action

by

My seminar – what a blast!

On Monday of this week I held a free seminar all about how to have a stress free Christmas.  The people who attended enjoyed it, found it interesting and gave me some wonderful feedback.

I was quite nervous, as I so wanted to get across my main message about having ‘the conversation’ with people to let them know what you are planning for you Christmas, whether that is being at home with your partner, going away to an hotel, inviting people to come to you for Christmas Day but to bring a plate of delicious food with them to add to the plates being brought by others to make a wonderful buffet for everyone.

There were, of course, some people who said they were going to attend who then couldn’t.  So the audience was quite small.  I started on time and made a mistake straight away.  I had been chewing some gum to keep my mouth moist and completely forgot to take it out before beginning my talk.  So there I was, trying not to chew away, but of course not succeeding.

christmasstress

I went through how people can cook whatever they would like for Christmas dinner.  That could be roast turkey with all the trimmings or shepherds pie or sausage and mash.  Whatever it is that makes you happy.

I mentioned how we learn much our behaviour at Christmas from our parents.  How conditioning may not be intentional but how it works very well.  How your extended family may not want to be dragged away from their newly opened presents to come to you for Christmas, but don’t know how to tell you for fear of offending you.

I told the audience how the subconscious mind stores all your habits and all the stuff we use every day without even thinking.  How we drive our cars without giving a second conscious thought to the process.

The fact that the fear of doing something is often so much worse than actually doing it.  And how to combat those fears.  How our ‘chatterbox’ runs our lives by constantly telling us how we can’t do this, or that.

Festive Woman in Red Santa Hat

I gave examples of my own fears and how I overcame them.

To do lists can be very, very long, and I gave some ideas of how to delegate, dump or simplify the to do list to reduce stress. How my friend had decided a couple of years ago to spend her Christmas day on her own, reading and watching television.  How she didn’t want the traditional Christmas dinner and cooked herself poached eggs on toast and loved it.

I gave suggestions of how to spread the cost of present buying over the year, or getting good deals online.  How people could volunteer to help out the Salvation Army on Christmas Day if they found themselves to be alone but really didn’t want to be.

There was of course lots more, and it all went down very well indeed I thought.  Below is some of the feedback I received:

“Helpful. Made a list as went along. Has made me determined to face some tough decisions.”

“Very helpful. Thank you.”

“I really enjoyed this. I had a stressful day at work today, and a lot of what you said made me think about this situation and I can use a lot of it.”

“Useful advice re ‘The Conversation’. Topic that everyone can relate to and has experienced.”

“Some useful tips on how to prepare for Christmas. Thank you.”

‘I really enjoyed last night, it all made sense, I plan to have the conversation at the weekend.’

I am planning to record the seminar as an audio file with the slides for those people who couldn’t make it and who would still like to listen. Let me know if you would like to download it for yourself.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

creedence.jpg

Website

Facebook

Twitter

LinkedIn

by

Rationalising my time spent volunteering and looking after myself first

I took a long look at the time I was spending volunteering in various roles, and it was adding up to many hours each month.  I volunteer as resident Life Coach on Calder’s Confessions radio programme, read the news at the weekends for Vectis Radio, currently Chair of the Isle of Wight Independent Advisory Group for the Hampshire & Isle of Wight Constabulary.  All these roles take up my time and making a decision on which one, if any, to let go was very hard.

I weighed up how much time was spent each month on these activities, what I achieved in each role and whether I felt it advantageous for me to carry on with it.

For instance, to make a single recording of the weekly radio programme with Calder Jon, Calder’s Confessions, involves a two hour round trip in my car, reading and understanding the various problems people have written in and, of course, recording our responses.  All in all, it takes up half of my working day each week, which amounts to two whole days in a month.

I made the decision, after a lot of thought and consideration, to resign as the resident Life Coach, and reluctantly let Calder know.  He was absolutely understanding about it, and we parted on very good terms.  I am sure he will carry on as usual, and I wish him every success for the future.

iStock_000008873201Large

So having made this decision, what will I do with this reclaimed time of mine? I am going to work harder on my business and even harder with my clients to ensure they become the very best versions of themselves.

I am having a new leaflet designed by a professional graphic designer.  Finding the text and sorting out pictures will be fun, even if it is time consuming.  I am also having a new photo done with a professional photographer.  All this is so exciting, and I am curious to see the end results and to hand out my new leaflet to people.

Having the time to devote to this project is invaluable to me, and will, I hope, be a good aid when I am talking to new and prospective clients.

Why do women stay in abusive relationships?

I have created the opportunity for myself to improve my service to my clients, to improve my learning and coaching skills, to manage my time, to work more closely with my own coach and to make the balance between work and recreation more even and reduce stress and of course costs in travelling. The future is looking really good for me.

I made the decision for me, about me and without guilt.  I am practising what I advise my own clients: Look after yourself first, it is not selfish it is essential.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you. Contact me today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

creedence.jpg

Website

Facebook

Twitter

LinkedIn

by

Are you holding on to things you ‘should’ do?

A lot of people carry around with them a huge amount of “baggage” or “clutter” in their minds. When I say this I mean that they are still holding onto things that they say they ‘should’ do, but  they really don’t need to.

There are many ‘coulds’ and ‘shoulds’ in your life that hold you back – you want to let go, but for some reason you don’t.

This is very common in several areas of life, in particular going through or after divorce.  You are not alone, I am guilty of doing it myself.

Are you carrying around with you a lot of emotional attention that you could be doing without rather than focusing on something more productive instead?

If you are, I bet it is having a negative influence on your confidence and self esteem.

Stressed Businesswoman

Take a look at your life, be honest with yourself and begin to get rid of this baggage, bit by bit, by asking yourself some questions and by completing the following exercise.  In effect, what you are doing is making certain tasks “complete”, drawing a line under them and moving on.

Answer the following questions honestly.  You can do it all in one go or do it over a period of days.  By writing your answers down they become more real and the changes more attainable.

Get to it and over a short space of time you will notice your confidence soar!

  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with at home
  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with at work
  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with in any other areas of your life

iStock_000004706304XSmall (2)

 Make an action plan to make changes in your behaviour or communicate to the person involved in these things that you have been putting up with how you would like them to change their behaviour. Take action!

  • Make a list of things that are unresolved/unfinished in your life.

Make an action plan of how you are going to make some changes to reduce this number! Take action!

  • Do you need to clear the air with anyone? If so, just do it! Life is too short!
  • Did you ever say that you were going to call someone or keep in touch with someone yet have done nothing about it? If yes, call them or send an email to them today

Let go of as many coulds, woulds, shoulds, maybes, oughts as you can. Take action!

By completing these exercises you will be able to focus more on the here, the now and the future. You will now be able to let go of some of the things that have been taking up your valuable attention – those things that knock your self esteem. And you will definitely notice the results in the way you are more confident and more aware of what you will tolerate in your life.

Many of my clients find simple strategies to recognise their daily achievements and spur themselves on to greater success! What are yours going to be?

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you. Contact me today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

creedence.jpg

Website

Facebook

Twitter

LinkedIn

by

Celebrating success

Have you ever noticed  how terrible we can be at acknowledging what we have achieved?  When congratulated on a success, we might hear ourselves say “oh it was nothing”.  On reaching a goal, we might skip the celebration because there is something else to strive for now.  When reviewing a half completed ‘to do’ list, we’ll bemoan what we didn’t do, rather than focus on what we did achieve.

Is this because we’re modest to the extreme, or do we simply not recognise just how much we do day to day, month to month, year to year?

to do list

I think it’s the latter.  We either don’t recognise just how much we have achieved, or we don’t see how important every step we’ve taken is.  We don’t see our progress as an achievement.

As the frequently quoted saying goes “a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step”.  So if every step is progress, then in my book every step is an achievement.  What if we were to give ourselves more credit for everything we achieve?

Ticking things off a ‘to do’ list might not seem as celebration-worthy as representing your country in your favourite sport, but if it takes you closer to your own personal success then it’s a point scored in your own game!  So take that moment to acknowledge your progress.  When you reach a milestone, give yourself a reward.  And when you achieve what you were aiming for, seriously celebrate your success!

The energy gain from this change in perspective can be massive! I’m certainly more productive when operating from a mindset of ‘look how much closer I am to my goal and how much I’ve achieved!’ than if I were beating myself up about what I had left to do.  I’m sure you will be too.

Try this … Celebrate YOUR Success!

Cork Shot Out From a Bottle of Champagne

What could you do to pat yourself on the back more often?  Here are a few ideas that many of my clients use:

  • Keep a Success Journal – try it for a week and see how good you feel!  Each time you do something well, write it down.  Each time you complete a task you’ve been putting off, write it down.  Each time you feel even one small step closer to your big goal, write it down! I met a well known motivational speaker who does this every single day and having kept his success journals over the years, he now has a bookshelf full.  Imagine what he does on a bad day – cheers himself up pretty quickly I’d think!
  • Indulge in a delicious cream tea.
  • Enjoy a rejuvenating massage.
  • Meet your friends for a meal and a chat.

Reward Yourself – what better pat on the back than giving yourself something you enjoy as a reward!

When something goes well, when you achieve what you wanted to, when you reach a milestone on your way to something bigger… celebrate your success with a treat.  It could be a nice meal, a night out, a small gift to yourself or the bliss of a day / half a day doing something you absolutely love.  What will it be?

Tell somebody – let them share it with you!  When something goes well, don’t keep quiet, shout it from the rooftops and enjoy the recognition.

Many of my clients find simple strategies to recognise their daily achievements and spur themselves on to greater success! What are yours going to be?

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you. Contact me today.

Maggie Currie

Follow me on:

Website

Facebook

Twitter

LinkedIn

Huffington Post

by

Relationship anxiety

Relationship anxiety is very destructive, as you know. If you don’t learn how to get rid of anxiety in your relationship, it leads into a very devastating downward spiral:
  • Suspiciousness
  • Worrying about your partner not loving you, or not caring as much as you do
  • Thoughts of them being unfaithful.
  • Many more self-destructive thoughts and emotions.
And of course, all of these will fuel your relationship anxiety. 
In order to learn how to get rid of anxiety in your relationship, take the following steps:
Ask your partner for reassurance. When you find yourself becoming suspicious in your relationship, try to remember that it is probably being fueled by your anxiety. You may be able to get some relief from your relationship anxiety by asking your partner for occasional reassurance. They will be happy to give this if they are patient and understanding of your anxiety. 
iStock_000004418879XSmall (2)
 
This kind of support may well be very helpful to you. Ask a trusted friend who is prepared to give you an honest answer if there might be some real reason for you to feel this way. But even when you get that real information, it may not help alleviate your relationship anxiety. You will have to work on that yourself. Perhaps your worry is that you feel that you are too “needy” in your relationship.
For instance, do you need constant reassurance and want your partner to regularly prove that things are really okay? This will inevitably put pressure on you and your partner and will add to the relationship anxiety.
I got married when I was 19 years old and discovered after about six months that I had made a terrible mistake. I was under a lot of pressure from my parents to stay in the marriage as it was not ‘the done thing’ to separate or divorce. In their opinion, I was far too young to know what I was doing. I believed them as I knew nothing different and so tried to make the marriage work.
 
Inevitably the pressure of trying to make it work instead of figuring out how to get rid of anxiety in my relationship made me very unhappy and anxious indeed. I stuck at it for twelve years until I couldn’t take it any longer and I made the decision to leave, take the children, and strike out on my own. I realised eventually that it wasn’t normal to be unhappy and anxious in a relationship.  A hard lesson to learn. That was the right decision for me, and the anxiety was lifted almost as if a huge weight had been taken off my shoulders.
 
If any of this is resonating with you, then you will need to find ways to cope with your anxiety and learn to rely more on yourself for feeling better – taking the pressure off your partner. This will allow you to become more self-sufficient, even in your anxiety. Give yourself permission to reassure yourself instead of turning to your partner for comfort each time you are anxious. Find ways to learn to think more positively. Try being grateful for what you have.
teenage depression - teen woman sitting thinking
 
When you are anxious you can create all kinds of ideas in your imagination that appear so intolerable that you feel compelled to take impulsive and totally misguided actions. You will find yourself:
 
  • Jumping to conclusions
  • Making decisions that are destined to fail
  • Behaving in a totally childish manner, sulking and demanding attention.
  • Look for solutions that will relieve your relationship anxiety and won’t result in increasing your problems further.
  • When you are anxious your partner will be anxious too. It becomes a vicious circle and the anxiety is fed constantly.
 
Learning to trust your intuition is an important part of reducing your anxiety. So, slow down, think through anything you are considering doing and follow your intuition. Make the effort to stop listening to that nagging voice that is telling you something is wrong. It is very likely when you slow down and think rationally that you will find a much better solution for you and your relationship. In this way, you can successfully get rid of anxiety in your relationship.

 If you need help with any of the above, contact me.

 

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.

 

Maggie Currie 

 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

creedence.jpg

Website

Facebook

Twitter

LinkedIn

 

by

Confidence sapping friends and colleagues

The people with whom you have the most contact and hang around will have either a positive or negative effect on your levels of self-esteem and confidence.  We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around.

How do they make you feel?

Yes, they make you feel the same!  They put zest into a boring atmosphere and fill the room with positive, can do vibes that has a knock on effect onto everyone else.

Four Women Friends at the Beach

We also know of those people who could moan for England!

According to them, they never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – need I go on?

These people drain your energy and bring you down to their level, a million miles away from the level that YOU want to be operating on.

Family members can be a lot like this as well, but you can always choose your friends, you can never choose your relatives!

tiredwoman

So what can you do to make sure that the people who you hang around with empower and support what you stand for, rather than bring you down all of the time?

You have the power to choose who you hang around with. Ideally you want happy, vibrant and positive people.

If you have good friends who are negative and yet you still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how you feel – if they are a true friend they will respect you for this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.

The same can be said with family. Your more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years and years and from different eras. Appreciate where they have come from and as in number 2 above, elicit and select the information that filters through to your brain.

Remember,  that nothing has meaning in life except the meaning that you give it.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.

I have some availability for new coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates for when you want to get started.  Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

creedence.jpg

Website

Facebook

Twitter

LinkedIn

by

Looking beyond appearances

It is natural to judge people, and yourself, since it just happens without us even thinking about it.  We take one look and in 2 seconds summarise our opinion of a whole person – overweight, pretty, stylish, sloppy. This habit comes from the brain’s need to categorise the world in order to be able to function without becoming overwhelmed.  

 Judging is your way of identifying relevant information, you are trying to decide if the person approaching is a threat, a friend or someone you don’t need to worry about.  This way of looking at people makes sense in a dangerous context, but in your daily life it can lead to an overly simplistic reading of the people you meet.

judges


If you have ever judged someone dismissively, only to have them become a good friend once you really got to know them, then you will understand the hazards of the judgement cycle. An experience like that may lead you to question your natural tendency to believe your first impressions.  

 You will always notice things about the different people you meet, but as you become more conscious of the idiosyncrasies of judgement, you won’t be satisfied with your surface observations.  You  may notice that someone is driving an expensive car, but you will decide whether to befriend them based on getting to know them over time. You will not rule out a friendship with someone with unruly hair, especially if they turn out to have a great sense of humour and a kind heart.  Liking or disliking a person is a choice you will naturally make, but it will be after you have got to know them. 

happy woman

Next time you notice yourself judging somebody, stop.  Try to radiate love to that person. Then listen to them openly or look them in the eye and learn more about them. If this is not easy for you, remember not to judge yourself either. Trust that, with practice, you will change your habitual judgemental patterns.  And as you do, you will find a whole new dimension of perception opening up to you, allowing you to see beyond the surface and into the essence of people you meet.

If you need help with any of the above, please contact me.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.

I have some availability for new coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates for when you want to get started.  Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

creedence.jpg

Website

Facebook

Twitter

LinkedIn

 
by

Who were and are your teachers?

We learn all the time through various means, at school, college, university, from neighbours, friends, relatives etc. Who have been your teachers over the years?
My teachers have been my parents, my primary school teachers, my senior school teachers, college tutors, my cousins, my children, my grandchildren, colleagues, my friends, my mother-in-law, my husband, myself and friends-in-deed.

I was taught by my parents and my teachers that I was average. This is not a lesson I want to keep because I am not, never have been and never will be average. I am unique, and I may not know the same things that so called clever people know, but what I do know is just as valuable. 

graduated

I was taught by my college tutors that I should follow the rules. This is not a lesson I want to keep because not all rules should be followed. There are some that must be followed, and there are some that should be bent a little, and some that should be ignored completely. It is all dependent upon the situation and the rule.

I was taught by my husband and three children that love is unconditional for them. That is a lesson I am keeping because no matter what I love them all unconditionally.

I have been taught by my grandchildren that they are more intelligent than their previous generations and that they will be going places when they are old enough. This is a lesson I want to keep, and I want to watch them do just that.

I was taught by my mother-in-law that we are on this earth to help people. This is a lesson definitely to keep because that is what I want to do above all else. Help people, everywhere.

I was taught by myself that I can do more than I originally thought was possible to do. This is definitely another lesson I want to keep and expand upon.

I have learned and am still learning that there is so much more to learn and that life is a school. This lesson will be staying for the rest of my life.

bookglasses

7 steppingstones book
I have learned that I am not average, I am capable. I have written and had published two books which are selling well all around the world and helping people too. I am a successful Life Coach who is changing the lives of people for the better and loving my work.
Think about who has taught you over the years, what you have learned and how valuable it is.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

Helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

creedence.jpg

Website

Facebook

Twitter

LinkedIn

by

Trusting your gut feeling

Gut feelings get their name from the place in the body where they make themselves known.  A pang in your gut when you may be doing the wrong thing, or a vibrant zing when your body approves of what you are doing, can guide you reliably at times when logic fails. Sometimes, when logic takes over, we ignore our gut and probably live to regret it.  We discover later that a rational approach is only one way of determining what is going on in a situation and how we should react. 

iStock_000002405095Small (2)

Our gut resides in the solar plexus just above your belly button. When it is functioning well, we can trust its guidance and adjust our actions accordingly. So many of us have a tendency to hold in this area of our bodies.  We take shallow breaths that never reach this part.  But it is in this place that we find the courage to act, to reach out into the world and create change.  When our gut is out of balance, we are timid and out of sync, wishing we had been able to say something although we were only able to say it later when we were alone; wishing we had acted on the opportunity we hadn’t seen until it was past. 
Happy young woman with a white background

In order to get the most out of your gut feelings, you may want to focus your attention on it more regularly and make the time to care for it. You can begin right now by taking a deep breath into your belly.  When you exhale, pull your navel in toward your spine so as to empty out completely before taking another deep breath into your belly.  When you empty completely, you release any stagnant energy and create more space to be filled with the fresh, nourishing breath.  

The more you practice this simple, cleansing exercise, the clearer and more communicative your gut feelings will be and the more comfortable you will feel acting on them. 

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

Helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

creedence.jpg

Website

Facebook

Twitter

LinkedIn

 
by

Whatever we believe becomes our reality

We tend to ignore information that we think is inconsistent with our reality. Successful people absolutely believe that they have the ability to succeed. They do not think or talk about the possibilities of failing. They do not even consider the possibility of failure.

We usually act in a manner consistent with our beliefs. The most important belief system we can build is one where we absolutely believe that we are going succeed. This is called positive thinking, confirming our reality that we absolutely know that no matter what, we will be successful.

Often positive thinking is difficult because our parents or guardians only gave love and approval to their children when they did something that they wanted them to do.  If we grew up with this kind of conditional love we will inevitably tend to seek unconditional approval from others.  When we become adults, this need for approval from the parent is transferred to the workplace and to our boss or workmates. We can become preoccupied with the opinion of the boss and some totally imagined high standard.

 

iStock_000004418879XSmall (2)

If we can change the way we think about ourselves and our potential, we can open new doors to unlimited possibilities and point ourselves in the right direction to a better, more fulfilling professional and personal life.  We should not think about what other people think of us, but we should concentrate on what we want and adjust our thinking so that we will achieve it. 

To begin to change the way we think about ourselves, we need to stimulate our imaginations.  This can be done by writing down a clear and detailed description of our ideal outcome.  We must be absolutely clear about the outcome, but we must also be flexible about the process of achieving it. 

There is a method you can use to see yourself having achieved your outcome.  It is called the ‘Hindsight Tool’.  It works like this:  

  • Think about the outcome you want, visualise yourself as having achieved it.

  • Then use the ‘hindsight tool’  – In your mind imagine yourself in, say, five years’ time, picture yourself being the successful person you want to be. How would you look? What would you be wearing? What would you be saying or doing?  Who would be around you, who wouldn’t be around you? Where would you be?

  • Then, turn round and look back to the present and see what course and actions you took, what mistakes you may have made and how you corrected them.

Your life does not resemble anybody else's

It may be that the outcome you imagined is not exactly what you hoped for.  That is fine and very normal.  Re-think your outcome and do the process over again.  You can do this many times until you get the outcome you want.  Then put it all into practice.

If you need help with any of the above, contact me.  

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.

I have some availability for new coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates for when you want to get started.  Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

creedence.jpg

Website

Facebook

Twitter

LinkedIn