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Can you enjoy Valentine’s Day as a single person – or away from your loved one?

There is so much emphasis on love and marriage leading up to Valentine’s Day and on the day itself.  There are adverts everywhere and shops are full of gifts, treats and cards all specifically for this occasion. But not everyone buys into this sentiment.  And there is no reason why everyone should.   So how can you survive and keep your sanity if you can’t or don’t want to buy into it? There are so many ways to make sure you enjoy yourself on your own.

You are probably feeling that you have nobody to rely on but yourself,  and on this ‘special day’ my suggestion is to turn the focus of your attention to you.  Buy yourself something special, something you will love.  Maybe treat yourself to a day pampering yourself with doing your nails, styling your hair, giving yourself a facial, or treat yourself to a special meal and enjoy it at home.  You don’t have to cook it yourself, order it by phone and have it delivered to your door.  Use your favourite crockery, buy a bottle of wine and just enjoy being you, the lovely you that you know you are.

Maybe you could get a few of the worst romantic comedy films you can find and watch them and make fun of all those dreadful films.  Have a fun evening.

If you have children, maybe make the day special for them, as well as you.  Buy them some little gifts – maybe chocolate, stuffed toys, model cars etc.  You could make a present hunt with clues so they have fun trying to find the little gifts.  Whatever it is you choose, make sure it is fun. 

Another way to look at Valentine’s Day is to make some new resolutions, as most New Year’s resolutions were made 6 weeks ago. Make a Valentine’s Day resolution to love yourself, resolve to take some evening classes, resolve to go on that trip you have always promised yourself, make a start towards the dreams you know you want to achieve.  Resolve to try out new recipes. Resolve to date yourself, plan life around yourself and learn to love yourself again.  This will not only be fun and interesting but loving yourself is the basis of being the confident you.

In the short-term be prepared for personal questions from friends and co-workers about your plans for your  Valentine’s Day alone.  Have an answer even if it is ‘no comment’.

Don’t get dressed up as that invites questions. Avoid tv programmes filled with loves stories.

Remember it is just one day.  Shut your door, eat what you want, read a good book, watch your favourite film, do what is fun for you.  It will all be over in the morning.

If you would like, you could wait until February 15th and buy yourself a heart-shaped box of chocolates at half the price. Buy yourself some flowers at half price too.

Whatever you do, don’t sit at home being miserable and sorry for yourself because you don’t have a date for this silly day. If you do sit at home and feel sorry yourself don’t beat yourself up about it.  Remember, it is only one day, and there is nothing to be ashamed of in not participating in Valentine’s Day.  It is your prerogative, be true to YOU.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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How you see yourself

How you see yourself begins with a combination of all of the qualities and attributes of other people that you most admire.  Your ‘self-ideal’ is a description of the person you would very much like to be, if you could embody the qualities that you most aspire to.  In fact, everything that you do on a day-to-day basis is affected by your comparing your activities with these ideal qualities.  Not only that, you constantly strive to behave consistently with them. Successful people are usually very clear about being excellent in every part of their lives. Unsuccessful people frequently have fuzzy ideals.  

When you set higher and more challenging goals, your self-ideal improves and crystallises.  When you set goals for the kind of person you want to be and the kind of life you want to live, your self-ideal rises and becomes a greater guiding and motivating force in your life. Improvements in your self-ideal begin in your imagination where there are no limits except the ones that you create and accept. Be careful of the limits you set for yourself.  Are they in your best interest? Could you stretch those limits?  Do you have a vision of the very best person you could possibly become? How would you behave each day if you already were that person?  Make a picture in your mind of how you would look and stand, how you would appear to other people? Make that picture as bright and colourful as you can.  Hear what you hear, see what you see, feel what you feel.  Make it brighter and step into that picture.  Add smells and textures if you can.  Really be the person you are envisioning.

There are more things you can do immediately to put your ideas into action. Dream big dreams. Set big, exciting, challenging goals for yourself.  Allow yourself to imagine a wonderful life ahead. Step outside of your comfort zone.  Make sure the goals you set are achievable by you, or you will become very disappointed if you fail to achieve them. Think about how you would act if you were an outstanding person in every way.  Create that picture in your mind.  Then, practice being this person. You will immediately notice a difference in your behaviour.  Not only that, other people will notice too.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Invest in yourself. The investment that won’t let you down.

In these turbulent times there is one investment that you can be sure won’t let you down. Investment in yourself. It may be that you feel your confidence has been derailed by recent events. Investing in your own personal Life Coach is one answer to getting back on track. Ask yourself this question – How do you live your life? Do you live it at cause or at effect? And what does that mean for you?

Take two people going for different jobs, both having all the right credentials and experience for the roles. One of them approaches their interview from the perspective that it’s completely down to their performance as to whether they get the job or not. They will choose how to present and project themselves and they will take 100% responsibility for their result. They feel pretty confident and in control. The other person is approaching their interview differently – from the perspective that they’ll do the best they can, but ultimately it’s down to the interviewer’s opinion of them and the other candidates’ performance against theirs. They feel they have little control over the outcome, which makes them pretty nervous, and they believe that interview situations never bring out the best in them, so why should this one be any different?

Which one is more likely to be successful? My guess would be the first person. A clear example of being ‘at cause’.  We know that a cause is something that makes something else happen. So when we’re talking about living at cause, it’s all about causing things to happen, making choices, taking action and full responsibility.

Notice the position of power this puts you in. On the other side of the equation, an effect is what happens because of the cause. So living on the effect side means having things happen to us, living with excuses and reasons why something couldn’t be, the choice and responsibility is ‘taken’ out of our hands. It’s a feeling of powerlessness and of being the victim, in many cases. The interesting thing is, that people on either side of the equation, whether at cause or effect, will each walk away patting themselves on the back. Why? Well, of course, the ‘at cause’ group chose to have their result and they got it. While for the ‘at effect’ people it was completely out of their hands right from the start. They found a reason (excuse?) why they couldn’t have their result and walked away saying “see, I knew it wouldn’t work”. Either way they were right. So the question you should really be asking yourself is – not which side do you live at, but which side do you want to live at? Cause or effect? The key point here is that at any given moment, you have the choice. You either allow what’s happening to affect you and hold on to your excuses. Or you take full responsibility for what is going on and choose to get your result. I know which I choose!

So get out there and invest in yourself. As the consumer you have the choice of individual one-to-one life enhancing sessions in person or over the telephone or, if you prefer, you can choose one of the hundreds of inspirational one-day or half-day  workshops on offer where not only experiences are shared and ideas bounced off each other, but new friends are made. Just the discovery that you aren’t the only one in this situation is very empowering. Don’t be one of the 90% of people who will look back with regret, knowing their lives could have been different. Take this golden opportunity to invest in yourself. The investment that won’t let you down.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Confidence sapping friends, family and colleagues

Although it is a well known fact, there are still some people who are totally unaware that the people with whom they have the most contact and hang around will have either a positive or negative effect on their levels of self-esteem and confidence.  We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around. How do they make you feel? Yes, they make you feel the same!  They can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with positive, ‘can do’ vibes that has a zingy knock on effect onto everyone else.

We also know of those people who could moan for England, and continually do! Often the least confident people are the ones who moan about how hard done by they are, how they are overlooked for promotion, how they are never chosen for this team or that project.  They don’t realise how damaging they are to themselves and to other people. They claim they never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and they are negative thinkers – need I go on?

These people drain your energy and try to bring you down to their level, a million miles away from the level that YOU want to be operating on. Work colleagues can be like this and will affect you and your confidence levels if you allow them to.  When you have spend your working days with negative people, try to block out as much of the negativity as possible.  If there is one particular person who continually drags you down, take them to one side and explain how you feel and ask them to be more considerate of your feelings. Family members can be a lot like this as well, but although you can always choose your friends, you can never choose your relatives!

So what can you do to make sure that the people who you hang around with empower and support what you stand for, rather than bring you down all of the time?

You have the power to choose who you hang around with. Ideally you want happy, vibrant and positive people. You also have the power to choose who you don’t hang around with.  Be selective. If you have good friends who are negative and yet you still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how you feel – if they are a true friend they will respect you for this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity. The same can be said with family. Your more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years and years by their parents, teachers etc., and the conditioning has come from different eras. Appreciate where they have come from and be selective with the information that filters through to your brain. Discard the negative.

Remember, nobody can reduce your confidence levels unless you allow them to.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Looking Beyond Appearances

It is natural to judge people, since it just happens without us even thinking about it.  We take one look and in 2 seconds summarise our opinion of a whole person – overweight, pretty, stylish, sloppy. This habit comes from the brain’s need to categorise the world in order to be able to function without becoming overwhelmed.   Judging is your way of  identifying relevant information, you are trying to decide if the person approaching is a threat, a friend or someone you don’t need to worry about.  This way of looking at people makes sense in a dangerous context, but in your daily life it can lead to an overly simplistic reading of the people you meet.

If you have ever judged someone dismissively, only to have them become a good friend once you really got to know them, then you will understand the hazards of the judgment cycle. An experience like that may lead you to question your natural tendency to believe your first impressions.  

You will always notice things about the different people you meet, but as you become more conscious of the idiosyncrasies of judgement, you won’t be satisfied with your surface observations.  You  may notice that someone is driving an expensive car, but you will decide whether to befriend them based on getting to know them over time. You will not rule out a friendship with someone with unruly hair, especially if they turn out to have a great sense of humour and a kind heart.  Liking or disliking a person is a choice you will naturally make, but it will be after you have got to know them.

Next time you notice yourself judging somebody, stop.  Try to radiate love to that person.  Then listen to them openly or look them in the eye and learn more about them. If this is not easy for you, remember not to judge yourself either. Trust that, with practice, you will change your habitual judgemental patterns.  And as you do, you will find a whole new dimension of perception opening up to you, allowing you to see beyond the surface and into the essence of people you meet.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Criticism

We all make mistakes from time to time, it is human nature.  As we go through life we can take the opportunity to learn from any mistakes and improve ourselves.  Being criticised for making a mistake or for someone’s perception of your actions is ok if it is constructive.  The other type of criticism is destructive and is usually done by somebody attacking your character.

Bear in mind that criticism aimed at you may not make any sense at the time. Generally speaking there is usually a bit of truth in criticism, even when it appears to be given out of spite and/or bitterness.  It may be the case that a slight on your character is a reflection of how another person sees you at that point in time.  Take a step back and try to see things from their point of view. Maybe ask a trusted friend or relative for their honest opinion.  Use criticism wisely and as a learning experience, whether it is constructive or destructive.

Also remember that people who criticise a lot and make remarks to be hurtful are the ones that need the help, not you.  Criticism is an easy form of ego defence.  Critical people tend to be easily insulted and especially in need of ego defence.  Some people use criticism as a form of bullying to make you feel inferior and boost their opinion of themselves.

Anybody can criticise, condemn and complain, but it takes character and self-control to be understanding of people’s motives and to be forgiving of their actions.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Having consideration for others

Every action we take and every thought we think has an impact on the world around us. To be aware of this is to be conscious of our impact on all the people in our lives. Sometimes we just want to do what we want to do, but considering the full effects of our actions can be an important part of our growth and awareness. At first, being more conscious will need some effort, but once we have made it a habit, it will become second nature. The more we practice this awareness of others, the more we find ourselves in easy alignment with our integrity.

Our thoughts are an important place to begin this practice because our thoughts are the seeds of our actions. It is not necessary to obsessively monitor all our thoughts, but we can choose one thought or action per day and simply notice if we are in alignment with this experience of integrity. For example, we may find ourselves replaying a negative encounter with someone in our minds. We may think that this doesn’t affect the person about whom we are thinking, but the laws of energy tell us that it does. When we hold someone negatively in our minds, we risk trapping them in negativity. If we were this person, we might wish for forgiveness and release. We can offer this by simply letting go of the negative thought and replacing it with a wish for healing on that person’s behalf.

With regard to our actions, we may have something difficult to express to someone. Taking the time to consider how we would feel if we were in his or her shoes will enable us to communicate more sensitively than we would if we just expressed ourselves from our own perspective. When we change our approach by taking someone else’s feelings into account, we bring benefit to that person and ourselves equally. The more we do this, the more we reaffirm our integrity and the integrity of our relationship to the world around us.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Belly Laughs

When we were children we laughed hundreds of times each day, delighted by the newness of living. When we grew up we tended to not allow ourselves to let go in a good belly laugh for whatever reason.  We can get laughter back into our lives simply by making the conscious decision to laugh. Though most of us are incited to laugh only when exposed to humour or the unexpected, each of us is actually capable of laughing at will. A laugh that comes from the belly carries with it the same positive effects whether prompted by a funny joke or consciously willed into existence. When our laughter comes from the core of our being, it permeates every cell in our physical selves, beginning in the centre and radiating outward, a bit like the ripples on a pond, until we are not merely belly laughing but rather body laughing.

Photo by Singkham on Pexels.com

Laughter has been a part of the human mode of expression for thousands of years, probably before we humans learned to talk. Through it, we connected with allies while demonstrating our connection with people we didn’t know. In the present, laughter allows us to enjoy positive shared experiences with strangers and loved ones alike. Yet solitary laughter has its own range of benefits. An energetic and enthusiastic bout of whole-body laughter exercises the muscles, the lungs, and the mind in equal measure, leaving us feeling relaxed and content. When we laugh heartily at life’s ridiculousness instead of responding irritably, our focus shifts. Anger, stress, guilt, and sadness no longer have any influence over us, and we are empowered to make light of what we originally feared. Laughter also opens our hearts, letting love and light in, changing our perspective, and enabling us to fix our attention on what is positive in our lives.

It is easy to laugh when we feel good, but it is when the world appears dim that we most need laughter in our lives. Our laughter then resonates through our hearts, filling the empty spaces with pure, unadulterated joy. We regain our footing in the moment and remember that no sorrow is powerful enough to rob us of our inborn happiness. When we understand that uninhibited laughter is the food of the soul, nourishing us from within, we know instinctively that life is worthwhile.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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Making conscious decisions

The fact that an idea or particular way of doing things is popular doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone. However, sometimes something becomes popular because many of us don’t take the time to determine what’s right for us; we simply do what most of the people we know are doing. In this way, our decisions about life are made by default, which means they aren’t what we call conscious decisions. There may be many other options available to us, but we don’t always take the time to explore them. This may be because we feel pressured by family or peer  to do things their way, or the way things have always been done. It is important that, as often as we can, we decide for ourselves what to do with our lives rather than just drift along on the current of popular opinion.


It is not always easy to make decisions that go against the grain. Many people feel threatened when those close to them make choices divergent from the ones they are making. Parents and grandparents may be confused and defensive when we choose to raise our children differently from the way they raised us. Friends may feel abandoned if we decide to change our habits or behaviour. From our point of view it’s easy to feel frustrated and defensive when we feel unsupported and misunderstood simply because we are thinking for ourselves. It can be exhausting to have to explain and re-explain our points of view and our reasons.

This is where gentleness, openness, and tolerance come into play. It helps if we are calmly persistent, consistent, and clear as we communicate to those around us why we are making the choices we are making. At the same time, we have the right to say that we need our choices to be respected. Our lives belong to us and so do our decisions. Those who truly love us will stand by us and support our choices, never mind what’s popular.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk

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When Doors Open

When you see  a door open, walk through it. Trust that the door has opened for a reason and you have been guided to it. Sometimes we have a tendency to overanalyse our decision, but it is quicker to simply go through the door and discover what’s there, as that’s the only way to find out. Even if it doesn’t seem right at first, opening this door may lead to another door that will take us where we need to go.

A door opens when the time is right for us to enter a new space, metaphorically speaking, and we can have faith that walking through is the right thing to do. Sometimes we linger in the threshold because we are afraid of leaving our old life or stepping out of our comfort zone for a life we know nothing about. We may have voices inside of our heads that try to hold us back or people in our lives saying discouraging things. These internal voices, express all the fears and doubts that arise at the beginning of a new life. The external voices come from people who don’t want us to move forward. Nevertheless, none of these voices can hold us back, and they will fall silent as soon as we cross the threshold.

There are a myriad of doors that open in the course of our lives, leading us into new relationships, jobs, friendships, and creative inspirations. Our lives up to this point are the result of all the doors we have walked through, and our continued growth depends on our willingness to keep moving into new spaces. Every time we walk through an open door, we create a sense memory that encourages us to move into the new fearlessly. When we enter the new space, we almost always feel a thrill and a new feeling of confidence, in ourselves and in the universe. We have stepped across the threshold into a new life.

If this has resonated with you in any way, please get in touch.

I offer coaching and mentoring to you – for you to make the changes you want to in your life. Build your confidence in your abilities.  Read my clients’ testimonials here. To help you to have more fun, more freedom and less stress. That is it. There is no catch. I believe in you.

Maggie Currie

Professional Transformational Coach, Consultant
Founder of MAGGIE CURRIE COACHING

Website:       http://www.maggiecurrie.co.uk

Facebook:    https://www.facebook.com/maggielifecoach/

Email:          hello@maggiecurrie.co.uk