How many times have you thought you were getting through a life trauma, or you are in the aftermath, and then you hit a setback and it seems that you went back to the way you were? I know I have.
Don’t worry, you are not the only one! Setbacks and difficulties occur all of the time – they are a natural activity of life. It really doesn’t feel like that at the time.
There are two ways of facing difficulties. You can either change or alter the difficulty, or you can alter yourself to be able to deal with it.
Deal with difficulties correctly and you will enhance your confidence, deal with them incorrectly and you can do some serious damage to your feelings of self worth.
When you are faced with any setback your ability to deal with it can be turned around into a position of strength by asking yourself positive empowering questions. There is an unwritten rule that says:
‘Ask your mind a stupid question and you will get a stupid answer!’
So, if after a setback you ask yourself something like “Why does this always happen to me, I never have any luck?” That little voice inside your head will probably come out with:
“Because you are useless and good things do not happen to you!”
Instead, if you ask yourself a positive empowering question like:
“What did I learn from this setback that will help me the next time?”
Your little voice inside your head will be silenced and you will kick into solution mode.
Here are some rules and things to think about when setbacks do occur:
- Acknowledge that it has happened. Don’t hide from it. These things happen. So what?
- What positive empowering questions can you ask yourself?
- What is good about this situation? There is always something good in any situation, you just have to find it.
- How can I make the most of this situation?
- What can I/did I learn from it?
- What are the facts about this problem?
- How can I make it a successful outcome?
Acknowledge that setbacks occur to everyone and you are not being singled out. View them as a challenge to overcome rather than an issue or problem.
Think about those negative dis-empowering thoughts that you think on a regular basis after a setback. The ones that little voice keeps nagging you about.
What new empowering questions could you ask yourself to give yourself some better answers?
Write them down now and make them become a habit.