Losing your confidence during or after divorce is very common. I know how it feels, I lost my confidence when I got divorced. It wasn’t easy to bounce back, but I managed it. Had I know about Life Coaches back then, I would have been first in the queue.
Here are some tips for increasing your confidence right now:
1. Think about someone who is confident and act, talk and walk like him or her. Model their mannerisms and behaviour. It works for them; it will work for you.
2. Smile a lot more. That doesn’t mean putting a silly grin on your face! But smile when you walk down the street, when you meet people and generally be happier even if you’re not feeling that way.
3. Learn from the past; don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s gone; it’s never coming back. Instead learn from it for next time.
4. Buy yourself some new clothes, get your hair done, treat yourself to something new. It will make you feel better and will give your ego a boost.
5. Be prepared for situations. Are you prepared enough to meet any challenge that may come up? Are you prepared for that meeting, that presentation, that job interview, when you meet someone for the first time? If not, get to it.
6. Play to your strengths. Know what you are good at and expose yourself to these opportunities at every opportunity – because you’re good at it, you’ll enjoy it and have more confidence.
7. Improve your weaknesses. Know and appreciate what these are and put a plan in place to improve them over time.
8. Learn how to say no to people. Don’t be afraid, you’ve got nothing to be afraid of. Just watch the reaction on their face after you’ve said it the first time and there will be no going back.
9. Be positive. Look on the “can do” side of things rather than the “can’t do”. You’ve accomplished lots in your life and you will accomplish lots more in the future.
10. Be in charge of your thoughts at all times. What is a thought? It’s just a question that you’ve asked yourself and the thought is your answer. If you’re thinking negative thoughts, you’re probably asking a negative question. Change the questions to be more positive.
11. Whenever you feel a negative thought coming, STOP, THINK, and say is this really important in the grand scheme of things. A lot of the time it isn’t. Many people in life major in minor things!
12. Don’t let the words of others affect you. Do you mind what they think of you? Remember that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. It’s not what they say to you that’s the problem it’s what you say to yourself after they have stopped talking that’s the problem. Change the way you think.
13. List the words that you use on a consistent basis when you feel let down or annoyed. People use different words to mean the same thing and depending upon the intensity of the word – this will have an effect on your confidence. Instead of saying “I’m enraged about this” say, “I’m a little annoyed”. Make a substitute list for the words that you use. Make sure they are lower in intensity and then use them. You’ll be surprised with the results.
14. At the end of each day make a list of your achievements and successes. Watch that list grow each week.
15. Be grateful for what you have in your life right now. Who do you love? Who loves you? Who do you help out?
16. Every morning when you’re in the shower or bath, play over in your head the events in the day as though they have already happened and they were a success. Visualise all of the meetings, the people you talk to, the outcomes. Visualise success and confidence and it will happen.
17. Improve your body language. The way that you move your body has a massive impact on your confidence levels. Move your body assertively and walk with your head up, shoulders back and as though you’ve got somewhere very important to go. Feeling low in confidence? Change you body language.
18. Emotion is created by motion. As in 17, make sure you move around consistently. This creates energy and gets the blood pumping around you body – it makes you feel better and more confident.
19. Learn to brag about yourself. Yes, you heard me! Talk about your achievements and successes more than you currently are.
20. And finally – You only live once, so any time that you are down just ask yourself in ten or twenty years time – will what I am worrying about really matter?
Work on some or all of those now and notice the difference.
Do you want to remain stuck and miserable?
I have some availability for coaching clients, we just need to fix some dates if and when you want to get started. Get in touch today.
Creedence – Confidence for You
International Confidence Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author
There will always be situations where it feels like you have no confidence, but following this 1, 2, 3 connects you with a confidence in yourself, even if you’re in uncharted territory and quietly shaking in your shoes .
Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you’re making to the rest of the world, you won’t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more you’ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition.