Reduce your stress

Having too much stress in your life, will make you anxious, irritable and unproductive.  Stress will affect your relationships, your performance at work, your long term physical and emotional health and your quality of your life in general.  But is there a way to reduce unwanted stress once and for all?

Why is it that all we seem to hear about these days is stress?  Why does it seem to pervade everything we do?  Well the simple answer is that as a result of ever-increasing expectations and competition more and more people are spending increasing amounts of time making very good use of their natural stress responses.

The instinctive responses, our body’s natural reactions to protect us from danger, release stress hormones directly into the bloodstream.  These hormones bring about  instant mental, emotional and physiological changes that provide extra awareness, endurance and strength.  So if we were in a dangerous situation, they would help us to survive.

And because stress hormones get us fired-up, rather like sprinters crouched and waiting for the starting-gun, and because most stressed people don’t get the release of the race itself or they don’t give their bodies and minds sufficient time and space to rest after each stress-filled moment, the stress hormones just keep on working long after the perceived successful situation has gone. And as a result, we permanently have to endure these feelings of immediate danger and physiological, mental and emotional readiness, never able to relax and never able to feel at ease. It makes us feel tired too, so much so that we want to sleep, but because we are stressed we can’t get to sleep and so we toss and turn and increase our stress levels.

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This obviously has a dramatic impact on the quality of our lives. Stress causes a wide range of emotional problems including issues with anger, anxiety, addiction, panic and obsessive thoughts.  It can also affect our physiology such that we suffer from insomnia and the inability of our immune system to work effectively.

Perhaps your stress is caused by crippling pressures at work, or through an unhappy home life.  Stress can also be caused by health worries – real or perceived, by financial worries, through the raft of worries associated with mid life crisis, through being too alone or not alone enough.  As life gets busier stress is on the increase and more of us are looking for ways to manage stress.

A story, entitled “Stress and Memory,” summarises the results of a study published in the ‘Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences Online’ that shows how stress chemically alters the brain’ s capacity to retain information, even very important information like where one can safely get one’s head above water when dropped unexpectedly into a lake or pond. That’s the effect on mice, anyway.

Scientists have discovered that if they play very irritating hissing noises to mice, the mice are then likely to forget where they can swim to safety while struggling to stay afloat in buckets of water … according to a story published on the science blog ‘ScienCentralNews’.

So if it affects mice, what is it doing to us?

Do you feel overwhelmed by too many things to do?  Have you noticed lately that you wake up early or in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep because your mind is racing?  Or have you been feeling more irritable about minor things at work or at home with your family?   If so, it sounds like there’s too much stress in your life.

Information-overload is one source of chronic stress.  We are bombarded with information from all angles every day.  From newspapers, television, radio, billboards, magazines, overheard conversations, the internet and so on. And most of what we are hearing and seeing is negative, which adds to the stress levels.

If you think that you’re the only one who’s suffering from your stress levels, think again.  New research suggests that one person’s stress can impact loved ones as well. Stress can be a huge source of misery in many lives.

Why not give it up?  Why not reclaim your life and start living the life you deserve to enable you to overcome your stress rapidly, leaving you physically more relaxed, mentally calmer and much more confident.  Quick fixes are hard to find, and often structural life changes are necessary to remove the major sources of stress.  Life coaching will enable you to overcome stress quickly and easily, leaving you physically more relaxed, mentally calmer, altogether more confident and most importantly, free of stress. Ultimately you will start living the life you desire.  Life Coaching will provide you with the tools required to avoid stress in the future.

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One of the tools you will learn to adopt is to stop getting caught in the avalanche of information – much of it negative as we know – that assaults you throughout the day.  Go on a news fast for a day, a week or a month.  Moderate your TV and Internet time.

Life coaching tackles life stresses in a more courageous way than many stress management techniques, because it invites you to take an honest look at the fundamental cause of your stress – namely – your life.  It offers both coping strategies for living with the status quo, but it also offers opportunities to change the status quo – thereby removing the sources of stress.

The life coaching process allows us to work together to find the sources of your stress and the routes to your happiness.  With the help of a Life Coach, you will design a new, better way to live, and you will find ways to make it happen. It isn’t easy, and it takes time, the Life Coach will support you in regular sessions to monitor progress, tackle problems, and help you to stay positive and energised. You will find the limiting beliefs which keep you down; you will remove these beliefs – springing the trap – allowing you to move into new ways of being.

As a result of these sessions, you will gain a better understanding of your stress (it’s rarely the way it seems at face value), you’ll see a better way to live, and you’ll move towards that better – stress-free life.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you. Get in touch with me today via the contact page of my website. Work with me to reduce your stress levels.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Rationalising my time spent volunteering and looking after myself first

I took a long look at the time I was spending volunteering in various roles, and it was adding up to many hours each month.  I volunteer as resident Life Coach on Calder’s Confessions radio programme, read the news at the weekends for Vectis Radio, currently Chair of the Isle of Wight Independent Advisory Group for the Hampshire & Isle of Wight Constabulary.  All these roles take up my time and making a decision on which one, if any, to let go was very hard.

I weighed up how much time was spent each month on these activities, what I achieved in each role and whether I felt it advantageous for me to carry on with it.

For instance, to make a single recording of the weekly radio programme with Calder Jon, Calder’s Confessions, involves a two hour round trip in my car, reading and understanding the various problems people have written in and, of course, recording our responses.  All in all, it takes up half of my working day each week, which amounts to two whole days in a month.

I made the decision, after a lot of thought and consideration, to resign as the resident Life Coach, and reluctantly let Calder know.  He was absolutely understanding about it, and we parted on very good terms.  I am sure he will carry on as usual, and I wish him every success for the future.

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So having made this decision, what will I do with this reclaimed time of mine? I am going to work harder on my business and even harder with my clients to ensure they become the very best versions of themselves.

I am having a new leaflet designed by a professional graphic designer.  Finding the text and sorting out pictures will be fun, even if it is time consuming.  I am also having a new photo done with a professional photographer.  All this is so exciting, and I am curious to see the end results and to hand out my new leaflet to people.

Having the time to devote to this project is invaluable to me, and will, I hope, be a good aid when I am talking to new and prospective clients.

Why do women stay in abusive relationships?

I have created the opportunity for myself to improve my service to my clients, to improve my learning and coaching skills, to manage my time, to work more closely with my own coach and to make the balance between work and recreation more even and reduce stress and of course costs in travelling. The future is looking really good for me.

I made the decision for me, about me and without guilt.  I am practising what I advise my own clients: Look after yourself first, it is not selfish it is essential.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you. Contact me today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Are you holding on to things you ‘should’ do?

A lot of people carry around with them a huge amount of “baggage” or “clutter” in their minds. When I say this I mean that they are still holding onto things that they say they ‘should’ do, but  they really don’t need to.

There are many ‘coulds’ and ‘shoulds’ in your life that hold you back – you want to let go, but for some reason you don’t.

This is very common in several areas of life, in particular going through or after divorce.  You are not alone, I am guilty of doing it myself.

Are you carrying around with you a lot of emotional attention that you could be doing without rather than focusing on something more productive instead?

If you are, I bet it is having a negative influence on your confidence and self esteem.

Stressed Businesswoman

Take a look at your life, be honest with yourself and begin to get rid of this baggage, bit by bit, by asking yourself some questions and by completing the following exercise.  In effect, what you are doing is making certain tasks “complete”, drawing a line under them and moving on.

Answer the following questions honestly.  You can do it all in one go or do it over a period of days.  By writing your answers down they become more real and the changes more attainable.

Get to it and over a short space of time you will notice your confidence soar!

  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with at home
  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with at work
  • Make a list of 10 things that you are putting up with in any other areas of your life

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 Make an action plan to make changes in your behaviour or communicate to the person involved in these things that you have been putting up with how you would like them to change their behaviour. Take action!

  • Make a list of things that are unresolved/unfinished in your life.

Make an action plan of how you are going to make some changes to reduce this number! Take action!

  • Do you need to clear the air with anyone? If so, just do it! Life is too short!
  • Did you ever say that you were going to call someone or keep in touch with someone yet have done nothing about it? If yes, call them or send an email to them today

Let go of as many coulds, woulds, shoulds, maybes, oughts as you can. Take action!

By completing these exercises you will be able to focus more on the here, the now and the future. You will now be able to let go of some of the things that have been taking up your valuable attention – those things that knock your self esteem. And you will definitely notice the results in the way you are more confident and more aware of what you will tolerate in your life.

Many of my clients find simple strategies to recognise their daily achievements and spur themselves on to greater success! What are yours going to be?

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you. Contact me today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Celebrating success

Have you ever noticed  how terrible we can be at acknowledging what we have achieved?  When congratulated on a success, we might hear ourselves say “oh it was nothing”.  On reaching a goal, we might skip the celebration because there is something else to strive for now.  When reviewing a half completed ‘to do’ list, we’ll bemoan what we didn’t do, rather than focus on what we did achieve.

Is this because we’re modest to the extreme, or do we simply not recognise just how much we do day to day, month to month, year to year?

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I think it’s the latter.  We either don’t recognise just how much we have achieved, or we don’t see how important every step we’ve taken is.  We don’t see our progress as an achievement.

As the frequently quoted saying goes “a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step”.  So if every step is progress, then in my book every step is an achievement.  What if we were to give ourselves more credit for everything we achieve?

Ticking things off a ‘to do’ list might not seem as celebration-worthy as representing your country in your favourite sport, but if it takes you closer to your own personal success then it’s a point scored in your own game!  So take that moment to acknowledge your progress.  When you reach a milestone, give yourself a reward.  And when you achieve what you were aiming for, seriously celebrate your success!

The energy gain from this change in perspective can be massive! I’m certainly more productive when operating from a mindset of ‘look how much closer I am to my goal and how much I’ve achieved!’ than if I were beating myself up about what I had left to do.  I’m sure you will be too.

Try this … Celebrate YOUR Success!

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What could you do to pat yourself on the back more often?  Here are a few ideas that many of my clients use:

  • Keep a Success Journal – try it for a week and see how good you feel!  Each time you do something well, write it down.  Each time you complete a task you’ve been putting off, write it down.  Each time you feel even one small step closer to your big goal, write it down! I met a well known motivational speaker who does this every single day and having kept his success journals over the years, he now has a bookshelf full.  Imagine what he does on a bad day – cheers himself up pretty quickly I’d think!
  • Indulge in a delicious cream tea.
  • Enjoy a rejuvenating massage.
  • Meet your friends for a meal and a chat.

Reward Yourself – what better pat on the back than giving yourself something you enjoy as a reward!

When something goes well, when you achieve what you wanted to, when you reach a milestone on your way to something bigger… celebrate your success with a treat.  It could be a nice meal, a night out, a small gift to yourself or the bliss of a day / half a day doing something you absolutely love.  What will it be?

Tell somebody – let them share it with you!  When something goes well, don’t keep quiet, shout it from the rooftops and enjoy the recognition.

Many of my clients find simple strategies to recognise their daily achievements and spur themselves on to greater success! What are yours going to be?

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you. Contact me today.

Maggie Currie

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Life’s simple pleasures

There are a myriad of things in and around us that cost nothing or indeed very little yet give us enormous amounts of pleasure.  

 Some of the things that give me the greatest pleasure are looking out of my window at the view and seeing the green fields to one side and the sea to the other. I can sit and look out of the window in the daytime and see little boats sailing past, and some cruise ships too. Birds feeding from the feeders I hang up for them, foxes and rabbits jumping around in the fields. And then I can watch the sunset and the spectacular colours that it produces. By night I can watch the stars and the moon and see the mainland all lit up across the Solent.  

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Just sitting in my cosy chair talking with my friends on the phone gives me immense pleasure. Learning about how they are getting on in their lives and listening to their successes. 

 

A cup of freshly brewed coffee goes down well when reading a good book or watching a film on dvd.  Cutting out pictures to put in my book of dreams or on my dream board, kissing my husband, meeting up with friends, listening to children enjoying themselves.

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So many things to enjoy in life. Looking at beautiful flowers in the gardens, watching the blossom pop out of the trees, cats sunning themselves, babies smiling. 

 

There is something virtually everywhere I look that costs nothing but is priceless.
 I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you. Contact me today.
Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Confidence sapping friends and colleagues

The people with whom you have the most contact and hang around will have either a positive or negative effect on your levels of self-esteem and confidence.  We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around.

How do they make you feel?

Yes, they make you feel the same!  They put zest into a boring atmosphere and fill the room with positive, can do vibes that has a knock on effect onto everyone else.

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We also know of those people who could moan for England!

According to them, they never had the opportunities, they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – need I go on?

These people drain your energy and bring you down to their level, a million miles away from the level that YOU want to be operating on.

Family members can be a lot like this as well, but you can always choose your friends, you can never choose your relatives!

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So what can you do to make sure that the people who you hang around with empower and support what you stand for, rather than bring you down all of the time?

You have the power to choose who you hang around with. Ideally you want happy, vibrant and positive people.

If you have good friends who are negative and yet you still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how you feel – if they are a true friend they will respect you for this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.

The same can be said with family. Your more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years and years and from different eras. Appreciate where they have come from and as in number 2 above, elicit and select the information that filters through to your brain.

Remember,  that nothing has meaning in life except the meaning that you give it.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.

I have some availability for new coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates for when you want to get started.  Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Conquering the fear of failure

Fear of failure is probably the single greatest obstacle to success in our adult lives. We often become totally preoccupied with not making a mistake and with seeking approval. The fear of failure is expressed in the words  “I can’t”.

We feel it in a physical way by the fast beating of the heart, rapid breathing, sweaty palms and a tight throat. We also experience this in the irresistible need to run to the loo.

Our second major fear that creates an obstacle in our performance is the fear of rejection.  We learn this at a very early age when our parents or guardians make their love conditional upon our behaviour.  If we do something to please them, they give us love and approval. If we do something to displease them, they withdraw their love and approval – which we often interpret as rejection.

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Going through divorce can trigger these feelings of failure.  But a very important thing to remember is: the marriage failed, not you.

As adults, we become preoccupied with the opinions of others because of this perceived rejection.  Many people develop hostility, suspicion and an obsession with performance to some imagined high standard.  It is virtually impossible to achieve this as it really doesn’t exist.

There is a belief that we have to work harder and accomplish more in order to please the boss.  The boss has replaced the parent and is  therefore perceived as the approval giver.

Research has shown that more than 99 percent of adults experience these fears of failure and rejection.  They are caught in the vicious circle of feeling, “I can’t, but I have to,” and “I have to, but I can’t.”

We can beat  these fears by developing our self-esteem, courage and character.  We can increase our self-love and self-respect.  Acting with courage in a fearful situation is one technique that boosts our love for ourselves to such a degree that our fears subside and they lose their ability to affect our behaviour and our decisions.

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Firstly, we need to realise and accept that we can do anything we put your minds to. Repeat the words, “I can do it! I can do it!” whenever we feel afraid. Write ina journal all your successes so you can remind yourself how good you actually are.

Secondly, we need to continually remind ourselves of just how wonderful we are, think of ourselves as valuable and important people and remember that temporary failure is one way we learn how to succeed.

If you need help with any of the above, please contact me.

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.

I have some availability for new coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates for when you want to get started.  Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Who were and are your teachers?

We learn all the time through various means, at school, college, university, from neighbours, friends, relatives etc. Who have been your teachers over the years?
My teachers have been my parents, my primary school teachers, my senior school teachers, college tutors, my cousins, my children, my grandchildren, colleagues, my friends, my mother-in-law, my husband, myself and friends-in-deed.

I was taught by my parents and my teachers that I was average. This is not a lesson I want to keep because I am not, never have been and never will be average. I am unique, and I may not know the same things that so called clever people know, but what I do know is just as valuable. 

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I was taught by my college tutors that I should follow the rules. This is not a lesson I want to keep because not all rules should be followed. There are some that must be followed, and there are some that should be bent a little, and some that should be ignored completely. It is all dependent upon the situation and the rule.

I was taught by my husband and three children that love is unconditional for them. That is a lesson I am keeping because no matter what I love them all unconditionally.

I have been taught by my grandchildren that they are more intelligent than their previous generations and that they will be going places when they are old enough. This is a lesson I want to keep, and I want to watch them do just that.

I was taught by my mother-in-law that we are on this earth to help people. This is a lesson definitely to keep because that is what I want to do above all else. Help people, everywhere.

I was taught by myself that I can do more than I originally thought was possible to do. This is definitely another lesson I want to keep and expand upon.

I have learned and am still learning that there is so much more to learn and that life is a school. This lesson will be staying for the rest of my life.

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7 steppingstones book
I have learned that I am not average, I am capable. I have written and had published two books which are selling well all around the world and helping people too. I am a successful Life Coach who is changing the lives of people for the better and loving my work.
Think about who has taught you over the years, what you have learned and how valuable it is.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

Helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Trusting your gut feeling

Gut feelings get their name from the place in the body where they make themselves known.  A pang in your gut when you may be doing the wrong thing, or a vibrant zing when your body approves of what you are doing, can guide you reliably at times when logic fails. Sometimes, when logic takes over, we ignore our gut and probably live to regret it.  We discover later that a rational approach is only one way of determining what is going on in a situation and how we should react. 

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Our gut resides in the solar plexus just above your belly button. When it is functioning well, we can trust its guidance and adjust our actions accordingly. So many of us have a tendency to hold in this area of our bodies.  We take shallow breaths that never reach this part.  But it is in this place that we find the courage to act, to reach out into the world and create change.  When our gut is out of balance, we are timid and out of sync, wishing we had been able to say something although we were only able to say it later when we were alone; wishing we had acted on the opportunity we hadn’t seen until it was past. 
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In order to get the most out of your gut feelings, you may want to focus your attention on it more regularly and make the time to care for it. You can begin right now by taking a deep breath into your belly.  When you exhale, pull your navel in toward your spine so as to empty out completely before taking another deep breath into your belly.  When you empty completely, you release any stagnant energy and create more space to be filled with the fresh, nourishing breath.  

The more you practice this simple, cleansing exercise, the clearer and more communicative your gut feelings will be and the more comfortable you will feel acting on them. 

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

Helping people to become the very best version of themselves.

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Whatever we believe becomes our reality

We tend to ignore information that we think is inconsistent with our reality. Successful people absolutely believe that they have the ability to succeed. They do not think or talk about the possibilities of failing. They do not even consider the possibility of failure.

We usually act in a manner consistent with our beliefs. The most important belief system we can build is one where we absolutely believe that we are going succeed. This is called positive thinking, confirming our reality that we absolutely know that no matter what, we will be successful.

Often positive thinking is difficult because our parents or guardians only gave love and approval to their children when they did something that they wanted them to do.  If we grew up with this kind of conditional love we will inevitably tend to seek unconditional approval from others.  When we become adults, this need for approval from the parent is transferred to the workplace and to our boss or workmates. We can become preoccupied with the opinion of the boss and some totally imagined high standard.

 

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If we can change the way we think about ourselves and our potential, we can open new doors to unlimited possibilities and point ourselves in the right direction to a better, more fulfilling professional and personal life.  We should not think about what other people think of us, but we should concentrate on what we want and adjust our thinking so that we will achieve it. 

To begin to change the way we think about ourselves, we need to stimulate our imaginations.  This can be done by writing down a clear and detailed description of our ideal outcome.  We must be absolutely clear about the outcome, but we must also be flexible about the process of achieving it. 

There is a method you can use to see yourself having achieved your outcome.  It is called the ‘Hindsight Tool’.  It works like this:  

  • Think about the outcome you want, visualise yourself as having achieved it.

  • Then use the ‘hindsight tool’  – In your mind imagine yourself in, say, five years’ time, picture yourself being the successful person you want to be. How would you look? What would you be wearing? What would you be saying or doing?  Who would be around you, who wouldn’t be around you? Where would you be?

  • Then, turn round and look back to the present and see what course and actions you took, what mistakes you may have made and how you corrected them.

Your life does not resemble anybody else's

It may be that the outcome you imagined is not exactly what you hoped for.  That is fine and very normal.  Re-think your outcome and do the process over again.  You can do this many times until you get the outcome you want.  Then put it all into practice.

If you need help with any of the above, contact me.  

I am helping people to become the very best version of themselves and would love to work with you.

I have some availability for new coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates for when you want to get started.  Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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