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Mixed emotions – why this is good for me! And for you.

I have some mixed emotions today. I am feeling better in myself intermittently, this flu bug is very annoying and keeps making me feel tired and irritable. Sometimes I think it is lifting, and then it drags me down again. I know it is only temporary, I am fighting it and it won’t beat me.

I am feeling frustrated with the leaseholders of my flat. They are driving me mad! I live in a lovely flat that I own, it is upstairs on the first floor (second floor if you are in USA) and I have beautiful views of the Solent, the mainland, green fields, trees and the ever changing occupants of the fields –  cows, sheep,  pheasants wander through, a horse grazes, wild birds land and take off.

Now I understand fire regulations and the need for them, what I don’t understand is the constant hassle I receive from the leaseholders. I recently replaced my armchairs and offered the old ones to the lovely lady who does my cleaning, Shirley. She was delighted as her daughter is moving into a flat and needs furniture and she said she would collect them as soon as she could arrange it. So I put them out on the communal landing overnight, until she could come and get them. Would you believe that the fire inspection officer came round yesterday and has given me an enforcement notice saying that if I don’t remove everything from the landing within 24 hours they will be taken away.

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Fortunately Shirley came and collected the chairs last night so this is not a problem now. But it seems that I am not being allowed to live my life any more. I have had to clear out the loft because it is claimed that storing anything in the loft is a fire hazard. When you consider that I have downsized twice from a 4 bedroom house, to a 3 bedroom house to a 2 bedroom flat, there is a whole lot of stuff that has been stored in the loft. I have given some away, I have sold some things, and there is still a load of stuff in my living room that I am constantly tripping over. Apparently the loft space is not for storage and the leaseholders own that space.

The leaseholders have already taken off my front door and replaced it with a solid wood fire door with a tiny window that does not let in enough light.  I was threatened with court if I did not comply.  My lovely double glazed front door is now on the communal landing and is the subject of a legal dispute.  That is not going anywhere and if it attempted to be removed by the fire inspection officer I will be instructing my solicitor that I am being harassed by the leaseholders. My lovely front door has been perfectly fine for 10 years, so why can’t I put it back?

I have had enough! I want to move and I want to move now!  I am looking for opportunities and for ways of moving.

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So my emotions are up and down – I am so pleased to have emotions that I can relate to, this is such a huge step forward for me. Onward and upward.

I know there are people out there who can relate to all or part of this and if you would like to get in touch, please do.  I have been through this before during divorce and know how frustrating it can be when all the frustration of divorce, house moving, upheaval and starting afresh takes its toll on the emotions.  I know I can help you to get through divorce and come out the other side in control of your life.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Do you really know when you are in need of coaching?

I know there are a lot of people who think that they are ‘fine’ and certainly have no need of coaching of any sort.  They are mistaken in their belief that there is nothing anyone else can do to help them.  They mistakenly believe that there is nobody else out there in the entire world who is in, or has been in, the same or similar situations as them.  They continue to plod on through life without help, without looking for answers to their questions and still believing that there is nothing they or anyone else can do to change their current situations. They continue to suffer needlessly.

I know differently.  I have been on both sides of that argument,  and I know exactly what I am talking about.  I have been there, I have resisted being coached. My ego kept telling me I didn’t need to be coached as I am a coach myself.  How wrong could I have been?

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I have also been in a place where I didn’t know coaching existed.   When I was going through divorce I had no perception of a way out of despair and misery.  I blundered along totally unaware that help was out there.  I had no idea at that time that there were coaches out there who could help me. Had I known that help was available for me from a coach I would have been first in the queue. It would have saved me years of heartache and anguish.

Since discovering coaching and training to become a coach myself with some of the top people in the country, I have been coaching for many years and successfully changed the lives of lots of people, including my own.  But, and this is a big BUT, I resisted being coached myself because my ego kept telling me that I was okay, I was ‘fine’.

Why do women stay in abusive relationships?

So what changed? I have taken a good look at me and my ego has been booted into the back of beyond’.  I hired my own coach and I love being coached as much as I love coaching.  I adore watching people change and grow through my coaching skills.  I love all the friends I have made who are also coaches, some of them are on different continents.  I love how we support each other online, on the phone, via Skype. We encourage each other and we learn and grow more and more each day.

Coaching and being coached have changed my life dramatically. Do you want to change your life?

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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The proper nourishment for my body

I recently spent 5 days working at a festival, starting at 8am and finishing around 9pm, little time for nourishment for me. I enjoyed meeting all the clients and was really pleased that I could relieve their headaches, release the tension in their shoulders and so much more with the head massages I provided.

Of course this left very little time for eating properly. Breakfast was a bowl of cereal and some toast. Mid morning brought biscuits or crisps, lunchtime was sausage rolls and pork pies or a bacon sandwich. In the evening we did manage to cook a ‘proper’ meal like pasta or meat pie, potatoes and vegetables, but were too tired to really enjoy it.

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At the time the days just whizzed by and I didn’t pay much attention to my feelings or what was happening to my body. I just got on with the work and loved it all. When I returned home, however, this was a different matter entirely. I felt sluggish, had a few spots, needed a couple of days of normal food to get my body and myself back on track.

I felt physically drained and tired, I felt mentally exhausted, and my stomach (which has to be nurtured all the time due to severe illness as a child) felt unsettled. I felt sick, tired, unmotivated and exhausted all round.

A week later, some proper meals inside me and taking more notice of what I am eating, and when I am eating it, has brought about a different ME. I am energised, not tired or exhausted and motivated to get on with everything.

I was never this aware of how I felt or how my body responded to food, lack of food, different foods, eating habits until I worked on me and discovered so much more about myself. I have learned that I control my destiny, I control who I am, I control what I eat and if I let go of that control I am no longer being me, I am succumbing to someone who used to be me.

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When I was going through divorce I wasn’t eating properly, I was worrying, crying and just trying to survive.  Looking back I realise I didn’t have any idea about what I was doing to my body.  I was the last thing on my mind.

Today, watching what I eat, when I eat it, how I feel, noticing my body’s reactions are now daily habits and I amaze myself with my own awareness. Of course there are slip ups, I am not perfect, and I have to fit in with working away from home etc., but in general it all works very well for me.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Noticing my feelings and emotions

I have been noticing my reactions both physically and mentally to a situation.

I was at a weekly networking breakfast and was collared by one of the members. Her husband has applied to join the group and the rules state that only one type of each profession is permitted, and no direct competition – although there are a few businesses that cross over but offer slightly different services. Her husband is a trainer and covers a lot of what I do, so I objected on those grounds. I don’t even know the man, so I have nothing against him personally.

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Well she had printed out copies of her husband’s website and copies of mine and circled bits and pieces and told me, in no uncertain terms, that I had made a mistake and that I should go away and read these pages and come to a different decision. Not the greatest thing to be greeted with as soon as I arrived at the meeting at 06.50! I told her I would read them.

Having been working very hard on myself I have learned much more about myself and how to notice, acknowledge and deal with my feelings and emotions. So I took real notice of what my body was telling me and what my head was telling me. I noticed that I had a knot in my stomach, I felt physically sick. I was angry that I had been accosted in this fashion and with her bully boy tactics. I sat and analysed how I was feeling and what I was feeling and I was feeling anger, frustration, annoyance and I was feeling upset.

I did read the pages that had been printed out. I did not however change my mind. I wrote to the chairman of the group as follows:

‘I was very disappointed with the behaviour of this person this morning and found her attitude and bully boy tactics to be totally uncalled for. Having said that I have read through the printouts of the website that were thrust into my hand and I am still of the same opinion.

There are many things that the applicant does that I do. For instance Motivation, Dealing with Personal Stress, Mentoring, Train the Trainer, People Management, Leadership, Facilitation, Customer Care. So I am still not happy with this businesses joining our group as it will be in direct competition with me.’

Having written this email I noticed how I was feeling again. I sat and took real notice. I felt calm and collected, no longer frustrated or annoyed and I wasn’t upset any longer. It feels right to me, and I know that I am right. I object to being treated in this manner, but I am sending thoughts of love to her and shall treat her in the same way as always.

New for 2013. From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again

I know that I have made a huge leap here in my personal growth in noticing my feelings and emotions and acting and not reacting to them.

I only wish I had known how to do this when I was going through divorce and the aftermath of divorce.  It would have been so much easier for me.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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It went wrong, but it went right too!

On a peer coaching call yesterday I was tasked to record the whole thing. I knew what I had to do, I had the instructions in front of me. I dialled in as the host, I dialled *9 to record and the automated voice told me I was not authorised at this time to record this call. So that didn’t happen. Was it the end of the world? No, indeed it was not.

Gina, Heather, Teri and I had an animated conversation covering all sorts of different topics, we laughed and reconnected as we hadn’t all spoken for several weeks due to holidays and illness. We all learned something, we all taught someone something, we definitely connected and we were relaxed, trusting and open.

Sometimes things just don’t work, and maybe there is a reason for them not working, maybe it is just technology being too sophisticated, maybe it is just not meant to be.

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The gift of this situation was renewed connection with my friends in deed, a sense of belonging, trust and belief in each other and ourselves, learning from each other and of course trusting each other.

I am amazed at how far I have come. In the beginning on our weekly calls I would say very little. I would listen and absorb all that was said and all the lessons I was learning. I gradually learned that I could not only trust my friends in deed but that I could trust myself too. And that was a huge lesson for me.

Your life does not resemble anybody else's

I can now say what I think and know that it is well received, it may not always be agreed with, but where would we be without our own values and opinions?

There are so many gifts from this situation. The love and trust of friends, the learning, the teaching, the compassion, the truth, the bonds and so much more.

I may not have recorded the call for everyone to hear, but those that were on the call will remember it for some time to come.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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What do I see in the world that is awesome?

There is so much in the world that is awesome. Just looking out of my living room window I can see Hurst Castle and the Solent running between there and the Island. Further to the left there are views of Christchurch and Bournemouth, just across the water.  A myriad of boats and ships ply up and down going from who knows where to various destinations around the world.

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Further to the left are the rolling hills that shield me from Alum Bay and the Needles. Every Thursday night in August there are fireworks from the beach at Alum Bay and they are quite spectacular to watch and enjoy.

Further to the left I can see the Tennyson Monument, erected in honour of Alfred Lord Tennyson who lived at Farringford and who wrote his poetry there. Farringford House is being restored as a museum in honour of Tennyson.

Closer to me just outside the window is a farmer’s field that changes with the seasons. Sometimes there are sheep grazing in it and sometimes cows. The sheep wander up and down in rows, following the leader. The cows tend to walk in single file, still following the leader.  Often the grass is just growing.

Just across the road is a camping site for caravans and tents. This is usually full of people from May to September and the sounds of people having fun and playing rounders or football can be heard. Families come for long weekends or two-week holidays.  They bring their motor caravans, towing caravans, trailer tents or pop up tents and they are at home there for their stay.

Looking out of the window of my office at the back of the flat I can see houses and bungalows that back onto our garden. The people who live in them are going about their lives and their views from their windows are totally different.

On a broader scale in the world I see people doing simple acts of kindness, such as helping people with their shopping, visiting lonely people, taking somebody else’s dog for a walk. These little acts are awesome in themselves.

I also see and sense the change in the consciousness of the world as a whole. I see the work that I do through coaching and mentoring changing lives for the better, one life at a time, one thought at a time. This is just awesome too!

This is a far cry from when I was going through divorce and I couldn’t see any way out of my situation, let alone stop and smell the roses.  I felt total despair, lonely, frightened and unworthy.

A grateful attitude helps in times of extreme stress

I have turned my life around and learned how to coach others to do the same. I never want them to be in the position I was in with nobody to turn to.

When we take the time to be thankful for all that we have and for those who are our friends and loved ones, we find that are so many things in this world that are awesome and no doubt there are a million or more things to discover. I am enjoying the journey and the endless discoveries.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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My feelings of inadequacy today

I have some feelings of inadequacy and of not being good enough. I am not sure where they are coming from but I woke up feeling that way. I do remember feeling this way when I was going through divorce and in the aftermath of that process. I didn’t like it then, and I don’t like it now.

Today I went to a breakfast business networking meeting, one I go to every Thursday morning at 7am, which means getting up at 5am to be showered and dressed for business by 6.15am at the latest. Then a 10 mile drive.

Usually these meetings are full of energy and fun and are a pleasure to be at, but today was a little different. One of our members has split with her significant other and moved off the Island and is living with her parents on the mainland. This person will be sadly missed as she is vibrant, honest, straight talking and fun. So there was an air of sadness that she has suddenly gone.

There were also some people there who were revelling in this news and making stupid comments, which I tried to ignore, but they were so unnecessary and I thought it was shameful. I said nothing as I didn’t want to get into a stupid argument.

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When the meeting finished I had a couple of tasks to complete.  They should have taken about twenty minutes but ended up taking nearly an hour due to ‘technical problems’.  The lady who served me is also one of those people I try to avoid as she drains all the energy from me and is very critical of every one and every thing.

So instead of getting back to the office by 9am to get stuck into my work, I didn’t get back until nearly 10.30 and then I was all behind and annoyed that things didn’t work out.

I sat and thought about what it was that was making me feel inadequate. Not the fact that I was late getting back to the office. Not the fact that we had lost a great member of our networking group. So what was it? And then it came to me.

Last night I was on a fabulous phone call with three of my coach colleagues. The creativity and ideas were flowing from two of them, and what brilliant ideas they were. I am in awe of their power to think these things through so easily and clearly. I know that marketing has to be done, and I know I have to do it, but that is not my expertise.

So, I believe that I am feeling inadequate because I had absolutely nothing to add to these two brilliant coaches’ thoughts and ideas. They had done their homework fantastically and presented their ideas and innovations in clear and concise ways, and they were great ideas and I know they will work.

I feel that my strengths lie elsewhere, but at this particular moment I am not sure where.

I hate feeling this way and it makes me really upset to think this way. I know that I am a brilliant coach and that I do make a huge difference to people’s lives and that I will continue to do so.

Having written all this I am now feeling much better and know that I have a lot to offer but not necessarily in the same way as other people.  I also know that I should not compare myself to other people, that is definitely a confidence killer.

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So, to re-boot my confidence I have written a list of my creativity and innovativity (is that a word?) and here is the list I have come up with:
My creativity 

Brilliant cook
Expert typist
Can set out a document by eye, and it will look great on the page.
Brilliant writer
Fabulously intuitive
Do my accounts satisfactorily
Create a good workspace
Create opportunities for clients
Great supporter
Impactful
Great teacher
Create goals for my clients and for myself

My Innovativity

Build relationships online and in person
Think up new ways for my clients to succeed
Find new ways for me to succeed
Lead by example
Positive and encouraging to all
Hear beyond the words

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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My journey for me as a coach working with my coach

A lot of the work that I have done  has been on my emotions.  These could have been those that I am feeling now at this very moment, or at some time in the past that I have yet to acknowledge and deal with.  One of those emotions was that of guilt and/or shame and it was connected to meals I was served up by my parents.

I can remember being aged about 7 and I was sitting at the dinner table with my parents and my brother, who is three years older than me, and we were having Sunday dinner.  It was a roast with roast potatoes, vegetables and gravy.  I didn’t want to eat all my dinner for whatever reason.  So I was told by my mother that if I didn’t eat my dinner there was a child in Africa who had no food at all and who would be very grateful to get my dinner.

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Now being 7 years old I didn’t dare answer back so I gradually stuffed all the dinner into my mouth and eventually it was all gone.  All the time I was thinking to myself how on earth do they intend to pack up this roast dinner with all the vegetables, roast potatoes and gravy?  Are they going to put it in an envelope and post it to Africa?  How will they know which child will get the dinner?  What state will the food be in when it gets to Africa which is trillions of miles away? How will they know if a child in Africa has eaten it? What if that child doesn’t want it, will it be sent back to me? And so the thoughts went on.

All the while I was feeling guilty for apparently wasting food and shameful because I was depriving a child in Africa of a dinner.  And these emotions and feelings were left undealt with until I worked through them and wrote about how angry I was that they had made me eat all that food I didn’t want and resentful of that child in Africa who wanted my food.  I was hurt that this emotional blackmail was used on me.  I was afraid that if I didn’t eat all the food my parents would not love me any more and this led to me feeling insecure.  As I said I felt guilty for wasting food. But I loved my parents and I understand now that they were doing the best they could and I can now forgive them and I want them to know that I love them still and always will.

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Part of this learning for me was writing my thoughts and experiences in my journal. Something I was quite resistant to at first, but I have benefited so much and learned so much about me that I love it now and enjoy writing in it every day and noting my continued progress.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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A ‘safe’ place to be

I was thinking today about where a ‘safe’ place to be is for me.  I am not talking about a physical place, but somewhere in my mind I can go to relax, think, mentally re-charge and just be.  A place where my emotions are calm and all the negative stuff in the world is banished and there are no energy draining people to affect my life. And it came to me, my own parallel universe. I can create this in my imagination and build a picture that is so vivid and inviting for me.

Then I thought, how will I begin?  Should I do the location first, or should I create what I want in the location first and then create somewhere.  Do I want it to be the same every time or do I want to be able to change it around and have more or less in my parallel universe?

I am coming to the conclusion that my parallel universe will be a tranquil island with silver sands surrounded by blue, clear water.  In the water dolphins are playing.  The temperature will be ideal for me, the grass lush and green. There is a waterfall making a pleasant whooshing noise and there are brightly coloured birds fluttering around and playing with the butterflies and dragonflies.

‘Get back to me retreat’ Friday March 15th to Sunday March 17th 2013

I have a lovely garden room that has my comfy chair in it that hugs me and makes me feel so welcome, so that I can sit and relax and take in the scenery.  There are bookshelves full of books written by so many wise people for me to learn from.

That is the basis of my parallel universe and every time I go there I will see if something else needs to be added, or someone depending on what I am thinking about or which problem I am endeavouring to solve.  It may be that something needs to be taken away and put back at a later date.

I am now thinking about a name for my parallel universe. This place where I can go whenever I choose and sit and reflect and think and learn.  Nothing is coming to mind at the moment. I shall leave that idea open and see what comes to me.

Your life does not resemble anybody else's

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Who are my friends?

My friends, with whom I like to spend time, are very few. I have some really good friends here on the Isle of Wight where I live and, on occasion we take time out to have a meal, meet up for a drink or just to natter. I know I can trust these friends, they are there to support me, as I am them. They don’t drain the energy out of me and I like being with them and hearing about their successes. Equally they like being me with and hearing about my successes.  We support each other in good times and bad and we can count on each other. We intuitively know when something is wrong and do our best to help whoever needs it.

I have some very good friends who live on the mainland.  I used to work with them and we meet up several times a year for  ‘Ladies who lunch’ days.  We meet, have coffee and catch up, wander around the shops either window shopping or buying, have lunch, more shopping and chatting.  A thoroughly good time is had and we each look forward to meeting up and hearing how we are all getting on.

Four Women Friends at the Beach

I have some friends that I have known for 50 years. We meet up occasionally and it is as if we only saw each other yesterday.  We communicate on social media and email and it is always lovely to actually get to see them in person.  We always laugh and have such a good time.

I have more good friends who are also my fellow coaches. I haven’t met up with them physically yet,  but I know they are there for me and will support me and love me. They know that I am there for them too and will love and support them. We don’t judge or criticise, we support and encourage. These are my friends-in-deed and I look forward to our calls each week  and our interactions online daily. We learn so much about ourselves and each other and helps our personal growth.

I have some so-called friends who I keep as clear of as I can as they drain my energy and, although they appear to be givers, they are in fact takers. I don’t expect everyone to give to me, and at the same time I don’t expect them to keep taking either. These people are toxic to me and I avoid them where possible.

There are some people who are truly motivational and they include  Mother Teresa who, although is no longer with us, has made some truly mind-blowing statements and did such great work so selflessly. There is, of course, my dad who is no longer with us, but who was wise and always had time for me. Often over a cup of coffee I will think about him and remember the good times.

 

Getting our lives back after divorce

 

My husband Kelvin inspires me with his constant support. He is my rock and without him I would be lost. He loves me unconditionally, as I love him, and he supports me in all that I do, as I support him. He allows me to be me and that is very valuable to me.

My friends-in-deed bring me positive energy and we are mirrors for each other. We inspire each other with our learnings and teachings. My friends here on the Island and on the mainland inspire me with their achievements and energy. I love hearing all about how successful people are and it pleases me to think that I have helped them with their success in some small way and have eased their emotional pain.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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