Having self-esteem means feeling good about yourself. It means you feel worthy of happiness, health, love and forgiveness. When you have a healthy level of self-esteem you have a strong sense of your personal power. Then, and only then, can you move forward positively in your life.
When your self-esteem isn’t it tact, it has been diminished by constant reminders that you are worthless, useless and nobody wants you, you feel frightened and vulnerable. You are open to the challenges life brings but as they breeze in they knock you over and you feel incapable.
To rebuild your self-esteem and ultimately your self-confidence, you have to examine your beliefs about who you are and remind yourself daily of your talents, your qualities and your abilities. You must dare to question your direction in life and learn to dream again. And, by taking some very gentle baby steps you will being to rebuild your foundation again and build your self-esteem and confidence on that foundation.
One of the first ways to begin this process is to stop worrying about what other people think of you. What other people think of you is none of your business. Let them think whatever they like.
What you will usually find is that other people are far more worried about what you think of them to even begin to think about what they think of you.
You are human. All human beings make mistakes and we usually recover. From now on I want you to do what is right for YOU, regardless of what other people think.
I want you to take personal responsibility for your role in each and every situation you face in your life. Understand that your thinking and your attitude create your life.
Consider how you respond to people and situations. Look at how you can change your responses to put you in control of your life – NOW.
You can’t change other people, but you can change your response to them.
One of the very steps to rebuilding your self-esteem is to let go of the past. By holding on to negative and angry feelings and emotions you are the only person who is suffering. It is like picking up a burning coal to throw at something and not letting go. The longer you hold on to it, the more you are burned.
Learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes. As I said, we are all human. You are doing the best that you can.
Set yourself free to move your life forward. Don’t allow past mistakes to weigh you down.
Another thing to let go of is perfection. Accept yourself as you are, now in this moment. Life is a huge learning curve and you are doing the best that you can with the resources, knowledge and insights that you have.
By judging yourself as imperfect you are removing your opportunity to grow, learn and experience happiness in your life.
Gently nurture yourself, as you would a small child. Accept that others can make mistakes and are imperfect too.
Don’t compare yourself to other people. Drop your expectation of others having to be perfect. We are all human with human imperfections.
Choose not to scream at yourself or condemn yourself for perceiving you are stupid or for not being perfect.
Be kind, gentle and patient with yourself in all situations. Quieten that harsh voice that is terrorising your mind. Know that you can deal with much more than you think.
Try one or more of the following:
Is there anything you enjoyed as a child – drawing, painting, dancing, singing for instance – that you would love to experience again, but the fear of being not good enough stops you from doing it? What is it?
If you were to suggest to a friend something they could do to treat themselves, what would that be? Would you like that treat yourself?
What would really make you jump for joy if you were to allow yourself the opportunity to experience it?
What would you love to treat yourself to that you can afford – however you have never allowed yourself to go for it?
Make a list of five tiny little treats that would allow you to enjoy your days more.
If anything you have read resonates with you, let me know.