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Taking time for YOU!

My clients often tell me that one of the added benefits of having coaching with me, that they hadn’t considered before they started, is that their coaching sessions can often be the only time in their busy week that they feel able to step back and truly focus 100% on themselves.  Be honest, how often could you say that you allow yourself to do just that?

A lot of the time we get so busy ‘doing’ that we forget about ‘being’.

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This was a revelation of sorts for me some years back.  I had something fantastically inspiring to aim for.  I had the focus, I had the drive to work really hard, and I was making good progress.  And yet, I ended up feeling ill, stressed and fairly disillusioned.  I began to think that if this was what having stretching goals was about, I wasn’t sure I wanted them after all!

Talking through how I felt with a good friend one day, I was brought up short when she said “oh yes, you’ve become a ‘human doing’ instead of a ‘human being'”.  I thought about that all the way home.

As I reflected on the previous few months, I could think of very few times when I wasn’t ‘doing’ and even fewer times when I’d consciously decided to take time out and ‘just be’.

How much of your time do you spend ‘doing’ and how much do you spend ‘being’?  If you had to divide a circle up with how much time you give over to each, what would it look like?  How big would your ‘being’ slice be? Be absolutely honest with yourself.

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With our busy lives and time-poor society it can seem nearly impossible to take more time for ourselves, but at what cost do we choose not to?  My decision those few years back was to invest more time in myself, and I’m certain that I’m more productive as a result.  I get more done in my ‘doing’ time now than I ever did when I was ‘doing’ every waking second of the day.  Plus, my ultimate decision was that it couldn’t all be about the doing and the destination or I’d miss the journey altogether.

So as we roll into the next season, what time can you make for yourself to just ‘be’?  When can you next set aside an hour or two, a whole day or even more than that, to relax and recharge?  Imagine how much better you will feel when you do?

Could you do with some regular time set aside to focus 100% on you and on making your life how you want it?

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Underneath the noise – Hearing the whisper

You may have noticed that when you want to speak to someone in a noisy, crowded room, the best thing to do is lean close and whisper. Yelling in an attempt to be heard over the noise of the room generally hurts your throat and adds to the chaos.

Have you noticed that you inner voice whispers to you all the time? If we want to hear it, no matter what is going on around us, or even inside us, we can always tune in to that soft voice underneath the surrounding noise.

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It is generally true that voices in our heads that make us feel panicky or afraid are of questionable authority. They may be voices we associate with our childhood or from our culture, and they only speak half-truths.

The other voice that whispers reassurances that everything is fundamentally okay simply delivers its message with quiet confidence. Once we hear it, we know it speaks the truth.

We will find that our own communications in the world begin to be influenced by the quiet certainty of this voice.  As we align ourselves more with this quiet confidence, we become an extension of the whisper, penetrating the noise of the world and creating more peace, trust and confidence.

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I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Your confidence diary.

A great way to boost your confidence is to keep a confidence diary.  It is a smart tool to remind yourself just how good you really are and what you have to be thankful for and pleased about in your life right now.

It is something I used to rebuild my confidence after going through a toxic relationship, divorce and learning to be me again.

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Either buy yourself a notebook or a day to view diary and once a week for a month jot down your answers to the following confidence questions.

Don’t give me any excuses about you haven’t got the time to do it! Take just 10 minutes per week, sit down and jot down your thoughts to:

  • What have I got to be grateful for in my life right now?

  • What am I happy about in my life right now?

  • Why am I happy about these things?

  • What did I accomplish last week?

  • What am I excited about in my life right now?

  • Who do I love and appreciate in my life? Who do I like hanging around? Why?

  • Who loves and appreciates me for what I am? Warts ‘n all!

Answer these questions honestly at the start of each week and it will set you up for success.

Getting our lives back after divorce

If you need a booster midweek, then by all means answer them again whenever you want to feel centred and remind yourself of what you have got going for yourself in your life right now. You can do this whilst enjoying a nice cup of tea or coffee.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Travelling alone and enjoying it ! – Guest Blog by Gwen Perret

Maggie wrote me a guest blog a month ago titled « After Divorce, Travel ! », and that got me thinking. Of course, I am convinced of all the good things that comes out of traveling, especially in times when we need to reconstruct ourselves. But as a female travel lover and travel PA, I am concerned about the issues of women traveling alone : safety, boredom, social acceptance…

 Yes, I believe that traveling is essential on a self-reconstruction journey, but only if all conditions are put together to make the traveller feels safe. Feeling safe as a woman solo traveller, or as women traveling together in a group, means feeling free and safe wherever you go, whether it is physical integrity or not feeling judged or looked at, totally out of place.

 Of course, you always have the travel with singles option, which can be fun of you are ready to meet someone new in your life, outgoing… But what if you are just not in the dating mood, or just not that kind of person ? What if you just want to enjoy a place you have never been too and want to enjoy your new “you” just being by yourself ?

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 Well, that is possible. Good news, huh ? All you have to do is make sure, before you go, to pay attention to the following details.

 1)     Choose your destination carefully. Go somewhere you have always wanted to go but never could. This needs to be YOUR choice. It might not be everyone’s choice, but who cares ? When I was younger I spent a year abroad in Alaska, I was not 18 yet, and most people thought I had lost my mind. Who, on earth, would leave a great school, successful studies, a family and everything to go abroad for a year ? And moreover to Alaska ? Well I did. I have always loved far away, unknown places. And I am so glad I made it, no matter how discouraging people were before I left. So open Google Maps and choose.

2)     Choose your place of stay carefully. Now of course I would not recommend that you go spend a week in Gao, Mali right now. That might have to wait. But there are lots of places you can go safely. And then you can choose a nice district or town. You should know that some networks are specializing for solo travellers. Whether you prefer a hotel or a B and B, spend time in getting to know the area and the owners. Most of the B and B owners are passionate people and will help you with everything you need to know. Some of them even have special weeks for solo travellers, everything being planned to them to feel very comfortable.

3)     Choose your activities and options. Make sure you do not end up in a crowded restaurant for Valentine’s Day, or in the middle of young couples diving during their honeymoon. You know what I mean. Being the only single one, moreover the only recently divorced one can be a devastating experience. Here again, some networks will organize activities for solo travellers that have nothing to do with dating activities.

4)     Do not be shy. The earth is full of people who want to share experiences, even if it is just a few words on the weather, the landscape, the wine… Enjoy those moments sharing time with locals or other tourists. And if you are afraid of being alone, bring company ! Why not organize an all solo tour ? Whether it is an all divorced women, or mixing men and women… As long as you base it on a shared passion, for an activity, a product or a region, you will enjoy the company, be in the same state of mind…

5)     Make sure you give a full detailed planning to someone you trust at home : a family member, a good friend… Someone who will be to check on you on a settled basis, one a day, once every other day… You decide. A daily text or email is always a good solution to make people feel safe.

6)     Let it go and HAVE FUN !

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 Yes, let it go and have fun, because at the end that is all it is about. When you will be planning your trip carefully, at some point you will have to just trust yourself and enjoy. Open your eyes, your ears, talk to people, discover, get out of your comfort zone. The world is yours, take advantage of it.

 I know that planning a whole trip can be quite something for people while they also have to deal with their daily life. If you need help planning a bespoke trip, whether it is just for you or for a group, if you need someone to make sure you will be safe and who can check on you everyday, if you need someone to rely on in case of emergency while you travel, if you want a private woman travel guide with great ideas… I am here, that is my job, and I will be delighted to help with planning your vacation.

Gwendolin Perrett

Personal travel and event advisor at SensationElle

Our guest blogger, Gwen, taught for 4 years after graduating from anthropology. Then decided it was time to do what she really loved; travel. She recently became a Personal Travel Agent, mostly selling France and Europe to foreigners, but she also works on other destinations. She specializes in bespoke travel and events, making sure that her clients get the best experiences with no worries. This new job allows her to travel as much as she wants with her hubby and doggy and still be available for her privileged clients. Her office fits in a hand luggage : a Mac book, an iPhone, her notebook and a pen, and a few SensationnElle gift cards ready to be sent! Get in touch if you would like to know more information!

If you would like to contact Gwen her contact details are below:

www.sensationnelle.net

www.facebook.com/agence.sensationnelle
www.facebook.com/sensationnelle.wine
www.twitter.com/asensationnelle
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Can Divorcees and Singles Survive Valentine’s Day?

Going through divorce often leaves you feeling that you have nobody to rely on, other than yourself. So take advantage of you and really look after yourself on this day. Turn the focus of your attention to you. Buy yourself something special, something you will really love and appreciate. It maybe something that you wouldn’t usually think of buying for yourself, but on this occasion it feels right to do it. Here are some more suggestions for you to feel special on this loving day:

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  • treat yourself to a day being pampered at the spa.

  • treat yourself to a special meal and enjoy it in the comfort of your own home. You don’t have to cook it yourself, unless you really want to, you can order it by phone and have it delivered to your door.  Use your favourite crockery, buy a bottle of wine and enjoy your chosen feast.

  • watch your favourite film or read a good book.

  • How about you and some of your best friends getting together to watch a few of the worst romantic comedy films you can find.  Have a fun evening with people you love to be with and who love to be with you.

  • Make some new resolutions, as most New Year resolutions are fading now.  Make a Valentine’s Day resolution to love yourself.  Resolve to take some evening classes or to go on that trip you have been promising yourself.  Resolve to try new restaurants or to try new recipes.  Make a resolution that you will make a start towards the dreams you know you want to achieve.

  • If you have children why not make the day special for them as well as you.  Buy some little gifts – chocolates, stuffed toys, model cars etc. – and make a present hunt game with clues, and they can fun trying to find the gifts and you will have fun watching them.

  • Organise a trip to the zoo or cinema with the children

Whatever it is you choose to do, whether it is on your own, with friends or with your children, make sure it is fun for you.

Do not:

  • Find a stranger to spend the evening with.  You will regret it in the morning and make it worse for yourself when the next Valentine’s Day comes around.
  • Watch tv programmes filled with loves stories.

  • Get all dressed up at work as your colleagues will jump to conclusions and make your life a misery all day.

  • Sit at home being miserable and feeling sorry for yourself because you don’t have someone to share this sill day with.

  • Beat yourself up for feeling miserable and lonely. Anyone who has been through, or is going through, divorce has been there and had times like these.  It is never easy. Take the time to grieve and heal.  Nobody understands divorce better than those who have been through it.

A great thing to do would be to wait until February 15th and then treat yourself to a heart-shaped box of chocolates at half price, or buy some flowers for you for half price.

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Remember, it is just one day, you have been through worse in your divorce.  It will all be over in the morning.

Plan your life around yourself and learn to really love yourself again.  This will not only be fun and interesting, but loving yourself is the basis of beginning your new life as the new, confident you.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

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My birthday

Yesterday was my birthday and I was surprised by my hubby who sent me flowers and they were delivered in the morning.  They are beautiful and of course much appreciated.


I had another surprise from my mum who is currently in hospital recuperating after falling and hurting her knee.  She is 89 years old and called me on her mobile phone to wish me a happy birthday.

I received loads of birthday wishes on Facebook and via email too.  I certainly felt very special.

Yet another surprise from my hubby was a half bottle of champagne to celebrate.  That went down very well!

I spent the day doing very little and just enjoying being.  I cooked a roast dinner and we had that in the evening with some more wine and liqueurs.

An evening watching a few episodes of The Good Wife on dvd finished off a lovely day.

Listening to my own advice and liking being me and enjoying being made for a great day.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Living in the moment

I went on a road trip from the Isle of Wight to Perth in Scotland.  I left on a Monday with my husband and we drove 200 miles towing our caravan to stay overnight in a camp site in Nottingham.  The lady there was lovely and had her own little bar with real ales.  We slept there and then set off again on Tuesday for County Durham.

We drove another 200 miles and stayed for two nights in a camp site near Beamish.  The caravan site was impersonal and quite frankly money grabbing, asking for £20 deposit for the keys to the toilet block and the gate to get in and out.  We visited Beamish, the museum, on Wednesday and rode on the old trams and buses, went into the department store that sold everything you could think of, the sweet shop and the old tea rooms. It as a wonderful day out and we thoroughly enjoyed it.

caravan

On Thursday we travelled another 200 miles to Scone Palace in Perth in Scotland and spent 4 nights there at the Rewind Scotland Festival. Loads of 80s bands were playing and we were doing Indian Head Massage for the punters.  It was fun, we met some lovely people on the other trade stands and the punters of course.

On Monday we set off for home, travelled 280 miles to stay in a camp site in Lancaster.  The lady there was lovely and friendly and we slept well.

On Tuesday we had another 280 mile drive to Southampton to catch the ferry back to the Isle of Wight.

How is this all connected to living in the moment you may ask?  Well, I have deliberately enjoyed the whole trip by staying in the moment and not thinking about what is going to happen when we get back.  After all, the more we stay in the moment, the more fun we have and the less worry we have. If only I had known how to do this when I going through divorce.  My life would have been so much easier.

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Interestingly, last night I began to think about what was going to happen tomorrow with my work and instantly felt a tightening in my chest.  So I deliberately stopped thinking about it and the tightness faded.  I listened to my body and to my own advice.

It has worked for me and I am feeling relaxed and energised, enjoyed the journey home.  Tomorrow is another day and I will live in the moment again, and again.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Where would I rather be?

I would rather be sitting in a deck chair with a good book, ‘Living Your Design: A Manual for Cellular Transformation (Student Manual)’ by Lynda Stone comes to mind. I don’t mind where I place the deck chair, it could be in the middle of a field, on a beach, in a clearing in a forest, in a park – but it has to be in nature. I love watching the animals and birds going about their daily business. Watching children playing happily, laughing and having fun.

deckchair

So where am I now? In my office finishing off the final bits of work that I had on my to do list, doing the last bits of washing and packing clothes and things for my road trip to Scotland that starts tomorrow.

Leaving home at around 8am to get my caravan that is stored on a farm about 10 miles away. Hitch it up to our van and then off to East Cowes to get the ferry to Southampton. Then off to Perth via County Durham and the Beamish museum and aiming to arrive in Perth on Thursday.

I have planned to meet up with an old friend just outside Leeds on Tuesday, someone I haven’t seen for 5 years, and I am really looking forward to having a cuppa and a chat with her.

The camp sites are booked for our overnight stays on the way up to Perth and then we will be at Scone Palace at the Rewind Festival from Thursday to Monday. I love the change of scenery, the change of work (we will be offering Indian Head massage to the festival goers and traders) and scenery.

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Heading back home on Monday, staying overnight in Lancashire and then home on Tuesday evening.

So back to where I would rather be. Reading a book in nature. I am going to achieve this over the next few days.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Friends come and go for a reason

I was considering why it is that friends come into our lives and some of them go out of our lives again.

There are many reasons but for me I think that some people fall away because of the changes I have made to myself.   I have learned so much about myself that I was unaware of. For instance I have stuffed emotions and feelings down because I was conditioned not to show emotion or share feelings.

Four Women Friends at the Beach

When I was in a toxic relationship I had very few friends, and those I did have were not that close.  I wasn’t allowed to get close to anybody.  Getting divorced and learning to live my life as me has been a steep learning curve.

I have learned how to express my feelings, get close to people and keep others at arm’s length.  Now that I am able to express emotions and share my feelings other people may find this unacceptable to them. And that is okay. What I am comfortable with is not always comfortable for everyone else. And that may be why some friends have moved away.

The friends I have currently are wonderful. Some live nearby, some live on different continents, but I am grateful to them all for their friendship and support. I do my best to support all my friends, it may be in a big way or in a small way.

Dealing with emotional abuse

I am grateful for all the friends I have had, still have and those I have yet to meet for their contributions to my life.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Who do I love?

There was a time when I didn’t love myself because I didn’t feel worthy. I was in a toxic relationship that drained all emotion from me and left me a shell of the person I really was.

A grateful attitude helps in times of extreme stress

Today that is so very different. I have rejected that relationship, divorced, moved on and remarried. The situation now is so very different.

There are many people who I love, and in many different ways too.

I love my husband of 28 years, Kelvin, he is my rock, lover, friend, confidante and most of all my support through life’s ups and downs.

I love my mother for being who she is, for bringing me up to the best of her ability and for being there when I needed her.

I love my children, all 3 of them equally even though I have very little contact with my sons – their choice.

I love my 5 granddaughters and 1 grandson, all of them equally. I have met 5 of them, have never met one and, have no contact with 3 of them. The choice of their parents.

I love my friends in deed  who are always there for me to encourage, compliment, advise and listen.

New for 2013. From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again

I love my friends who are there for me always. I don’t have to ask, they are just there. Even if I don’t see them for months at a time.

I love me for being the rock and support for my husband, for being there for my mum when she needs me, for being there for my children whether they need me or not, for being there for my grandchildren whether they need me or not and for being there for my friends in deed and my friends.

I love me for being me and for being prepared to develop even more into me, to take care of me and to continue to move forward in my life.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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