for being me and for being prepared to develop even more into me, to take care of me and to continue to move forward in my life.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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It went wrong, but it went right too!

On a peer coaching call yesterday I was tasked to record the whole thing. I knew what I had to do, I had the instructions in front of me. I dialled in as the host, I dialled *9 to record and the automated voice told me I was not authorised at this time to record this call. So that didn’t happen. Was it the end of the world? No, indeed it was not.

Gina, Heather, Teri and I had an animated conversation covering all sorts of different topics, we laughed and reconnected as we hadn’t all spoken for several weeks due to holidays and illness. We all learned something, we all taught someone something, we definitely connected and we were relaxed, trusting and open.

Sometimes things just don’t work, and maybe there is a reason for them not working, maybe it is just technology being too sophisticated, maybe it is just not meant to be.

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The gift of this situation was renewed connection with my friends in deed, a sense of belonging, trust and belief in each other and ourselves, learning from each other and of course trusting each other.

I am amazed at how far I have come. In the beginning on our weekly calls I would say very little. I would listen and absorb all that was said and all the lessons I was learning. I gradually learned that I could not only trust my friends in deed but that I could trust myself too. And that was a huge lesson for me.

Your life does not resemble anybody else's

I can now say what I think and know that it is well received, it may not always be agreed with, but where would we be without our own values and opinions?

There are so many gifts from this situation. The love and trust of friends, the learning, the teaching, the compassion, the truth, the bonds and so much more.

I may not have recorded the call for everyone to hear, but those that were on the call will remember it for some time to come.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Who are my friends?

My friends, with whom I like to spend time, are very few. I have some really good friends here on the Isle of Wight where I live and, on occasion we take time out to have a meal, meet up for a drink or just to natter. I know I can trust these friends, they are there to support me, as I am them. They don’t drain the energy out of me and I like being with them and hearing about their successes. Equally they like being me with and hearing about my successes.  We support each other in good times and bad and we can count on each other. We intuitively know when something is wrong and do our best to help whoever needs it.

I have some very good friends who live on the mainland.  I used to work with them and we meet up several times a year for  ‘Ladies who lunch’ days.  We meet, have coffee and catch up, wander around the shops either window shopping or buying, have lunch, more shopping and chatting.  A thoroughly good time is had and we each look forward to meeting up and hearing how we are all getting on.

Four Women Friends at the Beach

I have some friends that I have known for 50 years. We meet up occasionally and it is as if we only saw each other yesterday.  We communicate on social media and email and it is always lovely to actually get to see them in person.  We always laugh and have such a good time.

I have more good friends who are also my fellow coaches. I haven’t met up with them physically yet,  but I know they are there for me and will support me and love me. They know that I am there for them too and will love and support them. We don’t judge or criticise, we support and encourage. These are my friends-in-deed and I look forward to our calls each week  and our interactions online daily. We learn so much about ourselves and each other and helps our personal growth.

I have some so-called friends who I keep as clear of as I can as they drain my energy and, although they appear to be givers, they are in fact takers. I don’t expect everyone to give to me, and at the same time I don’t expect them to keep taking either. These people are toxic to me and I avoid them where possible.

There are some people who are truly motivational and they include  Mother Teresa who, although is no longer with us, has made some truly mind-blowing statements and did such great work so selflessly. There is, of course, my dad who is no longer with us, but who was wise and always had time for me. Often over a cup of coffee I will think about him and remember the good times.

 

Getting our lives back after divorce

 

My husband Kelvin inspires me with his constant support. He is my rock and without him I would be lost. He loves me unconditionally, as I love him, and he supports me in all that I do, as I support him. He allows me to be me and that is very valuable to me.

My friends-in-deed bring me positive energy and we are mirrors for each other. We inspire each other with our learnings and teachings. My friends here on the Island and on the mainland inspire me with their achievements and energy. I love hearing all about how successful people are and it pleases me to think that I have helped them with their success in some small way and have eased their emotional pain.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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