Rationalising my time spent volunteering and looking after myself first

I took a long look at the time I was spending volunteering in various roles, and it was adding up to many hours each month.  I volunteer as resident Life Coach on Calder’s Confessions radio programme, read the news at the weekends for Vectis Radio, currently Chair of the Isle of Wight Independent Advisory Group for the Hampshire & Isle of Wight Constabulary.  All these roles take up my time and making a decision on which one, if any, to let go was very hard.

I weighed up how much time was spent each month on these activities, what I achieved in each role and whether I felt it advantageous for me to carry on with it.

For instance, to make a single recording of the weekly radio programme with Calder Jon, Calder’s Confessions, involves a two hour round trip in my car, reading and understanding the various problems people have written in and, of course, recording our responses.  All in all, it takes up half of my working day each week, which amounts to two whole days in a month.

I made the decision, after a lot of thought and consideration, to resign as the resident Life Coach, and reluctantly let Calder know.  He was absolutely understanding about it, and we parted on very good terms.  I am sure he will carry on as usual, and I wish him every success for the future.

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So having made this decision, what will I do with this reclaimed time of mine? I am going to work harder on my business and even harder with my clients to ensure they become the very best versions of themselves.

I am having a new leaflet designed by a professional graphic designer.  Finding the text and sorting out pictures will be fun, even if it is time consuming.  I am also having a new photo done with a professional photographer.  All this is so exciting, and I am curious to see the end results and to hand out my new leaflet to people.

Having the time to devote to this project is invaluable to me, and will, I hope, be a good aid when I am talking to new and prospective clients.

Why do women stay in abusive relationships?

I have created the opportunity for myself to improve my service to my clients, to improve my learning and coaching skills, to manage my time, to work more closely with my own coach and to make the balance between work and recreation more even and reduce stress and of course costs in travelling. The future is looking really good for me.

I made the decision for me, about me and without guilt.  I am practising what I advise my own clients: Look after yourself first, it is not selfish it is essential.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you. Contact me today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Are you holding on to things you ‘should’ do?

A lot of people carry around with them a huge amount of “baggage” or “clutter” in their minds. When I say this I mean that they are still holding onto things that they say they ‘should’ do, but  they really don’t need to.

There are many ‘coulds’ and ‘shoulds’ in your life that hold you back – you want to let go, but for some reason you don’t.

This is very common in several areas of life, in particular going through or after divorce.  You are not alone, I am guilty of doing it myself.

Are you carrying around with you a lot of emotional attention that you could be doing without rather than focusing on something more productive instead?

If you are, I bet it is having a negative influence on your confidence and self esteem.

Stressed Businesswoman

Take a look at your life, be honest with yourself and begin to get rid of this baggage, bit by bit, by asking yourself some questions and by completing the following exercise.  In effect, what you are doing is making certain tasks “complete”, drawing a line under them and moving on.

Answer the following questions honestly.  You can do it all in one go or do it over a period of days.  By writing your answers down they become more real and the changes more attainable.

Get to it and over a short space of time you will notice your confidence soar!

  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with at home
  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with at work
  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with in any other areas of your life

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 Make an action plan to make changes in your behaviour or communicate to the person involved in these things that you have been putting up with how you would like them to change their behaviour. Take action!

  • Make a list of things that are unresolved/unfinished in your life.

Make an action plan of how you are going to make some changes to reduce this number! Take action!

  • Do you need to clear the air with anyone? If so, just do it! Life is too short!
  • Did you ever say that you were going to call someone or keep in touch with someone yet have done nothing about it? If yes, call them or send an email to them today

Let go of as many coulds, woulds, shoulds, maybes, oughts as you can. Take action!

By completing these exercises you will be able to focus more on the here, the now and the future. You will now be able to let go of some of the things that have been taking up your valuable attention – those things that knock your self esteem. And you will definitely notice the results in the way you are more confident and more aware of what you will tolerate in your life.

Many of my clients find simple strategies to recognise their daily achievements and spur themselves on to greater success! What are yours going to be?

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you. Contact me today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Celebrating success

Have you ever noticed  how terrible we can be at acknowledging what we have achieved?  When congratulated on a success, we might hear ourselves say “oh it was nothing”.  On reaching a goal, we might skip the celebration because there is something else to strive for now.  When reviewing a half completed ‘to do’ list, we’ll bemoan what we didn’t do, rather than focus on what we did achieve.

Is this because we’re modest to the extreme, or do we simply not recognise just how much we do day to day, month to month, year to year?

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I think it’s the latter.  We either don’t recognise just how much we have achieved, or we don’t see how important every step we’ve taken is.  We don’t see our progress as an achievement.

As the frequently quoted saying goes “a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step”.  So if every step is progress, then in my book every step is an achievement.  What if we were to give ourselves more credit for everything we achieve?

Ticking things off a ‘to do’ list might not seem as celebration-worthy as representing your country in your favourite sport, but if it takes you closer to your own personal success then it’s a point scored in your own game!  So take that moment to acknowledge your progress.  When you reach a milestone, give yourself a reward.  And when you achieve what you were aiming for, seriously celebrate your success!

The energy gain from this change in perspective can be massive! I’m certainly more productive when operating from a mindset of ‘look how much closer I am to my goal and how much I’ve achieved!’ than if I were beating myself up about what I had left to do.  I’m sure you will be too.

Try this … Celebrate YOUR Success!

Cork Shot Out From a Bottle of Champagne

What could you do to pat yourself on the back more often?  Here are a few ideas that many of my clients use:

  • Keep a Success Journal – try it for a week and see how good you feel!  Each time you do something well, write it down.  Each time you complete a task you’ve been putting off, write it down.  Each time you feel even one small step closer to your big goal, write it down! I met a well known motivational speaker who does this every single day and having kept his success journals over the years, he now has a bookshelf full.  Imagine what he does on a bad day – cheers himself up pretty quickly I’d think!
  • Indulge in a delicious cream tea.
  • Enjoy a rejuvenating massage.
  • Meet your friends for a meal and a chat.

Reward Yourself – what better pat on the back than giving yourself something you enjoy as a reward!

When something goes well, when you achieve what you wanted to, when you reach a milestone on your way to something bigger… celebrate your success with a treat.  It could be a nice meal, a night out, a small gift to yourself or the bliss of a day / half a day doing something you absolutely love.  What will it be?

Tell somebody – let them share it with you!  When something goes well, don’t keep quiet, shout it from the rooftops and enjoy the recognition.

Many of my clients find simple strategies to recognise their daily achievements and spur themselves on to greater success! What are yours going to be?

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you. Contact me today.

Maggie Currie

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Life’s simple pleasures

There are a myriad of things in and around us that cost nothing or indeed very little yet give us enormous amounts of pleasure.  

 Some of the things that give me the greatest pleasure are looking out of my window at the view and seeing the green fields to one side and the sea to the other. I can sit and look out of the window in the daytime and see little boats sailing past, and some cruise ships too. Birds feeding from the feeders I hang up for them, foxes and rabbits jumping around in the fields. And then I can watch the sunset and the spectacular colours that it produces. By night I can watch the stars and the moon and see the mainland all lit up across the Solent.  

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Just sitting in my cosy chair talking with my friends on the phone gives me immense pleasure. Learning about how they are getting on in their lives and listening to their successes. 

 

A cup of freshly brewed coffee goes down well when reading a good book or watching a film on dvd.  Cutting out pictures to put in my book of dreams or on my dream board, kissing my husband, meeting up with friends, listening to children enjoying themselves.

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So many things to enjoy in life. Looking at beautiful flowers in the gardens, watching the blossom pop out of the trees, cats sunning themselves, babies smiling. 

 

There is something virtually everywhere I look that costs nothing but is priceless.
 I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you. Contact me today.
Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Trusting your intuition

Your intuition often called your gut feelings get their name from the place in the body where they make themselves known.  A pang in your gut when you may be doing the wrong thing, or a vibrant zing when your body approves of what you are doing, can guide you reliably at times when logic fails. Sometimes, when logic takes over, we ignore our intuition and probably live to regret it.  We discover later that a rational approach is only one way of determining what is going on in a situation and how we should react. 

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Your gut resides in the solar plexus just above your belly button. When it is functioning well, you can trust its guidance and adjust your actions accordingly. So many of us have a tendency to hold in this area of our bodies.  We take shallow breaths that never reach this part.  But it is in this place that we find the courage to act, to reach out into the world and create change.  When our gut is out of balance, we are timid and out of sync, wishing we had been able to say something although we were only able to say it later when we were alone; wishing we had acted on the opportunity we hadn’t seen until it was past.
Most of us have probably experienced a sense of knowing things before we know them, even though we probably can’t explain how. Maybe you hesitated at a green light and missed getting hit by a speeding car. Possibly you decide on a whim to break your no-blind-dates policy and meet your life partner. Those ‘insights’ can be tapped into when you learn to recognise the signals.  It could be sweaty palms, a funny feeling in your stomach or even an unexplained certainty that something is not right.  
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According to Judith Orloff PhD, a Los Angeles based intuitive psychiatrist and author or Second Sight (Three Rivers Press, 2010) there are five gut feelings that are advisable to pay attention to:
1.  Something feels wrong in my body.  It could be you feel drained by an energy-draining person. Move away from them.
2.  I am in danger. You can tell within the first 10 seconds of meeting someone if they are friend or foe.
3.  I want help.  Following your instincts for sympathy and generosity generally turns out to be a good investment in your health and happiness.
4.  I know how to do this. Sometimes your can-do instinct developed through years of experience is drowned out by an onslaught of overthinking and your ‘forget’ how to do something.
5.  This is it. Your intuition signals that you’ve found something or someone truly right for you.
In order to get the most out of your gut feelings, you may want to focus your attention on it more regularly and make the time to care for it. You can begin right now by taking a deep breath into your belly.  When you exhale, pull your navel in toward your spine so as to empty out completely before taking another deep breath into your belly.  When you empty completely, you release any stagnant energy and create more space to be filled with the fresh, nourishing breath.  The more you practice this simple, cleansing exercise, the clearer and more communicative your gut feelings will be and the more comfortable you will feel acting on them.
 I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you. Contact me today.
Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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My training, experience and successes as a coach

There are a lot of ‘coaches’ out there who have never had formal coach training.  That doesn’t mean they are not good at what they do, but to me it does make me ask the question ‘what are they actually teaching me, where are they getting their information?’.  I know to some people it doesn’t matter if their coach is qualified or certified or not, but to me it is very important.  If I can use the analogy of hiring a plumber to fit a new boiler, would I hire someone who is certified as a plumber, has his/her Gas Safe qualifications, has the necessary examination passes or would I hire the man down the road who has a slight knowledge of how a boiler works but no formal qualifications.  To me there is no contest, it has to be the qualified and certified plumber.

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And so it is for me when hiring a coach.  They have to be qualified, good at what they do and keen to help me get to where I want to go.  And I want my clients to know that I am qualified, certified, experienced and keen to get them to where they want to go.

There are many coaches out there who claim they have so many years experience of coaching and therefore consider themselves to be qualified in some way.  Unless they have gone through formal coach training and been certified by the organisation they have trained with, then to me they are not qualified.

I have been working as a life coach since 2004 and can honestly say that I am highly qualified and experienced.  I have listed below all my coaching qualifications and the institutions I gained these qualifications with:

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I trained with all those organisations, passed all the coursework, the coaching assignments, attended lectures, had hours of coaching conversations on the phone with colleagues in the USA, Australia and South Africa.  I am proud of the time, effort and commitment I have put in to becoming one of the top 10% of coaches in the UK.

Additionally I have worked hard with my clients who come from all walks of life.  I have worked with cleaners, authors, coaches, undertakers, secretaries, administrators and celebrities.  Each person is different, and each is fascinating.  I have so many success stories, and I will share some of the wonderful testimonials I have received at the end of this blog.

My experiences over the last ten years have allowed to me achieve the following:

I absolutely love my work and enjoy getting up in the morning knowing that I am going to be helping someone create a better life for themselves.  That is so rewarding in itself.  And I have worked with some tremendous people and keep in touch with them to find out how they are doing, and supporting them as they grow and become the very best versions of themselves.

People who work with me as their coach can be assured that I am not only qualified and certified, I have vast experience and knowledge and I only have their best interests at heart.  Each and every client is aware of my confidentiality policy, I never identify my clients without their express permission.

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Here are a few of the testimonials I have received from some of my wonderful clients:

“Maggie helped me to make one big decision that led to another, and another, and another – and that’s how my life changed for the better!”

“Maggie assisted me through a challenging time in my life. She is able to combine a no nonsense approach with genuine empathy to her coaching work and shares her knowledge generously. She holds you accountable for outcomes in a warm and caring manner. Training together and being coached by Maggie was such a pleasure. I always looked forward to those sessions with anticipation. Maggie is able to hold your space in a non-judgemental manner which gives you the confidence to move forward. I certainly recommend her as a coach.”

“Things are really good. There is very much a difference in my homelife now, very rarely do I even think about work, which is great. Even my daughter has noticed a difference. I don’t seem to get stressed like I used to. I really can’t thank you enough for your help!”

“The ride has been awesome…the support you gave me while I was driving at the wheel of my life, and you were sitting in the passenger seat guiding, encouraging, and supporting me was fantastic and I so appreciate that.”

‘Maggie, I am good thanks. Have made some significant changes to what I do and how I behave. Change is always difficult, but you just have to have confidence, back yourself and go for it don’t you!! Your book was the first step I took to set me on the way for this latest, and final, journey. I have picked up a few other things on the way, and there is no turning back now!!’

“Maggie is a wonderful coach who, I guarantee will have a positive effect on your life. A great person to know and have on your side.”

“Maggie has great experience of dealing with life situations in a positive way. I have seen people grow within themselves during several of her presentations and seminars. She deals with people in a non-judgemental and constructive way, whilst challenging them to look at their view of them selves and to re-evaluate their own self-worth.”

I measure my success by the successes of my clients.  Making a difference to their lives gives me goosebumps every time, as it never ceases to amaze me how great people can become and to know that I have helped them is such a great feeling.

All my clients, past, present and future can rest assured that I am highly qualified, certified and experienced.  They can also be assured that I am passionate about my work and love every minute of it.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you. Contact me today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Relationship anxiety

Relationship anxiety is very destructive, as you know. If you don’t learn how to get rid of anxiety in your relationship, it leads into a very devastating downward spiral:
  • Suspiciousness
  • Worrying about your partner not loving you, or not caring as much as you do
  • Thoughts of them being unfaithful.
  • Many more self-destructive thoughts and emotions.
And of course, all of these will fuel your relationship anxiety. 
In order to learn how to get rid of anxiety in your relationship, take the following steps:
Ask your partner for reassurance. When you find yourself becoming suspicious in your relationship, try to remember that it is probably being fueled by your anxiety. You may be able to get some relief from your relationship anxiety by asking your partner for occasional reassurance. They will be happy to give this if they are patient and understanding of your anxiety. 
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This kind of support may well be very helpful to you. Ask a trusted friend who is prepared to give you an honest answer if there might be some real reason for you to feel this way. But even when you get that real information, it may not help alleviate your relationship anxiety. You will have to work on that yourself. Perhaps your worry is that you feel that you are too “needy” in your relationship.
For instance, do you need constant reassurance and want your partner to regularly prove that things are really okay? This will inevitably put pressure on you and your partner and will add to the relationship anxiety.
I got married when I was 19 years old and discovered after about six months that I had made a terrible mistake. I was under a lot of pressure from my parents to stay in the marriage as it was not ‘the done thing’ to separate or divorce. In their opinion, I was far too young to know what I was doing. I believed them as I knew nothing different and so tried to make the marriage work.
 
Inevitably the pressure of trying to make it work instead of figuring out how to get rid of anxiety in my relationship made me very unhappy and anxious indeed. I stuck at it for twelve years until I couldn’t take it any longer and I made the decision to leave, take the children, and strike out on my own. I realised eventually that it wasn’t normal to be unhappy and anxious in a relationship.  A hard lesson to learn. That was the right decision for me, and the anxiety was lifted almost as if a huge weight had been taken off my shoulders.
 
If any of this is resonating with you, then you will need to find ways to cope with your anxiety and learn to rely more on yourself for feeling better – taking the pressure off your partner. This will allow you to become more self-sufficient, even in your anxiety. Give yourself permission to reassure yourself instead of turning to your partner for comfort each time you are anxious. Find ways to learn to think more positively. Try being grateful for what you have.
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When you are anxious you can create all kinds of ideas in your imagination that appear so intolerable that you feel compelled to take impulsive and totally misguided actions. You will find yourself:
 
  • Jumping to conclusions
  • Making decisions that are destined to fail
  • Behaving in a totally childish manner, sulking and demanding attention.
  • Look for solutions that will relieve your relationship anxiety and won’t result in increasing your problems further.
  • When you are anxious your partner will be anxious too. It becomes a vicious circle and the anxiety is fed constantly.
 
Learning to trust your intuition is an important part of reducing your anxiety. So, slow down, think through anything you are considering doing and follow your intuition. Make the effort to stop listening to that nagging voice that is telling you something is wrong. It is very likely when you slow down and think rationally that you will find a much better solution for you and your relationship. In this way, you can successfully get rid of anxiety in your relationship.

 If you need help with any of the above, contact me.

 

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.

 

Maggie Currie 

 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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