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How to really experience ‘happiness’

Do you really know what will it take to make you happy?

Think about it and see if you can discover what it will take for you to be happy?

  • Will being in a relationship, or with the right boyfriend/girlfriend make you happy?
  • Will being married make you happy?
  • Will having a million pounds make you happy?
  • Will being successful make you happy?
  • Will having better health make you happy?
  • Will getting a new job make you happy?
  • Will having a great career make you happy?

If you think the answer is yes to any, or all, of the above questions, you’ll never find happiness!

Surprised? Well don’t be. The truth is nothing can make you happy. Happiness is something we feel, not something we can find.

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Being happy doesn’t depend on a particular outcome or something happening to you. There isn’t somewhere you can go and find happiness sitting there waiting for you.

Advertising of all sorts is designed to make you think that a new car, a particular skin cream, a new outfit, some new shoes, a drink or a new diet will make you happy, but that is simply not true. Nothing can make you happy because happiness is a feeling. Happiness is something you experience.

If you want to be happy, then be happy. Most people don’t choose to be happy because they spend most of their time focusing on what they perceive is wrong with their life.

Think about it, you can’t be happy doing something that you don’t like. If you don’t believe me try it. Try doing something you despise and see if you can be happy at the same time. Trust me, you won’t be happy doing something you don’t enjoy!

You also can’t do something you really enjoy and be sad or angry. Don’t believe me? Try it. See what happens. Go and try doing something you really enjoy and see if you’re angry or miserable at the same time. That really doesn’t work.

Unfortunately, people believe they can be happy when they achieve a particular goal and make the mistake of chasing that goal in order to be happy. It’s really not achieving the goal that makes them happy. It’s the feeling of achieving the goal that provides another feeling, satisfaction perhaps,  that is mistaken for happiness.

This mistake is quite common, because it’s not security or peace of mind that makes you happy. You experience happiness when you do what you enjoy and when you focus on the positive things taking place in your life. If you’re not doing that then you can never be happy.  Don’t think that you can be happy just by having something.

You can experience happiness by achieving your particular goal,  by doing what you enjoy, having fun while achieving your goals and choosing the right goals, the kind that allow you to be happy all the time.  Focus on what you want.

Start doing the things that you enjoy. Look at the positive things that are going on in your life. Direct your mind and subconscious mind to help you experience happiness every day. This will start once you begin to appreciate the good things in your life.

 Your life does not resemble anybody else's

Okay so how can you begin to be happy? It’s really quite simple, all you have to do is shift your focus.

Instead of looking at all that you perceive is wrong with your life, instead of looking at what you don’t like about yourself or your life; instead of constantly criticising; change your focus. Start appreciating all that is good in your life.

Make a list if you want and write out all of the positive things in your life. Usually someone will say: “Maggie, I can’t think of anything positive or good in my life. I just want to be happy.” That’s only because they are not seeing all the positive things in your life.  And so you’ll never be happy.

Every day there are wonderful things taking place in your life, yet you fail to observe and recognise them. You tend to take them for granted.  This can be anything – a hot  meal, a wonderful spouse, family, a beautiful flower, lambs playing in a field –  If you have a roof over your head, that’s a positive aspect of your life.

Start looking at all of the great and terrific things that are going on in your life and you’ll begin to experience happiness on a deeper level. You can begin to improve or change the areas that you are not happy with but at the same time you should acknowledge the good things that are going on in your life.

Your mind is used to only paying attention to what is going wrong, and in the process it directs the subconscious mind to continue creating more of those things that are going wrong. You actually create more of what makes you unhappy.

Why? Because your subconscious creates what you regularly think about. So if you don’t regularly focus on the positive things you won’t create positive situations in your life.

And here’s where it gets worse.  When you constantly focus on what is wrong with your life, when you only think about and see what is wrong in your life your subconscious begins to create more of what is wrong or more of what you don’t want because it thinks that you want more.

Now you know why it can be so difficult for some people to truly experience happiness, it’s because they’re used to focusing on the negative aspects of life and in the end continue to create more of what they don’t want.

In order to change all of this you have to begin training the mind and re-directing the subconscious mind to begin creating what you want in life and to focus on the good things that are taking place in your life.

Begin experiencing happiness by changing your focus. Everyday think of the positive things that are going on in your life. Make a list of all the wonderful things that are taking place in your life.

Think of at least 3 great things that happened to you they can be small or large – but just appreciate 3 good things that happened during the day. Focus on the positive.
Direct your mind and subconscious mind by changing your perspective so you experience happiness everyday

Too often I hear from people who simply want to be happy but when I ask them what they do for fun they say: “Nothing.” No wonder you’re not happy. How can you be happy if you’re never having fun in life?

If you want to experience happiness then start doing things that you enjoy.  You may like gardening; you may like hang gliding, you may like riding your bike, you may enjoy going for long walks, you may enjoy acting like a 5-year old – whatever it is start doing it and see how great you feel.

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But there is one catch when you’re doing what you enjoy, you can only focus on that and not think about anything else that may be bothering you. That’s the only way you’ll truly enjoy the activity and begin to experience happiness.

As adults we get bogged down with the everyday tasks that force us to be serious. We have jobs where we’re serious, bills to pay, food to prepare, children to look after, it’s all too serious and it is necessary. I’m not suggesting you ignore your responsibilities – but take some time just to have some fun.

Now you can’t just have fun once a week or once a month. You have to do this every day. That means every day you have to find something fun to do, and only then will you get comfortable and used to the process to the point where you regularly experience happiness. Once you start doing this you’ll enjoy it so much you’ll wonder why you never did this to begin with.

If you don’t feel you have the time to have fun and enjoy your life then you’re really saying that your happiness is not important enough. Only when you decide to be happy will you truly begin to experience happiness. You can work with the techniques I’ve outlined – they will help you get started. But you will need to train your mind and subconscious mind to begin seeing and living in a different way.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Confidence sapping friends and colleagues

The people with whom you have the most contact and hang around will have either a positive or negative effect on your levels of self-esteem and confidence.  We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around.

How do they make you feel?

Yes, they make you feel the same!  They put zest into a boring atmosphere and fill the room with positive, can do vibes that has a knock on effect onto everyone else.

Four Women Friends at the Beach

We also know of those people who could moan for England!

According to them, they never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – need I go on?

These people drain your energy and bring you down to their level, a million miles away from the level that YOU want to be operating on.

Family members can be a lot like this as well, but you can always choose your friends, you can never choose your relatives!

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So what can you do to make sure that the people who you hang around with empower and support what you stand for, rather than bring you down all of the time?

You have the power to choose who you hang around with. Ideally you want happy, vibrant and positive people.

If you have good friends who are negative and yet you still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how you feel – if they are a true friend they will respect you for this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.

The same can be said with family. Your more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years and years and from different eras. Appreciate where they have come from and as in number 2 above, elicit and select the information that filters through to your brain.

Remember,  that nothing has meaning in life except the meaning that you give it.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.

I have some availability for new coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates for when you want to get started.  Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Looking beyond appearances

It is natural to judge people, and yourself, since it just happens without us even thinking about it.  We take one look and in 2 seconds summarise our opinion of a whole person – overweight, pretty, stylish, sloppy. This habit comes from the brain’s need to categorise the world in order to be able to function without becoming overwhelmed.  

 Judging is your way of identifying relevant information, you are trying to decide if the person approaching is a threat, a friend or someone you don’t need to worry about.  This way of looking at people makes sense in a dangerous context, but in your daily life it can lead to an overly simplistic reading of the people you meet.

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If you have ever judged someone dismissively, only to have them become a good friend once you really got to know them, then you will understand the hazards of the judgement cycle. An experience like that may lead you to question your natural tendency to believe your first impressions.  

 You will always notice things about the different people you meet, but as you become more conscious of the idiosyncrasies of judgement, you won’t be satisfied with your surface observations.  You  may notice that someone is driving an expensive car, but you will decide whether to befriend them based on getting to know them over time. You will not rule out a friendship with someone with unruly hair, especially if they turn out to have a great sense of humour and a kind heart.  Liking or disliking a person is a choice you will naturally make, but it will be after you have got to know them. 

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Next time you notice yourself judging somebody, stop.  Try to radiate love to that person. Then listen to them openly or look them in the eye and learn more about them. If this is not easy for you, remember not to judge yourself either. Trust that, with practice, you will change your habitual judgemental patterns.  And as you do, you will find a whole new dimension of perception opening up to you, allowing you to see beyond the surface and into the essence of people you meet.

If you need help with any of the above, please contact me.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.

I have some availability for new coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates for when you want to get started.  Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Conquering the fear of failure

Fear of failure is probably the single greatest obstacle to success in our adult lives. We often become totally preoccupied with not making a mistake and with seeking approval. The fear of failure is expressed in the words  “I can’t”.

We feel it in a physical way by the fast beating of the heart, rapid breathing, sweaty palms and a tight throat. We also experience this in the irresistible need to run to the loo.

Our second major fear that creates an obstacle in our performance is the fear of rejection.  We learn this at a very early age when our parents or guardians make their love conditional upon our behaviour.  If we do something to please them, they give us love and approval. If we do something to displease them, they withdraw their love and approval – which we often interpret as rejection.

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Going through divorce can trigger these feelings of failure.  But a very important thing to remember is: the marriage failed, not you.

As adults, we become preoccupied with the opinions of others because of this perceived rejection.  Many people develop hostility, suspicion and an obsession with performance to some imagined high standard.  It is virtually impossible to achieve this as it really doesn’t exist.

There is a belief that we have to work harder and accomplish more in order to please the boss.  The boss has replaced the parent and is  therefore perceived as the approval giver.

Research has shown that more than 99 percent of adults experience these fears of failure and rejection.  They are caught in the vicious circle of feeling, “I can’t, but I have to,” and “I have to, but I can’t.”

We can beat  these fears by developing our self-esteem, courage and character.  We can increase our self-love and self-respect.  Acting with courage in a fearful situation is one technique that boosts our love for ourselves to such a degree that our fears subside and they lose their ability to affect our behaviour and our decisions.

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Firstly, we need to realise and accept that we can do anything we put your minds to. Repeat the words, “I can do it! I can do it!” whenever we feel afraid. Write ina journal all your successes so you can remind yourself how good you actually are.

Secondly, we need to continually remind ourselves of just how wonderful we are, think of ourselves as valuable and important people and remember that temporary failure is one way we learn how to succeed.

If you need help with any of the above, please contact me.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.

I have some availability for new coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates for when you want to get started.  Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Who were and are your teachers?

We learn all the time through various means, at school, college, university, from neighbours, friends, relatives etc. Who have been your teachers over the years?
My teachers have been my parents, my primary school teachers, my senior school teachers, college tutors, my cousins, my children, my grandchildren, colleagues, my friends, my mother-in-law, my husband, myself and friends-in-deed.

I was taught by my parents and my teachers that I was average. This is not a lesson I want to keep because I am not, never have been and never will be average. I am unique, and I may not know the same things that so called clever people know, but what I do know is just as valuable. 

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I was taught by my college tutors that I should follow the rules. This is not a lesson I want to keep because not all rules should be followed. There are some that must be followed, and there are some that should be bent a little, and some that should be ignored completely. It is all dependent upon the situation and the rule.

I was taught by my husband and three children that love is unconditional for them. That is a lesson I am keeping because no matter what I love them all unconditionally.

I have been taught by my grandchildren that they are more intelligent than their previous generations and that they will be going places when they are old enough. This is a lesson I want to keep, and I want to watch them do just that.

I was taught by my mother-in-law that we are on this earth to help people. This is a lesson definitely to keep because that is what I want to do above all else. Help people, everywhere.

I was taught by myself that I can do more than I originally thought was possible to do. This is definitely another lesson I want to keep and expand upon.

I have learned and am still learning that there is so much more to learn and that life is a school. This lesson will be staying for the rest of my life.

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7 steppingstones book
I have learned that I am not average, I am capable. I have written and had published two books which are selling well all around the world and helping people too. I am a successful Life Coach who is changing the lives of people for the better and loving my work.
Think about who has taught you over the years, what you have learned and how valuable it is.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

Helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Your assertive rights

In the continuing journey of building confidence it is essential that you implement your assertive rights so that your life is as happy as it can be.

I have included your assertive rights below, and I would like you to read them and be aware that you do have the right to implement them, no matter what other people think.

 

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ASSERTIVE RIGHTS

  1. I have the right to judge my own behaviour, thoughts and emotions and to take the responsibility for their initiation and consequences upon myself.
  2. I have the right to offer no reasons or excuses to justify my behaviour.
  3. I have the right to judge whether I am responsible for finding solutions to other people’s problems.
  4. I have the right to change my mind.
  5. I have the right to make mistakes and be responsible for them.
  6. I have the right to say “I don’t know”.
  7. I have the right to be independent of the goodwill of others before coping with them.
  8. I have the right to be illogical in making decisions.
  9. I have the right to say “I don’t understand”.
  10. I have the right to say “I don’t care”.
  11. I have the right to say “No”.

When you read and absorb these assertive rights and then begin to implement them in your daily life you will notice the difference.  Don’t think that other people won’t notice, they will, and they will probably be surprised.  So what?

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Let them get over it and continue to assert your rights on a daily basis.  It will increase your confidence and reduce the risk of you being treated as a doormat who always says yes or agrees with everything everybody else says or does.

Your life will improve, and you will boost your confidence by implementing your assertive rights on a regular basis.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

Helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Trusting your gut feeling

Gut feelings get their name from the place in the body where they make themselves known.  A pang in your gut when you may be doing the wrong thing, or a vibrant zing when your body approves of what you are doing, can guide you reliably at times when logic fails. Sometimes, when logic takes over, we ignore our gut and probably live to regret it.  We discover later that a rational approach is only one way of determining what is going on in a situation and how we should react. 

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Our gut resides in the solar plexus just above your belly button. When it is functioning well, we can trust its guidance and adjust our actions accordingly. So many of us have a tendency to hold in this area of our bodies.  We take shallow breaths that never reach this part.  But it is in this place that we find the courage to act, to reach out into the world and create change.  When our gut is out of balance, we are timid and out of sync, wishing we had been able to say something although we were only able to say it later when we were alone; wishing we had acted on the opportunity we hadn’t seen until it was past. 
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In order to get the most out of your gut feelings, you may want to focus your attention on it more regularly and make the time to care for it. You can begin right now by taking a deep breath into your belly.  When you exhale, pull your navel in toward your spine so as to empty out completely before taking another deep breath into your belly.  When you empty completely, you release any stagnant energy and create more space to be filled with the fresh, nourishing breath.  

The more you practice this simple, cleansing exercise, the clearer and more communicative your gut feelings will be and the more comfortable you will feel acting on them. 

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

Helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Whatever we believe becomes our reality

We tend to ignore information that we think is inconsistent with our reality. Successful people absolutely believe that they have the ability to succeed. They do not think or talk about the possibilities of failing. They do not even consider the possibility of failure.

We usually act in a manner consistent with our beliefs. The most important belief system we can build is one where we absolutely believe that we are going succeed. This is called positive thinking, confirming our reality that we absolutely know that no matter what, we will be successful.

Often positive thinking is difficult because our parents or guardians only gave love and approval to their children when they did something that they wanted them to do.  If we grew up with this kind of conditional love we will inevitably tend to seek unconditional approval from others.  When we become adults, this need for approval from the parent is transferred to the workplace and to our boss or workmates. We can become preoccupied with the opinion of the boss and some totally imagined high standard.

 

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If we can change the way we think about ourselves and our potential, we can open new doors to unlimited possibilities and point ourselves in the right direction to a better, more fulfilling professional and personal life.  We should not think about what other people think of us, but we should concentrate on what we want and adjust our thinking so that we will achieve it. 

To begin to change the way we think about ourselves, we need to stimulate our imaginations.  This can be done by writing down a clear and detailed description of our ideal outcome.  We must be absolutely clear about the outcome, but we must also be flexible about the process of achieving it. 

There is a method you can use to see yourself having achieved your outcome.  It is called the ‘Hindsight Tool’.  It works like this:  

  • Think about the outcome you want, visualise yourself as having achieved it.

  • Then use the ‘hindsight tool’  – In your mind imagine yourself in, say, five years’ time, picture yourself being the successful person you want to be. How would you look? What would you be wearing? What would you be saying or doing?  Who would be around you, who wouldn’t be around you? Where would you be?

  • Then, turn round and look back to the present and see what course and actions you took, what mistakes you may have made and how you corrected them.

Your life does not resemble anybody else's

It may be that the outcome you imagined is not exactly what you hoped for.  That is fine and very normal.  Re-think your outcome and do the process over again.  You can do this many times until you get the outcome you want.  Then put it all into practice.

If you need help with any of the above, contact me.  

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.

I have some availability for new coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates for when you want to get started.  Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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How you can get the most out of your coaching sessions

Coaching is the key to transforming your life.It begins with helping you to understand where you are now and to obtain clarity about what you would like to achieve and how you will achieve it.  I then work with you to create and execute a plan of action to move you forward and transform your life.  You’ll be educated, entertained and inspired to take action immediately, and I promise you’ll find clear, logical, easy-to-implement ideas – most of which will make a difference to your life straight away. Remember, You can’t go back and make a new beginning, but you can start today to make a new ending.

Do you have a dream? I am sure you do. Become really passionate about it, enthuse to others about it, create a picture in your mind of what your dream will look like when you make it happen.  Make the picture as bright and colourful as you can.  Add sounds, smells – whatever you feel makes the picture complete.

Begin to do as many things as you can to bring that picture you have in your mind into form. You don’t need to change everything in your life to achieve it – just take baby steps towards it…gently…slowly.

 

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In the words of  Robert Heinlein “In the absence of clearly defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia and ultimately become enslaved by it.”

You have a dream; have you set your goals to make that dream come true?  Don’t let it sit in your imagination or your heart forever …trust in you… let it out…..let it come to life.

Take the opportunity to invest in yourself. This investment won’t let you down. The more things change, the more YOU can’t afford not to.

Coaching sessions are focused and forward thinking, allowing you to get the results you need quickly and enjoyably and ensuring you get great value for money. 

If you are stuck at any point by fear of the unknown, I can help with various techniques, such as NLP and TFT, to rid you of the anxiety associated with fears, life traumas etc., and thus help you to move forward with your life.

 

Why do women stay in abusive relationships?

 

I have worked with a vast range of clients, male and female, young and old, each with their own unique lifestyles and challenges.  I am proud to be able to say that every one of them has benefited from my coaching.  Many of them have made massive changes to their lives, such as changing careers, moving to another part of the country and starting a new life, ending a relationship that wasn’t working, improving their home/work balance.

Don’t be one of the 90% of people who will look back with regret, knowing their lives could have been different. Take this golden opportunity to be fulfilled and live the dream. Have what you want, do what you want and be the person you have always wanted to be.  

Every single one of us is capable of achieving truly amazing things, but you have to choose. Are you going to be one of the 10% or one of the 90%?

It is time now for you to take action and to really begin to change your life.  I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.

I have some availability for new coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates for when you want to get started.  Get in touch today.

 

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Maintaining energy and confidence levels

The people with whom we have the most contact and hang around with will have either a positive or negative effect on our levels of self-esteem and confidence.  We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around.

How do they make you feel?

Yes, they make me feel the same!  The positive thinking people can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with ‘can do’ vibes that have a knock on effect onto everyone else. They are a joy to be around and bring our energy levels up and increase our self confidence.

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We also know of those people who drain the energy from a room!

It is their perception that they never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – need I go on?

These people have the power to drain our energy and bring us down to their level, a million miles away from the level that WE want to be operating on. But they only have that power if we allow them to.

Some family members can be a lot like this as well,  we can always choose our friends, we can never choose your relatives! We can choose what are prepared to listen to though.

tiredwoman

So what can we do to make sure that the people who we hang around with empower and support what we stand for, rather than bring us down all of the time?

  1. We have the power to choose who we hang around with. Ideally we want happy, vibrant and positive people. If we hang around with those types of people, the negative ones will disappear as they won’t be able to cope.

  2.  If we have good friends who are negative and yet we still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how it feels  – if they are a true friend they will respect this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.

  3. The same can be said with family. Our more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years and years and from different eras. They have learned their behaviours from their parents and grandparents. Appreciate where they have come from and, as in number 2 above, acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.

  4. Remember, that nothing has meaning in our lives except the meaning that we give it.

We are in control of our positivity and negativity, and nobody can take that away from us. 

It is time now for you to take action and to really begin to change your life.  I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.  

I have some availability for new coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates for when you want to get started.  Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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