Author: Maggie Currie

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Looking beyond appearances

It is natural to judge people, and yourself, since it just happens without us even thinking about it.  We take one look and in 2 seconds summarise our opinion of a whole person – overweight, pretty, stylish, sloppy. This habit comes from the brain’s need to categorise the world in order to be able to function without becoming overwhelmed.  

 Judging is your way of identifying relevant information, you are trying to decide if the person approaching is a threat, a friend or someone you don’t need to worry about.  This way of looking at people makes sense in a dangerous context, but in your daily life it can lead to an overly simplistic reading of the people you meet.

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If you have ever judged someone dismissively, only to have them become a good friend once you really got to know them, then you will understand the hazards of the judgement cycle. An experience like that may lead you to question your natural tendency to believe your first impressions.  

 You will always notice things about the different people you meet, but as you become more conscious of the idiosyncrasies of judgement, you won’t be satisfied with your surface observations.  You  may notice that someone is driving an expensive car, but you will decide whether to befriend them based on getting to know them over time. You will not rule out a friendship with someone with unruly hair, especially if they turn out to have a great sense of humour and a kind heart.  Liking or disliking a person is a choice you will naturally make, but it will be after you have got to know them. 

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Next time you notice yourself judging somebody, stop.  Try to radiate love to that person. Then listen to them openly or look them in the eye and learn more about them. If this is not easy for you, remember not to judge yourself either. Trust that, with practice, you will change your habitual judgemental patterns.  And as you do, you will find a whole new dimension of perception opening up to you, allowing you to see beyond the surface and into the essence of people you meet.

If you need help with any of the above, please contact me.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.

I have some availability for new coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates for when you want to get started.  Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Conquering the fear of failure

Fear of failure is probably the single greatest obstacle to success in our adult lives. We often become totally preoccupied with not making a mistake and with seeking approval. The fear of failure is expressed in the words  “I can’t”.

We feel it in a physical way by the fast beating of the heart, rapid breathing, sweaty palms and a tight throat. We also experience this in the irresistible need to run to the loo.

Our second major fear that creates an obstacle in our performance is the fear of rejection.  We learn this at a very early age when our parents or guardians make their love conditional upon our behaviour.  If we do something to please them, they give us love and approval. If we do something to displease them, they withdraw their love and approval – which we often interpret as rejection.

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Going through divorce can trigger these feelings of failure.  But a very important thing to remember is: the marriage failed, not you.

As adults, we become preoccupied with the opinions of others because of this perceived rejection.  Many people develop hostility, suspicion and an obsession with performance to some imagined high standard.  It is virtually impossible to achieve this as it really doesn’t exist.

There is a belief that we have to work harder and accomplish more in order to please the boss.  The boss has replaced the parent and is  therefore perceived as the approval giver.

Research has shown that more than 99 percent of adults experience these fears of failure and rejection.  They are caught in the vicious circle of feeling, “I can’t, but I have to,” and “I have to, but I can’t.”

We can beat  these fears by developing our self-esteem, courage and character.  We can increase our self-love and self-respect.  Acting with courage in a fearful situation is one technique that boosts our love for ourselves to such a degree that our fears subside and they lose their ability to affect our behaviour and our decisions.

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Firstly, we need to realise and accept that we can do anything we put your minds to. Repeat the words, “I can do it! I can do it!” whenever we feel afraid. Write ina journal all your successes so you can remind yourself how good you actually are.

Secondly, we need to continually remind ourselves of just how wonderful we are, think of ourselves as valuable and important people and remember that temporary failure is one way we learn how to succeed.

If you need help with any of the above, please contact me.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.

I have some availability for new coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates for when you want to get started.  Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Who were and are your teachers?

We learn all the time through various means, at school, college, university, from neighbours, friends, relatives etc. Who have been your teachers over the years?
My teachers have been my parents, my primary school teachers, my senior school teachers, college tutors, my cousins, my children, my grandchildren, colleagues, my friends, my mother-in-law, my husband, myself and friends-in-deed.

I was taught by my parents and my teachers that I was average. This is not a lesson I want to keep because I am not, never have been and never will be average. I am unique, and I may not know the same things that so called clever people know, but what I do know is just as valuable. 

graduated

I was taught by my college tutors that I should follow the rules. This is not a lesson I want to keep because not all rules should be followed. There are some that must be followed, and there are some that should be bent a little, and some that should be ignored completely. It is all dependent upon the situation and the rule.

I was taught by my husband and three children that love is unconditional for them. That is a lesson I am keeping because no matter what I love them all unconditionally.

I have been taught by my grandchildren that they are more intelligent than their previous generations and that they will be going places when they are old enough. This is a lesson I want to keep, and I want to watch them do just that.

I was taught by my mother-in-law that we are on this earth to help people. This is a lesson definitely to keep because that is what I want to do above all else. Help people, everywhere.

I was taught by myself that I can do more than I originally thought was possible to do. This is definitely another lesson I want to keep and expand upon.

I have learned and am still learning that there is so much more to learn and that life is a school. This lesson will be staying for the rest of my life.

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7 steppingstones book
I have learned that I am not average, I am capable. I have written and had published two books which are selling well all around the world and helping people too. I am a successful Life Coach who is changing the lives of people for the better and loving my work.
Think about who has taught you over the years, what you have learned and how valuable it is.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

Helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Your assertive rights

In the continuing journey of building confidence it is essential that you implement your assertive rights so that your life is as happy as it can be.

I have included your assertive rights below, and I would like you to read them and be aware that you do have the right to implement them, no matter what other people think.

 

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ASSERTIVE RIGHTS

  1. I have the right to judge my own behaviour, thoughts and emotions and to take the responsibility for their initiation and consequences upon myself.
  2. I have the right to offer no reasons or excuses to justify my behaviour.
  3. I have the right to judge whether I am responsible for finding solutions to other people’s problems.
  4. I have the right to change my mind.
  5. I have the right to make mistakes and be responsible for them.
  6. I have the right to say “I don’t know”.
  7. I have the right to be independent of the goodwill of others before coping with them.
  8. I have the right to be illogical in making decisions.
  9. I have the right to say “I don’t understand”.
  10. I have the right to say “I don’t care”.
  11. I have the right to say “No”.

When you read and absorb these assertive rights and then begin to implement them in your daily life you will notice the difference.  Don’t think that other people won’t notice, they will, and they will probably be surprised.  So what?

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Let them get over it and continue to assert your rights on a daily basis.  It will increase your confidence and reduce the risk of you being treated as a doormat who always says yes or agrees with everything everybody else says or does.

Your life will improve, and you will boost your confidence by implementing your assertive rights on a regular basis.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

Helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Trusting your gut feeling

Gut feelings get their name from the place in the body where they make themselves known.  A pang in your gut when you may be doing the wrong thing, or a vibrant zing when your body approves of what you are doing, can guide you reliably at times when logic fails. Sometimes, when logic takes over, we ignore our gut and probably live to regret it.  We discover later that a rational approach is only one way of determining what is going on in a situation and how we should react. 

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Our gut resides in the solar plexus just above your belly button. When it is functioning well, we can trust its guidance and adjust our actions accordingly. So many of us have a tendency to hold in this area of our bodies.  We take shallow breaths that never reach this part.  But it is in this place that we find the courage to act, to reach out into the world and create change.  When our gut is out of balance, we are timid and out of sync, wishing we had been able to say something although we were only able to say it later when we were alone; wishing we had acted on the opportunity we hadn’t seen until it was past. 
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In order to get the most out of your gut feelings, you may want to focus your attention on it more regularly and make the time to care for it. You can begin right now by taking a deep breath into your belly.  When you exhale, pull your navel in toward your spine so as to empty out completely before taking another deep breath into your belly.  When you empty completely, you release any stagnant energy and create more space to be filled with the fresh, nourishing breath.  

The more you practice this simple, cleansing exercise, the clearer and more communicative your gut feelings will be and the more comfortable you will feel acting on them. 

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

Helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Whatever we believe becomes our reality

We tend to ignore information that we think is inconsistent with our reality. Successful people absolutely believe that they have the ability to succeed. They do not think or talk about the possibilities of failing. They do not even consider the possibility of failure.

We usually act in a manner consistent with our beliefs. The most important belief system we can build is one where we absolutely believe that we are going succeed. This is called positive thinking, confirming our reality that we absolutely know that no matter what, we will be successful.

Often positive thinking is difficult because our parents or guardians only gave love and approval to their children when they did something that they wanted them to do.  If we grew up with this kind of conditional love we will inevitably tend to seek unconditional approval from others.  When we become adults, this need for approval from the parent is transferred to the workplace and to our boss or workmates. We can become preoccupied with the opinion of the boss and some totally imagined high standard.

 

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If we can change the way we think about ourselves and our potential, we can open new doors to unlimited possibilities and point ourselves in the right direction to a better, more fulfilling professional and personal life.  We should not think about what other people think of us, but we should concentrate on what we want and adjust our thinking so that we will achieve it. 

To begin to change the way we think about ourselves, we need to stimulate our imaginations.  This can be done by writing down a clear and detailed description of our ideal outcome.  We must be absolutely clear about the outcome, but we must also be flexible about the process of achieving it. 

There is a method you can use to see yourself having achieved your outcome.  It is called the ‘Hindsight Tool’.  It works like this:  

  • Think about the outcome you want, visualise yourself as having achieved it.

  • Then use the ‘hindsight tool’  – In your mind imagine yourself in, say, five years’ time, picture yourself being the successful person you want to be. How would you look? What would you be wearing? What would you be saying or doing?  Who would be around you, who wouldn’t be around you? Where would you be?

  • Then, turn round and look back to the present and see what course and actions you took, what mistakes you may have made and how you corrected them.

Your life does not resemble anybody else's

It may be that the outcome you imagined is not exactly what you hoped for.  That is fine and very normal.  Re-think your outcome and do the process over again.  You can do this many times until you get the outcome you want.  Then put it all into practice.

If you need help with any of the above, contact me.  

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.

I have some availability for new coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates for when you want to get started.  Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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How you can get the most out of your coaching sessions

Coaching is the key to transforming your life.It begins with helping you to understand where you are now and to obtain clarity about what you would like to achieve and how you will achieve it.  I then work with you to create and execute a plan of action to move you forward and transform your life.  You’ll be educated, entertained and inspired to take action immediately, and I promise you’ll find clear, logical, easy-to-implement ideas – most of which will make a difference to your life straight away. Remember, You can’t go back and make a new beginning, but you can start today to make a new ending.

Do you have a dream? I am sure you do. Become really passionate about it, enthuse to others about it, create a picture in your mind of what your dream will look like when you make it happen.  Make the picture as bright and colourful as you can.  Add sounds, smells – whatever you feel makes the picture complete.

Begin to do as many things as you can to bring that picture you have in your mind into form. You don’t need to change everything in your life to achieve it – just take baby steps towards it…gently…slowly.

 

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In the words of  Robert Heinlein “In the absence of clearly defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia and ultimately become enslaved by it.”

You have a dream; have you set your goals to make that dream come true?  Don’t let it sit in your imagination or your heart forever …trust in you… let it out…..let it come to life.

Take the opportunity to invest in yourself. This investment won’t let you down. The more things change, the more YOU can’t afford not to.

Coaching sessions are focused and forward thinking, allowing you to get the results you need quickly and enjoyably and ensuring you get great value for money. 

If you are stuck at any point by fear of the unknown, I can help with various techniques, such as NLP and TFT, to rid you of the anxiety associated with fears, life traumas etc., and thus help you to move forward with your life.

 

Why do women stay in abusive relationships?

 

I have worked with a vast range of clients, male and female, young and old, each with their own unique lifestyles and challenges.  I am proud to be able to say that every one of them has benefited from my coaching.  Many of them have made massive changes to their lives, such as changing careers, moving to another part of the country and starting a new life, ending a relationship that wasn’t working, improving their home/work balance.

Don’t be one of the 90% of people who will look back with regret, knowing their lives could have been different. Take this golden opportunity to be fulfilled and live the dream. Have what you want, do what you want and be the person you have always wanted to be.  

Every single one of us is capable of achieving truly amazing things, but you have to choose. Are you going to be one of the 10% or one of the 90%?

It is time now for you to take action and to really begin to change your life.  I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.

I have some availability for new coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates for when you want to get started.  Get in touch today.

 

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Maintaining energy and confidence levels

The people with whom we have the most contact and hang around with will have either a positive or negative effect on our levels of self-esteem and confidence.  We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around.

How do they make you feel?

Yes, they make me feel the same!  The positive thinking people can put zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with ‘can do’ vibes that have a knock on effect onto everyone else. They are a joy to be around and bring our energy levels up and increase our self confidence.

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We also know of those people who drain the energy from a room!

It is their perception that they never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – need I go on?

These people have the power to drain our energy and bring us down to their level, a million miles away from the level that WE want to be operating on. But they only have that power if we allow them to.

Some family members can be a lot like this as well,  we can always choose our friends, we can never choose your relatives! We can choose what are prepared to listen to though.

tiredwoman

So what can we do to make sure that the people who we hang around with empower and support what we stand for, rather than bring us down all of the time?

  1. We have the power to choose who we hang around with. Ideally we want happy, vibrant and positive people. If we hang around with those types of people, the negative ones will disappear as they won’t be able to cope.

  2.  If we have good friends who are negative and yet we still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how it feels  – if they are a true friend they will respect this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.

  3. The same can be said with family. Our more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years and years and from different eras. They have learned their behaviours from their parents and grandparents. Appreciate where they have come from and, as in number 2 above, acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.

  4. Remember, that nothing has meaning in our lives except the meaning that we give it.

We are in control of our positivity and negativity, and nobody can take that away from us. 

It is time now for you to take action and to really begin to change your life.  I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.  

I have some availability for new coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates for when you want to get started.  Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Forgiveness – Releasing the past

Forgiveness is such an important subject that I feel compelled to spend some time explaining its significance. When we hold something unforgiven inside, we are nurturing anger, hatred and resentment or maybe even guilt. These emotions lock us into the moment, continually reliving events.  Over time all this emotion can become suppressed into the subconscious, but they are still there, consuming our mental and life energy.

Until we release ourselves from this cycle, it may prove impossible to move forward. It really does not matter what the issue was, whether slight or life-shatteringly traumatic. If you want to move on you must let it go. To do this you must forgive. To forgive someone does not mean that that you condone their behaviour simply that you forgive them, and release them. By releasing and forgiving them, you release yourself.

Some people hold onto their anger, refusing to forgive or let go.  They will never move on until they do. In fact, quite the reverse, by allowing such emotions to ferment inside, they grow and can become all consuming, their whole life becoming defined by whatever the event was. They are no longer in control of their life or living the life they want. They are living a life that is directed by their anger and hurt.

A grateful attitude helps in times of extreme stress

 

How our lives are, is often a reflection of our reactions to the ups and downs of life.  If we choose to accept the good and release the bad, we are able to maintain control over our lives and keep our sense of direction.  If however we  focus on the bad things that have happened to us, then these will simply grow, continually manifesting our own dark thoughts and divert us from seeking what we really want.

If you or your life is “stuck”, then it is well worth looking back to see if there is anything unforgiven in your past.  Remember to forgive everyone, especially yourself.  So many people trudge through their lives burdened with guilt for this or that, forgive yourself  and let it go.

Remember, life is in the now, the past is already finished and dead and cannot be changed. Nothing you can do now, can ever change the past, yet it is amazing how many people squander their emotional and life energy, consumed with anger or guilt about the past.

In this moment now, you have your power – the power to make your choices, take your action, to make a difference.  You have no power in the past and you have no assurance of power in the future. If you want to feel free, released from the past  then you must forgive.  Forgive everyone, especially yourself. I know how difficult it is to overcome our natural and very human feelings of anger, guilt, resentment and fear. The basis of them can seem, and may well be, completely justified, you may be completely right to have these emotions, and it is OK to experience them.  However, these emotions damage your ability to move on, you must accept your emotions, but then be prepared to let them go. To release yourself, you must forgive. Until you do you will remain the victim with your life locked into all those negative emotions.

 

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Look around you, do you know anyone like that?  Some tragedy or injustice has been suffered and now the entire life of that person is defined by their anger and resentment. Every positive thought, every inspired moment, all of life’s little pleasures are subsumed with their overwhelming feelings of anger, resentment, even desire for revenge. No matter how justified their emotions are, what good is it doing them? The past can never be changed. Life is full of tragedy and joy, it is not the events of life so much as how we respond to them that defines how joyous and successful our lives are.

It is time now for you to take action and to really begin to change your life.  Or you could do nothing.  It is your choice. I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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5 ½ Ways To Stand Out From The Crowd When Applying For A Job – Guest Blog by Sean McPheat

Someone once said “It’s a jungle out there!” and never a truer word has been spoken when it comes to today’s job market.

With a failing economy, the national debt, wide spread redundancies of quality people and a shrinking job market there are more and more applicants for every job than at any time in history.

Even to get some eyeballs to look at your CV is proving difficult. So what can you do differently to stand out and market your personal skills to the best of your ability?

Here are 5 ½ ways to stand out:

  1. 1.    Video CV

 

Ever thought of recording yourself? It will certainly separate you from the other 99% of applicants who will not do this. All you need is a decent webcam and some free autocue software to load up which runs underneath your webcam so you don’t mess up and you’re away!

  1. 2.    Website

 

Going one step further than creating a video is to create your very own personal website CV. On this it can have a video, photos, information and can give you that professional edge.

 

  1. 3.    Coloured Paper

 

Imagine a manager or HR person who has the job of going through a pile of CV’s. They all look the same! Even if only one page of your CV is different colour it will stand out and draw the attention of the person who is reviewing it. You need an audience and this will certainly draw attention to it.

  1. 4.    Be Radical

 

Did you hear of the guy who spent his last £500 on a billboard to advertise that he is wants a job? Sometimes you need to be innovative and different to stand out. What can you do?

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  1. 5.    Advertise On Social Media

 

You can use Facebook to target would be employers. Be creative in your ad and include your skills and qualifications and the type of job you are looking for. You can really target in to the people who you want to market yourself to due to the tools that Facebook has to offer in its advertising interface.

5 ½. It’s A Mindset Thing

The other point I wanted to make didn’t warrant a complete point! So I’ve given it a half! And that’s that what you have done to date has not worked so you need to be different, you need to try different things and don’t be afraid of failure. Stick your neck out and remember if you do what you’ve always done you’ll get what you’ve always go.

 

Author Bio: Founder and MD of international management development firm MTD Management Training, Sean McPheat is widely regarded as a leading authority on modern day management and leadership. Sean is a bestselling author, and has been recognised for his own business building skills throughout his impressive entrepreneurial career, which has included founding and managing successful sales training company MTD Sales Training and HR outsourcing company MTD HR Consulting.