Friends and family who sap your positive energy

The people with whom you have the most contact and who hang around you will have either a positive or negative effect on your levels of self-esteem and confidence.

We all know people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around. Have you noticed how they make you feel?

They make you feel the same as them, happy and positive! They can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with a positive, ‘can do’ vibe that has a knock on effect onto everyone else.

Four Women Friends at the Beach

We also know of those people who could moan for England!

According to them they never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like other people to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – and so much more!

These people drain the energy from the room, and bring everyone down to their level, a million miles away from the level that YOU want to be operating on.

poutinggirl

Some family members can be a lot like this, but you can always choose your friends, you can never choose your family!

What can you do to make sure that the people you have most contact with empower and support what you stand for rather than bring you down all of the time?

You have the power to choose who you have contact with. Ideally you want happy, vibrant and positive people. If there are people who are constantly draining our positive energy you have a couple of options.  You can tell them how you feel and if they are really good friends they will respect your wishes and may change their behaviour. If they drift into the negative again, try to ignore it.  Or if they aren’t really good friends, they will drift away and find someone else to drain.

The same can be said for your family.  Your more mature relatives have been conditioned for many, many years and are a different generation.  Appreciate where they have come from whilst being selective with the information that filters through to your brain.  You have the same choices as with your friends for the younger relatives, tell them how you feel and they will either change something or drift away.

Don’t attach any guilt to your decisions, as it is your life and if you are tired of the negativity, it is time to do something about it.

You may well find that you make new friends who are positive and upbeat and some other members of your family may reappear who have also removed themselves from negative relatives.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Friends come and go for a reason

I was considering why it is that friends come into our lives and some of them go out of our lives again.

There are many reasons but for me I think that some people fall away because of the changes I have made to myself.   I have learned so much about myself that I was unaware of. For instance I have stuffed emotions and feelings down because I was conditioned not to show emotion or share feelings.

Four Women Friends at the Beach

When I was in a toxic relationship I had very few friends, and those I did have were not that close.  I wasn’t allowed to get close to anybody.  Getting divorced and learning to live my life as me has been a steep learning curve.

I have learned how to express my feelings, get close to people and keep others at arm’s length.  Now that I am able to express emotions and share my feelings other people may find this unacceptable to them. And that is okay. What I am comfortable with is not always comfortable for everyone else. And that may be why some friends have moved away.

The friends I have currently are wonderful. Some live nearby, some live on different continents, but I am grateful to them all for their friendship and support. I do my best to support all my friends, it may be in a big way or in a small way.

Dealing with emotional abuse

I am grateful for all the friends I have had, still have and those I have yet to meet for their contributions to my life.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Who are my friends?

My friends, with whom I like to spend time, are very few. I have some really good friends here on the Isle of Wight where I live and, on occasion we take time out to have a meal, meet up for a drink or just to natter. I know I can trust these friends, they are there to support me, as I am them. They don’t drain the energy out of me and I like being with them and hearing about their successes. Equally they like being me with and hearing about my successes.  We support each other in good times and bad and we can count on each other. We intuitively know when something is wrong and do our best to help whoever needs it.

I have some very good friends who live on the mainland.  I used to work with them and we meet up several times a year for  ‘Ladies who lunch’ days.  We meet, have coffee and catch up, wander around the shops either window shopping or buying, have lunch, more shopping and chatting.  A thoroughly good time is had and we each look forward to meeting up and hearing how we are all getting on.

Four Women Friends at the Beach

I have some friends that I have known for 50 years. We meet up occasionally and it is as if we only saw each other yesterday.  We communicate on social media and email and it is always lovely to actually get to see them in person.  We always laugh and have such a good time.

I have more good friends who are also my fellow coaches. I haven’t met up with them physically yet,  but I know they are there for me and will support me and love me. They know that I am there for them too and will love and support them. We don’t judge or criticise, we support and encourage. These are my friends-in-deed and I look forward to our calls each week  and our interactions online daily. We learn so much about ourselves and each other and helps our personal growth.

I have some so-called friends who I keep as clear of as I can as they drain my energy and, although they appear to be givers, they are in fact takers. I don’t expect everyone to give to me, and at the same time I don’t expect them to keep taking either. These people are toxic to me and I avoid them where possible.

There are some people who are truly motivational and they include  Mother Teresa who, although is no longer with us, has made some truly mind-blowing statements and did such great work so selflessly. There is, of course, my dad who is no longer with us, but who was wise and always had time for me. Often over a cup of coffee I will think about him and remember the good times.

 

Getting our lives back after divorce

 

My husband Kelvin inspires me with his constant support. He is my rock and without him I would be lost. He loves me unconditionally, as I love him, and he supports me in all that I do, as I support him. He allows me to be me and that is very valuable to me.

My friends-in-deed bring me positive energy and we are mirrors for each other. We inspire each other with our learnings and teachings. My friends here on the Island and on the mainland inspire me with their achievements and energy. I love hearing all about how successful people are and it pleases me to think that I have helped them with their success in some small way and have eased their emotional pain.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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