feelings

I have some feelings of inadequacy and of not being good enough. I am not sure where they are coming from but I woke up feeling that way. I do remember feeling this way when I was going through divorce and in the aftermath of that process. I didn’t like it then, and I don’t like it now.

Today I went to a breakfast business networking meeting, one I go to every Thursday morning at 7am, which means getting up at 5am to be showered and dressed for business by 6.15am at the latest. Then a 10 mile drive.

Usually these meetings are full of energy and fun and are a pleasure to be at, but today was a little different. One of our members has split with her significant other and moved off the Island and is living with her parents on the mainland. This person will be sadly missed as she is vibrant, honest, straight talking and fun. So there was an air of sadness that she has suddenly gone.

There were also some people there who were revelling in this news and making stupid comments, which I tried to ignore, but they were so unnecessary and I thought it was shameful. I said nothing as I didn’t want to get into a stupid argument.

When the meeting finished I had a couple of tasks to complete. They should have taken about twenty minutes but ended up taking nearly an hour due to ‘technical problems’. The lady who served me is also one of those people I try to avoid as she drains all the energy from me and is very critical of every one and every thing.

So instead of getting back to the office by 9am to get stuck into my work, I didn’t get back until nearly 10.30 and then I was all behind and annoyed that things didn’t work out.

I sat and thought about what it was that was making me feel inadequate. Not the fact that I was late getting back to the office. Not the fact that we had lost a great member of our networking group. So what was it? And then it came to me.

Last night I was on a fabulous phone call with three of my coach colleagues. The creativity and ideas were flowing from two of them, and what brilliant ideas they were. I am in awe of their power to think these things through so easily and clearly. I know that marketing has to be done, and I know I have to do it, but that is not my expertise.

So, I believe that I am feeling inadequate because I had absolutely nothing to add to these two brilliant coaches’ thoughts and ideas. They had done their homework fantastically and presented their ideas and innovations in clear and concise ways, and they were great ideas and I know they will work.

I feel that my strengths lie elsewhere, but at this particular moment I am not sure where.

I hate feeling this way and it makes me really upset to think this way. I know that I am a brilliant coach and that I do make a huge difference to people’s lives and that I will continue to do so.

Having written all this I am now feeling much better and know that I have a lot to offer but not necessarily in the same way as other people. I also know that I should not compare myself to other people, that is definitely a confidence killer.

So, to re-boot my confidence I have written a list of my creativity and innovativity (is that a word?) and here is the list I have come up with:
My creativity

Brilliant cook
Expert typist
Can set out a document by eye, and it will look great on the page.
Brilliant writer
Fabulously intuitive
Do my accounts satisfactorily
Create a good workspace
Create opportunities for clients
Great supporter
Impactful
Great teacher
Create goals for my clients and for myself

My Innovativity

Build relationships online and in person
Think up new ways for my clients to succeed
Find new ways for me to succeed
Lead by example
Positive and encouraging to all
Hear beyond the words

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Intense emotions demand intense methods of expression. There are many outlets for positive feelings – being creative, enjoying the fresh air, talking with friends, having fun – there are however far fewer methods for coping constructively with negative feelings of anger, frustration, fear, sadness, or stress. Consequently, such feelings can lead us to believe that we are not in control of our emotional state.

When we are backed into a mental corner, we may well lash out at the very first person we encounter. Most of us will discover very quickly that our misdirected outpouring of fury has done nothing to relieve the pressure of our pain, in fact it has probably exacerbated it.

Powerful emotions can be likened to the lava in a volcano, just waiting to erupt, temporarily held in check by an ever eroding layer of calm. Within us lies the power to direct that flood of feeling that surges forth by channelling it into productive, artistic or physically tiring activities.

Retaking control of our emotions at their height can often be very difficult. This is because our already negative feelings can convince us, however wrongly, that others are deserving of our wrath. But, when we consciously look for alternative ways of expressing what we feel, we will relieve our pain and use the energy of that pain to add even more value to our lives.

Anger or sadness is the inspiration that inspires us to dedicate ourselves to bringing about a change we wish to see in the world. If we act rather than react, we will become very effective agents of positive transformation. When we channel our frustration or feelings of stress into “outside-the-box thinking” and various proactive exploits, we will discover solutions to the issues that initially left us stuck in this negative state.

And when we view fear as a sign that we need to re-examine our circumstances rather than a sign to flee, we will gain new, and possibly unexpected, insight into our lives.

Channelling your emotions into constructive action will also prevent you from reliving situations, events or even expectations that sparked your feelings in your mind’s eye. Since you are now focusing on a goal, your pain is no longer being fed by your emotional energy and will ebb away rapidly. You will not only avoid lashing out at others, but you will also take an active part in your own healing process while still honestly acknowledging and honouring your feelings.

Journalling helps with getting your emotions under control and will help you get your thoughts in order. Just the act of writing down your thoughts will help you to realise where your thoughts are directed and where you may need to change some of the thoughts that are no longer serving you.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.