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Who do I love?

There was a time when I didn’t love myself because I didn’t feel worthy. I was in a toxic relationship that drained all emotion from me and left me a shell of the person I really was.

A grateful attitude helps in times of extreme stress

Today that is so very different. I have rejected that relationship, divorced, moved on and remarried. The situation now is so very different.

There are many people who I love, and in many different ways too.

I love my husband of 28 years, Kelvin, he is my rock, lover, friend, confidante and most of all my support through life’s ups and downs.

I love my mother for being who she is, for bringing me up to the best of her ability and for being there when I needed her.

I love my children, all 3 of them equally even though I have very little contact with my sons – their choice.

I love my 5 granddaughters and 1 grandson, all of them equally. I have met 5 of them, have never met one and, have no contact with 3 of them. The choice of their parents.

I love my friends in deed  who are always there for me to encourage, compliment, advise and listen.

New for 2013. From confusion to clarity – Becoming ME again

I love my friends who are there for me always. I don’t have to ask, they are just there. Even if I don’t see them for months at a time.

I love me for being the rock and support for my husband, for being there for my mum when she needs me, for being there for my children whether they need me or not, for being there for my grandchildren whether they need me or not and for being there for my friends in deed and my friends.

I love me for being me and for being prepared to develop even more into me, to take care of me and to continue to move forward in my life.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Who is the real me?

What does finding the real me really mean? Well to me it means I have uncovered the real sense of my self. I am able to make my own decisions without being manipulated by other people. I am an individual person in my own right and not a clone of someone else. I have re-established a connection my inner self.

For years I was conditioned to not feel, to not show emotion, to not question, to do as I was told. Therefore I hid my feelings and emotions very well.

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I have survived a toxic relationship where I was emotionally and psychologically abused.  I wasn’t allowed to be me, I had to be who my husband thought I ought to be.  I had to subservient, obedient, not talk to other people, be his possession.  Fortunately I gained the courage to divorce him after 12 years.

I have learned through working on myself that is totally not me. I have burrowed deep down inside me and brought out those suppressed feelings that were stuffed down for so long. I do have feelings, they can be hurt and then they hurt I am now able to acknowledge the hurt, feel the hurt and work through the hurt to get to a place where I have dealt with the hurt.

This works for a whole range of feelings, joy, happiness, surprise, sadness etc. I have learned to acknowledge and recognise those feelings, to embrace them and work with them.

I have learned that I do have emotions and it is okay to express these emotions. There is absolutely nothing wrong with me when I express my emotions. I am allowed to cry, I am allowed to let people see my cry. I am allowed to laugh, cry, scream, shout, whatever my emotions dictate. That is me, the real me.

happyladywithbook

My conditioning is being slowly changed and I am constantly learning. I am no longer disconnected from the sense of myself, I can make my own decisions and not feel guilty about doing so, I am an individual and proud of it.

I have discovered that I am not average in any way whatsoever. I am a successful businesswoman who has set up and is running two successful businesses. I am an exceptionally intuitive and good coach. I am a successful author of two books which are selling worldwide and changing lives.

I have discovered that I do have a voice and that it is heard. I am seen and heard, I am learning to express my feelings and emotions and I am continuing to learn.

I have a place in this world, and that place is to help people to change their lives, to be able to be confident and able to live their authentic lives and to learn to love themselves and others.

I am on a continuing journey and learning more and more about the authentic me as I go. There are a lot more layers to unveil I am sure.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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My journey for me as a coach working with my coach

A lot of the work that I have done  has been on my emotions.  These could have been those that I am feeling now at this very moment, or at some time in the past that I have yet to acknowledge and deal with.  One of those emotions was that of guilt and/or shame and it was connected to meals I was served up by my parents.

I can remember being aged about 7 and I was sitting at the dinner table with my parents and my brother, who is three years older than me, and we were having Sunday dinner.  It was a roast with roast potatoes, vegetables and gravy.  I didn’t want to eat all my dinner for whatever reason.  So I was told by my mother that if I didn’t eat my dinner there was a child in Africa who had no food at all and who would be very grateful to get my dinner.

diningtable

Now being 7 years old I didn’t dare answer back so I gradually stuffed all the dinner into my mouth and eventually it was all gone.  All the time I was thinking to myself how on earth do they intend to pack up this roast dinner with all the vegetables, roast potatoes and gravy?  Are they going to put it in an envelope and post it to Africa?  How will they know which child will get the dinner?  What state will the food be in when it gets to Africa which is trillions of miles away? How will they know if a child in Africa has eaten it? What if that child doesn’t want it, will it be sent back to me? And so the thoughts went on.

All the while I was feeling guilty for apparently wasting food and shameful because I was depriving a child in Africa of a dinner.  And these emotions and feelings were left undealt with until I worked through them and wrote about how angry I was that they had made me eat all that food I didn’t want and resentful of that child in Africa who wanted my food.  I was hurt that this emotional blackmail was used on me.  I was afraid that if I didn’t eat all the food my parents would not love me any more and this led to me feeling insecure.  As I said I felt guilty for wasting food. But I loved my parents and I understand now that they were doing the best they could and I can now forgive them and I want them to know that I love them still and always will.

journal

Part of this learning for me was writing my thoughts and experiences in my journal. Something I was quite resistant to at first, but I have benefited so much and learned so much about me that I love it now and enjoy writing in it every day and noting my continued progress.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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Who are my friends?

My friends, with whom I like to spend time, are very few. I have some really good friends here on the Isle of Wight where I live and, on occasion we take time out to have a meal, meet up for a drink or just to natter. I know I can trust these friends, they are there to support me, as I am them. They don’t drain the energy out of me and I like being with them and hearing about their successes. Equally they like being me with and hearing about my successes.  We support each other in good times and bad and we can count on each other. We intuitively know when something is wrong and do our best to help whoever needs it.

I have some very good friends who live on the mainland.  I used to work with them and we meet up several times a year for  ‘Ladies who lunch’ days.  We meet, have coffee and catch up, wander around the shops either window shopping or buying, have lunch, more shopping and chatting.  A thoroughly good time is had and we each look forward to meeting up and hearing how we are all getting on.

Four Women Friends at the Beach

I have some friends that I have known for 50 years. We meet up occasionally and it is as if we only saw each other yesterday.  We communicate on social media and email and it is always lovely to actually get to see them in person.  We always laugh and have such a good time.

I have more good friends who are also my fellow coaches. I haven’t met up with them physically yet,  but I know they are there for me and will support me and love me. They know that I am there for them too and will love and support them. We don’t judge or criticise, we support and encourage. These are my friends-in-deed and I look forward to our calls each week  and our interactions online daily. We learn so much about ourselves and each other and helps our personal growth.

I have some so-called friends who I keep as clear of as I can as they drain my energy and, although they appear to be givers, they are in fact takers. I don’t expect everyone to give to me, and at the same time I don’t expect them to keep taking either. These people are toxic to me and I avoid them where possible.

There are some people who are truly motivational and they include  Mother Teresa who, although is no longer with us, has made some truly mind-blowing statements and did such great work so selflessly. There is, of course, my dad who is no longer with us, but who was wise and always had time for me. Often over a cup of coffee I will think about him and remember the good times.

 

Getting our lives back after divorce

 

My husband Kelvin inspires me with his constant support. He is my rock and without him I would be lost. He loves me unconditionally, as I love him, and he supports me in all that I do, as I support him. He allows me to be me and that is very valuable to me.

My friends-in-deed bring me positive energy and we are mirrors for each other. We inspire each other with our learnings and teachings. My friends here on the Island and on the mainland inspire me with their achievements and energy. I love hearing all about how successful people are and it pleases me to think that I have helped them with their success in some small way and have eased their emotional pain.

I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.

Maggie Currie 

Creedence – Confidence for You

International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author

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