From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again – 6 month on-line course

Does this sound familiar?

On the outside you are looking great, but inside you are falling to pieces. The cracks are really beginning to show. 

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Have you had to make a presentation to the board when you are feeling totally broken inside, and on the outside you are struggling to keep your composure? There is no need to suffer in silence, you are not alone. I understand what you are going through. Reach out your hand, grab hold – I’ve got you. I will help you to transition the bold front you are putting on – the perfect appearance on the outside – and the inner turmoil where you are tearing yourself apart. My new 6 month on-line coaching course entitled: ‘From Confusion to Clarity – Becoming ME again’ is for you.   I will give you the tools and techniques to heal the inner you and get you back to the real you. Rebuild your confidence in yourself and end that constant ringing in your ears that you are not good enough. You most definitely are good enough. You will learn:

  • To control the direction of the change which will happen in your life.
  • Success strategies and resources. And
  •  You will gain tools and techniques to confidently create the new future you want and deserve.
 

I will teach you how to get out from that feeling of despair 

 

 

 

into enjoying your life and enjoying being you!

 

 

 

 

Whether you have been through or are going through divorce, life trauma, redundancy, we all know it is never easy. There are a range of emotions that could come into play (anger, regret, frustration, fear, sorrow, anguish, bitterness, hatred, depression), and there can be a sense of loss similar to that of bereavement. It is often the case that we go through the 5 stages of bereavement either during or after a divorce, redundancy, life trauma. The 5 stages are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. 

 This turmoil of emotions and feelings can make you question your value as a person, and can knock your self-esteem down so far that it begins to seem impossible to come back from that horrible place. 

 

Often you are nagged by your inner voice saying things like “If only I had done this…” or “I should have done this …” or “I am not lovable” or “I’ll never be happy” or “I’ll always be alone”. That kind of self talk is very destructive and can lead to depression, guilt and a sense of having nowhere to turn.

 I will teach you that there is life after divorce, life trauma, redundancy and it will be as happy and satisfying as you choose to make it. Yes it is a choice, how you live your life is a choice. Make the right one. 

I have been through emotional and psychological abuse, a toxic relationship, divorce, lost my confidence and hit rock bottom. I have been made redundant and had life traumas. Through changing how I viewed myself, training to be a Life Coach and living what I teach, I have rebuilt my confidence, turned my life around and created my own successful businesses.

I guarantee, if you implement what you learn, you will change your life on my 6 month online course ‘From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again’.

 

The benefits to you include:

  • You will be heard and understood. Together we will begin to change your life and improve your relationship with yourself.
  • I know how you are feeling and understand exactly how to help you to get your life back, the life you deserve.
  • You will rebuild your confidence so you can succeed in your life.
  • You will change your mindset and begin to change your life.
  • You will get renewed enthusiasm for your success as defined by YOU!
 
 
 

You will get webinar tutorials, workbooks, feedback, an initial personal laser coaching call, regular personal coaching calls for Q&A and coaching.

 
Sign up and change your life.I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

 

Maggie Currie 

 

Creedence – Confidence for You

 

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

 

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Why do women stay in abusive relationships?

There are many, many reasons why women don’t leave an abusive relationship.  I believe that most of the reasons stem from fear.

Most of the fears are understandable, but often irrational.  For instance, fear of having no money if they leave.  Because women are generally at home looking after the children, they don’t have any income of their own.  The fear of financial ruin builds in the mind until it becomes ‘I can’t survive if I leave’. And so they stay.

Fear of what other people might think.  There is often a social stigma that labels women as failures if they dare to leave their partners.  Usually nobody outside the home realises what is going on which adds to that stigma.  This leads to feelings of insecurity. And so they stay.

Fear of what might happen to them at the hand of their partner if they did leave.  Often women believe that their partner will come after them and kill them and/or their children. The threats are made to them over and over again, until they are ingrained in their mind.  And so they stay.

Women often fear that they are the reason that they are abused.  That it is their fault. And if they were to change their ways their abusive partner would be different.  A false supposition.  And so they stay.

I know how difficult it is to leave an abusive relationship.  I was verbally, psychologically, financially and emotionally abused by my first husband. He would belittle me in front of the children and other people, always tell me that I knew nothing, that I was of no use and he would do anything to stop me succeeding at anything.  Add to that the fact that my parents believed that I should make the marriage work because I was too young, in their opinion, to know what I was doing, I was financially dependent. And so I stayed.  I stayed 12 years.

I did, eventually, find the courage to leave and take the children with me and started a new life in a different town.  The feeling of relief was immense.  Although I was threatened with all sorts of things, such as having the children removed, losing my flat etc., I discovered that the threats were empty.  And this is probably true of most abusers.  They are cowards and when someone actually stands up to them, they generally back off.

There are ways out of this horrendous situation.  There are women’s refuges who will help you so that you can get yourself out of the abusive home.  Once you are out and can think about what options there are for you, there are life coaches who can help you see yourself as you, the real person, and not a punch bag.

If I had known about life coaching back then I would have been the very first client.

There is no reason good enough to actually justify staying in an abusive relationship.

If you can identify with this, and you would like to chat, get in touch today. I have also launched my Survivor coaching programme and you can find details here

Maggie Currie 

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Dealing with emotional abuse

I discovered that emotional abuse came from several directions.  It came from my first husband who, for years, told me that I was not clever, no use at ironing his shirts, not like his mother, not good enough to be part of his family….. and so on, and on he went.

It also came from my parents who encouraged me to stay with my first husband even though I was plainly unhappy and the marriage wasn’t working. I was told that I was far too young to know my own mind and that divorce was out of the question.

My parents-in-law agreed with my husband that I wasn’t good enough for their family and therefore I should learn how to be a good wife and do everything that I was told to do by my husband.

I dealt with this in the only way that I knew how at the time. I kept my head down, did as I was told and just plodded on through life.  I was unhappy and I couldn’t see any end to the misery that I was enduring.

I did, however, find a way out in the end. I was more and more unhappy, the marriage was just not working. My husband was diagnosed as being schizophrenic but he would not accept this.  He refused to be treated in any way and accused me of being the instigator of his supposed illness.  He was unreasonable and unpredictable and became obsessed with the idea that I was having an affair and would tell me that because I had taken five minutes longer to do the shopping than he expected I must have been meeting a man.  This was plainly ridiculous as I had three small children and the shopping to carry. I had neither the time, the energy or the inclination to do so.

This emotional abuse went on for 12 years.  In the end something clicked in my head and I couldn’t take it any longer.  I plucked up the courage to leave.  I took the children and left. I sued for divorce and got enough money to buy a small flat where we could live in another town twenty miles away.  A new start, in a new town, with a new flat and no emotional abuse day after day.

I am now a much different person and I won’t tolerate emotional abuse from anyone, not from my children, my parents, friends – whoever.  My husband now of 27 years would never emotionally abuse anyone and I am so very happy now.

Looking back I do realise that I allowed this to happen to me.  At the time I didn’t realise it, but now I understand. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

So to deal with emotional abuse can be difficult and it can become impossible. If it becomes impossible for you then you have to choose whether you deserve better or not – I think you do.

Dealing with emotional abuse

So what can you do to get out of this place where you are emotionally abused?

•Get some help from a qualified coach or therapist – make sure it is someone who understands what you   are experiencing and can relate to what you are telling them so you can begin your healing process.
•Look online for some blogs that refer to what you are going through. Read them, make comments on them.  Open up a dialogue to help you get some answers.
•Buy a self-help book and take some action to change the way you think about yourself.
•Make the decision to not be emotionally abused any longer.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Having no confidence and seeing no way out

I know how it feels to have no confidence and being unable to see a way out. 

I have been there myself. I hit rock bottom when I had the flu, all the children had chicken pox.  We were all sitting huddled and miserable in the living room, feeling sorry for ourselves.  It was cold, and I had just one 50p coin left for the meter.  I thought to myself that I have to do something, and do it very soon, or none of us will survive.  Life looked so bleak, I didn’t have a job, I didn’t have any prospects, I was struggling as a single mum with three small children, there didn’t seem to be anything I could do. 

Dealing with emotional abuse


My mind was focused on what I couldn’t do, or what I perceived I couldn’t do.  This was a step in the right direction, recognising that I was focusing on the wrong things. 

I made a decision there and then to change just one thought.  I changed the thought of not being able to get a job to that of being able to get a job.  

I called my parents on the phone and they brought me a few more coins for the meter.  We all recovered from our illnesses and the very next week I went out whilst the children were at school and got a job.  I got the job of kitchen assistant at the school my children attended.  I cooked and served the school dinners, washed up and started to rebuild my confidence.

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Getting a job meant I had money, having money meant being able to feed and clothe the children.  This of course was a huge boost to my confidence.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Our actions do make a difference

I have been working with a client for the past 6 months and it has been amazing to watch her change and grow as a person.  

I am so pleased that she is so much more aware of her own actions and how she ‘reacts’ to situations. She now realises it is better to step back and view the situation from the metaphorical distance and respond from her intuition rather than allowing her ego to react.

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This is the wonderful testimonial my client gave me:

“The ride has been awesome…the support you gave me while I was driving at the wheel of my life and you were sitting in the passenger seat guiding, encouraging, and supporting me was fantastic and I so appreciate that.”

I learned about myself too whilst coaching, as all my clients teach me something new. It is so wonderful to be able to learn and teach and be open to learning more and more. The learning helps me to keep my ego in check and allows me to follow my intuition, and that never lets me down.

I have learned from my clients, my fellow coaches, friends etc., that when we neglect to recycle, speak up, vote or help somebody in immediate need, we deny ourselves the chance to make positive change. 

New for 2013. From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again


By holding on to the belief that our actions don’t make much of a difference, we tend to ignore opportunities for involvement. Alternatively, when we see ourselves as important participants in our  ever-evolving world, we feel inspired to contribute our unique perspective and gifts to a situation.

Our actions do make a difference in this world, it is up to us to make sure it is a positive difference.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Your life does not resemble anybody else’s

People come into our lives for a reason.  Sometimes we are not sure why until they have gone. But even that is good, because we always learn something from every single person who touches our lives.

We learn a myriad of things from so many different people. Some who have such amazing stories to tell, some who have simple stories to tell.  Some people who are only now beginning their journey of self discovery, some who have travelled a long way along its path.

Every single person has their own perspective, their own thoughts and dreams. Each and every one of us is following our own paths to discover what is lying ahead of us.

 


Accept that your life does not resemble anybody else’s. Everybody’s life is totally unique to them. Live your life the way you want to. You can happily co-exist with lots of like-minded people if you choose to.

Challenge your limiting beliefs about your life. Discover why you have those limiting beliefs. Open your mind to the possibility that you are not as limited in your life as you first thought. Open your mind to the endless possibilities that are out there, great or small. Be prepared to extend your thinking beyond what it has been, up until now. Be prepared to expand your norm.

Examine your attitudes. Decide whether they really are your attitudes, or whether they are attitudes imposed upon you by parents, guardians, siblings, teachers and so on. Once you have established which are yours and which are imposed, make the decision to alter the ones that are imposed upon you (but only if you disagree with them or they just don’t sit right with you).

Make one small change in your behaviour to create a huge change in your life. It doesn’t have to be anything dramatic, it could just be changing the filling in your sandwich. Start small and work up to bigger changes, but make sure the changes are the ones that you want to make. 

Attract different people to you. By changing your perceptions, your attitude and your behaviour you will begin to attract different people to you. Your circle of friends will expand and offer you even more choices. Make the choices that are right for you.


Change your attitude to yourself; believe that you are capable, that you are beautiful, that you are lovable. Learn to love and respect yourself.

Intend to create your life. Picture your life in great detail, make it bright, colourful and clear. Add as much detail as possible to the picture. See what you will look like in your new life, hear what people are saying to you and about you, feel what it will be like in your new life.  If you don’t like what you are seeing or hearing, change the details in the picture until you get exactly what you want. Make it as bright as you can, see what you see, hear what you hear, feel what you feel.  Step into your picture, be part of your new life.

Life is too short to live it on somebody else’s terms. Live the life you want to live and be happy.  Expect more from life and you will get it. Don’t settle for anything less.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Living in the moment

I went on a road trip from the Isle of Wight to Perth in Scotland.  I left on a Monday with my husband and we drove 200 miles towing our caravan to stay overnight in a camp site in Nottingham.  The lady there was lovely and had her own little bar with real ales.  We slept there and then set off again on Tuesday for County Durham.

We drove another 200 miles and stayed for two nights in a camp site near Beamish.  The caravan site was impersonal and quite frankly money grabbing, asking for £20 deposit for the keys to the toilet block and the gate to get in and out.  We visited Beamish, the museum, on Wednesday and rode on the old trams and buses, went into the department store that sold everything you could think of, the sweet shop and the old tea rooms. It as a wonderful day out and we thoroughly enjoyed it.

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On Thursday we travelled another 200 miles to Scone Palace in Perth in Scotland and spent 4 nights there at the Rewind Scotland Festival. Loads of 80s bands were playing and we were doing Indian Head Massage for the punters.  It was fun, we met some lovely people on the other trade stands and the punters of course.

On Monday we set off for home, travelled 280 miles to stay in a camp site in Lancaster.  The lady there was lovely and friendly and we slept well.

On Tuesday we had another 280 mile drive to Southampton to catch the ferry back to the Isle of Wight.

How is this all connected to living in the moment you may ask?  Well, I have deliberately enjoyed the whole trip by staying in the moment and not thinking about what is going to happen when we get back.  After all, the more we stay in the moment, the more fun we have and the less worry we have. If only I had known how to do this when I going through divorce.  My life would have been so much easier.

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Interestingly, last night I began to think about what was going to happen tomorrow with my work and instantly felt a tightening in my chest.  So I deliberately stopped thinking about it and the tightness faded.  I listened to my body and to my own advice.

It has worked for me and I am feeling relaxed and energised, enjoyed the journey home.  Tomorrow is another day and I will live in the moment again, and again.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Friends come and go for a reason

I was considering why it is that friends come into our lives and some of them go out of our lives again.

There are many reasons but for me I think that some people fall away because of the changes I have made to myself.   I have learned so much about myself that I was unaware of. For instance I have stuffed emotions and feelings down because I was conditioned not to show emotion or share feelings.

Four Women Friends at the Beach

When I was in a toxic relationship I had very few friends, and those I did have were not that close.  I wasn’t allowed to get close to anybody.  Getting divorced and learning to live my life as me has been a steep learning curve.

I have learned how to express my feelings, get close to people and keep others at arm’s length.  Now that I am able to express emotions and share my feelings other people may find this unacceptable to them. And that is okay. What I am comfortable with is not always comfortable for everyone else. And that may be why some friends have moved away.

The friends I have currently are wonderful. Some live nearby, some live on different continents, but I am grateful to them all for their friendship and support. I do my best to support all my friends, it may be in a big way or in a small way.

Dealing with emotional abuse

I am grateful for all the friends I have had, still have and those I have yet to meet for their contributions to my life.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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What makes me laugh?

I was wondering what to write and then it came to me – what makes me laugh?

The things children say that are so honest and innocent – for instance my granddaughter Abigail who is 9 years old now, was asked when she was about 18 months old to go and do something with her mother. Her reply was ‘I haven’t finished yet’. When asked by her mother what she was doing that she hadn’t finished yet, Abigail replied ‘Looking out of the window’. Now that made me laugh, because it was so cute, so innocent and so honest.

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My husband makes me laugh on occasion. Sometimes it is something he says, sometimes it something he does, it could be the way he looks.

Dogs make me laugh by the way they run around in circles trying to catch their tails, or chase leaves or each other.

Monkeys with their antics, squirrels playing with their acorns, horses trotting around their fields.

My face in the mirror first thing in the morning is hilarious.

I love to watch people and often the way they behave makes me laugh. It could be that they are tipsy and giggly, or they have a specific way of packing their shopping into their bags.

20 ways to increase your confidence after divorce

Laughing doesn’t mean I am ridiculing, it means that I am enjoying what I am seeing and feeling. I love people and animals. I find them fascinating and intriguing.

So lots of things make me laugh, sometimes inwardly and sometimes with a full on belly laugh. The latter is extremely good as I can feel my mood shifting too.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Who do I love?

There was a time when I didn’t love myself because I didn’t feel worthy. I was in a toxic relationship that drained all emotion from me and left me a shell of the person I really was.

A grateful attitude helps in times of extreme stress

Today that is so very different. I have rejected that relationship, divorced, moved on and remarried. The situation now is so very different.

There are many people who I love, and in many different ways too.

I love my husband of 28 years, Kelvin, he is my rock, lover, friend, confidante and most of all my support through life’s ups and downs.

I love my mother for being who she is, for bringing me up to the best of her ability and for being there when I needed her.

I love my children, all 3 of them equally even though I have very little contact with my sons – their choice.

I love my 5 granddaughters and 1 grandson, all of them equally. I have met 5 of them, have never met one and, have no contact with 3 of them. The choice of their parents.

I love my friends in deed  who are always there for me to encourage, compliment, advise and listen.

New for 2013. From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again

I love my friends who are there for me always. I don’t have to ask, they are just there. Even if I don’t see them for months at a time.

I love me for being the rock and support for my husband, for being there for my mum when she needs me, for being there for my children whether they need me or not, for being there for my grandchildren whether they need me or not and for being there for my friends in deed and my friends.

I love me for being me and for being prepared to develop even more into me, to take care of me and to continue to move forward in my life.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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