Your confidence diary.

A great way to boost your confidence is to keep a confidence diary.  It is a smart tool to remind yourself just how good you really are and what you have to be thankful for and pleased about in your life right now.

It is something I used to rebuild my confidence after going through a toxic relationship, divorce and learning to be me again.

diary

Either buy yourself a notebook or a day to view diary and once a week for a month jot down your answers to the following confidence questions.

Don’t give me any excuses about you haven’t got the time to do it! Take just 10 minutes per week, sit down and jot down your thoughts to:

  • What have I got to be grateful for in my life right now?

  • What am I happy about in my life right now?

  • Why am I happy about these things?

  • What did I accomplish last week?

  • What am I excited about in my life right now?

  • Who do I love and appreciate in my life? Who do I like hanging around? Why?

  • Who loves and appreciates me for what I am? Warts ‘n all!

Answer these questions honestly at the start of each week and it will set you up for success.

Getting our lives back after divorce

If you need a booster midweek, then by all means answer them again whenever you want to feel centred and remind yourself of what you have got going for yourself in your life right now. You can do this whilst enjoying a nice cup of tea or coffee.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Self Awareness

When I was in my teens and even up to my early 40s I had very little self-awareness.  I plodded along doing what I was told to do, manipulated by so many people.  I was so totally not self-aware I didn’t even notice that I was living my life on other people’s terms.

It is only since I have trained to be a life coach that I have really discovered myself and discovered my own self awareness.  I have found that to be able to grow into my own self-awareness I have to understand my feelings and emotions.  This was quite a difficult journey for me, as I have suppressed feelings and emotions for many years.  The reason – I was told by my parents when I was a child that I should be seen and not heard.  I was told that I should not express anger or display any emotion.  And so I learned to repress them.

Having this understanding now after learning so much about my feelings and emotions and rediscovering who I am really am, I know that I can express my feelings and emotions. And this is a huge step for me towards self-awareness.  But what does self-awareness do for me? What are the benefits to me?  Being self-aware has given me the opportunity and freedom to change those things I want to change about myself and create the life that I want.  I now don’t allow others to manipulate me.  I live my life on my terms.  I am seen and heard and I do express my feelings and emotions.

 New for 2013. From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again

The more clarity I get about who I am and what I want, and of course why I want it, the more I empower myself to consciously make those wants a reality. But, how do I get this clarity? I turn to the expert – ME.  I know more about myself than anyone else, I know I have been manipulated and by whom.  I know I have suppressed my feelings and emotions,  and I know why.  And I have got to know myself even better over the past few years by becoming so much more self-aware.  I am, of course, still learning.

To get the clarity I want I have learned to ask myself questions and expect specific answers. The more specific my answers, the more impact they have on my life and then I have a much clearer picture of  me.  Of course, there are times when my answer is ‘I don’t know’ and I know that is okay too.  I give myself the freedom to take a wild guess and this allows me to carry on.  What I have discovered is that I really do know more than I ever thought I did.

Honesty is vital in my answers to myself.  It will lead to my true self-awareness, but it does take a lot of courage.  It is the courage to face my fears or to face something I find difficult to accept about myself.  For instance, I know that I am impatient and want things to happen now.  I also know that when people are speaking to me I get impatient to hear the end of what they are saying, and I tend to try to finish their sentences for them.  I know this about myself and do my best to bite my tongue and not jump in with the answers.  By being totally honest with myself I take ownership of my actions, thoughts and feelings and find those beliefs that are no longer serving me. Those beliefs can then be discarded, altered or whatever feels right for me.

I find that sometimes I do slip up and give an answer that perhaps I think I should give, rather than what I really know is right.  That means I am giving answers from my head rather than getting in touch with my feelings and getting the answer there. To get out of my head again, I take several deep breaths and start to listen to my body, to notice where it is hurting and breathe into that place.  This helps me to balance myself and to find the answers I need, and they come from inside me rather than from my head.

How do I know I am in a relationship that is bad for me?

I know that whatever I discover about myself I can handle with ease and acceptance.  I trust that whatever I discover about myself will in some way lead to a greater sense of me and increased self-awareness.

I have found that practising listening to my body has enabled me to get to grips with my emotions and feelings in a way that I have never been able to do before.  And of course I am learning every day more and more about myself too.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Unqualified vs Qualified Coaches

There are thousands of ‘coaches’ out there who have never been trained to coach, have never been coached themselves and have absolutely no idea where to begin or indeed where to end.

Equally, there are a similar number of ‘coaches’ out there who are qualified and have never been coached themselves and also have absolutely no idea what they are doing.

I can only speak from my own experience, and I have found that learning how to be a coach is very much different from being a coach. And being a coach means drawing on all learnings and experiences accumulated throughout my life.

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How so you may well ask.  Well I have trained with five different coach training providers since 2004 and all have their own ways of interpreting coaching.

For instance, one said that once I had passed their diploma course I was a trained life coach.  That may well have been true, but the course itself gave very little insight into the myriad of different strategies that can, and are, used in coaching.  On passing the course I was now a qualified life coach.

Another taught me all I needed to know to become corporate coach, but again left me short of knowledge and experience when it came to working with organisations that varied in the ways they operated. On passing their course I was now a qualified corporate coach.

I have learned over the years that my life experiences count just as much as all the coach training.  Listening to my clients and knowing when to ask the right question came from practise.  It is nothing that can be learned from a course or a book, it comes with experience of working with so many different people.

I love being a coach, it doesn’t feel like a job to me.  I find it so rewarding when I see the ‘penny drop’ and my clients get it, take action and change their lives for the better. It is something that I just love getting out of bed for every morning.

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All the training I have undertaken has had its uses, and I always learned something new and worthwhile, and I can honestly say that I am highly qualified and experienced as a coach. 

I enjoy being coached, and in fact work with several coaches where we all coach each other, supervise, teach and learn.  It works very well as each has something different to bring to the table.  The fact that we are spread out over the world in the UK, USA and Australia causes a few time zone headaches, but we usually work it all out between us, and Skype is a fabulous tool.

So who wins in the Unqualified Coach vs Qualified Coach competition? I don’t think there is a definitive answer.  It all depends on the coach and the outcome you want.  If the outcome you get is satisfactory to you, then I am not sure it really matters.  I know there will be lots of you who will disagree, and I would love to hear from you.

My speciality is coaching professional business women who are going through, or have been through, divorce, life trauma, redundancy etc.  The type of woman who has to look perfect on the outside to give her presentation to the board, but who is falling to bits on the inside, and the cracks are beginning to show.  The fantastically successful outcomes my clients have had are just wonderful.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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My radio interview with Susan Rich on W4WN Radio

Yesterday I had the privilege of being interviewed by Susan Rich on her radio programme.  She and Annemarie Scheutz chatted with me for half an hour or so about my work and wanted to learn more about how divorce coaching works.

It's December!

Click here to listen to the programme.

I had such a good time and was made to feel so welcome.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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My birthday

Yesterday was my birthday and I was surprised by my hubby who sent me flowers and they were delivered in the morning.  They are beautiful and of course much appreciated.


I had another surprise from my mum who is currently in hospital recuperating after falling and hurting her knee.  She is 89 years old and called me on her mobile phone to wish me a happy birthday.

I received loads of birthday wishes on Facebook and via email too.  I certainly felt very special.

Yet another surprise from my hubby was a half bottle of champagne to celebrate.  That went down very well!

I spent the day doing very little and just enjoying being.  I cooked a roast dinner and we had that in the evening with some more wine and liqueurs.

An evening watching a few episodes of The Good Wife on dvd finished off a lovely day.

Listening to my own advice and liking being me and enjoying being made for a great day.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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A grateful attitude helps in times of extreme stress

I have found that being grateful for what I do have far outweighs worrying about what I don’t have.  This philosophy works on so many levels for me and it can work for you too.

When I decided to leave my marriage of 12 years (30 years ago), I was full of worry about what I didn’t have at that time, how I would manage, how I would survive etc.  I spent so long worrying about what I didn’t have and desiring all the things that I thought I did want, that I forgot to live as me.  I forgot all about me.  And because of that I had to hit rock bottom before I realised that I could do something about my life.

At that time I didn’t know anything different.  I had never heard of self-development, nor had I heard of life coaches who could have helped me.


Now, of course, I know differently and I always put into practice my own teachings.  I am grateful every day for all that I have, the abundance in my life.  Abundance in life, such as the wonderful area I live in, the friends I have, the trust and love of my husband, the work that I do and the lovely clients who I help daily.

Had I known about how to be grateful for what I had way back then I would probably have coped a whole lot better.  I may not have hit rock bottom, I may have lived my life differently.  I shall never know now, but it doesn’t matter.  I am living the life that I love, working with people every day who benefit from my learning and teaching. I am determined that nobody should have to reach the depths that I did before they change their lives for the better.

Today I am grateful for the smallest things as well as the huge things.  I am grateful for the sunshine today, for the little flowers popping their heads over the window box, the little birds singing, the sea, the green fields and so much more.



If you are going through a life trauma, it may help you to think about all the things you can be grateful for.  The little tiny things that come in large numbers.  They may just bring a smile on a dismal day and help you get through.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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An incredible year

This year has been interesting to say the least.  It began in January with my birthday ‘tour’.  I decided that instead of having a fixed birthday party I would take my celebrations on tour.  I started here on the Island and then went to the mainland, to Portsmouth and then to Essex.  I met up with friends and relatives who maybe I wouldn’t have seen if I had kept the party here on the Island.

I had a great time and really loved seeing all those people and enjoying celebrating with them.

February brought the birth of my newest granddaughter, Tabitha.  She, of course, decided to arrive on 29th – so only one birthday every four years for her.  I went to visit her of course when she was only a few days old, and she is beautiful. She is now 10 months old, crawling and ‘chatting’.  Below is Tabitha at about 6 months.

 
March was uneventful, except for helping out a friend who is a florist delivering flowers for Mothers’ Day. The car was full of bouquets, arrangements and choccies.  Lovely gifts.
 
In April I helped out at a charity fashion show.  I helped to dress the models and ensure their quick changes were just that, quick.  I thoroughly enjoyed it. I was also invited to attend the Isle of Wight WI Annual Conference as a guest of their speaker Lucy, who I had helped with her relationship.  She thanked me publicly and it felt so good to be appreciated.
 
May brought a visit to the theatre in London to see a play called ‘Noises Off’, starring Celia Imrie. A very funny play, brilliantly done.  Loved it.
 
In June I was given tickets to the Electric Woods at Robin Hill Country Park, an evening of music and illuminations.  Brilliant.  Two more trips to London to see Blood Brothers, a stunning musical play, and War Horse – just fabulous.  The horse was a puppet, but you didn’t notice and got emotionally involved with him all the way through. I was also invited to display and sell my books at Newport Minster by a local writing group.  This was really good.
 
July was the beginning of the festival and event season.  I spent a wet weekend at Smallbrook Stadium in a caravan providing head massage for a wonderful group of bikers.  I also started an open coaching group at a healing studio in Newport and this was quite successful, although I don’t think I will repeat it.  A trip to Scotland followed to work at Rewind Festival Scotland, providing head massage to the masses.  Again it rained, but we had a good time and met some lovely people.  I was interviewed on WC4S Radio via Skype and had a great time. I also helped out at the local talent show for under 18s.  A great day too.
 
August brought a wedding in Essex, we took the caravan and stayed nearby.  Then we went to see Grease the musical at the Mayflower Theatre in Southampton. Excellent. A day spent in Cowes for Cowes Week and then off to Henley for Rewind Festival Henley.  That weekend was so hot, 93 degrees, we nearly melted.  Then it was Faux Fest at the Donkey Sanctuary.  A festival of tribute bands. It rained, and rained.  I sold raffle tickets and met some of the ‘stars’. Below is ‘Michael Jackson’.
 
 
September was very busy with coaching and mentoring, getting my car fixed after someone kindly donated a dent whilst I was parked in a supermarket car park.  
 
In October I won some tickets to see Level 42 at Portsmouth Guildhall. Great concert.  Two more trips to London to see the play Jumpy starring Tamsin Greig.  Excellent.  And then to see A chorus of Disapproval with Rob Brydon, Ashley Jensen and Nigel Harman.  Very good and very funny.  Then off to Mayflower Theatre Southampton to see Sarah Millican. I also began being the resident life coach on a radio programme called “Calder’s Confessions”, this is all about real people’s life problems and hopefully I am bringing some much needed help. October also brought the birth of my very first great-granddaughter.  
 
November brought another trip to the Mayflower Southampton to see The Mousetrap.  A very interesting play.  Typical Agatha Christie.  Then a trip to the Nuffield Theatre Southampton to see Francesca Martinez, and lovely young comedienne.  Very funny. 
 
In December I was interviewed on Power Women Radio by Deb Jones via Skype.  I had a ball. I also spent two days at a local high school conducting mock interviews for the year 11s.  Great fun drawing out their good points and giving them tips on interview techniques.
 
All through the year I have also been coaching lots of women, creating a new online course to help professional women going through divorce or getting over the aftermath.  I have undertaken a marketing course which has turned out to be fabulous and I would recommend it to anyone.  Take a look here if you would like to find out more about this amazing course.
 
 
What will 2013 bring? I know it is going to be a year of creativity, coaching, teaching, mentoring and helping lots of people to change their lives so they can live authentically and on their own terms. That is my intention for 2013.
 
I know I am really looking forward to the coming year and building on the foundations started this year.  I think it is going to be fabulous.
 

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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It’s December!

Where has this year gone? It only seems a few days ago that it was the beginning of January.

There have been so many changes during the last year, some good, some not so good, but all leading me to where I am now.

I was working very closely with a small coaching company based in the USA until a few months ago, and then, quite suddenly, I wasn’t.  They had decided to change the way they worked and so we parted company.  I have to say, this has been one the best things that has happened to me this year!

I have started working as a resident life coach on a radio programme networked in the UK and in various countries around the world.  This is Calder’s Confessions and you can listen to one of the programmes here. It is so much fun and also very interesting to hear how many problems people have.

More recently I was interviewed by Deb Bailey on Power Women Radio and you can listen to that recording here. I really enjoyed that programme, and the time just flew by.  I was talking about my books “What you believe creates your reality” and “7 Stepping stones to rebuilding confidence in yourself”.

I have commissioned a new website to be created and that is coming along nicely and will be ready by the end of December.

I am writing a 6 month online coaching programme entitled “From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again
The successful woman’s guide to surviving divorce and beyond”.  This will be launched in early 2013 and I am really looking forward to working with people who I know I can help to get out of the feelings of despair and worthlessness.  I have written it specifically with professional women going through divorce, or who have been through divorce, in mind.

On the outside you are looking great, but inside you are falling to pieces. The cracks are really beginning to show. There is no need to suffer in silence, you are not alone. I understand what you are going through. Reach out your hand, grab hold – I’ve got you. I will help you to transition the bold front you are putting on – the perfect appearance on the outside – and the inner turmoil where you are tearing yourself apart.

I will give you the tools and techniques to heal the inner you and get you back to the real you. Rebuild you confidence in yourself and end that constant ringing in your ears that you are not good enough. You most definitely are good enough.

I have today been featured in the Lionesses Daily Roar and you can take a look at that here. They picked up on my radio interview with Deb Bailey.

There has been so much good stuff this year, like the marketing coaching course I am undertaking with Claire Mitchell.  She is just great and you can find out more about her here.

Things are really coming together now and for the first time in a long time I am feeling that I am on the right path for me and that there is so much out there for me to learn and so many people who want to work with me.

I am so looking forward to the coming months and enjoying my life and enjoying changing the lives of others.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Getting our lives back after divorce

Do you remember how you felt when you were happy? Is that feeling so far away in the past that you really can’t remember it? 

I can totally relate to that.  I struggled to remember a time when I was truly happy when I was going through divorce and in the couple of years afterwards.
But I was happy at one time, and I am sure you were too.
Now it is time to get your life back and be the you that you know you are and want to be again. So let’s get back to the magical you.
How do you want to look? What would you be wearing?  How would you stand? What’s your facial expression like?
Picture yourself in your mind standing in front of a long mirror so you can see the whole length of you.  What do you want to look like, wear, stand? Are you smiling? Create the you that you want to be. 

 

What do you need to let go of?  How do you need to move on?  What is holding you back?
What stuff do you need to let go of now that is of no use to you.  What do you need to do now for you to move on with your life. What is it that is holding you back from what you want to do and how you want to be? 
If you had all the money and time in the world, describe your ideal relationship, your ideal career, your ideal house.  
Let your imagination run wild. What is it that you are aiming for now that you are free?
What behaviours do you need to change in order to live for today?  Slow down, stop worrying and build time into your day to enjoy your life.
There are certain to be some behaviours that need to be changed in order for you to move on with your life that you are totally responsible for yourself.  Really be honest with yourself here. Then changes those behaviours that you have identified.
Slow down not just by stopping rushing around, but slow your mind down too. Stop worrying about things that might happen, you are just attracting problems to you.  Take the time each day to just sit with yourself, have a cup of coffee and enjoy your own company.  Build this time into your day, block it out in your diary. Make time for you.
When you do all these things for yourself, you will get your life back and you will enjoy it more and because you are enjoying it more, you will attract happy people to you, because they will see how happy and content you are.
Do you want to remain stuck and miserable? 
I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Living in the moment

I went on a road trip from the Isle of Wight to Perth in Scotland.  I left on a Monday with my husband and we drove 200 miles towing our caravan to stay overnight in a camp site in Nottingham.  The lady there was lovely and had her own little bar with real ales.  We slept there and then set off again on Tuesday for County Durham.

We drove another 200 miles and stayed for two nights in a camp site near Beamish.  The caravan site was impersonal and quite frankly money grabbing, asking for £20 deposit for the keys to the toilet block and the gate to get in and out.  We visited Beamish, the museum, on Wednesday and rode on the old trams and buses, went into the department store that sold everything you could think of, the sweet shop and the old tea rooms. It as a wonderful day out and we thoroughly enjoyed it.

caravan

On Thursday we travelled another 200 miles to Scone Palace in Perth in Scotland and spent 4 nights there at the Rewind Scotland Festival. Loads of 80s bands were playing and we were doing Indian Head Massage for the punters.  It was fun, we met some lovely people on the other trade stands and the punters of course.

On Monday we set off for home, travelled 280 miles to stay in a camp site in Lancaster.  The lady there was lovely and friendly and we slept well.

On Tuesday we had another 280 mile drive to Southampton to catch the ferry back to the Isle of Wight.

How is this all connected to living in the moment you may ask?  Well, I have deliberately enjoyed the whole trip by staying in the moment and not thinking about what is going to happen when we get back.  After all, the more we stay in the moment, the more fun we have and the less worry we have. If only I had known how to do this when I going through divorce.  My life would have been so much easier.

Happy young woman with a white background

Interestingly, last night I began to think about what was going to happen tomorrow with my work and instantly felt a tightening in my chest.  So I deliberately stopped thinking about it and the tightness faded.  I listened to my body and to my own advice.

It has worked for me and I am feeling relaxed and energised, enjoyed the journey home.  Tomorrow is another day and I will live in the moment again, and again.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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