personal development

by

Blaming Others

When we understand that the world outside of us is a reflection of the world inside of us, we could feel confused about who is to blame for the problems in our lives. If we had a difficult childhood, we may wonder how we can take responsibility for that, and in our current relationships, the same question arises. We all know that blaming others is the opposite of taking responsibility, but we may not understand how to take responsibility for things that we don’t feel responsible for. We may blame our parents for our low self-esteem, and we may blame our current partner for exacerbating it with their unconscious behaviour. Objectively, this seems to make sense. After all, it is not our fault if our parents were irresponsible or unkind, and we are not to blame for our partner’s bad behaviour.

Young Woman Biting Her Finger Nail — Image by © Royalty-Free/Corbis

Perhaps the problem lies with the action of blaming. Whether we blame others or blame ourselves, there is something aggressive and unkind about it. It sets up a situation in which it becomes difficult to move forward with the feelings of shame and guilt that arise. It also puts the resolution of our pain in the hands of someone other than us. Ultimately, we cannot insist that someone else take responsibility for their actions; only they can make that choice when they are ready. In the meantime, if we want to move forward with our lives instead of waiting around for something that may or may not happen, we begin to see the wisdom of taking the situation into our own hands.

We do this by forgiving our parents, even if they have not asked for our forgiveness, so that we can be free. We end the abusive relationship with our partner, who may never admit to any wrongdoing, because we are willing to take responsibility for how we are treated. In short, we love ourselves as we want to be loved and create the life we know we deserve. We leave the resolution of the wrongs committed against us in the hands of the universe, releasing ourselves to live a life free of blame.

If this has resonated with you get in touch today. Through personalised guidance, I will help you to learn to rebuild your self confidence, understand how forgiveness works and change the way you are thinking about what you think about yourself.

Get in touch today. Email hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Many people don’t understand the importance of working with a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

Get in touch today.

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

by

Things to remember

The past cannot be changed. Opinions don’t define your reality.

Everybody’s journey is different. Things will always get better with time.

Photo by Designecologist on Pexels.com

Judegements are a confession of character. Overthinking will lead to sadness.

Happiness is found within. Positive thoughts create positive things.

Smiles are contagious. Kindness is free.

You only fail if you quit. What goes around comes around.

If this has resonated with you get in touch today. Through personalised guidance, I will help you to learn to live in the moment and change the way you are thinking about what you think about yourself.

Get in touch today. Email hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Many people don’t understand the importance of working with a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

Get in touch today.

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

by

Confidence sapping friends and colleagues

The people with whom you have the most contact and hang around will have either a positive or negative effect on your levels of self-esteem and confidence.  We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around. How do they make you feel? Yes, they make you feel the same!  They can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with positive, can do vibes that has a knock on effect onto everyone else.

Photo by Matheus Bertelli on Pexels.com

We also know of those people who could moan for England! They never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers. These people drain your energy and bring you down to their level, a million miles away from the level that YOU want to be operating on . Family members can be a lot like this as well, but you can always choose your friends, you can’t choose your relatives! So what should you do to make sure that the people who you hang around with empower and support what you stand for rather than bring you down all of the time?

You have the power to choose who you hang around with. Ideally you want happy, vibrant and positive people.  If you have good friends who are negative and yet you still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how you feel – if they are a true friend they will respect you for this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity. The same can be said with family. Your more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years and years and from different eras. Appreciate where they have come from and as in number 2 above, elicit and select the information that filters through to your brain. Remember, that nothing has meaning in life except the meaning that you give it.

If this has resonated with you get in touch today. Through personalised guidance, I will help you to create your own boundaries so you will rebuild confidence in yourself.

Get in touch today. Email hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Many people don’t realise the importance of working with a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

Get in touch today.

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

by

Give yourself permission to simply ‘be’.

The elation that we feel when we have learned an important lesson, achieved a goal, or had a big breakthrough can sometimes be met with a period of downtime afterward. During this period of transition, we may feel unsure and not know where to turn next. I know that during this period of downtime, we can begin to wonder what our life is about, what our purpose is. These feelings are very common and we all feel them from time to time. Often, we feel best when we are working on a project or vigorously pursuing a goal. But there is nothing inherently wrong with spending a day, a week or even a month, simply existing and not having a plan. Just being. I know that I have found sometimes the quiet lull between ideas, projects, and goals can make life appear empty. I know there are some people who, after accomplishing one objective, want to move immediately on to the next.

 However, we are all different.  When you find that your next step is unclear, it is quite natural to feel frustrated, or disconnected or even a mild depression. To help calm what can be distressing thoughts, learn to accept that you will continue to grow as an individual whether you are striving for a specific objective or not. Just be and use all the time you need to think about what you have recently gone through and leisurely contemplate what you wish to do next.

You may also find that in simply being and going through the motions of everyday life, you reconnect with your priorities in a very organic, unforced way. I have found that this transition time is different all the time. It can be a period of reflection or a period of adjustment where new values based on recent changes can be integrated. Just because you have temporarily lost sight of a final destination, doesn’t mean you should assume that you have lost your drive. Where you are going next will become apparent at the right time for you.

If this has resonated with you get in touch today. Through personalised guidance, I will help you develop a positive mindset and create lasting changes in your life. What are you not happy with in your life? What are you happy with in your life? Find out how to change some of your habits for a better life.

Get in touch today. Email hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Many people don’t realise the importance of working with a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

Get in touch today.

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Share this:

by

Being ready to receive what you want

Very often we go through life with defences that we developed early on. These act as barriers or walls we needed at one time to feel safe but that now serve to shut out desired influences, like intimacy or love. In order to get what we want in life, we have to be willing to receive it when it appears, and in order to do that, we have to be open. An essential part of being ready to receive what we want is to soften these barriers enough to let those things in when they show up. For example, we may spend a lot of time alone as a way to protect ourselves from being hurt by other people, but this prevents us from meeting new friends.

Photo by ROCKETMANN TEAM on Pexels.com

Another obstacle to receiving can be our tendency to believe that we have to act aggressively in order to achieve our desired goal. These types of beliefs can give us tunnel vision, so we fail to see and be open to other opportunities. Becoming ready to receive often involves softening our defences and fostering a willingness to remain open to possibilities outside our immediate realm of vision.

If we are looking for love or friendship, it means first looking within ourselves to see where we are shut down and then, not getting too fixated on where we might find the love we want. In this way, we become more open as individuals and more expansive in terms of what we see as possible.

If this has resonated with you get in touch today. Through personalised guidance, I help you develop a positive mindset and create lasting changes in your life. What are you not happy with in your life? What are you happy with in your life? Find out how to change some of your habits for a better life.

Get in touch today. Email hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

Many people don’t realise the importance of working with a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

Get in touch today.

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

by

Invest in yourself. 

In these turbulent times there is one investment that you can be sure won’t let you down. Investment in yourself.  It may be that you feel your confidence has been derailed by recent events. Investing in your own personal Life Coach is one answer to getting back on track. Ask yourself this question – How do you live your life? Do you live it at cause or at effect? And what does that mean for you? Take two people going for different jobs, both having all the right credentials and experience for the role. One of them approaches their interview from the perspective that it’s completely down to their performance as to whether they get the job or not. They will choose how to present and project themselves and they will take 100% responsibility for their result. They feel pretty confident and in control.

Photo by cottonbro studio on Pexels.com

The other person is approaching their interview differently – from the perspective that they’ll do the best they can, but ultimately it’s down to the interviewer’s opinion of them and the other candidates’ performance against theirs. They feel they have little control over the outcome, which makes them pretty nervous, and they believe that interview situations never bring out the best in them, so why should this one be any different?  Which one is more likely to be successful? My guess would be the first person. A clear example of being ‘at cause’.  We know that a cause is something that makes something else happen. So when we’re talking about living at cause, it’s all about causing things to happen, making choices, taking action and full responsibility. Notice the position of power this puts you in. On the other side of the equation, an effect is what happens because of the cause. So living on the effect side means having things happen to us, living with excuses and reasons why something couldn’t be, the choice and responsibility is ‘taken’ out of our hands. It’s a feeling of powerlessness and of being the victim, in many cases.

The interesting thing is, that people on either side of the equation, whether at cause or effect, will each walk away patting themselves on the back. Why? Well, of course, the ‘at cause’ group chose to have their result and they got it. While for the ‘at effect’ people it was completely out of their hands right from the start. They found a reason (excuse?) why they couldn’t have their result and walked away saying “see, I knew it wouldn’t work”. Either way they were right. So the question you should really be asking yourself is – not which side do you live at, but which side do you want to live at? Cause or effect? The key point here is that at any given moment, you have the choice. You either allow what’s happening to affect you and hold on to your excuses. Or you take full responsibility for what is going on and choose to get your result. I know which I choose! So get out there and invest in yourself. As the consumer you have the choice of individual one-to-one life enhancing sessions in person or over the telephone or, if you prefer, you can choose one of the hundreds of inspirational one-day or half-day  workshops on offer where not only experiences are shared and ideas bounced off each other, but new friends are made. Just the discovery that you aren’t the only one in this situation is very empowering. Don’t be one of the 90% of people who will look back with regret, knowing their lives could have been different. Take this golden opportunity to invest in yourself. The investment that won’t let you down.

If this has resonated with you in any way, and you would like help to make some life enhancing decisions, get in touch hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk. Work with me, improve your confidence and and see how much more you can achieve. Relearn how to live your life in the front row, re-take control of your own life. 

Many people don’t realise the importance of securing a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

Get in touch today.

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

by

Layers of feelings

Many people, myself included, were taught from a young age to suppress feelings commonly regarded as negative, such as anger, resentment, fear and sorrow. Some of those people who cannot or will not express these emotions have been known to engage in passive-aggressive behaviours that provide them with a means of redirecting their feelings. Passive aggression can take many forms: People who feel guilty saying “no” may continually break their promises because they couldn’t say no when they meant it. Others will substitute snide praise for a slur to distance themselves from the intense emotions they feel. More often than not, such behaviour is a cry for help uttered by those in need of compassion and gentle guidance.



When we recognise passive-aggressive patterns in the behaviour of others, we should not allow ourselves to be drawn into a struggle for power. Passive aggression is most often wielded by those who feel powerless in the face of what they perceive as negative emotions because they hope to avoid confronting their true feelings. They feel they are in control because they do not display overt emotion and maybe cannot understand how they have alienated their peers. If someone close to us shows signs of frustration or annoyance but claims nothing is amiss, we can point out that their tone of voice or gestures are communicating a different message and invite them to confide in us. When we feel slighted by a backhanded compliment, it is important that we calmly explain how the jibe made us feel and why. And when an individual continually breaks their promises, we can help them understand that they are free to say no if they are unwilling to help.

As you learn to detect passive aggression, you may be surprised to see a hint of it in yourself. Coping with the natural human tendency to veil intense emotions can be as simple as reminding yourself that expressing your true feelings is healthy. The emotions typically regarded as negative will frequently be those that inspire you to change yourself and your life for the better, whereas passive-aggressive behaviour is a means of avoiding change. When you deal constructively with your feelings, you can put them behind you and move forward unencumbered by unexplored emotion.

If this has resonated with you in any way, and you would like to explore your confidence, please get in touch. hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk. Work with me, improve your confidence and see how much more you can achieve. Relearn how to live your life in the front row, take control of your own life. 

Work with me, improve your confidence and see how much more you can achieve. Many people don’t realise the importance of securing a qualified, experienced and expert coach to help rebuild their confidence in themselves. It is just as important as a mechanic for a garage or a chef for a restaurant.

Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Multi Award Winning Transformational Coach & Author

Southern Enterprise Awards: Most Empowering Transformation Coach 2021

Southern Enterprise Awards: Transformational Coach of the Year 2022

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

by

Whatever we believe becomes our reality. 

We tend to ignore information that we think is inconsistent with our reality. Successful people absolutely believe that they have the ability to succeed. They do not think or talk about the possibilities of failing. They do not even consider the possibility of failure. We usually act in a manner consistent with our beliefs. The most important belief system we can build is one where we absolutely believe that we are going succeed. This is called positive thinking, confirming our reality that we absolutely know that no matter what, we will be successful.

Often positive thinking is difficult because our parents or guardians only gave love and approval to their children when they did something that they wanted them to do.  If we grew up with this kind of conditional love we will inevitably tend to seek unconditional approval from others.  When we become adults, this need for approval from the parent is transferred to the workplace and to our boss or workmates. We can become preoccupied with the opinion of the boss and some totally imagined high standard. If we can change the way we think about ourselves and our potential, we can open new doors to unlimited possibilities and point ourselves in the right direction to a better, more fulfilling professional and personal life.  We should not think about what other people think of us, but we should concentrate on what we want and adjust our thinking so that we will achieve it. 

To begin to change the way we think about ourselves, we need to stimulate our imaginations.  This can be done by writing down a clear and detailed description of our ideal outcome.  We must be absolutely clear about the outcome, but we must also be flexible about the process of achieving it. 

There is a method you can use to see yourself having achieved your outcome.  It is called the ‘Hindsight Tool’.  It works like this:  

  • Think about the outcome you want, visualise yourself as having achieved it. 
  • In your mind imagine yourself in, say, five years time, picture yourself being the successful person you want to be. How would you look? What would you be wearing? What would you be saying or doing?  Who would be around you, who wouldn’t be around you? 
  • Then use the ‘hindsight tool’  –  turn round and look back to the present and see what course and actions you took, what mistakes you may have made and how you corrected them.

It may be that the outcome you imagined is not exactly what you hoped for.  That is fine and very normal.  Re-think your outcome and do the process over again.  You can do this many times until you get the outcome you want.  Then put it all into practice. 

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you. Get in touch today to book your coaching sessions.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

by

Expanding Your Comfort Zone

None of us is born with a manual that gives explicit rules for thought and behaviour that will enable us to navigate life successfully. Each of us develops a set of routines and habits to ground us so we can cope with the complexities to which all of humanity is subject.  their continuity assuring us that life is progressing normally. Most of us instinctively know that transformations can be uncomfortable, but we always learn and gain so much. Any discomfort we experience when expanding our comfort zones diminishes gradually as we become accustomed to change and begin to understand that temporary discomfort is a small price to pay for the transformation.

Your current comfort zone did serve a purpose in your life. But it is representative of behaviours and patterns of thought that empowered you to cope with challenges of days past. Now, your comfort zone does not facilitate the growth you wish to achieve in the present. Leaving your comfort zone behind through personal expansion of any kind can prepare you to take the larger leaps that will, in time, help you refine your purpose. Work your way outward at your own pace, and try not to let your discomfort interfere with your resolve. With the passage of each well-earned triumph, you will have grown and your comfort zone will have expanded to accommodate this evolution.

Whether your comfort zone is living with your parents, or perhaps being too shy to socialise, or maybe not changing the filling in your sandwich, whatever it is, start small, and you will discover that venturing beyond the limited comfort zone you now cling to is not as stressful an experience as you imagined it might be. And the joy you feel upon challenging yourself in this way will nearly always outweigh your discomfort. As you continue to expand your comfort zone to include new ideas, activities, goals, and experiences, you will see that you are capable of stimulating change and coping with the fresh challenges that accompany it.

Maggie Currie

Professional Award Winning Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

by

Do you think you are ‘fine’?

I am aware there are a lot of people who think that they are ‘fine’ and certainly believe they have no need of coaching of any sort.  They are mistaken in their belief that there is nothing anyone else can do to help them, that there isn’t anybody else out there in the entire world who is in, or has been in, the same or similar situations as them.  They continue to plod on through life without help, without looking for answers to their questions and still believing that there is nothing they or anyone else can do to change their current situations.

I know differently.  I have been on both sides of that argument and I know exactly what I am talking about.  I have been there, I have resisted being coached. I have been coaching for 17 years and successfully changed the lives of lots of people, both male and female, young and old.  But, and this is a big BUT, I resisted being coached myself because my ego kept telling me that I was ok, I was ‘fine’.

I began an online coaching programme, and as I read through the pages I was intrigued by the depth of work that had been put into the various modules.  I was not that keen when I was told that I would have to be coached myself, and I was l a little resistant (well my ego was) but I agreed. And I haven’t looked back.

 I worked through the programme from beginning to end, my ego has been booted into the back of beyond, I love being coached, I love coaching, I love watching people change and grow and I love all the friends I have made and continue to make.  We support each other online, on the phone, via email. We encourage each other and we learn and grow more and more each day.

So, are you in need of coaching? I suspect you are.  Are you really ‘fine’?

Do you think that you would like to experience being coached for yourself? Are you a coach who, like I did, thinks that you don’t need coaching? I was wrong, could you be too? Get in touch today to start working on yourself. 

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you. Get in touch today to book your coaching sessions.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk